The Hungarian Adventure!: A not too serious AAR

[Lt Hilsdorf]

***NOTE****This is my first AAR and considering I'm not that good at HoI2 it may not go to well for me but that's all in fun right? Anyway I just want to make it clear that this isn't going to be a super serious AAR about alternate history or such. It's just a weird AAR about me leading a nice little nation to complete and utter victory at the free world's expense. Just remember nothing here is SERIOUS.

Settings will be Normal/Normal and with Fog of war off. As for rules there are none, for now. Any and all suggestions will be taken, from cheating to actual strategy. Anyway enough with that, on to the AAR!




It was a wonderful Janurary evening in Hungary when Lt HIlsdorf woke up and had a sudden thought.

"I don't know why, but I think I'll take over the Balkans."

And with that thought in his head Lt decided to check his planner to see what Hungary was going to be doing in the next few months, just to be sure...

Seeing that nothing major was planned for the next 100 years or so Lt went about making the country ready for the great battle of their time.

Hungary itself was not very strong at this time so Lt went about the long process to modernize the nations. First he disbanded all of the Hungarian airforce, since they were out of date and undermaned. Research was begun into upgraded military doctrines for the Army as well as new infantry division tech. And two new infantry divisions were also put into production.

"There, now that we have begun that process, lets see how the OTHER 'nations' of the region are doing" Lt said.

As he checked the documents he laughed and said, "Ha these nations are about as weak as Cambodia in the 1836 VIP scenario!!" Suddenly he relized he had no idea what the VIP scenario was since it wasn't invented yet, but his point was the Balkan nations were ready to fall.

The truth REALLY was that they really weren't THAT weak. Yugoslavia had a fairly large army, as did Romania who actualy had the weird invention called TANKS!!!!! Lt would have to find out more about these "tank" creations, so he decided that Romania would be the first to go. But in order to take Romania, he would need a friend................

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

**This conversation was record mere hours after the declaration of war**

Lt-Listen the truth is this war wasn't started because of breakfast cereal. The truth is both our nations national cereal is "Honey Nut Squares", avalible at your local Wegmans. The point is I need a friend to fight this vampire nation. Will you be it?

Polish diplomat-Let me get this straight, you want us to JOIN you in an ALLIENCE in a war started because of breakfast cereal???

LT-Ummm ya pretty much. Plus we wanna learn what the mystery surrounding these so called "tanks" is.

PD-No thanks, but no thanks I think we'll wait 3 years and follow the historic path and be conquered by Germany. It is choice 'A' after all.......

LT-Well I'm sorry to hear that.

*Several gunshots heard*

LT-Whoops my gun went off. Sorry bout that. Hey you ok?

*Sound of LT getting up*

LT-Oh well he's dead, why didn't he say so! And well I'll be, he was shot with the OFFICIAL ROMANIAN ASSASINATION HANDGUN! Looks like Poland will join us in our war after all!!!

After the assasination of Polands Hungarian diplomat by "crazed Romanian cereal nationalists" Poland joined Hungary in an allience to rid the world of the romanian nation.

And so the great Hungarian-Romanian Cereal War, as it was later known, began. Unfortunatly for the Polish-Hungarian forces, Romania had a trick up its sleeve. One with...............squareness.

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

[Kaiser Franz]

lol.....this a hilarious one...keep it up. i love the planner..... :rofl:

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

lol.....this a hilarious one...keep it up. i love the planner..... :rofl:

Thanks, I'm glad to hear it. Plan to update more soon.

OH and just so everyone knows, the headline should be in 1936, not 39. I'll have to change that sometime.

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

As the Hungarian Times said, our troops were on the move, sweeping quickly into Romanian terrritory. And by sweeping quickly I mean taking one of the boarder provinces that was unoccupied at the time. Poland has made little gains. Actually they have made none at all. Our troops were equipped with the latest warfare technology and tactics, as shown in these actual combat photos.

