-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
With that sort of thinking the Uruguayan navy will go far. All the way to the bottom for starters.
It's all valuable experience though. As long as El Presidente doesn't shoot too many people, then the survivors will have some excellent motivation to do better next time.
It's all valuable experience though. As long as El Presidente doesn't shoot too many people, then the survivors will have some excellent motivation to do better next time.
Incredible patience on the part of the author, waiting twenty chapters to uncork that joke! 
Hahaha oh dear oh dear. I’m not sure which was more risible: the cork joke or the incompetence of the Uruguayan navy...it’s a close run thing lol
At least now the Uruguayans will be able to plug an obvious gap in their capability .With that, I pledge to stop this particular line of puns, for my own sake and sanity!
All I shall say is that it brings a whole new dimension to the phrase a work stoppage.
+ONEA corker of an update!
+TWO
+THREEIncredible patience on the part of the author, waiting twenty chapters to uncork that joke!
+FOURPut a cork in it, it's done.
+FIVE
+SIX
With that, I pledge to stop this particular line of puns, for my own sake and sanity!
+SEVEN
As I was laughing at this barrage...my Princess (wifey) stated <drum-roll "por favor"> Punny, Punny, very Punny
For the Record: she was also surprised (possibly somewhat alarmed) that my favorite brand of humor is evidently far greater than myself. Btw, within my family, we call all of this stuff...Sweet-Corn.
Bravos all-around!
Chapter 21
Chapter 21
“Open House”
“Open House”
During the first half of 1938, as reported earlier with Fan’s photos, Uruguay was having a very rough time in navigating El Presidente’s national-goal. However, the failure of the first prototype to float on the surface was not the only troubling event within the Cabinet; another concern took center-stage. Our story now turns to this other situation within the shadows of government circles.
The Big Three
The sun had set as Marco Terra-Firma and Manuel Peligro briskly walked together in silence to the Cementerio Central; which is, as the name states, a cemetery centrally located within the capitol city of Montevideo. Once through the old gate, our pair moved past many old tombstones and family-monuments devoted to lost loved ones. The duo finally came to a halt near a large, old family-vault of enormous size that easily concealed the two men from three directions.
Marco felt very queasy in his large trench-coat; “What is this all about Manuel? What are we doing here?”
Peligro kept looking about and replied quietly; “We are meeting an old friend of yours and now mine.” Before the President had time to ask a suspicious question, the secretive inventor Gilberto Tapanes walked around a corner and joined the two whisperers.
Marco was obviously shocked and words did not come to his mouth. Peligro did not delay an explanation; “My President, remember, I work only for you and in my job of keeping you safe, I discovered that you two are working together.”
Terra-Firma attempted to stay calm, as if he had anticipated this moment, but the surroundings of the meeting did not favor the needed composure from him; “Why in the hell did you choose this grim place to share your discovery?”
Manuel may sometimes make mistakes but telling the truth was not a shortcoming; “Because I could not think of anywhere more safe for we three to meet. The Palace is overrun by a swarm of agents and worse, by at least one that cannot be seen.”
Marco now knew that Peligro knew; “You know about that I see.”
Tapanes did not desire that Peligro tell the whole story; “Mr. President, once I knew that you were aware, though I do not know how - that you knew of, of, the accident, I went to Manuel again and enlisted his help this time. I was not avoiding you; I hoped that together we could handle this matter and save you from worrying about one more problem.”
Terra-Firma did not possess a trusting-nature, so it was behind a cautious tone that he summarized; “So you two were working at saving me the worry of unseen-eyes prying into my affairs? Is that it?”
Peligro admitted; “Not quite.”
“What else?” asked a cautious Marco, nervously looking at the corner of the vault where Gilberto had materialized.
Tapanes responded in a worried whisper; “I think we are dealing with two spies that drank my powder. I’m not certain about Diaz but he has not been seen by anyone for a very long time and after, I had an encounter with what I thought was the man but I am fairly sure, he was a woman.”
The President did not understand that nonsense; “Wait, wait, wait! Have you gone mad?”
“No sir.” And then the inventor gave all the details about the event in the storeroom.
While the President considered this new information, the other two became worried as they watched Marco’s face slowly turn white as a sheet.
“The three of us can find these two much better than our working alone.”
Marco remained dazed, so Manuel asked; “Are you okay sir? You look like a ghost.”
The President came to life behind an angry look; “Well, you certainly chose the perfect spot for that result. And here we are, standing in the comfort of a cemetery, while we have real ghosts walking about in the middle of our government and you...what? Want me to look happy and rosy-cheeked?”
Peligro was a bit insulted by the obvious; “No, Marco, I have more to share with you that I did not want to cover in the Cabinet-meeting. And it is not good news either.”
“What is it?” asked a now calmer Terra-Firma.
Tapanes was more anxious than the President for the answer. Peligro took a breath before; “We DO have a very serious spy-war underway in our country. In the same time-frame of the last report we have neutralized another 35 spies and from a total of 23 countries.”
Marco Terra-Firma was not shocked in the least now. In fact, now it would take a hot electrical-wire to do the job; “Are there more persistent nations among that list?”
“Before I get to that, you should know that our last man from 1936 was recently, er, located in Chile. Regarding troublesome nations, we have two. The first is France but we won that game this month by a score of 7-6; it seems we have an ongoing contest with the French.” Peligro appeared to hesitate now.
“Is there something else?” asked Marco, though he knew, more bad news would follow.
“Yes” replied Manuel. “Our most serious battle has been with our next-door neighbor Argentina. We had some extra bodies and put them to work there. As it happened, 2 super counter-agents there, wrecked havoc on our efforts and we halted that work. That score was much worse; they lost 2 of their agents here and we lost 13 agents there.”
