Poet he tries to be?
Just remember to let the king to pay for this poetry and also for the troops!
Just remember to let the king to pay for this poetry and also for the troops!
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If only for phillosopher...
Crusader's Guide To The Holy Land
The Catholic Church
Directed by the Pope (see Space Pope on page 85962 or Battle Pope on page 43677 if you meant to look for them) the Catholic Church is a religious organisation based on the teachings of a man who was nailed to a bit of wood but said it was sort of OK and when he went he would a) be coming back and b) in the meantime everyone should just chill out and be nice to each other. A noble quest to be sure.
However his words are subject to many interpretations, the most liberal of which are ironically held by the most conservative minded.
eg.
Jesus says " Be nice to everyone"
Becomes:
Jesus says "Be nice to everyone apart from gays, Jews, Muslims, the French, people who look at you a bit funny, anyone with a wart (because let's face it they're probably witches and even if they're not well hey, at least you've got rid of an ugly person), anyone who thinks maybe we shouldn't take my teachings quite so out of context and anyone that isn't the pope."
For around 1000 years the Catholic Church dictated the thoughts of everyone in Europe.
It was a happier time.
Hello once again!
I've been away for a while, I've been growing a beard as you can see.
I think that's fairly impressive for someone of my age don't you?
I'm still making decisions for everyone though.
They trust me.
Remember, a friend is for life, not just for Christmas.
Or 3 days before.
Whatever.
YES! FINALLY MY WIFE IS DEAD! HAHAHA! FREEDOM!
Oh wait, this is my wife.
Drat.
I am informed a wave of constipation has swept the nation.
I have no idea what is going on here, Gherbod came in and started saying friend and enemy in rapid succession.
I just said yes.
Yes, I'd heard the bishop market was very competitive, seeing how many people you can absolve however quickly and so on.
Only 11 years into the beginning of research we have finally managed to clear bits of forest away to make terrain vaguely passable!
Truly we are masters of engineering!
(Note from Horse N. Cart: This may seem like sarcasm but he honestly means this. Pathetic, isn't it?)
Here we have the person who wants to be my bishop challenging the person that is my bishop to a fight.
The person who is my bishop accepted and was subsequently killed.
Setting a fantastic example for the hundreds of people who rely on them for guidance in their morals they are not.
The challenger kills the challengee and takes his job.
Now that is how you run a country!
Well, that's all folks!
See you again soon!
(I had planned to go until the end of his reign in this chapter but honestly, the guy's a machine. So far he's 67 and everyone around him has died but he just keeps on going.)
(Boudewijn's beard growth can be attributed to getting swanky new graphics. You might as well attribute the poor quality of the update to that too, I can't think of a better reason.)
Crusader's Guide To The Holy Land
The Catholic Church
Directed by the Pope (see Space Pope on page 85962 or Battle Pope on page 43677 if you meant to look for them) the Catholic Church is a religious organisation based on the teachings of a man who was nailed to a bit of wood but said it was sort of OK and when he went he would a) be coming back and b) in the meantime everyone should just chill out and be nice to each other. A noble quest to be sure.
However his words are subject to many interpretations, the most liberal of which are ironically held by the most conservative minded.
eg.
Jesus says " Be nice to everyone"
Becomes:
Jesus says "Be nice to everyone apart from gays, Jews, Muslims, the French, people who look at you a bit funny, anyone with a wart (because let's face it they're probably witches and even if they're not well hey, at least you've got rid of an ugly person), anyone who thinks maybe we shouldn't take my teachings quite so out of context and anyone that isn't the pope."
For around 1000 years the Catholic Church dictated the thoughts of everyone in Europe.
It was a happier time.
Hello once again!
I've been away for a while, I've been growing a beard as you can see.
I think that's fairly impressive for someone of my age don't you?
I'm still making decisions for everyone though.
They trust me.
Remember, a friend is for life, not just for Christmas.
Or 3 days before.
Whatever.
YES! FINALLY MY WIFE IS DEAD! HAHAHA! FREEDOM!
Oh wait, this is my wife.
Drat.
I am informed a wave of constipation has swept the nation.
I have no idea what is going on here, Gherbod came in and started saying friend and enemy in rapid succession.
I just said yes.
Yes, I'd heard the bishop market was very competitive, seeing how many people you can absolve however quickly and so on.
Only 11 years into the beginning of research we have finally managed to clear bits of forest away to make terrain vaguely passable!
Truly we are masters of engineering!
(Note from Horse N. Cart: This may seem like sarcasm but he honestly means this. Pathetic, isn't it?)
Here we have the person who wants to be my bishop challenging the person that is my bishop to a fight.
The person who is my bishop accepted and was subsequently killed.
Setting a fantastic example for the hundreds of people who rely on them for guidance in their morals they are not.
The challenger kills the challengee and takes his job.
Now that is how you run a country!
Well, that's all folks!
See you again soon!
(I had planned to go until the end of his reign in this chapter but honestly, the guy's a machine. So far he's 67 and everyone around him has died but he just keeps on going.)
