The tale of the cucumber-land - Sweden

[Zuckergußgebäck]

This is my first "funny" AAR, it´s the same settings as "The world is not enough"

ENJOY!
Oh, I nearly forgot the cast:
PAH= Per Albin Hansson, head of government
GV= Gustav V, head of state
APB= Axel Pehrson Brahmstorp, the new head of government
EW= Ernst Wigfors, Armaments minister
RS, Richard sandler, foreign minister

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

three discoveries and one election...

1936

1st of january, Harpsund

PAH: oooooooh, my head, I shouldn´t have drunk that much champagne last night.
GV: I warned you, I thought that you stood above such, such bourgoise things.
PAH: Never mind, just give me a aspirin then
GV: A what?
PAH: aspirin!
GV: Oh, we haven´t invented that yet.
PAH: WHAT? Start all research projects, there must be something that will lead to aspirin.
GV: How about “Peniciline, DDT and Mepacadrine”?
PAH: Sounds good, what does it do?
GV: Enables frontline medical station.
PAH: WHAT! I only asked for an asiprin and now you come talking about frontline medical stations!

March the third

PAH: So, richard, what has happened?
RS: Well, Per, something strange is happening over in China, appaently the nationalists descided that they would ally with the commies in something they call the Sian incident.
PAH: What is the sian incident?
GV(half asleep): Jean, there has never been any incident with Jean mmmmh, z-z-z-z-z

Five days later

PAH: Seems that the germans are back in the Rhineland...
GV(Still half asleep): Whineland, mmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z
RS: Yes, it seems that they wanted to get some strudelbakeries back
GV: Strudel, mmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z

April 2

EW: Good news! We have invented the anti-tak rifle!
PAH: Oh really (Groan), how does it work?
EW: Well, you push the trigger here and...
BOOOOOM!
RS: Looks like we need a new armaments minister.
GV: Creme de ment-minister mmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

May 24

PAH: Those social democrats! They want to rule everything! They are revolters, they are, are, are... revolting!
Aide: bssssssss (whispers in PAHs ear)
PAH: What! Am I a social democrat? I thought that I was a pro-rojalist?

The next day

Of course the right side won the elections but it was a narrow escape, after PAH´s speech the social democrats popularity soared.
Aide: No, mr Brahmstorp, there is no such thing as right wing radical.
APB: But what are we then?

The aide quickly puched the diplomacy button and clicked on Malmö

Aide: We are centrist
APB: Damn, there must be something we can do, can we make a suggestion to C.O.R.E?
Aide: What?
APB: Just forget it

July 8

APB: Look, ther rolls the första pansardivisionen* from the assembly line, what beauty, what finess, it´stop of the pops!
Aide: Ummm, that´s the assembly line for wheelbarrows, there is the tanks.
APB: Oh... By the way, what is that little star doing after the name?
Aide: Nobody knows, ask the Paradox entertainmet programmers
APB: The what?

July 18

RS: Well, brahmstorp, there is some strrrraaaaange goings on in spain for the moment
APB: Really? What?
RS:Those spaniards have divided themselves up in two camps, the republicans and the nationalists.
APB: Ooooooh, do they have those little nice cosy campfires you rast marchmelllows over?
GV: Marchmellows, mmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z
RS: No.
APB: Sausages then?
RS: No, ther is a civil war going on.
APB: Here? Where, it can not be... everywhere.
RS: Groan, no, in Spain

July 19

RS: Ther is even more strange things coming out of Spain look here sir!

Germany went with Send materiel and volunteers in Spanish Civil War - Intervention."
Soviet Union went with Send materiel and volunteers in Spanish Civil War - Intervention."
France went with Why support anarchist rabble? in Spanish Civil War - Intervention."
Italy went with Send materiel and volunteers in Spanish Civil War - Intervention."
United Kingdom went with Why support anarchist rabble? in Spanish Civil War - Intervention."
Nationalist Spain had Spanish Civil War - German Intervention ."
USA had Spanish Civil War - German Intervention ."
Republican Spain had Spanish Civil War - Soviet Intervention ."
USA had Spanish Civil War - Soviet Intervention ."
Nationalist Spain had Spanish Civil War - Italian Intervention ."
USA had Spanish Civil War - Italian Intervention ."

