Trek Wars: The Final Frontier Strikes Back

[Bullfilter]

To be honest I swiped the idea from Blut und Schlacht where I spurted some coffee on my monitor because of a caption on Thor's ass or something, during writing I chuckle myself as well

You’re more than welcome, “By Thor’s hairy arse!” If you want to see great captions, have a look at Wolves of Westseaxna by @Asantahene or Road of Queens by @Eurasia. Pure gold!

 

[Surt]

The long trek ...

 

[diskoerekto]

I played some more today (with no advice coming, I decided to go for the bigger state that was not on the Portuguese border). Will write a new episode when I find some time.

You’re more than welcome, “By Thor’s hairy arse!” If you want to see great captions, have a look at Wolves of Westseaxna by @Asantahene or Road of Queens by @Eurasia. Pure gold!

thanks

 

[Bullfilter]

(with no advice coming, I decided to go for the bigger state that was not on the Portuguese border).

Any advice from me would have worth even less than you paid for it. I’ll just watch and try to understand the game. I will certainly be following the story.

 

[diskoerekto]

-----Chapter 1, Section 7: My Dear Sirs-----​

Hello and greetings my dear sirs, and madams I guess; I heard his excellency diskoerekto saying in the future, mere ladies would be more or less the same with the gentle men. My humble self has trouble grasping such a time, but it is never my kind of behavior to go out of line and tell something like that to anybody. There are some things I hate. I hate to say no, I hate to not please, and I hate to be bold and make uncalculated moves. My dear sirs, you might say there is no such word as uncalculated, and if you said so I shall find a better word for you and not argue otherwise even if I disagree in this humble head of mine. I can say I hate to make audacious moves. Words are wind, I can find words to please you, my dear sirs, err.. and madams; and I will find the best of those words for my master Andries, or his radiancy diskoerekto.

Danie van Regensburg, that great general exalted among many, was my classmate in the military academy. Actually we graduated together. His brilliancy, diskoerekto, put him in command of all the armies of our glorious nation while I was in the safety of the rec hall of the military academy. Yes, I was a graduate, but I was not in charge of any troops, and I beg you to not think that I am complaining about that, it is perfectly okay for me to just sit inside the stout and strong walls of the academy and sip my rooibos tea with a hint of wild flower honey in it. What I was telling to my lords? Ah, yes I was enjoying myself in the rec hall instead of going back to my family home, because in my family home there are less strong walls. It is always better to be safe, right? I told my ma and pa to come there to the rec hall to be safer, but they told me I had no guts. My dear sirs, I think it is always better to have no rhetorical guts than to have no actual guts. So rec hall it was for some years.

However, after my good friend Danie, the great general, took our main army with all the new brigades north to fight Oman; and a new infantry brigade to keep our mainland safe was finished training, his gorgeousness the great diskoerekto ordered my humble self to be in charge of this force, named the 1st Army. Oh my gentle sirs, how perilous and difficult was the way from our beautiful capital Pretoria through the mountains of Lydenburg and to the savage plains of Ulundi with its foul weather. Everywhere was danger, the locals, the lack of mountains, the wretched Portuguese and their huge army...

He really is a piece of work, isn't he? At least keeps the troops happy but no way in hell I'll attack with him (not that he'll want to attack anyway)

Look at that huge ocean with all its possibilities for horror. Who knows what might come from the deep? Who knows who might sail their ships and land their armies? Have you ever seen such a dreadful and monstrous view my gentle lords... err and my lovely ladies.

oh the horror

---​

His radiancy diskoerekto was cursing himself over a simple matter for a few months now. He was saying all our brilliant minds were researching things in the wrong order and it was all his fault. He is such a brilliant mind himself and I am sure it was just nothing, but he is blaming himself for nothing. In fact, a few months ago, he ordered us that until he knew better what to do, our brilliant minds would be researching nothing and just collecting their research points (how is this possible, it is over my humble understanding). Today he also figured out what our scientists need to study about: Enlightenment Philosophy!

Idealism it is, finally. Next one is Empiricism to be unlocked in 1860, and we will start saving research points from 1859. If I do not forget.

---
​

His omnisciency diskoerekto also was very excited some years ago reading a news about artillery prices in the paper. He decided, even without an operating industry of our own, he would create artillery brigades with imported artillery. Before, he was worried about the costs but newspaper says the costs are going down. Artillery is the most powerful kind of brigade that can exist, so adding them will make our army doubly more glorious. I admire his decision making abilities my wise lords.