As our brave troops stood watch on the HUGE amount of land we have conquered, there was a noise off in the distance. This series of photos shows the horrific events that led to victory for Hungary.

The attack of the Romanian tanks worried the Hungarian officials for a total of 10 minutes until an effective counter measure could be made.

And so Lt Hilsdorf led Hungary to another victory and gave a speech.

Part of Lt Hilsdorf's Grand speech:

We the Hungarian people have fought bravely against our mortal enemy of Romania and we will go down the road to victory, a road I call Victory Road. With the help of our very great ally Poland, we will eventually make it another 3 miles into Romania and maybe to the Black Sea within 10 years! Good luck to all our soldiers out in the field!

 

[elbasto]

Squareness?!

Oh no, we are DOOMED!º

 

[Klavo Hunter]

Ah, but if they only took the time to hop out and write "Battleship" on the side of the tank, they'd be safe!! :rofl:

But then I suppose you'd pull out the belgian waffles....

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

This passage was taken from Lt Hilsdorf's diary from the front lines

The nights have been deadly cold, the food supplies dangerously short, yet our men countinue to survive. They fight with honor, pride and courage. I too have shown these traits as I stay with the men at the front lines and make my own sacrfices. I promise I will continue to lead the troops as long as I have a single breath-

"Umm sir, you do realize that you're in your $1 billion+ mansion, eating a steak with Honey Nut Squares while drinking a large bottle of vodka and snuggled up in your nice warm blanket?" Lt's aid asked as he looked on to what Lt was writing.

"Well I AM at the front lines right?"

"Yes, yes you are."

That was the sad truth. The Romanians had pushed back Hungary's SUPER STRONG foothold on the country like so many small african nations in Victoria. The evil Romanians had researched the "Honey Nut Tank Tech" and used the Hungarians love of cereal against them by making the carboard tanks become made out of Honey Nut Cereal boxes instead. As all hope seemed lost, a new hope came......

The day after the Peace of Cereal was formed, ending the war, Lt gathered all of his military people together for a meeting of great importance. Here is the actual transcript of the meeting:

LT-Gentlemen, as you know we lost our one chance to conquer the world. So now we need a new plan, and it just so happens I have one.

Random Military Guy-What is it our great leader?!?!?!?!

LT-OK here's the plan. I have in my possesion a TIME MACHINE. With it, I will load the game, I mean REAL LIFE, to several months ago when I planned to invade the Balkans. In order for you to understand this concept, please watch the movie "Time Chasers". Anyway once I am in the past I will convince myself to, instead of invading Romania, invest in Lemon mines.

RMG-Um "Lemon mines"??

LT-Yes, the profits made from the lemon mines will allow me to eventually have enough money to buy the entire country of Romania. Ok men, I am about to go back in time. Wish me luck gentelmen.

**LT procedes to walk into the ADVANCED TIME PORTAL!!!! AKA: his shower stall. There is a flash of light and LT disappears**

RMG-Huh, well do you think we'll ever see him again?

RMG-Doubt it. So now what?

RMG-How about we assist Germany in loosing WWII and eventually become a communist satillite state?

RMG-Sounds good to me!


TO BE CONTINUED...................

 

[Klavo Hunter]

I don't think I've seen a save reload done with so much style before :rofl:

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

As the time portal sped through time, Lt noticed something had gone terribly wrong!

He had missed the exit completely and was now headed randomly through time!!!!!!

When the shower, Ah- I mean TIME MACHINE, stopped Lt found himself in a very familiar place.....


Lt-Huh this place feels kinda familar. It's almost like I'm in Hungary, but when it was.........................bigger.

Archduke-Welcome stranger, are you hoping to be saved by Austria-Hungary's utter greatness?!

LT-Uh, where am I? What year is it.

AD-Boy you sure must of partied hard last night. It's August 1914! We have just declared war on Serbia and will soon be invading and destroying the nation to bring them the wonder that is, our culture!

