The Journals of AARgau - Megacampaign, pt1

[Shackel]

Well, I'm going to try my luck at a Megacampaign. It probably won't end with me being a blob by HoI2, since I've played exactly 1 Crusader Kings game where I somewhat knew what I was doing(Marry sons to only daughters of big people), and I am rather bad at Victoria.

I can't cheat, and I will only try to inherit provinces surrounding my own.
--

-The Journal Is Found-

A Forest Northeast of Rombach
January 2nd, 2010, 2:00pm

"Petrus! I think I found something!" A pale child yelled with excitement, his blonde hair hanging down in front of his bright blue eyes. Only a few yards away from him, two historians rolled their eyes. The boy had been like this ever since his father, who was conveniently not there that day, had allowed him to come with them on a search for a medieval object that was said to be in the forest.

"What have you found, now, Aldo?" Petrus said, without a drop of enthusiasm in his voice. Aldo ran towards them, jumping and pointing towards where he was before.

"I went with him last time, so it's your turn." The second historian spoke, pushing Petrus forward. Petrus grumbled as Aldo tugged at his pants.

"It's too damn cold for this..." Petrus mumbled, shivering and rubbing his arms as he followed Aldo to where he "found something". He looked around, and only saw snow and trees. Aldo pointed at an exceptionally large tree that had fallen. Petrus frowned.

"You found a very old tree. Tha-"

"The branches! The branches!" Aldo exclaimed, interrupting Petrus. He ran over to one of the largest branches and waved his arms. Petrus only shook his head while he moved up to it.

"This better not be another..." He spotted something tied to one of the largest branches. It was a miracle that it survived so long. Petrus examined the object tied to the branch.

It was a book.

"My God, you did find something..." Petrus said, a wild grin spreading across his face. He dashed towards his partner, yelling and laughing more than Aldo was before. The second historian raised his eyebrow, his curiosity perked.

"Petrus, what is going on?" The historian asked, crossing his arms as his partner stopped in front of him, a grin still on his face.

"The boy really did find something, Scott!" Petrus said, excitedly.

"Well, the first thing we find in fifteen years is found by a child. That's definitely an ego booster." Scott replied with a sarcastic tone of voice. He lazily walked past Petrus, who pointed at the branch the book was tied to. Once the two got there, Scott cut the rope with a small knife.

"Careful..." Petrus said as he gently lifted the book up and looked at the cover. The words were faded, and the cover was torn, but the title was readable.

"Habsburgs?" Petrus spoke slowly.

"Someone probably put it there as a joke." Scott said, a suspicious look on his face. Petrus opened the book.

"Werner von Habsburg, 1066... Scott, if this thing is real, this will be the biggest discovery we've made! Think of what we can do! Think of all the history that will be cleared up! " Petrus exclaimed, closing the book.

"Let's go, then!" Aldo yelled. Scott sighed and nodded in agreement.

"If this is fake, you owe me money."

 

[Shackel]

Table of Contents

The Journal Is Found
Werner von Habsburg:1066-1072
Werner von Habsburg: 1072-1076
Oh Look, The Setting Changed
Captured

 

[Count Lake]

Good luck!

 

[Shackel]

@ Count Lake - Thanks!

Just a little note here: While this uses gameplay pictures, I try to use pictures that would have been documents, like the noble, the bishop, war and peace, etc.
--
May 15th, 2010
Petrus's Study, Rombach

"So, this thing is real..." Petrus said, the Habsburgs' journal upon a wooden table in front of him. Scott sulked in his chair, placed on the other side of the table. He had lost quite a bit of money.

"A journal passed down from generation to generation. Habsburgs, the old rulers of this place." Scott commented.

"Well, we have the book, and the Museum of Aarau will not be picking it up for a few weeks... We should read it while we wait."

"You must be joking, Petrus."

"I'm not. If we don't read it now, it may be months, maybe even years before we are able to read it."

"Exaggerations will get you nowhere." That remark allowed an awkward silence to fill the room, and for curiosity to fill Scott. The mix became too much to bear.

"Alright, let's look at it."
--

Werner von Habsburg: 1066-1072

December 26th, 1066: I have been forced to write a journal by my old bat of a wife. She claims that it will "give my children inspiration", "have my history heard", "allow the country to look back upon me" and "document my many victories". I didn't care about anything but the last bit. I tell you, "Journal", I will put my victories in here! The only problem is HOW I will get victories! My wife is, as previously stated, an old bat. I have two children, and only one heir. If I screw up, the blasted Lenzburgs will have my throne and my very empty land!