It didn't become so much cheaper, but I expect our economy to get stronger.

---
​

Finally, my excellent sirs, I am sure you are as radiant and brilliant as himself; the great mastermind of all times, the lord of the now and the future, the great tactician diskoerekto laid out his plans of invasion and several options on the map. The rules of something called colonization that is due to start in 2 decades or so; according to our master diskoerekto, requires that if a province in a region is held by a power, the entire region can be turned into a state by that power. Or at least, another power cannot turn that region into a state. The first would be an excellent case, and the second one is acceptable as well. The brilliancy here is, if we can add to our domain all the African holdings of Oman, and the uncivilized nation of Ethiopia, European powers will have no way of colonizing the east coast of Africa whatsoever and we can focus on slowing their advance in South, and especially West.

I hope an acquired colony is regarded the same as a colony created as a result of an expedition.

---
​

After all this, my wise master diskoerekto decided to demand the state with the biggest population from Oman, leaving alone the state in the Portuguese border. That would be the next to be gobbled, he says, but in the meanwhile we needed as much population as we can get for sorely needed new brigades.

Here we go

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​

While my dear friend and the great general Danie was in the north besieging an African Omani province called Kilwa, his excellency diskoerekto also oversaw the starting of the construction of a new port in Durban. He says this will bring something called colonization points when we manage to become something called a secondary power. It is an expensive investment for us, but this shows we are becoming mighty and powerful. In addition to the cash upfront, all the materials that will be used from the stockpile will be replaced so more money will be spent in the end.

All the things I do for colonization points

---​

Shortly thereafter, my handsome sirs and gentle ladies, the exalted general Danie, whom I have the honor to be a friend of, triumphantly conquers Kilwa. He immediately moves on to Dar Es Salaam.

Much quicker with the Dragoon and extra infantry

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​

Oh my god the horror, oh God Almighty, Jupiter, Poseidon, Odin, whichever is the correct one, please mercy me. Today a scout report came with the news of an Omani fleet. It can carry 2 brigades. TWO. Yes the Omani being an uncivilized nation can only build irregulars, but that is still 2 brigades. I have only 1 brigade. I think my life will end here. They have been sailing up and down, and spying on us. They do not land because we are holding the coast, but what if they change their minds? We will maybe win, but what if a bullet finds me? Oh, my sweet mother with her cotton hands, will your precious son die in this hellhole called Ulundi? My dear sirs, it was a privilege getting to know you. This is probably my last words. Farewell.

Horror from Indian Ocean

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​

I cannot believe this, but my dear sirs, I am still alive and breathing and the damn Omani are still not landing anywhere. Later months, the excellent general and my beloved friend finished 2 sieges and moved on to the 4th province of this war.

Lightning sieges

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​

The government of Greece, after spending all the money they had and being unable to even pay the interest of their debts, defaulted. Our hardworking people's savings lent to them are just gone. We have the right to invade them to get our money one way or the other now, but I am against any wars. What is gone is gone. No more wars, I do not want to die. The Omani fleet is still lurking my gentle sirs.

Deja vu

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The Omani are haunting me, up and down, north and south, like a goddamn puppy but no neither do land nor go away to their home. Oh my dear lords my nerves are broken. I am not who I used to be. I fortified one of the scout towers and I am living there day and night always looking through the binoculars to that haunted fleet. It is like the legends of the old, like ghost pirates they are lurking there, driving me crazy from day to day, but never getting close or never getting away. While I am losing myself here, there are 3 good news from the north front and also new edition of the newspaper. The first good news gave a good chuckle to his brilliancy, but I did not understand why that was so.

omg roflmao an erotic pun

If we had luxury clothes, sieges would have been even faster than this

He doesn't know that war is over, I paid some fishermen to sport Omani flags in place of the Omani fleet to keep him up that stupid tower

Making America Great the First Time Now

---
​

My wise masters, the Omani fleet seems shabbier than it already was the last weeks, but I cannot tell what is wrong with it. I will just keep looking. I have other things to tell you though, today his excellency showed up furious with some news. The sly Portuguese didn't miss the chance that the Omani state next to them are left alone it seems.

Just as they accepted our peace offer. This means one more war with Portuguese, one less with Omani. Except the peace, there's one more thing I am keeping from Rudolf.