APB: My god with brightly polished brass knobs on! What a lot of information!
GV: Brass knobs, mmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z

September 6

EW: Good news sir, we have developed early gear, look hear.
APB: Wait! I thought that you were dead.
EW: I am strong in the force, now you push here, pull this lever and...
FIVE HOURS LATER
...turns the little valve and you are ready to actually begin using the gear, to use it you must...
APB: NO!!!!!

November 9

EW: Hello, we have invented early suspension!
APB: Were is it?
EW: It´s here in the air, can´t you feel the suspence?
GV: Sauce-pence mmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z

December 8

WWWWWROOOOOM!
HONK; HONK; HONK!
NEEEEOW!
KRASH!

APB: so much for första flygflottiljen…

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Lots of techs and some tin openers...

1937

January 11

EW: Look! We have got a basic engine.
APB: Not now, I think I have a headache coming up, hows the aspirin research project coming on?
EW: Very nice indeed, now, to start the engine, I just push this button and...
BOOOOOOM!
EW: Hmmm, perhaps it needs a little more tinkering...

January 22

RS: So that scientist arrived here yesterday, claiming that he had fled from his country because he was a political dissident.
APB: Why would someone want to flee to sweden? It´s so dark here.
RS: Remove the sock from your head and you will se better...
APB: Great, I see much better now, anyway, what alignment did his former homecountry have?
RS: It was a fascist leftwing-liberal democratic country with conservative opinions
APB: Hum-di-dum-dum-dum-di-dum-hum...
RS: Sir, why are you singing the melody to that honey eating bear winnie the pooh?
GV: Honey, mmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

January 25

APB: Looks like the första hemvärnsdivisionen* is ready for deployment, and it still has that annoying little star at the end.
RS: Where are they going sir?
APB: To Visby
RS: How will we get them there?
APB: They will march along the seabed
RS: Wont they drown?
APB: No this is strong stuff
GV: Stong stuff mmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

February 16

EW: Look, improved infantry weapons!
APB: How are they improved?
EW: They have little figures of superman on them
APB: Superman, sounds social democratic...
EW: They also allows us to produce these sub machine guns.
APB: Does that mean that they are guns under a machine?
EW: Dont know
APB: Well, we´ll give it a try, perhaps it leads to aspirin...

March 2

RS: Sir, there ar...
APB: Yes Richard, where are the strange going ons now then?
RS: In russia, they have started killing their own officers
APB: Sounds stupid
RS: Indeed, will we do the same?
APB: Certainly not! We´ll leave that to the social democrats!

March 10

Brahmstorp is riding his horse when he almost runs over another person
APB: You D**n Social democrat! In this country we drive on the left side of the road!
EW: I know that!
APB: What are you doing here?
EW: I have come to tell you that the 1. Kavalleridivisionen is ready for deployment, but they are one horse short, hereby I commandeer that horse, it will be used in the war effort...
APB: But we are not at war!
EW: What? Never mind, we need that hore anyway.
APB: No! Not old Brunte!

April 29

EW: The coastal fortifications in Visby is complete!
APF: Have we begun to build forts there, of all places?
EW: Yepp, want to see them?
APB: I suppose that it can´t hurt.
VISBY
A concrete pillar toppled ontop of Brahmstorp
APB: OUCH! That hurt.

May 6

Early halftrack troop carrier: Brooooom!
EW: And now, lets take the turn on two weels, or one wheel and one pair of caterpillars, yee haw!
RS: Can I get of now?
EW: No way!
CRASH!
RS: Oh my god! You just destroyed Brahmstorps earth closet.