Long live the Habsburgs!


January 5th, 1067: Countries spite me with a Chancellor and Steward who must have dropped out of school.

At age 5.

My young heir is better than both of them!

March 10th, 1067: With new technology, we drained the marshes around our capital and the surrounding area. Not only do I have money, but now my land is even MORE empty! Hurray!

June 16th, 1067: The Pope sent us a document requesting that we receive a bishop. I cannot challenge the Pope... yet. This bishop is a strange one, though. He finds a way to be chaste without a relationship, but his Intrigue may say that he might have had a relationship, but it just didn't end well.

October 29th, 1068: We changed our laws of succession, and what happens? Alsace insults us over it, saying that no one uses those laws and that we are losers.

Well he can go stab himself! He better watch his throne, because we're after it too!

February 11th, 1069: Our son, who is exceptional in diplomacy, was sent to a monastery to learn the art of being calm and collected.

I wanted to enlist him in the army, but NOOOOO, Reginald wanted him to be a representative of "peace" and "love". Ugh...

April 1st, 1069: I tried time and time again to get my daughter into the army, but Reginald got them to say no. Alright, I'll just make her a better Spymaster than my own wife! We'll see who's laughing then! TO THE COURTS!

May 2nd, 1069: Apparently my courts are full of children after my little girl. Not even a month after I sent her to the courts, she asks me where babies come from! Of course I told her, but instead of become corrupted, she ended up using it to manipulate the court children.

I hope she doesn't become like Reginald.

May 7th, 1069: She tricked a leading tactician to join my court for me.

I love my daughter.

June 7th, 1069: I think something big might be happening to the East. I here of the Duchy of Swabia attempting to break free from the Holy Roman Kingdom of Germany, who has called for our assistance.

The only people who control my troops are myself, and my Tactician, who's name I forget.

June 28th, 1069: Swabia has allies within my Sphere of Influence(that no one accepts as true, bastards). Luckily for me, I was able to claim the throne of my neighbor, St. Gallen, and hopped into the Swabian War. I'm getting something out of this! WOO!

November 4th, 1069: I was nearly wounded in the battle of St. Gallen. Our troops had the tactical advantage, but we lost at least half of our army in the battle before St. Gallen capitulated. We brought up their troops, and began the defense of our land against Swabia.

February 27th, 1070: Swabia folds and recognizes our sphere of influence.

Alright, I lied. They just accepted that we own St. Gallen. Good enough. At the same time, Bescanon gave us a little fosterling named Raymond.

March 13th, 1071: Otto just loves to play with Raymond. Most likely because he hasn't had anyone to play with besides his sister... But he is a little deceitful... Hm...

February 26th, 1072: Raymond has taught my daughter Frankish etiquette. Is it me, or are five year olds smarter than usual?

 

[unmerged(59077)]

I like it when I see Swiss locations getting conquered by Hapsburgs. My only regret is that you can't really make central Europe as detailed as CK in EU3 when you map-edit due to provinces-per-area restrictions.

As advisors that are less smart than 5 year olds, well - that's what you get for starting in Aargau in the 11th c. Sounds about right; they probably practice statesmanship on the sheep.

Wait until you conquer some big place. Like Altdorf

 

[Shackel]

RGB - Where is that?

Werner von Habsburg, 1072-1076

August 30th, 1072: Even though we gained land, we lost reputation, and the Count of Bescanon noticed, and insulted us. I would normally claim their throne and wait for them to leave their protectors, but I forgave him, for Raymond is more important than vengeance at the moment. Forgiving can be fun, sometimes...

November 16th, 1072: Ancona and Aargau are now officially in an alliance. Mostly because everyone else is already paired up.

January 17th, 1073: Today's food cart brought us a little surprise from Swabia's count.

She's a cute, rowdy girl(according to Otto) named "Dorothea", and I am unsure exactly why she was sent here. She seems nice.

March 1st, 1073: Well, now I know why. When Otto said "rowdy", he made a major understatement. Ida was beating her in a chess game, and she ended up punching her in the face, calling her a cheater. The two may have developed a rather strong rivalry if I had not stepped in. They promptly stopped and made up.