---
​

Our glorious nation, even though now not under occupation, still have people that are asking for new rights and getting restless. Thus, the parliament lets our great leader Andries pass one reform, and some months later another after that. Just as his excellency diskoerekto would do, he is letting more kinds of political parties but elections are still banned.

A real democracy

Immigrants will come in handy when we have an industry, to diamond mines for now.

---
​

I was not able to eat or sleep or do anything for fear of my life, for fear of that horrendous Omani fleet, but our glorious leader, his radiancy diskoerekto came today and told me the war was over and also there was one other thing he was keeping from me. I do not wonder to know anything else, the more one knows the more one suffers. We mere mortals should know less to be content more, but if my excellent sirs want to know what that was, his brilliance diskoerekto will write in detail later. In the meanwhile if I can ever find the courage in me to pass the mountains again, I will travel to the capital, to that peaceful rec hall and my rooibos tea. Until I can collect myself, I will stay here in my fortified little hut on the coast of the horrorful Indian Ocean. I am Rudolf Uys, your humble servant, and I bid you good morrow my dear sirs and gentle ladies. So long.

Unfortunately, my dear sirs, there are no larger pictures of me

 

[Bullfilter]

A cowardly sycophant - what a great general! Most amusing - and an interesting story perspective to a war that was really just a long succession of sieges. And the tiny little picture at the end with the final pitiful message. Well done, Your Shining, Glorious, Glowing Iridescent Radiance!

 

[diskoerekto]

A cowardly sycophant - what a great general! Most amusing - and an interesting story perspective to a war that was really just a long succession of sieges. And the tiny little picture at the end with the final pitiful message. Well done, Your Shining, Glorious, Glowing Iridescent Radiance!

A great general indeed

Thanks for the good words, and I am happy you read it so soon

I am trying to convey the different personalities of characters (it's only been me, Andries and Rudolf so far) but since English is not my primary language, sometimes I feel it falls flat other times become too theatrical maybe. But whatever, it will get better in time with practice And if you like it already it seems I might be on a good path.

The war was really boring, not a single battle or an enemy army sighting. Only the Omani fleet probably carrying 2 brigades of irregulars sailing up and down driving Rudolf crazy I have played more with a little more action though, and after I write that episode and find time to play even more, I am expecting even more action.

 

[Bullfilter]

I am trying to convey the different personalities of characters (it's only been me, Andries and Rudolf so far) but since English is not my primary language, sometimes I feel it falls flat other times become too theatrical maybe. But whatever, it will get better in time with practice And if you like it already it seems I might be on a good path.

You are doing a great job. People understand re 2nd or perhaps even 3rd languages and so will ignore those occasional bits that translate a little differently. But I think too, if you wish it to be a bit of a narrative device ... these guys would actually be Afrikaans speakers, I assume, so you’d expect a bit of that kind of thing to come through in their language anyway.

PS: and your written English is very good - it’s all very easy to follow, and humour translates well into most other languages.

 

[diskoerekto]

But I think too, if you wish it to be a bit of a narrative device ... these guys would actually be Afrikaans speakers, I assume, so you’d expect a bit of that kind of thing to come through in their language anyway.

great idea, thanks

PS: and your written English is very good - it’s all very easy to follow, and humour translates well into most other languages.

and this is a relief to hear

 

[stnylan]

I think it is fair to say this general is rather highly-strung

 

[Surt]

Bootlicking skills are good to become a general, but when you are a general is not so good as the enemies are not impressed by your grovellig and your own troops are not impressed by the yellowishness.

 

[diskoerekto]

I think it is fair to say this general is rather highly-strung

Bootlicking skills are good to become a general, but when you are a general is not so good as the enemies are not impressed by your grovellig and your own troops are not impressed by the yellowishness.

he certainly is a highly strung bootlicker, at least that's what the game tells me about him (a "yellow" sycophant, that is with -3 malus to attack but a little higher morale) so I am just using him as a placeholder general (no general is much worse than a bad general) and a storytelling device

So, anybody guess which news I kept from poor Rudolf?

 

[Surt]

Rudolf is going to be bait for the 24000 Portuguese!!!

 

[diskoerekto]

Rudolf is going to be bait for the 24000 Portuguese!!!

hahaha i'm not that suicidal yet

 

[J66185]

DUhhh,[.......], send him off into the Nile in hopes of getting him lynched by native savages to kill two birds with one stone?