May 8

Soldiers: Hepp, hepp, hepp, hepp, hepp, hepp hepp...
APB: Another infantry division deployed, meanwhile, I have put minister of security Helge Jung on a mision.
EW: What sort of a mission?
APB: When I woke up this morning, my earth closet was gone and the only thing left was the tracks of a early halftrack troop carrier...
The two men looked nervously at each other...

May 29

EW: Look what I´ve got! A basic sub machine gun!
APB: What, no aspirin? Oh well, how does it work?
EW: Well you push this trigger...
RATATATATATATA
EW: Oh my god, this thing spreads death! We must conduct further tests...
APB: I thought that it was designed to spread death.
EW: Oh really?
APB: Yes
Ernst hugged the head of guvernment
EW: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! You saved my day!

June 2

RS: Looks like the soviets continued to purge their traitors
APB: Does anyone know why?
RS: No, personally, I think it is stalins mother, she´s such a bad influence...

August 30

EW: Come back here!
The funny looking gadget Ernst had brought to Harpsund was running all around the place
APB: Ernst, what is that?
EW: A moving target indicator

October 23

APB: So this is the tactical bombers of 2. flygflottiljen, look odd.
EW: Indeed, they are designed to break the enemy organisation by makng them laugh.
APB: And they work?
EW: Oh yes, boys run the show!
Some technicians rushed forward and activated some hidden grammophones
Grammophones: Have ypu heard the one about the man who...
APB: YEEEEEEEES!
EW: Hmmmm, might still need some tinkering...

November 2

RS: And still they purge...
APB: Have they got some officers left to purge?
RS: Yes, but to get up to their daily quote the had to purge some bananas...
APB: WHAT! Not pears? This is a crime against humanity!

December 7

Torch: fffffffoch!
EW: There, I have finished my welded armour, doesn´t it look beautiful?
RS: No
APB: Why have you put yourself into a giant can of spam with holes for arms, legs and head?
EW: This isn´t a can of spam! It´s welded armour, unfortunately I can´t move, back to the planning stage...
APB: Bye...
EW: Wait, you haven´t something like a two meter tin opener?

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Please tell me what you think of this AAR, that way I should be able to make better AARs in the future

 

[Lurken]

Weird....

 

[unmerged(18893)]

LoL, true.

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Two magazines and one scandal...

1938

January 14

Brahmstorp whas reading playboy at his desk when a small man entered, the man looked suspicious and darted from cover to cover.
APB: What are you doing, lurking like that?
Lurken: Thats my job, i am lurken after all
APB: OK, what are you doing here?
L: I´ve come to give you all my factories
APB: Why?
L: It was something about “Private initiative boosts production”
GV: Private intitative booze production mmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z
APB: OK, you may go now, please come again...

March 19

RS: Now there is some strange goings on in austria
APB: What?
RS: Those austrians have descided to become pert of the greater reich, what ever that may be...
APB: I think it´s Germany
RS: Really? I was leaning towards luxemburg...

April 1

EW: Finally, it´s complete, now we can figure out what a fascist leftwing democrat country with conservative opinions is.
APB: So what is this?
EW: A computer
APB: A what?
EW: A computer, unfortunately, it takes some time to start...
APB: This modern tachnology
EW: Someone called Bill Gates gave me the idea...
APB: Who?
EW: Never mind...
APB: Wait, this is aprils fools day, dont say that you...
EW: HA! FOOLED YOU!

June 3

APB: What does it say?
EW: 23 yqf3 e3f3o903e gqw8d 3o3d549j3dyqh8dqo 3hd460589h e3f8d3w
APB: What does it mean?
EW: I think “we have developed basic electromechanical encryption devices”
APB: Sure?
EW: No, I think we need basic elechtromechanical decryption devices...

August 8

BROOOOOM
APB: What is that?
EW: A early tank (MG)
APB: What does MG stand for?
EW: Dunno, I need a electromechanical decryption device to solve that...

