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It is like Monty Python, only a certain breed of people like it.Zuckergußgebäck said:
Potsdam Palace, Berlin, Probably someplace in Germany, February 20, 1916
KW: It seems that someone is running very low on images of Potsdam...
Construction workers: Sorry sir, we´re doing our best.
KW: Who made those men construction workers?
VH: Please Willy! That spaceballs phrase is soooooo old.
KW: Please don´t call me Willy, you are embarrasing the emperor of Austria-Hungary!
FJ: Snigger... Willy... Snigger...
VH: Sorry Willy, didn´t mean to, honest!
KW: GRAAAAH!
FJ: You know Willy, your general here seems a bit... odd?
KW: In what way?
FJ: Well, first of all, he has a very large head. Secondly, he is made of iron.
KW: Ah, yes. There are several good reasons for that: First of all, he looks funny. Secondly, he constitutes a major breakthrough in our bid to get more soldiers. Thirdly, he looks funny. Fourthly, he is what we call 'The iron Hindenburg of Berlin'. And lastly, he looks really funny!
FJ: Are there even such a word as fourthly?
KW: I am the emperor of Germany, I just invented it! By the way, did I mention that he looks really funny, all dressed up like that?
FJ: Yes, I think you did.
(Thunder is heard and dark clouds assemble in the sky)
KW: Well, it seems that it is going to start raining
FJ: I´ll be damned. Got erhalte Kanz den Fraiser, or whatever our national anthem is, it seems that you are right!
(The torrential downpour starts)
VH: AARGH!
KW: What is it, general?
VH: Rust! I have rust in my underpants!
KW: It seems that someone is running very low on images of Potsdam...
Construction workers: Sorry sir, we´re doing our best.
KW: Who made those men construction workers?
VH: Please Willy! That spaceballs phrase is soooooo old.
KW: Please don´t call me Willy, you are embarrasing the emperor of Austria-Hungary!
FJ: Snigger... Willy... Snigger...
VH: Sorry Willy, didn´t mean to, honest!
KW: GRAAAAH!
FJ: You know Willy, your general here seems a bit... odd?
KW: In what way?
FJ: Well, first of all, he has a very large head. Secondly, he is made of iron.
KW: Ah, yes. There are several good reasons for that: First of all, he looks funny. Secondly, he constitutes a major breakthrough in our bid to get more soldiers. Thirdly, he looks funny. Fourthly, he is what we call 'The iron Hindenburg of Berlin'. And lastly, he looks really funny!
FJ: Are there even such a word as fourthly?
KW: I am the emperor of Germany, I just invented it! By the way, did I mention that he looks really funny, all dressed up like that?
FJ: Yes, I think you did.
(Thunder is heard and dark clouds assemble in the sky)
KW: Well, it seems that it is going to start raining
FJ: I´ll be damned. Got erhalte Kanz den Fraiser, or whatever our national anthem is, it seems that you are right!
(The torrential downpour starts)
VH: AARGH!
KW: What is it, general?
VH: Rust! I have rust in my underpants!
But I like spaceball quotes!
Good update, but the pictures are running thin aren't they?
Good update, but the pictures are running thin aren't they?
Vladivostok, 24th February 1916
TN: So, Raspie, it seems that our military doctrine is working flawlessly, isn´t it?
R: Indeed Nicky, our brave forces are advancing under the ferocious battlecry "GERMANS! RUN LIKE HELL!"
TN: We are advancing?
R: Well, we are... eastwards, that is.
TN: Good point there, Raspie. I shall remember that on the next human resources meeting.
R: However, there has been some worrying development, ten days ago, we actually won two battles!
TN: GASP! How can this be? This overturns our entire strategy!
R: Strategy?
TN: Well, we call it that, anyway.
[thoughtful silence]
R: So, what do we expect to do?
TN: There is but one thing to do...
R: Well?