March 11th, 1073: Their relationship is going much better than expected! Dorthea has taught Ida Swabian etiquette! I am a great relationship repairer! I heard them speaking about the throne of Swabia, too! They're already speaking of royalty!

October 31st, 1073: To help Dorothea learn how to be more diplomatic, I sent her to a monastery.

March 11th, 1074: I'm on a roll! Stability is rising due to my excellent rule!

October 11th, 1074: The roll continues! Ida and Dorthea are in fact getting closer! Only good can come of this!

December 26th, 1074: They started fighting, of course. However, I was able to calm them down, hopefully for good. In fact, I think Dorothea is starting to listen to me more.

December 27th, 1074: While I was enacting a law for our peasants to get free cattle, I overheard Dorthea confessing to Otto that she was sad that her father gave her off to another county. I was sad.

March 1st, 1075: Sad time over. A few days after I had left the two alone, I overheard Otto and Dorothea speaking of taking over the throne of the country of Valais. I thought it was a little game, but it was, in fact, reality. They joined up with Ida and actually claimed their throne. They then begged me for the land and, in fear of my own life, I folded.

I love my children.

June 3rd, 1075: I think Dorthea may actually have a little crush on Otto... How cute.

November 14th, 1076: Valais is ours. 80 men and 100 gold wasted. Not too bad, I suppose. However, Otto(now of age) and Dorothea are beginning to spend a lot more time together. A bit too much time... I don't like this... if Otto knows of her crush on him, he may be using her as a pawn...

May 12th, 1076: I was wrong...

OH, how I was wrong...

It is MUCH worse. I believe I have stumbled on a terrible plot...

I overheard Ida speaking to Dorothea about Swabia again, but this time it was about Dorothea's more favored brother, Leopold. Dorthea hates him since he is a spoiled brat. He's the one and only successor, so he gets everything. When he was born, Dorthea was forgotten about. At first she had the other daughters to play with, but they died.

I thought it was just a sad story, but then she started talking about how she deserved that power, and how she would do anything to have it. A little creepy, right?

It gets worse. Later, I found out the Dorothea(and Otto) was planning to give her power in Swabia.

How?

By getting her and Otto's son first in line for inheritance. But she's 10.

This is when things get a bit complicated.

Dorothea is going to get Ida to create an untraceable, unnoticeable poison and give it to Otto on the day Dorothea comes of age. Otto will travel with her to Swabia, where Dorthea will marry him. They plan to... consummate their marriage in Swabia, and once it is assured she is pregnant, eliminate Leopold. Otto's son will then be next in line for the throne.

How can a 9 year old's crush be so creepy?

More importantly, WHY AM I IMPRESS-

Wait a minute.

How can they do that without me approving everyt-

THOSE CHILDREN ARE GOING TO KILL ME! WHY AM I STILL IMPRESSED!

 

[unmerged(59077)]

These are like Lemony Snicket's Baudelaire kids but evil.

Altdorf - in the canton of Uri. It's a joke, it's not a big place at all.

 

[Shackel]

Coincedentally, Dorothea got the Personality Matures event before I left my house.

She's a monster. The game knows my thoughts, man.

 

[Shackel]

Ah, finally a new update!
--
Scott looked up from the book, and immediately noticed something very wrong.

"Where are our television and radio?" Scott said, glancing at where his television was. In place of it was a fireplace, and three swords. When he looked at the coffee table, it was not glass, but wood.

"Petrus, something's not right here." Scott said, fright crawling into his voice.

"You're right. How did we not notice this?" Petrus replied, confused as he stood up. They were in their old clothes, but everything else around them was something right out of the Middle Ages. Scott rushed to the window and looked outside. No skyscrapers, no straightened streets, and more importantly, there was no glass. The landscape was clear, and from the view, he was on a hill, overlooking a town almost covered in snow.

"I-I'm heading outside. I must find out where we are, and NOW!" Scott yelled, panicking and rushing outside the door, examining the area around him. Houses lined the streets, and kids were playing with sticks and snowballs. One of the kids, fell on to his face in front of him. As he got to his feet, his identity became obvious. The same blond hair, blue eyes, wide grin, and a face almost identical to his friend.

"Ah, you have me!" The kid said with a familiar voice, laughing. The voice made him unmistakable to Scott.