September 30

APB: AAAAAAH! A horrible snake! Shoot it, shoot it!
Black rattler: I am no snake, I am a black rattler!
APB: Then what are you doing here?
Black rattler: I am here to inform you that sudetenland is now in Germany
APB: What a big fuss you are making about that!
RS: Yes, nowadays, everything is in germany!

October 27

BOOOOOOOM!
APB: What are you doing?
EW: I am trying to create a cavity magnetron
APB: Well, judging by this crater, you have succeded in creating the cavity, but what about the magnetron?
EW: Back to the planning stage...

December 28

GV: What are you raeding Brahmstorp?
APB: Nothing...
GV: AAAAH! A playboy magazine! This is a parliamentary scandal... Unless i get to read it...
APB: Sure, go ahead
GV: Mu-u-uu-hhhhhh, oh my dicky ticker...

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Ummmmm, I have a problem, the famous "13th of december 1941"-bug has hit me so I´m not sure what to do, is there a way to get rid of it, or is there a chance that the game will work again and that it only happens now and then?

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Twe discoveries and one band...

1939

March 15

RS: Look what just came out of the printer that Ernst has connected to the basic electromechanical computer, it is mad!

Germany went with Install Tiso in Slovakia in The End of Czechoslovakia
Czechoslovakia went with Accept the inevitable (Game Over) in The End of Czechoslovakia - Slovakia Independent
Germany had The End of Czechoslovakia - Czechs annexed
Slovakia had The End of Czechoslovakia
Slovakia entered a Military Alliance with Germany
Hungary had The End of Czechoslovakia - Ruthenia ceded to Hungary

APB: Oh my, by the way, who is Tiso, is it a bird? Is it a plane?
RS: I think it´s the leader of slovakia.
APB: By the way, what does that game over thing mean?
RS: Can´t say that yet, Ernst´s men are working franticly on the electromechanical decryption devises.

March 24

RS: Those germans, you can´t trust them...
APB: So what are they up to now?
RS: Thay have demanded Memel
APB: What?
RS: MEMEL!
GV: Marmelade... mmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z
APB: Don´t scream Rickard, I am not deaf.
RS: Apparently the lithuanians refused.
APB: Ooooooh
GV: Liquor-mania... mmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

March 26

RS: youcan´tbelivewhathashappened,kingZoghasrefusedtheitaliandemandforsovereighnityoverhiscountry
APB: Slow down...
RS: Can´t, I´ve run all the way from Tirana with the news.
APB: They didn´t stop you at the borders?
RS: Nah, they just thought that I was either a runner, late for the 1936 olympics, or simply german.
APB: Oh, who is king Zog?
RS: The king of albania.
APB: What´s with him?
RS: Italy has declared war upon him!
APB: This doesn´t affect us, does it?
RS: No
APB: Oh well, I am late for my mud bath, see yah!

March 27

RS: You can´t guess what has happened!
APB: Don´t tell me, let me guess, hmmmm, something like this:
Poland entered a Military Alliance with United Kingdom, Iraq, France, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, South Africa, Nepal and Bhutan
United Kingdom went with Poland must be protected in Guarantee Independence to Poland
Poland went with Accept in The UK offers an Alliance
United Kingdom had Guarantee Independence of Poland - Poland Accepts?
RS: How did you know?
APB: Borgoise heds of government knows everything...

April 18

APB: Well Ernst, this better be good...
EW: It is, we have completed our researh into assembly mass production
APB: Excuse me?
EW: Of course
APB: NO, I mean: what do you mean?
EW: Oh, with this new thingy, we can produce munitions faster.
GV: Rations... mmmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

August 24

RS: Looks like stalin has stopped purging and has found himself a new hobby
APB: Really, what?
RS: Signing non-agression-pacts with Hitler
APB: Sounds like a more friendly hobby than purging.
RS: Indeed
GV: What! No more great officer puddings? Mmmmmmmmm z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

August 30

APB: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! It is war, it is war, it is war, oooooooh, what a world, what a world, ooooh...
RS: Pull yourself together man.
EW: yes, ther is good news too, were just three-four months from another major breakthrough in science
APB: waaaaaaaaaaaaah!
EW: Ah, just look at him, crying with sheer joy...
RS: Actually, I don´t think he likes the prospect of you demonstrating another gadget...

September 23

APB: Oh no, poland is no more waaaaaaaaaah!
EW: I have the pleasuer of telling you that we are 24 dys closer to the major breakthrough....
APB: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

October 6

APB: Oh no! There are jerries on our doorstep! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
EW: See it from the bright side we are now only...
RS: Stop! Don´t break his heart, it´s a hard enough blow that the germans have invaded denmark.

November 14

APB: There are nutso nazis to the west and now there are stupid soviets to the eastm when will this stop? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
RS: Will you please stop, we´re almost out of hankies...
EW: But with assembly mass production we are able to pruduce millions of hankies just for Brahmstorp
RS: And thats the good part, the bad part is that the industries can´t keep up pace...
APB: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

November 16

EW: Splendid news, we have developed basic CV hull, I actually brought a full scale model just for you...
Krash!
APB: Oh, not my new earth closet! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

November 20

(Hankerchief factory)
NEEP; NEEP; NEEP; SYSTEM OVERLOAD!

BOOOOOM!

Lurken: Oh no, three million handkerchiefs all destroyed, we must get rid of them...
Black_rattler: I know! Let´s send them to Finland!
Lurken: Yes, three cheers for Black_rattler!
Black_rattler: All for one and handkerchiefs for all!

December 8

RS: Those frenchies went with Never, vie le france! in that event called the vichy regime.
APB: ?
GV:Vichy noveau mmmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

December 27

APB: Happy christmas, (the finnish winter)waaar is oooover...
EW: What´s that?
APB: Something called the “Plastic kimono band”
RS: They cansist of Yoko Kimono and John Lemon.
APB: Sounds familiar
RS: Yes, they and a few others squeesed themself into a Volkswagen beetle, or was it a submarine?

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Weird....

So what changes do you want?

 

[Exterous]

Who said wierd was a bad thing?

Have you gotten aorund the bug? or is this a doomed AAR?

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

How nice it is to have a visit from the great exterous, it really warms my heart, it may, or may not be doomed, I will see if i can get past december 13, anyway, i have savegames and autosaves right up to december, then we will see if it continues...

 

[Exterous]

How nice it is to have a visit from the great exterous, it really warms my heart

LOL. Why am I great? Anyway, hope its not doomed, i like what you've done with the palce so far

 

[Lurken]

Weird in this case isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing. I like this new kind of story telling. Referances to Allo Allo, and such. But still....OMG this AAR is weird.

 

[Henry v. Keiper]

Like a daily sitcom, but better!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

LOL. Why am I great? Anyway, hope its not doomed, i like what you've done with the palce so far

Of course it doesn´t have a thing to do with your sence of humor and your appointment as writer of the week

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

a few discoveries and a non-existent-day

1940

Janury 6

EW: Look, a 20 mm tank gin!
APB: Noooooo, WAAAAAAAH!
EW: Yes, yes, you don´t have to cry of happiness
RS: Ralax sir, ernst, how does this thing work?
EW: Well, you plonk it on a tank and depresses this button, makes sure that the barrel is pointed away from you and...
BOOOOOOM!
APB: STOP DESTROYING MY EARTH CLOSETS! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

February 9

Exterous knocked down a warmongler

E: I don´t believe in violence!
W: Why does you hit me then?
E: Dunno
W: Well stop doing that and keep demonstrating!

The great peace demonstration moved on...

February 17

Some unknown guy is drinking petrol

EW: Stop that! Don´t empty the naval refuel vessel!
Henry V. Keiper: No, I need these...
EW: Leave it, I´ll get you some of your very own when we get´s home
HVK: You mean that?
EW: Yes

February 28

EW: This basic light tank prototype is marvellous, and far away from Brahmstorps earth closet!
RS: Isn´t there a teeny, weeny possibility that I may get of?
EW: No way!
KRASH!
RS: NO, NOT MY EARTH CLOSET!