(Boudewijn's beard growth can be attributed to getting swanky new graphics. You might as well attribute the poor quality of the update to that too, I can't think of a better reason.)
Ok, I would rather like to know who is reading this and what their thoughts are on how funny/mind numbingly boring it is.
If you are reading please send your name and comments to the Blue Peter Studio PO Box EX33 1HY or, alternatively simply write a comment in the handy comments section bit.
Cheers.
If you are reading please send your name and comments to the Blue Peter Studio PO Box EX33 1HY or, alternatively simply write a comment in the handy comments section bit.
Cheers.
Crusader's Guide to the Holy Land
Death
A fairly unpleasant experience by which one is deprived of life. There are various forms of death ranging from old age, to brutal murder. Everyone dies eventually it is merely a matter of how. For tips on murdering people see page 145553, for further information on death see also assassinate and Menzies Campbell.
Oh, goodness, don't sneak up on me like that, you almost gave me a heart attack. Shall we begin?
Our land is now more stable, we were originally building most of our buildings on custard but now we've moved onto jelly. The difference is immediate.
Umm, yeah, that sounds about right.
I think.
The Duchy of Valois is revolting!
I can smell them from here, honestly do they never clean their toilets?
Oh yes, they have also seceded from France.
England and France have gone to war!
My chancellor was a bit of an idiot and tried to lead a force despite the fact that his job is talking to people.
He was injured, presumably he dislocated his jaw whilst talking to vigourously.
Oh, hello Horse N. Cart, my, my, you've brought your book. Gosh it is massive isn't it? Why are you raising it above your head? Why are you bringing it down very fast? Oh goodness me.
Death
A fairly unpleasant experience by which one is deprived of life. There are various forms of death ranging from old age, to brutal murder. Everyone dies eventually it is merely a matter of how. For tips on murdering people see page 145553, for further information on death see also assassinate and Menzies Campbell.
Oh, goodness, don't sneak up on me like that, you almost gave me a heart attack. Shall we begin?
Our land is now more stable, we were originally building most of our buildings on custard but now we've moved onto jelly. The difference is immediate.
Umm, yeah, that sounds about right.
I think.
The Duchy of Valois is revolting!
I can smell them from here, honestly do they never clean their toilets?
Oh yes, they have also seceded from France.
England and France have gone to war!
My chancellor was a bit of an idiot and tried to lead a force despite the fact that his job is talking to people.
He was injured, presumably he dislocated his jaw whilst talking to vigourously.
Oh, hello Horse N. Cart, my, my, you've brought your book. Gosh it is massive isn't it? Why are you raising it above your head? Why are you bringing it down very fast? Oh goodness me.
Crusader's guide to the Holy Land
Arnulf Van Vlaanderen
Mostly psalmless
Hello there ickle pigeons! I'm Arnulf and I like lots and lots of things like teapots and Andrew Lloyed Webber. Would you like to come and have tea with me and the Maharaj?
(I think I will enjoy writing a heretical, inasane man.)
(Also look at him, he's about as useful as a chocolate teapot. On the Sun.)
Arnulf Van Vlaanderen
Mostly psalmless
Hello there ickle pigeons! I'm Arnulf and I like lots and lots of things like teapots and Andrew Lloyed Webber. Would you like to come and have tea with me and the Maharaj?
(I think I will enjoy writing a heretical, inasane man.)
(Also look at him, he's about as useful as a chocolate teapot. On the Sun.)
Salvation or salivation? We'll have to look in this CGttHL to see what it says about Arnulf.
This man is destined to unite Europe. You can say just by looking at his face.
PS. He's honest so... He should tell anyone he's talking to that he is crazy. But he's crazy so he won't. But then again he's honest so... WSHOOM! (I was just destroyed by a paradox.)
PS. He's honest so... He should tell anyone he's talking to that he is crazy. But he's crazy so he won't. But then again he's honest so... WSHOOM! (I was just destroyed by a paradox.)
I am very happy that I was able to kick start this little AAR back into action, the comedy is something that is funny and not seen much in the AARverse. Glad to see that it is back. :rofl:
Enewald - We'll see about that....
nette001 - You've already got your entry on him. Mostly psalmless.
Vesimir - Oh goodness, since you've been destroyed please don't sue, it really wasn't my fault.
phillosopher - Glad to be of service.
nette001 - You've already got your entry on him. Mostly psalmless.
Vesimir - Oh goodness, since you've been destroyed please don't sue, it really wasn't my fault.
phillosopher - Glad to be of service.
As little as I know of CK, I can see your Duke is preeety worthless. Is there any possibility he has a second head and was born on a little planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse? 
Crusader's Guide To The Holy Land
Insanity
Insanity is a mental disorder causing people to be, well, insane. Insanity can cause visions of the future in some and refernces to things which are yet to actually happen. Some people argue that insane people are truly the only sane ones and it is the insane who are truly sane. This argument is a load of fetid dingo's kidneys.
ATTACK! MAN THE STARBOARD BOW! BRING ME MY TEDDY BEAR! CALL UP THE 1ST NINJA REGIMENT!
Maybe I should iron my socks. Yes. I think I shall do that.
Perhaps open a corner shop, sell bacon rashers at low, low prices.
But what of the VAT? Perhaps I can swing a good deal from the parish councillor.
Teddy, what do you think?
I think you need a name of some sort. I shall call you Sherringham.
Weren't they a band in the 90's?
Oh wait, no I'm thinking of Take That.
Aren't they back together? I think so.
Mark Owen is dreamy...
Be interesting if they found a way of extracting fuel from potatoes.
There would be wars over Ireland.
Wonder what the Leprechauns would think of that? Probably a bit pissed off.
(Sorry that this update was just a few random non sequiturs, I'll try and be a little more innovative and clever with the insanity thing.)
Insanity
Insanity is a mental disorder causing people to be, well, insane. Insanity can cause visions of the future in some and refernces to things which are yet to actually happen. Some people argue that insane people are truly the only sane ones and it is the insane who are truly sane. This argument is a load of fetid dingo's kidneys.
ATTACK! MAN THE STARBOARD BOW! BRING ME MY TEDDY BEAR! CALL UP THE 1ST NINJA REGIMENT!
Maybe I should iron my socks. Yes. I think I shall do that.
Perhaps open a corner shop, sell bacon rashers at low, low prices.
But what of the VAT? Perhaps I can swing a good deal from the parish councillor.
Teddy, what do you think?
I think you need a name of some sort. I shall call you Sherringham.
Weren't they a band in the 90's?
Oh wait, no I'm thinking of Take That.
Aren't they back together? I think so.
Mark Owen is dreamy...
Be interesting if they found a way of extracting fuel from potatoes.
There would be wars over Ireland.
Wonder what the Leprechauns would think of that? Probably a bit pissed off.
(Sorry that this update was just a few random non sequiturs, I'll try and be a little more innovative and clever with the insanity thing.)
I happen to have a bit of time on my hands....
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Holy Land
Forward
Opposite of Backward
Backward
Opposite of Forward
Up
Opposite of Down
Down
Opposite of Up
Opposite
Opposite opposite of Opposite
.ngier ym pu smus ylevitceffe siht llew
?hctac eht s'erehw ?yenom teg I dna rethguad ym teg uoy os
.heh .ysereh ym fo "deruc" eb ot desoppus m'I ,siht tuoba raeh t'nseod sseniepop sih epoh s'tel
.sseniepop ruo lluf sgab 3 ,sseniepop ruoy esruoc fo ,sseniepop ruoy , sey yhw
!elbat lanogatpeh eht fo sthgink eht revo drol eb llahs I dna !tolemac eltsac ym llac llahs I
.elbasucxeni eb dluow eman taht esle dam m'I gniht doog a s'ti ,heh ...uoy lliw rehtien dna
.t'nac uoy esuaceb .t'now uoy on ?uoy lliw em evael reven ll'uoy
...rotagilla eht fo dir teg dluohs I ebyam .tsoh doog a eb ot tseb ym deirt ev'I ?em evol yeht t'nod yhw .truoc ym gnivael nosrep ro tnemeriter rehtona tey
...neht em ekil thgim sseniepop sih .dlouhs ylbaborp I esoppus I
.yracs rehtar gnikool era seiknom rednerrus gnitae eseehc eht .ereh dnuora sdneirf emos evah ot pleh ylniatrec dluow ti ,llew
(Good luck to those of you that take it upon yourself to translate that. It can be done, there is very definite method to my (and Arnulf's) madness)
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Holy Land
Forward
Opposite of Backward
Backward
Opposite of Forward
Up
Opposite of Down
Down
Opposite of Up
Opposite
Opposite opposite of Opposite
.ngier ym pu smus ylevitceffe siht llew
?hctac eht s'erehw ?yenom teg I dna rethguad ym teg uoy os
.heh .ysereh ym fo "deruc" eb ot desoppus m'I ,siht tuoba raeh t'nseod sseniepop sih epoh s'tel
.sseniepop ruo lluf sgab 3 ,sseniepop ruoy esruoc fo ,sseniepop ruoy , sey yhw
!elbat lanogatpeh eht fo sthgink eht revo drol eb llahs I dna !tolemac eltsac ym llac llahs I
.elbasucxeni eb dluow eman taht esle dam m'I gniht doog a s'ti ,heh ...uoy lliw rehtien dna
.t'nac uoy esuaceb .t'now uoy on ?uoy lliw em evael reven ll'uoy
...rotagilla eht fo dir teg dluohs I ebyam .tsoh doog a eb ot tseb ym deirt ev'I ?em evol yeht t'nod yhw .truoc ym gnivael nosrep ro tnemeriter rehtona tey
...neht em ekil thgim sseniepop sih .dlouhs ylbaborp I esoppus I
.yracs rehtar gnikool era seiknom rednerrus gnitae eseehc eht .ereh dnuora sdneirf emos evah ot pleh ylniatrec dluow ti ,llew
(Good luck to those of you that take it upon yourself to translate that. It can be done, there is very definite method to my (and Arnulf's) madness)