If only for phillosopher...
Crusader's Guide To The Holy Land
The Catholic Church
Directed by the Pope (see Space Pope on page 85962 or Battle Pope on page 43677 if you meant to look for them) the Catholic Church is a religious organisation based on the teachings of a man who was nailed to a bit of wood but said it was sort of OK and when he went he would a) be coming back and b) in the meantime everyone should just chill out and be nice to each other. A noble quest to be sure.
However his words are subject to many interpretations, the most liberal of which are ironically held by the most conservative minded.
eg.
Jesus says " Be nice to everyone"
Becomes:
Jesus says "Be nice to everyone apart from gays, Jews, Muslims, the French, people who look at you a bit funny, anyone with a wart (because let's face it they're probably witches and even if they're not well hey, at least you've got rid of an ugly person), anyone who thinks maybe we shouldn't take my teachings quite so out of context and anyone that isn't the pope."
For around 1000 years the Catholic Church dictated the thoughts of everyone in Europe.
It was a happier time.
Hello once again!
I've been away for a while, I've been growing a beard as you can see.
I think that's fairly impressive for someone of my age don't you?
I'm still making decisions for everyone though.
They trust me.
Remember, a friend is for life, not just for Christmas.
Or 3 days before.
Whatever.
YES! FINALLY MY WIFE IS DEAD! HAHAHA! FREEDOM!
Oh wait, this is my wife.
Drat.
I am informed a wave of constipation has swept the nation.
I have no idea what is going on here, Gherbod came in and started saying friend and enemy in rapid succession.
I just said yes.
Yes, I'd heard the bishop market was very competitive, seeing how many people you can absolve however quickly and so on.
Only 11 years into the beginning of research we have finally managed to clear bits of forest away to make terrain vaguely passable!
Truly we are masters of engineering!
(Note from Horse N. Cart: This may seem like sarcasm but he honestly means this. Pathetic, isn't it?)
Here we have the person who wants to be my bishop challenging the person that is my bishop to a fight.
The person who is my bishop accepted and was subsequently killed.
Setting a fantastic example for the hundreds of people who rely on them for guidance in their morals they are not.
The challenger kills the challengee and takes his job.
Now that is how you run a country!
Well, that's all folks!
See you again soon!
(I had planned to go until the end of his reign in this chapter but honestly, the guy's a machine. So far he's 67 and everyone around him has died but he just keeps on going.)
(Boudewijn's beard growth can be attributed to getting swanky new graphics. You might as well attribute the poor quality of the update to that too, I can't think of a better reason.)