 

[Surt]

Good idea, I hear people are also trying to get to the south pole ...

 

[J66185]

Good idea, I hear people are also trying to get to the south pole ...

Does anyone else have any idea what should we do to dear, old 'faithful' Rudoplf here?

 

[diskoerekto]

I know I've neglected here for some time, I'm preparing for the language exams to become a Dutch citizen in addition to the normal busy work weeks so it's being a crazy chapter of life for me. I figured out that trying to write long chapters block me more so I'll give another approach a go. Stay tuned for another episode.

The consensus about Rudolf seems like sending him somewhere, so somewhere he is sent but I made sure he didn't command any brigades

 

[J66185]

I know I've neglected here for some time, I'm preparing for the language exams to become a Dutch citizen in addition to the normal busy work weeks so it's being a crazy chapter of life for me. I figured out that trying to write long chapters block me more so I'll give another approach a go. Stay tuned for another episode.

The consensus about Rudolf seems like sending him somewhere, so somewhere he is sent but I made sure he didn't command any brigades

Hohoho, I sincerely hope the outcome is going to be very rich either way......

 

[diskoerekto]

---Chapter 1, Section 8: (First) Passage through the Heart of Darkness---
​

Hi everybody, this is me again. I knew real life would be a big obstacle in this AAR's way, but I didn't anticipate this much. In addition to the usual combination of drama and procrastination, now I have to study for a language exam to switch nationalities. The thing is, I don't really enjoy Dutch language very much, so it is going slow and I don't have much time. So I spend most of my free time trying to motivate myself into studying Dutch. I left the AAR to Rudolf the scared sycophant but one cannot leave it to other people all the time, right? So here's the real me writing this. Let's get on with the stuff I did last time but kept a secret from Rudolf the lily livered general.

He'd LOVE another war

Very shortly thereafter we are caught. I will replace all the staff of the consulates.

---
​

Oh and he didn't know the war is over until recently, so he didn't tell you the bold move to build 2 artillery brigades. They're the most powerful unit in the game, yet without a functioning industry thus constant expensive supplies they can easily turn into white elephants. Based on the fact that its price is briefly falling, I took a chance and built 2. Let's hope it all turns out well in the end.

Fire and Blood

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While the war between Oman and the Opportunist Portuguese goes on, Oman's ally Abu Dhabi asks for land access since the place is sandwiched between us and Portugal. On the other hand, Portugal asks for access as well presumably to attack other provinces of those via my territory. Of course I let the Omani side and reject the Portuguese. I am hoping here the Portuguese not being able to siege some extra provinces to bump up the warscore to get the 2 provinces that they have as wargoal.

My faith lies in game mechanics

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Now, let's have a small break from military affairs and focus on science and technology. Our brightest minds, and I am guessing by now you appreciated how flexible they are in their branches of studies, just finished working on Idealism. I'll use this stop to choose the next tech to explain our general strategy for now. As I said before, there are some certain techs that are absolutely necessary to be able to colonize, and there are some techs that are greatly helpful one way or the other to be considered as no brainers. Here I'll go through all the tech branches to comment on what is what and what I intend to do in the near future (that is, until 1870 when the great colonization discovery unlocks).

This includes all the discoveries that happened since we researched the previous tech. Note that how powerful Idealism is, +50% research points mean 1.5 times faster research.

Before the next one, let me tell you about something called liferating. All provinces have an attribute called liferating. Developed parts of the world is around 30-35, a handful of metropolitan areas are 40, London is 45 and Manhattan is 50. I guess it does not affect anything if the province is already settled, but for unsettled provinces it basically tells you how liveable that province is. By default at the start of the game with 1836 techs, each nation can only colonize provinces with a minimum liferating of 35 while only a handful of provinces are 35 and uncolonized (most of those are away from us, there is an island close to us but France colonized that on day 1, there are a few behind the Portuguese provinces but I guess they do not have the colonial points to go for those, and the final relevant ones we'll see later this episode). With the medicine for malaria discovery we had earlier we gain 5 minimum liferating so have the ability of colonizing 30 liferating provinces (a smaller handful with the closest ones bordering Ethiopia and Sudan). An even more smaller handful of provinces are 20 or 25 liferating, with the closest ones being near Portuguese provinces on the west side of the continent. The penultimate discovery here is under a culture tech, State & Government. In addition to some nice plurality bonus (well unless one's endgame is to be a dictatorship, plurality is a bonus otherwise it's a penalty) here we have 10 more minimum liferating.