LT-Awwwwww crap! I was supposed to go to 1936. Well since I'm here mind if I rule your country? I am the leader of Hungary in THE FUTURE!!!!!!!

AD-Sorry I can't let you. This isn't Hearts of Iron 2, we are in Hearts of Iron 1 so if I did let you rule you'd have to go make a topic on the HoI AAR forum instead.

LT-Wait, Hearts of Iron? AAR? What are you talking about crazy man of the past?

AD-The AAR has you Lt Hilsdorf. Can you discover the truth? Go back in time and you will.

LT-OK, goodbye Archduke!

AD-Good luck Lt.

LT-Wait before I go I have one question. If World War I has already started, shouldn't you be...............dead?

AD-Huh, well I'll be- UHHHHAHAHDHDH!!!!!!!!!

And so as the Archduke died, Lt got back into the transport to find the truth about the AAR.........

TO BE CONTINUED.............

 

[Rapcw]

LOL that wacky Arch Duke.

 

[unmerged(24857)]

This is great AAR!

I especially like you picture style.

 

[unmerged(43564)]

lol

lol


Did you plann the attack well?






.

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

Thank you guys for posting. I was beginning to wonder if anyone else was actually reading this. Anyway here we go with YET ANOTHER UPDATE!!!!!!!!!


Lt took off in the time transport and as he did, he noticed something strange about the land.

He noticed that the land was made up of many different "provinces" and that there was some type of interface that showed various info about the country. On the way he also noticed the date was now in November but that was a paradox better left untold. Soon the time transport began to slow down and he was he was in yet another time period.


LT-Ok now where am I?

Francis von Habsburg-Greetings traveler from the future! I am the leader of Austria, Francis von Habsburg.

LT-Uh wait don't you mean Austria-HUNGARY?

FvH-Sorry but it's not a dual monarchy yet. Gotta wait awhile for that to happen. You might be able to edit the text files to make the TAG Austria Hungary though.

LT-Um the "tag"? Is this more weird talk like AAR and Hearts of Iron?

FvH-Sorry but this game is Europa Universalis II, avalible from the fine people who made Victoria and Hearts of Iron I AND II.

LT-But what does that mean!!!!!!!!! The Archduke of A-H told me to come to the past to "discover the truth behind the AAR".

FvH-OH ya he ment go into the FUTURE, not the past. That's where you will discover the truth.

LT-Um ok thanks. See ya.

Lt got back into the transport and took off again. As he did, he noticed that the landscape had changed again.

He didn't know what was going on, but as Lt went into the future he didn't have any idea what he would find once he got there.................

TO BE CONTINUED......as soon as I know what he will find.......

 

[elbasto]

He will find victoria, an empire under the sun, for sure.

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

Wow 3 updates in one day? Could it get any better?????


Lt had just traveled out of 1795 and was heading to sometime in the future, but he wasn't the only one doing some time travel....

After that close call Lt came to yet another strange world where the land had yet again changed as if to match with the time period.

As Lt left the transport he came across a familar person.

LT-Hey, is that who I think it is? Archduke, what's up man????

Archduke-WHOAAAAAAAAAAA, check it out Sophie, it's like, a dude of the Future!!!!one!!1111one!!!

LT-Um are you ok?

AD-Ya dude, I'm just a little drunk is all. All night kegger yesterday, I've been gettin ready for them to shoot "Archdukes gone Wild"! It's gonna be some crazy $%&#@#^@&*@# dude! Oh crap I hope they edit that out. I don't think the Paradox Forums allow swearing in them!

LT-Paradox Forums? What are they?

AD-Ah you must be the guy I gotta tell the secret to! Some guy told me that you need to go to the year 1956 in some place called the Sinai. There you will meet someone who will reveal to you what the truth of the AAR and all the other things is.

LT-1956? That's in..................the future.

AD-Well duh even I know that and I killed off most of my brain cells last night!

LT-Thanks Archduke. Oh and by the way, try not to vist Serbia in 1914 OK.