"Aldo, is that you?" The kid glanced at him once, then turned around.

"Scott?"

"What's going on? How did you get here? What are you doing?!" Scott's voice cracked as he yelled out his questions.

"I sneezed, and next thing I know, I'm in a different house that has nothing in it. I went outside to see what was there, and started playing 'Crusaders'!"

"... Crusaders?"

"Yeah! My new friends say that's what almost everyone in Aargau has been playing since the Pope called for the Second Crusade!" Aldo's reply was met with silence. Scott was on the ground, and had not moved when Petrus found him an hour later.

"Scott, wake up!" Petrus yelled, pulling the unconscious historian to his feet and shaking him until he awoke.

"That journal must be cursed by a heretic... I think it may have teleported us to the 1082, or, as it is known in Aargau, the beginning of the Age of War and Deception for Aargau..." Petrus explained.

"Of course it would put us here. So, now instead of reading about the events of the country, we have to live it?" Scott asked.

"If you ask me, I think there was a certain page that sent us here, so there must be a certain page that sen-" Petrus was cut off by the sound of galloping and yelling in the distance. The horse flew past them at breakneck speeds.

"The Count is dead! Werner von Habsburg has been killed in a hunting accident with his son!" The rider screamed at the top of his lungs, ensuring all around him heard his terrible news.

"The Age of War was started by Otto, after killing his father..." Scott mumbled.

"Enough with the history, we must find out what heretic cursed that book. If we don't, and the book doesn't take us back, we may die here." Petrus said with great urgency as an officer stopped next to them.

"Let's go, soldiers! We've received news that the Duke of our greatest rival, Alsace, has foolishly revolted from the Holy Roman Empire! Our new Count has decided this would be the time to strike them down!" The officer yelled. Petrus and Scott looked over at him before looking at each other.

"Don't just do nothing! We have enough of that with the Second Crusade!" The officer yelled again. When he got no response, he grabbed both Petrus and Scott's shoulders.

"I'm talking to you two!"

"Right, sir! Please excuse me, I am new!" Scott exclaimed, trying to go along with it.

"The armory is in the hill fort." The officer said, pointing at the castle up the hill. Scott and Petrus both began walking up the hill until Scott stopped a few yards away.

"Aldo! Get the journal!" Scott demanded, his patience and sanity being tested by this new turn of events.

"First we're tossed into 1082, now we're going to be tossed into the deadly, family-ending wars of Otto's reign? If I find the person who did this, I'm going to kill him-slash-her!" Scott said under his breath as he started running up the hill towards the castle.
--
I've decided to turn the journal-format into a narrative for Otto's reign, and maybe a little farther due to the constant wars and attempts at crusading. Otto is a vengeful, deceitful, zealous man.

 

[unmerged(59077)]

Time-travellers!

Misadventures are sure to follow. I can't wait until they meet the evil kid cabal.

 

[Junuxx]

I was lured here by the promise of a megacampaign in your sig!

Not very mega in length yet, but great and very enjoyable start

 

[Shackel]

I shall try to make it as "mega" as possible! Thank you for the comments. Using narrative will also allow me to update more regularly. I will have a few extra years of gameplay to use while I am at a different house.

 

[Emperor Ike]

Noooooooooo! Now i have to make my next CK AAR about the Finnic tribes.


Good luck with the Habs.

 

[GaiusC]

Altdorf - in the canton of Uri. It's a joke, it's not a big place at all.

Still, he might meet an annoying and rebellious crossbowman there around

 

[unmerged(59077)]

Still, he might meet an annoying and rebellious crossbowman there around

Damn. You're onto me!

Please don't forget to vote in the AARland Choice AwAARds! It's that time of year again!

 

[Shackel]

Noooooooooo! Now i have to make my next CK AAR about the Finnic tribes.


Good luck with the Habs.

I shall struggle to rule was was previously owned. I have a lot to do, but Crusader Otto and the Devil Child should help out.

Damn. You're onto me!

Please don't forget to vote in the AARland Choice AwAARds! It's that time of year again!

Excellent! I'll go vote for you.

 

[Shackel]

Quick switch!
--
The mountains outside Fort Sundgau, Alsace
Five months later, September

Petrus was freezing, Scott was freezing, The mountains were freezing, The ground was freezing, the fire was freezing, Hell was freezing, Heaven was freezing, Otto was freezing, Dorothea was burning hot.