TN: I better take command of our army to ensure our continued retreat eastwards.
R: Jolly! You see, the Tannu tuvan-based composeintern in cooperation with de Gaulle Charles has composed another great piece of music in preparation of this contingency.
TN: It seems that you have thought of everything and made deap-going preparations.
R: It´s a one time occurance, I swear!
TN: Are you really sure about this?
R: Naturally, it will inspire our troops to run faster.
TN: Who made the part about women´s clothes?
R: De Gaulle Charles, of course. He is french after all.
TN: Good point.
TN: So, Raspie, it seems that our military doctrine is working flawlessly, isn´t it?
R: Indeed Nicky, our brave forces are advancing under the ferocious battlecry "GERMANS! RUN LIKE HELL!"
TN: We are advancing?
R: Well, we are... eastwards, that is.
TN: Good point there, Raspie. I shall remember that on the next human resources meeting.
R: However, there has been some worrying development, ten days ago, we actually won two battles!
TN: GASP! How can this be? This overturns our entire strategy!
R: Strategy?
TN: Well, we call it that, anyway.
[thoughtful silence]
R: So, what do we expect to do?
TN: There is but one thing to do...
R: Well?
TN: I better take command of our army to ensure our continued retreat eastwards.
R: Jolly! You see, the Tannu tuvan-based composeintern in cooperation with de Gaulle Charles has composed another great piece of music in preparation of this contingency.
TN: It seems that you have thought of everything and made deap-going preparations.
R: It´s a one time occurance, I swear!
TN: Are you really sure about this?
R: Naturally, it will inspire our troops to run faster.
TN: Who made the part about women´s clothes?
R: De Gaulle Charles, of course. He is french after all.
TN: Good point.
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:rofl: :rofl:
Very good, but it seems this AAR has very little to do with Sweden...
Nice to see an update!
Very good, but it seems this AAR has very little to do with Sweden...
Nice to see an update!
The heart is beating, yes; but it will take some hard work to get it back on its feet... (this is your cue, Zucker)Lurken said:
The former royal palace of Stockholm (now sold to the Very Big Corporation of America), March 2, 1916
GV: Awfully nice of those american chappies to let us keep living in the palace.
The Nose: Indeed, although I would like them to stop stocking coal here. Have you guys got any idea on the effects of coal dust on the lungs?
BTA: I quite like it.
GV: That´s because you are odd.
BTA: Indeed! Can I have some mustard, please?
[pause, just for the hell of it]
GV: Soooo... exactly why are we here today?
KS: Good point, I mean, this update wouldn´t exist unless there was some important world event that the readers ought to know about.
BTA: So, is there?
BiB: No.
BTA: Quiet, you!
BiB: Sorry.
BTA: Don´t be sorry, be quiet!
BiB: Sorry.
BTA: ...
GV: So, can we have that event, please. I´m getting bored.
ZgB: Uh?
GV: Hurry up, would you. I am late for my sponge bath!
BTA, KS, BiB, The Nose:
GV: Errrrr...o
ZgB: Oh, right.
(...)
GV: The spy, the diplomat's mistress, 200 mules and some anthrax-laced sugar lumps?
BTA: Mmmmmh... Anthrax-laced sugar lumps...
GV: Mules...
GV: Remember, I didn´t say that!o
GV: Awfully nice of those american chappies to let us keep living in the palace.
The Nose: Indeed, although I would like them to stop stocking coal here. Have you guys got any idea on the effects of coal dust on the lungs?
BTA: I quite like it.
GV: That´s because you are odd.
BTA: Indeed! Can I have some mustard, please?
[pause, just for the hell of it]
GV: Soooo... exactly why are we here today?
KS: Good point, I mean, this update wouldn´t exist unless there was some important world event that the readers ought to know about.
BTA: So, is there?
BiB: No.
BTA: Quiet, you!
BiB: Sorry.
BTA: Don´t be sorry, be quiet!
BiB: Sorry.
BTA: ...
GV: So, can we have that event, please. I´m getting bored.
ZgB: Uh?
GV: Hurry up, would you. I am late for my sponge bath!
BTA, KS, BiB, The Nose:
GV: Errrrr...
o ZgB: Oh, right.
(...)
GV: The spy, the diplomat's mistress, 200 mules and some anthrax-laced sugar lumps?
BTA: Mmmmmh... Anthrax-laced sugar lumps...
GV: Mules...
GV: Remember, I didn´t say that!
o
I forgot who all the names were, could you please post a key? o
Good to see you still swinging.
o Good to see you still swinging.
SWEDEN
GV: Gustav V, King of Sweden and chief of staff
KS: Karl Staaf, PM (now dead from forstbite, but resurrected)
CAE: Count Albert Ehrensvärd junior, Foreign minister
BTA: Baron Theodore Adelswärd, armaments minister
AS: Axel Schotte, Minister of security
JL: Jacob Larsson, chief of army
DB: David Bergström, chief of navy
The Nose: A nose brought back by Karl Staaf from the realm of the dead.
GERMANY
KW: Kaiser Wilhelm II, emperor of germany
VH: Von Hindenburg. German general. Wants germany to lose the war so that he can be president of Weimar germany until 1933.
L: Ludendorff. German general. Buddy of Von Hindenburg
Construction workers: Construction workers
AUSTRIA-HUNGARY
FJ: Franz-Joseph, their aging emperor. Fond of Wienernougate.
RUSSIA
TN: Tsar Nicholas II. Concerned over un-english spelling of his name. Very fond of russian tea (one drop of tea, the rets vodka). Goes mad from time to time.
R: Rasputin. Known as "Little Man" to Nicholas when he (the czar) is mad, he is slightly less fond of russian tea. Bestowed with great mystical powers, such as making tea pots hover
The Empress: Somewhat in the sidelines
The Russian People: Discontent, but secure in their knowledge that the czar is mad.
The batallion of death: Now known as the locomotive-drivers of death. Early prototype for Village People.
RUSSIA/FRANCE
DGC: De Gaulle Charles, french liason officer and "Minister for Saving the Czar", since no one else will.
OTTOMAN EMPIRE
S: Sultan. Fond of long and colofully adorned sentances with long allegories, far-fetched as the myrrh of Arabia.
GV: Gustav V, King of Sweden and chief of staff
KS: Karl Staaf, PM (now dead from forstbite, but resurrected)
CAE: Count Albert Ehrensvärd junior, Foreign minister
BTA: Baron Theodore Adelswärd, armaments minister
AS: Axel Schotte, Minister of security
JL: Jacob Larsson, chief of army
DB: David Bergström, chief of navy
The Nose: A nose brought back by Karl Staaf from the realm of the dead.
GERMANY
KW: Kaiser Wilhelm II, emperor of germany
VH: Von Hindenburg. German general. Wants germany to lose the war so that he can be president of Weimar germany until 1933.
L: Ludendorff. German general. Buddy of Von Hindenburg
Construction workers: Construction workers
AUSTRIA-HUNGARY
FJ: Franz-Joseph, their aging emperor. Fond of Wienernougate.
RUSSIA
TN: Tsar Nicholas II. Concerned over un-english spelling of his name. Very fond of russian tea (one drop of tea, the rets vodka). Goes mad from time to time.
R: Rasputin. Known as "Little Man" to Nicholas when he (the czar) is mad, he is slightly less fond of russian tea. Bestowed with great mystical powers, such as making tea pots hover
The Empress: Somewhat in the sidelines
The Russian People: Discontent, but secure in their knowledge that the czar is mad.
The batallion of death: Now known as the locomotive-drivers of death. Early prototype for Village People.
RUSSIA/FRANCE
DGC: De Gaulle Charles, french liason officer and "Minister for Saving the Czar", since no one else will.
OTTOMAN EMPIRE
S: Sultan. Fond of long and colofully adorned sentances with long allegories, far-fetched as the myrrh of Arabia.
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GOOD AAR WOOHOO ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE? I WILL NOW RANDOMLY SAY RANDOM THINGS:
ROFL WTF LMAO BBQ BMX BRB LOL AHA HAH CYA DDD BYE BYE :rofl:
ROFL WTF LMAO BBQ BMX BRB LOL AHA HAH CYA DDD BYE BYE :rofl:
Yeah, we cucumber faithful get an update about once a month. If is usually a good fix and lasts as a while. Zucker brings the good stuff, strait from the Swedish cartel. :rofl:Yoy21 said:
March 10, 1916, Berlin
KW: I´ve got a baaaaaad feeling about this...
L: You do?
KW: I do
L: OK, you may now kiss the bride
KW: That was completely unnecessary
L: Oh, kiss me now Willy!
KW: I TOLD YOU NOT TO REFER TO ME AS WILLY!
L: Right... Willy!
KW: Gngngngngngngn...
[Phone rings]
L: We have a phone?
KW: Indeed, it´s my special hotline.
L: Phone sex?
KW: If only... *sigh*
L:
[...]
L: Well, aren´t you going to answer it?
KW: Well, I am the kaiser and you are my evil henchman.
L: So it is
KW: And..?
L: Oh, right...
L: Hello. Imperial palace in Berlin, this is Ludendorrf speaking. Can I help you?
L: ...
L: You said what?
L: ...
L: But I don´t want any car bumpers
L: ...
L: And no supplementary pension either!
L: ...
L: A-ha!
L: Willy, that was the american president, there´s something fishy going on in New Mexico!
KW: Quick! To the Wagnermobile!
COLUMBUS, NEW MEXICO
KW: A-ha! Pancho Villa! I knew you were up to something fishy!
Panco Villa: Damn! Wagnerman! Errrr... I´m off!
KW: Get him, Wagnerboy!
L: STORMTROOPER ATTACK!
Pancho Villa: Argh! It burnsssssssssss!
KW: And good triumphs over evil yet another time.
Pancho Villa: I´ll get you next time!
KW: Fat chance
L: And how
KW: Be quiet, wagnerboy. Wagnerman should always have the last line!
KW: I´ve got a baaaaaad feeling about this...
L: You do?
KW: I do
L: OK, you may now kiss the bride
KW: That was completely unnecessary
L: Oh, kiss me now Willy!
KW: I TOLD YOU NOT TO REFER TO ME AS WILLY!
L: Right... Willy!
KW: Gngngngngngngn...
[Phone rings]
L: We have a phone?
KW: Indeed, it´s my special hotline.
L: Phone sex?
KW: If only... *sigh*
L:
[...]
L: Well, aren´t you going to answer it?
KW: Well, I am the kaiser and you are my evil henchman.
L: So it is
KW: And..?
L: Oh, right...
L: Hello. Imperial palace in Berlin, this is Ludendorrf speaking. Can I help you?
L: ...
L: You said what?
L: ...
L: But I don´t want any car bumpers
L: ...
L: And no supplementary pension either!
L: ...
L: A-ha!
L: Willy, that was the american president, there´s something fishy going on in New Mexico!
KW: Quick! To the Wagnermobile!
COLUMBUS, NEW MEXICO
KW: A-ha! Pancho Villa! I knew you were up to something fishy!
Panco Villa: Damn! Wagnerman! Errrr... I´m off!
KW: Get him, Wagnerboy!
L: STORMTROOPER ATTACK!
Pancho Villa: Argh! It burnsssssssssss!
KW: And good triumphs over evil yet another time.
Pancho Villa: I´ll get you next time!
KW: Fat chance
L: And how
KW: Be quiet, wagnerboy. Wagnerman should always have the last line!