AD-Sure thing dude!

Lt then got back into the transport to go to the FUTURE!!!!!!!

AD-Wait, what did he say Sophie?

Sophie-I think he said 'Vist Serbia in 1914'.

AD-Sweet plan, I'll have to remember that. He is from the future after all.


Will Lt find out what the AAR is? Will the Archduke ever get his keg? Will I be modded for posting a picture of an Ale can? Find out later today when we reach the not conclusion of this crazy tale......

TO BE CONTINUED.............

 

[unmerged(24857)]

This AAR is getting better with each update!
Is Lt. going to eventually fight Skynet? What will happen in Hungary at the Judgement Day? Who was a mysterious shooter at the grassy knoll in Sarajevo?

 

[unmerged(37408)]

Hilarious, keep it up, i love the pics!

Go paintshop skills!

 

[Lt Hilsdorf]

hmmmmmmmmm 4 updates in one day? Look I've got nothin else to do OK plus I don't wanna forget my ideas so as soon as I think of one, I do an update. Ok here we go!!!!! By the way, glad you guys are enjoying it, cause I'm having fun writing it (even though there really isn't much in the way of HoI2 action going on, but that is going to change soon.......)

Sinai: July 1956

Lt Hilsdorf had just arrived in the wasteland desert of Egypt. As he walked around he saw something off in the distance. Was it the person he was looking for? Would be have the anwsers he needed? Here are actual pictures and the conversation that took place between Lt and the Mysterious person.

Lt-Who.................who are you?

Torgo-I am Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away.

Lt-Um ok well are you the man I'm looking for?

Torgo-Yes Lt. I have bad news to tell you. You've been living in a dream world. You are part of...............the AFTER ACTION REPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lt-AAR....? What is it Torgo?

Torgo-The AAR is what some people make after they have played a game made by the fine people at Paradox Entertainment. You're nothing but a charecter in some poor sap's idea of a story.

LT-You mean.......all those places were games?

Torgo-In the year 2005 Paradox released the game Hearts of Iron 2, a World War II grand strategy game. I'm afraid that the nation you have been leading was nothing more then a text file in the /db folder....

Lt-NO!!!!!!!!!! I won't believe it!!!!!

Torgo-There is only one thing you can do now LT. You must defeat the Architect, the leader of Paradox. If you can do that, then everything and everyone you know will become real.

Lt-Who is this person?

Torgo-His name is.......................JOHAN ANDERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lt-How do I defeat him? I must know because I wanna get back to ruling my nation, even if it is just a game.

Torgo-It will not be easy. He is well protected in his Swedish fortress, surrounded by 1000's of Paradox fanboys who would kill just to see a patch for "The Two Thrones". If you can defeat this army then you will have to duel Johan in a battle of fates. If you win, then the Matrix- AH, I mean your nation and world, will become real and free.........

Lt-Thank you Torgo. But why are you helping me? Why did you do this?

Torgo-Well mostly because the writter of the AAR wanted to get a "Manos": The Hands of Fate and Mystery Science Theater 3000 reference in his AAR. That and another "Matrix" reference too.

Lt-Will we ever mee again?

Torgo-Sorry but in 10 years or so I'm gonna star in the above mentioned movie and well...it's kinda bad from there.

Lt-Goodbye Torgo.

Lt got back in his time transporter to go to the year 1938......where Johan was cyrogenicly frozen in his SUPER SWEDISH FORTRESS OF DOOM!!!!

His plan was to take control of the nation Finland, invade Sweden and take the capital of Stockholm, where Paradox Entertainment would someday be built. If he did this, then his country would become free. Actually, I just realized that he would never exist since Paradox was never made but, uh, I've already written too much so just forget about it......

TO BE CONTINUED...........at 1 in the morning EST I bet.........

 

[elbasto]

Well, you could force Paradox to make the game anyway, so technically, you can still decide wether or not if HOI 2 is going to exists...

And you do have plenty of time...