Here we also see the other research point bonuses that we can have until 1870. The first one in 1860 gives a further 50% bonus doubling our rate and the 1870 one gives a 100% bonus tripling it compared to now. For those, I'll just collect research points for up to a year in order to be able to research them quickly. So when a tech finishes in 1859 and 1869, I just won't research anything until new year turns and then I will be able to pour all that research points into those quick. These also give some prestige bonuses which is helpful to put us in the league of secondary powers, which is another necessity for colonization.

The final one here, Nationalism & Imperialism is a double edged sword. Nice war exhaustion, plurality, migration and military morale bonuses, and is one of the key techs for that penultimate colonization discovery. I know it's a bit confusing but here's the deal: State & Government has the discovery unlocked but the discovery has a chance of 0% to get discovered. There are 3 techs that give 25% chance each. One of those is irrelevant to us, the other we'll discuss later and the third one is Nationalism & Imperalism. So we've got to research this. On the other hand, it gives 50% more seperatism and 33% more nationalist rebel organization gain. We'll have to bite the consequences and just research them all. So, 4 techs from culture branch.

We'll be some cultured bushmen I guess

Next up, 2 army techs that are unlocked in 1850 and 1870 respectively, together enable a discovery that gives 10 more minimum liferating (in addition to some neat combat bonuses) so there's that. 2 techs to research from the army tree for colonization. Note that there are other very important military techs here but everything is delayed until we get to start colonizing. The final discovery for colonization: Colonial Negotiations, is unlocked (but just like the previous one has 0% chance of happening) under Breech-loaded rifles, and has a 25% chance to fire when one discovers Machine Guns. I think you get what kind of negotiations are colonial negotiations.

That infamous maxim gun that we've got, and they've not


In Commerce techs we have 3 in line. The first one gives some cool mining bonus that'll come in handy in those diamond mines, and the other 2, though their bonuses seem to be modest, give 25% chance each to the 2 colonization discoveries that we've been talking about. So without market regulations backing up nationalism & imperialism there's smaller chance of a mission to civilize, and without economic responsibilty backing up maxim guns there's a smaller chance of colonial "negotiations". 3 more techs to research before 1870, that is.

Greedy capitalism

Finally, there's industrial techs. I'm just skipping on Navy techs for now, there are at least 4 that are important to us but our first priority is making it to 1870 with a head start on colonization, so there's that. While not directly related to colonization, this industry tech gives such a nice 50% mining bonus that we absolutely need it to boost our economy. There are a lot of very important techs here, but the priority is on enabling colonization until 1870.

We still don't know what a railroad is

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By the way, our CB is ready for Sokoto. In the second screenshot here, on the map, you'll see why Sokoto is so important. The 2 uncolonized provinces I marked have a liferating of 35, which means any country who is at least a secondary power and has a neighboring province can colonize those as long as they have some colonial power. All the provinces north of these 2 are Saharan Desert provinces with a liferating of a rat's ass. So, getting a piece of Sokoto, colonizing these 2 provinces (when we become a secondary power, hopefully before 1870), and when it's 1870 colonizing just one more state south of Sokoto will block everybody who's not already south of there from reaching the innards of Africa south of the equator. That leaves Portugal who is not a secondary power thus cannot colonize, and UK. UK is the strongest country by far, but I am hoping they'll have other places to focus while we are enveloping the provinces around them to contain them.

You can see the Portuguese sieging the Omani province with their huge stack. I hope they cannot make it to northern provinces to drive up warscore.

Plugging the ways of colonizers one uncivilized country at a time

We chose this state because this is the largest state with a coal province and bordering those 35 liferating provinces. The brick red colored state in the previous screenshot.

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The Portuguese and Omani seem to be in a deadlock. I hope it stays that way. In the meanwhile, on the upper right hand side you can see our armies were getting into place to make it all the way across the continent through the deep weakly charted jungles of Congo to attack Sokoto. Since the supply limits of those provinces were quite low, I had to send the army piecemeal. Guess who's commanding one of those.

My dear sir, his excellency, what is the order again? Oh my, will I have to leave the rec hall? Take the 1st Army? Where? Nooooooooooo.........................

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Gotta go now, a lot of stuff to do. Will be back with new adventures!