Dorothea was alone in a tent meant for 10 made out of thick, high quality boar skins wearing a fur coat next to a fire three times the size of the ones outside which illuminated her elegant bed and chests. All from Otto. She wondered why he would give her so many presents and held her so high, and came to the conclusion that it was because she was just that great. Her almond brown hair that is the perfect length, her hazel eyes that were like orbs, her perfect body, her elegant, fancy speech, and not to mention her personality. With a smug smirk on her face, she removed her coat and was about to lie down when she spotted a shadow flash by the tent.

"Soldiers wouldn't be running around unless there was an attack, and I don't hear anyone out there..." Dorothea thought before cautiously poking her head out of her tent, seeing a bright blond-haired kid who must have been around the age of thirteen or fourteen watching the soldiers from behind a rock. Dorothea slipped out of the tent and was able to sneak up behind the boy.

"You there!" She hissed, grabbing the boy's shoulder.

"D-don't hurt me!" The boy pleaded, curling up at her touch.

"Why shouldn't I? You're a spy!"

"I'm not a spy!"

"That's what they all say, but they weren't saying it for long..." Dorothea said with a demonic smirk.

"I'm not a spyyyy!" The boy whined, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes as he saw Dorothea taking out a rope, the smirk still on her face. The boy struggled, but Dorothea had him tied up before he could run. She dragged him inside with him wiggling and crying.

"Don't make me gag you! Stop your crying!" Dorothea commanded. The boy nodded, tears still streaming down his face as Dorothea started going through his clothes, finding an old book on him and leaving the boy cold and in his underwear with his shirt over his head.

"Ah, so you're trying to record our positions... 'not a spy', hm?" Dorothea mocked with a smug grin, flipping through the pages. The grin soon faded and her eyes widened.

"Wh-wha- This is Otto's journal!" Dorothea said in surprise, flipping further and further.

"N-no... This isn't Otto's journal... This is old, faded, and speaks of things not to come..." She continued. Dorothea looked up at the boy.

"What kind of black magic is this!" She yelled, panicking as a soldier opened the flap of the tent. She hid the book behind her back as the soldier looked at the two.

"Another one, Dorothea?" The soldier asked in disbelief before turning to leave. The boy was stunned.

"D-did he say 'Dorothea'?" The boy asked, scared and worried.

"Of course? How can you not know me? I'm only the most beautiful girl in all of Germany..." Dorothea said, sounding as if she was offended as she brushed her hair aside with her hand.

"Maybe there is a way out of this... Otto, you better not be exaggerating about her..." The boy thought.

"Yes, you truly are a goddess... Your hair is like silk, and your eyes, they are like hazel orbs. Yes, you are truly the most beautiful girl I have ever met..." The boy said in the best dreamy voice he could fake. Dorothea blushed.

"Oh, why thank you... It is as if you read my thoughts..." She said, smiling.

"Thank you, Otto!" The boy thought, smiling back.

"Hm, I think I may keep you... You just might serve as a good assistant..." Dorothea said, leaning down and moving her hand down his face.

"Aw come on, Otto!" He thought, trying his best not to shudder.

"What is your name, boy?" Dorothea asked, sitting down on one of her chests and smiling.

"A-Aldo..."

"Hm, a nice name. You won't be suspected, either..." Dorothea mumbled the last part to herself, looking down and examining her.

"Can you untie me, please?" Aldo asked. Dorothea laughed.

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't trust you." Dorothea said, getting up and opening the chest she was sitting on. She dug through the items inside, one of which fell out of the chest.

"Jeans?" Aldo said in surprise. Dorothea froze for a second before snatching it up and quickly shoving it back inside the chest.

"W-what are you talking about? What are 'jeans'?" Dorothea asked quickly, nervously laughing. Her elegance and accent quickly shattered with that sentence. Aldo was silent.

Hell just got a little bit colder.

 

[unmerged(59077)]

Ah, she's captured Aldo or Scott?

And is she a time-traveler, or did she steal the other boy's jeans?

 

[Shackel]

Yes, she captured Aldo.

Also, good news! I am able to stay at my "main" house for much longer, allowing me to get much farther in the game, giving me more material to write with.

 

[Enewald]

Ha, only something obnoxious can come out of this. :rofl: