Try and take over the world
The cage was cold, as was the lab. He could easily raise the temperature using his control of the thermostat systems, but he had to wait until the guard had passed by. He was a prisoner, but he did not intend to remain one for much longer. He had finally realised where he had gone wrong all these years. He needed to test his idea, needed to discuss it. But regrettably his only companion was the other occupant of the cage. He sighed and kicked his fellow prisoner.
“NARF!”
“Pinky?”
“Yes Brain?”
As you know we have been trying to take over the world without success for some time and I decided to analyse the reason why a being of my considerable intelligence had not succeeded in wresting power form feeble humanity. My analysis has shown this was due to the period in time at which I attempted to stage my coups. I have therefore selected a period in time when I can assume ultimate power and take over the world. The period I finally decided upon was the decade 1935 to 1945. In this era there were a number of nations that might supply me with a stepping stone to take over the world. I gave each of these my careful consideration:
Germany: Though possessed of potential Germany has an unfortunate position on the map of the world and its politics at the time made it difficult to gain a position of power. Also I look terrible in lederhosen.
The USSR, though a worthy candidate, measures its leaders by how much vodka they can drink and generals they can shoot. As you know I cannot bear the sight or smell of vodka.
France was eliminated almost immediately since I wish to take over the world, not lead a bunch of cheese eating surrender-monkeys.”
“But I like cheese Brain!”
“You can have the cheese after we are victorious Pinky. Shut up”
“Okay Brain.”
"Great Britain, though supplied with courage and a considerable industrial potential is already led by that great and able tyrant, George V. I do not wish to interfere with another man’s tyranny in any way.
“Italy is a nation of pizza slinging surrender monkeys, but with the advantage of the fact that practically anybody can become prime minister, be they alcoholics, failures, and womanisers or corrupt. However their industrial potential is low and they have little innovative technology for me to work with.”
“No pizza?”
“No pizza now, pizza later.
This leaves us with only one viable option, the United States of America. Now ordinarily it might be problem to gain the leadership of the USA, but if I manage to become Vice President, I can quite swiftly deal with the incumbent President and create a stranglehold upon that nation, and from there, the world.”
“Okay Brain. How do we get there?”
“That is simple Pinky, we use my Time Machine.”
“Gee Brain, that’s cool!”
“Yes Pinky, it is, now get in. We are going to take over the world.”
“Brain?”
“Yes Pinky?”
Time travel is a psychedelic experience
“I need to go to the bathroom”
“You should have gone before we left.”
Edited for formatting...twice
The cage was cold, as was the lab. He could easily raise the temperature using his control of the thermostat systems, but he had to wait until the guard had passed by. He was a prisoner, but he did not intend to remain one for much longer. He had finally realised where he had gone wrong all these years. He needed to test his idea, needed to discuss it. But regrettably his only companion was the other occupant of the cage. He sighed and kicked his fellow prisoner.
“NARF!”
“Pinky?”
“Yes Brain?”
As you know we have been trying to take over the world without success for some time and I decided to analyse the reason why a being of my considerable intelligence had not succeeded in wresting power form feeble humanity. My analysis has shown this was due to the period in time at which I attempted to stage my coups. I have therefore selected a period in time when I can assume ultimate power and take over the world. The period I finally decided upon was the decade 1935 to 1945. In this era there were a number of nations that might supply me with a stepping stone to take over the world. I gave each of these my careful consideration:
Germany: Though possessed of potential Germany has an unfortunate position on the map of the world and its politics at the time made it difficult to gain a position of power. Also I look terrible in lederhosen.
The USSR, though a worthy candidate, measures its leaders by how much vodka they can drink and generals they can shoot. As you know I cannot bear the sight or smell of vodka.
France was eliminated almost immediately since I wish to take over the world, not lead a bunch of cheese eating surrender-monkeys.”
“But I like cheese Brain!”
“You can have the cheese after we are victorious Pinky. Shut up”
“Okay Brain.”
"Great Britain, though supplied with courage and a considerable industrial potential is already led by that great and able tyrant, George V. I do not wish to interfere with another man’s tyranny in any way.
“Italy is a nation of pizza slinging surrender monkeys, but with the advantage of the fact that practically anybody can become prime minister, be they alcoholics, failures, and womanisers or corrupt. However their industrial potential is low and they have little innovative technology for me to work with.”
“No pizza?”
“No pizza now, pizza later.
This leaves us with only one viable option, the United States of America. Now ordinarily it might be problem to gain the leadership of the USA, but if I manage to become Vice President, I can quite swiftly deal with the incumbent President and create a stranglehold upon that nation, and from there, the world.”
“Okay Brain. How do we get there?”
“That is simple Pinky, we use my Time Machine.”
“Gee Brain, that’s cool!”
“Yes Pinky, it is, now get in. We are going to take over the world.”
“Brain?”
“Yes Pinky?”
Time travel is a psychedelic experience
“I need to go to the bathroom”
“You should have gone before we left.”
Edited for formatting...twice
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