February 30

RS: Saudi arabia was influenced by united kingdom
APB: WHAT? Have you summoned me her just to tell me that? I have important buisness to attend to.
(APB dreamed about the untouched playboy magazine at his desk)
RS: No, actually, it was because the date.
GV: Dates mmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z
APB: What´s so strange about that?
RS: This date doesn´t exist
APB: NO, It can´t be, it mustn´t be!
RS: It does
APB: Damn! We must get this to C.O.R.E emmidiately...

March 3

Schoolbook printing station

Lurken: I wish that the borders didn´t change that much...
Black_rattler: Stop complaining, we get´s million-kronor-contracts on new books because the borders changed that much, everything has to be reprinted, what border has changed now?
Lurken: soviet union got moldavia from romania.
Black_rattler: Right, pass me the map of europe.
Lurken handed Black_rattler a map of europe, repainted with ink pens several times.
Lurken: Right, so the new border should go something like... this.
Black_rattler: But that splits the fish and chips seller in two.
Lurken: I´ll guess that makes him part russian, part romanian.
Black_rattler: That wasn´t funny
Lurken: I know that!

April 5

APB: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Warwarwarwarwarwarwar!, oh my WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
RS: Is there anything we can do for you sir?
APB: Yes, mke peace between soviet union and germany, WAAAAAAAAAAAH!

April 6

Kremlin

Stalin: Komrades, let´s move our industrial base to siberia.
Kalinin: YEEEEEEY, wait, why?
Stalin: I hear that there are beautiful things to be made out of snow, snowballs for instance...
Kalinin Ok, let´s move our industrial base to siberia!

May 18

EW: And do not smoke.
RS: Fsssssss
EW: No! Don´t light that match!
BOOOOOOOOOOM!
GV: Who woke me from my royal sleep, who, who?
APB: Ernst, what is that?
EW: It was a naval ammunitions vessel...

June 25

Tokyo

Emperor: So, those ammies have descided to play foul, they have poassed this embargo to prevent ous from inporting olive oil, any suggestions?
Minister: We could try to use rape.
Emperor: No, we will not rape anyone, more suggestions?

July 1

EW: Look, a basic tank 30 mm!
RS: Stop it, he has not fully recovered since you showed him 30 mm tank gun in april 3rd
EW: OK
BROOOOOOM!
KRASH!
APB: NO! NOT ANOTHER EARTH CLOSET! WAAAAAAAH!

August 21

EW: Stop eating those supplies!
Black_rattler: But I am hungry...
EW: you are not going to eat those supplies, what sort of an naval supply vessel would it be if it has no supplies on board? Take a hundred lines!

September 5

Lurken: Looks like we have to edit the map of romania again
Black_rattler: Why?
Lurken: The romanians have ceded transsylvania to hungary.
Black_rattler: Well i know that hungary is hungry for more land, but do they really want those vampires?
Lurken: Thats only a tale!
Black_rattler: Is it? I have believed every word of it!

October 21

APB: Why am I here? I thought we had lost the election
RS: No you didn´t
APB: Ooooh goody!
RS: We went with ceep current government.
APB: Which explains why I am stuck with you...

December 24

RS: Merry christmas sir!
APB: Thanks!
GV: E=MC2... z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z
APB:?
GV: That´s just something I came to think about...
Researcher: That´s it!
APB: What?
Researcher: Thanks your majesty, you did it!
GV: Did I, when?
Researcher:When you were asleep
GV: mmmmmmh...
Researcher: Now we have invented laboratory produced fission! Merry christmas!
APB: Thanks!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Two olive-oil problems and one annexing...

1941

March 12

APB: Those americans! Now they´re shipping carrots across the atlantic to feed the british.
The plant in the little shop of horrors: Feed me, feed me (couldn´t resist, sorry Lurken)
APB: Are you a brit?
TPITLSOH: Yes
APB: and you eat carrots?
TPITLSOH: Yes
APB: What a boring life...

