So, here's my debut AAR. I considered all sorts of things, but decided that there could be nothing better than playing as the most metal country on earth and uniting the greatest places of metal.
As a warning, this AAR is incredibly ahistorical and will feature electric guitars and such things long before their invention. It will also features dragons, pagan gods, and quite possibly trolls. In all honesty, if it exists in metal, it is quite possible that it exists in this AAR. As such, the result will be very silly.
It will also possibly include incredibly graphic violence, profanity, unashamed references to metal bands and culture, and quite possibly sexual situations. Why? Because all that's brutal.
The North was a wasteland.
Or so it seemed to those in the South. They feared the north. They feared the cold, unforgiving land that had been home to the Vikings long ago. They feared dangers both real and fake. Legends of trolls, of dwarves, of giants came from Scandinavia, but also there were legends of heroes and those who battled these monsters.
The most important legends, however, were the legends of the song. An ancient power greater than Odin or any of the Gods. The song was a tradition greater than any in Scandinavia, remembered by the old ones. The song demanded honor and glory through battle. The song demanded the tradition of Viking Lords to continue. The song had for too long been abandoned, and so the song sent their prophets.
Their names were Caeg and Gabel, and they wielded the horn of a demon. They appeared too many in Scandinavia preaching the song—or as they called it, The Metal. They were seeking the true king of Sweden—a man descended from a god and one whose decendents would become like gods. It was in the most northern reaches of the country that they found him. His name was Hakan, and he was already partially in tune with the song.
Caeg looked at Gabel, and Gabel looked at Caeg. They had found him.
And so Caeg and Gabel taught Hakan. Over a period of five years, they taught him how to be a King of Metal. They taught him how to play the guitar, how to growl, and how to headbang. They taught him how to slay trolls and dragons. They even taught him the greatest secrets of The Metal: cock-pushups and the power slide.
At last, Hakan was ready. He was to become the king of Sweden, and one day, all of Scandinavia. The future of the song depended on it.
There was much work to do, though. All of Scandinavia was held by the King Eric VII Gryf of Denmark, a foolish man who had long forgotten what it meant to be a Viking. Caeg and Gabel told Hakan that this man had to first be defeated, and then Sweden could fulfill its destiny. The seeds of change planted, Caeg and Gabel left. Prophets of the song had much to do, Gabel said, but they would return to Scandinavia.
“Remember, Hakan. Nothing can stop The Metal. The Metal will live on.” Gabel said before setting out on the longboat with his fellow prophet.
And thusly, the prophets departed. Hakan looked about him and saw that he had been left with nothing but his guitar and a voice trained by the prophets of the song.
It was all he would need.
As a warning, this AAR is incredibly ahistorical and will feature electric guitars and such things long before their invention. It will also features dragons, pagan gods, and quite possibly trolls. In all honesty, if it exists in metal, it is quite possible that it exists in this AAR. As such, the result will be very silly.
It will also possibly include incredibly graphic violence, profanity, unashamed references to metal bands and culture, and quite possibly sexual situations. Why? Because all that's brutal.
The Metal AAR
Prologue: The Prophets
Prologue: The Prophets
The North was a wasteland.
Or so it seemed to those in the South. They feared the north. They feared the cold, unforgiving land that had been home to the Vikings long ago. They feared dangers both real and fake. Legends of trolls, of dwarves, of giants came from Scandinavia, but also there were legends of heroes and those who battled these monsters.
The most important legends, however, were the legends of the song. An ancient power greater than Odin or any of the Gods. The song was a tradition greater than any in Scandinavia, remembered by the old ones. The song demanded honor and glory through battle. The song demanded the tradition of Viking Lords to continue. The song had for too long been abandoned, and so the song sent their prophets.
Their names were Caeg and Gabel, and they wielded the horn of a demon. They appeared too many in Scandinavia preaching the song—or as they called it, The Metal. They were seeking the true king of Sweden—a man descended from a god and one whose decendents would become like gods. It was in the most northern reaches of the country that they found him. His name was Hakan, and he was already partially in tune with the song.
Caeg looked at Gabel, and Gabel looked at Caeg. They had found him.
And so Caeg and Gabel taught Hakan. Over a period of five years, they taught him how to be a King of Metal. They taught him how to play the guitar, how to growl, and how to headbang. They taught him how to slay trolls and dragons. They even taught him the greatest secrets of The Metal: cock-pushups and the power slide.
At last, Hakan was ready. He was to become the king of Sweden, and one day, all of Scandinavia. The future of the song depended on it.
There was much work to do, though. All of Scandinavia was held by the King Eric VII Gryf of Denmark, a foolish man who had long forgotten what it meant to be a Viking. Caeg and Gabel told Hakan that this man had to first be defeated, and then Sweden could fulfill its destiny. The seeds of change planted, Caeg and Gabel left. Prophets of the song had much to do, Gabel said, but they would return to Scandinavia.
“Remember, Hakan. Nothing can stop The Metal. The Metal will live on.” Gabel said before setting out on the longboat with his fellow prophet.
And thusly, the prophets departed. Hakan looked about him and saw that he had been left with nothing but his guitar and a voice trained by the prophets of the song.
It was all he would need.