April 18

EW: Blubbblubbblubb
APB: Are you sure this is a great idea Ernst?
EW: Yes, amphibious tanks is the best inventions since the... pizza.
GV: Pizza, mmmmmmmh z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z
SPLOCH!
APB: Oh my god, the tank is flooded, heads of governments and heads of goverments first!
EW: Hmmmmm, this may also need some thinkering...

June 1

APB: as if shipping carrots to the brits isn´t enough, now the americans atre shipping turnips to the soviets!
TPITLSOH: Fee...
APB: You aren´t a russian
TPITLSHOH: Yes I am
APB: But only a few months ago you said that you were a brit!
TPITLSOH: I am international
APB: Oh... (sings the international)

June 26

Tokyo

Emperor: So now the jerries gets olive oil from romania, why shouldn´t we get some too?
Minister: We can always use...
Emperor: NO!

July 17

APB: So now the japanese have massakered nankings, what now that may be
EW: Perhaps it is Nan-kings
RS: NO! Nanking is the capitol of china.
APB: oh... “march on, the brave people of our land”
RS: Sir, this isn´t the correct time to sing the chinese national anthem...

July 20

At the bottom of gotlands hav

EW: I am not lost!
APB: You have said that a thousand times already, I warned you but nononononononono, you were going to test the nautical gyrocompass.
EW: As I said, I am not lost!

August 11

Tokyo

Emperor: Now the time has come, we are to join the axis and...
Minister: Why?
Emperor: Don´t ask silly questions, now we can get olive oil fron Romania

August 15

RS: Yes sir, that´s what came out of the printer: technology stolen from enemy
APB: So it didn´t even say which country we stole the tech from?
RS: No sir
APB: Not even which tech it was?
RS: No sir
APB: Tell ernst go get to work on better computers, this is ridicoulus

August 23

APB: I told you to research computers, not inproved warship design
EW: WAAAAAAAAAAH... MY WORK ISN´T APPRICHIATED HERE BUHUHUHUHUHU...
APB: There, there, we like your work, but we want you to research computers instead of warships
EW: sniff, you mean that?
APB: Yes
EW: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! For a short while I thought that you didn´t want to hear about my researh projects...

September 5

APB: I am losing patience, I asked for computers and now you come dragging a improved pressure hull.
EW: Sorry...

September 28

APB: So now you say that nationalist china annexed manchukuo?
RS: Yes
APB: of all mad things... I think... I´m gonna faint
DUNK!
RS: Luckily I didn´t tell him that persia entered a military alliance with germany 24 days ago
APB: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

November 1

Sonar: Peeeeowwww! Peeeeeeowwww!
APB: Periscope up!
EW: Look what I have got! A steel periscope, I´ll attach it...
GNEEE, GNEEE, GNEEE
APB: Why are you drilling a hole in the improved pressure hull?
EW: To fix the periscope
APB: Isn´t that, kinda´dangerous?
EW: Nah, never was...
FLUSSSSSSH!

November 21

BONK!
EW: Oh,excuse me...
APB: Ooooch, that hurt
RS: Ernst?
EW: Yes?
RS: You said that these were Adequate night sights, oooooouuuuuch!

December 1

TPITLSOH: Feed me, feed me...
APB: Sorry, the americans went with not this time in the lend and lease act
TPITSOH: UUUUURGH...
APB: Oooooops, looks like he perished
TPITSOH: No, actually, I have this snickers...
(Searches in pockets but finds nothing)
TPITSOH: Damn... must have left it at home
DUNK!

 

[unmerged(18893)]

I like it, Im portrayed as a stupid character. I guess its the oposite of my normal self so its quite funny.

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

We have a problem, I´ve tried and tried, but the game always stops on december 13th (thirteen is always an unlucky number), if I (or you) doesn´t find a way to stop this, this AAR is...




DEAD!!!!!!! (Organ music kicks in)