“So, nation to nation, we have .500 record?” scowled Terra-Firma.
“What?” replied Manuel behind a blank look.
“Forget it. Let us get back to our world-famous spy versus spy research-center.”
The wind gained in strength and a chillier air blew in off the coast, as the three men left the graveyard and crept towards whatever the future may hold for them and the nation.
[Next, we head to another Cabinet-meeting, where this information will not be shared]
Last edited:
Ah to the HoI3 espionage wars - I have barely played HoI3, but I remember them well.
It sounds like Uruguay (which has a very proud football record - talking here of the proper one, a.k.a. soccer) is engaged in an Espionage World Cup! And for our Fab Three the game has just got that much harder too. If I was working for Peligro I think I would now be suggesting sniffer dogs and guards with paintball shotguns! Our heroes are lucky thermal imaging is not a thing yet in 1938!
About the only time I do more than the minimum with spies is playing a minor-nation. For majors, I get 10 working at home very quickly and 5 free for needed replacements and generally never do much more.
Barely played HoI3? Well, I know you are very busy here but unless you have a tiny General-streak within, you might want to come back and give TFH another go? You would have plenty of help if needed.
You foresaw half the future. But that last half...is a colorful addition.Thermal? I'm glad too, that we are only as far as Thermos.
Hold that thought for a bit.Great idea by @Bullfilter that!
Chapter 22
Chapter 22
“First-half 1938”
“First-half 1938”
The Cabinet-meeting
El Presidente began the meeting; “Good day gentlemen. I would like to bring you all the big-picture about how Uruguay is seen around the world. The last report from Mr. Peligro reveals America as our best friend.” (Eldorado wore a beaming smile outside but on the inside he was peeved at Terra-Firma’s previous order blocking more supply-trades and his loss of even greater personal profit)
“How do we fare with the majors?” asked Army-Chief Artigas. Eugenio was very worried about the big boys and facing any of them on the battlefield.
Marco was in political-stride; “Our relations are no worse off than when we began. Our relative scores with the Soviets, the Germans and the British all sit at zero. For some reason. France is a little more friendly toward us, as they sit at 10.” (Only Peligro understood the irony behind that casual remark)
The President continued with his agenda; “We have a report that Brazil is camping divisions along our NE border. At last observation, they are based in the provinces of Quarai, Coxhila and Santa Vitoria do Palmar.”
Jorge el Toro did not like the news of those deployments; “Brazil is clearly showing its intentions with those troop-movements. We need to face force with force.”
Marco had no intention of letting that sentiment gain any support; “We will not give Brazil, nor any nation the slightest excuse to feel threatened by our actions.”
The President continued; “We have finished Education 1 and with this advance, it brings you fellows up to speed and allows my leadership to be more effective. We can now research five techs, instead of four and a half, so this is a big step in our capability. And I have more good news. We can now make Engines and Torpedoes for our u-boats.”
Terra-Firma appeared very confident but he had to shake a mental-image of a popping-cork, followed by a flood of bubbles as he turned and added;”However, Jorge we also have great news for you too; we are now training a new Infantry division and they will carry better rifles (Small-Arms 2) and we have also started work on Support-Weapons for your men. In addition, both Radios and Agriculture we are learning now. We need to grow more food, since our underwater crews will need to eat well.”
Marco looked over to Cabesa-Grande and smiled; Juan returned a slight grin. (Radios was skimmed-over and what was not said to The Bull, was that Electronic and Mechanical Engineering and been recently completed but not for Infantry but because Radio-research was required before Radar could be pursued for use on the future U-boat fleet.)
Marco turned to Peligro; “This would be the perfect time for your announcement Manuel.”
The Foreign-Minister stood; “Those troops on the border? There is no need to worry; we have guaranteed Brazil. I am certain that this diplomacy assures them they have nothing to fear from Uruguay.” Not one soul at the table could think of any response.
“I should also mention that we have had a minor-report about some sort of political-crisis in Austria.”
The ever defensive Artigas had to ask; “Do we know anything about it Manuel?”
Peligro was dismissive; “No, I have no more intelligence; do not worry, it will not be anything of consequence. I am certain of that.”
Carlos de Loco had no planes or plans to discuss but needed to take part in the meeting some way; “Mr President, I have heard that Paraguay and Australia have both had some sort of attempt on the life of an opposition-leader inside their country. Are you concerned about something like that happening here?”
Security-Chief Jose Bergermeister quickly intervened; “No our dear Minster of the Air, we have no opposition leaders here.” [Some readers may wonder why Jose is not a large part of Marco’s schemes but would you trust a Bergermeister inside the government of Uruguay?] Jose went on to announce; “It came to my attention that Rigged-Elections had occurred in Luxembourg but Uruguay has nothing to worry regarding any future rigging here.” At this comment, Peligro grew very restless in his chair because he had forgot to tell the President about a third issue that graveyard night.
“Gentlemen, we have hit a major-milestone.” Marco put up a slide for all members to see.
The only question came from the head of the table, when El Presidente, trying to sound navy-ish, asked; “Do we have a Sea-Dog to command the group?”
Urribe was ever blunt and it did not matter one iota that El Presidente had asked the question; “Ah, no sir. We have no - I think you meant, sea-wolves.” Next, a slight chuckle followed from the Navy-chief: “But we do have an old-guard sea-dog; Admiral Reyes will be in command.”
Marco quickly slipped past his slip: “How far did our Practical rise after completion?”
Urribe yawned; “We now stand at 1.0.” You could of heard half-of-a-pin...drop.
“And when will our next group finish?”
“That would be April of 1939.” Lots of coughs from the table.
“Meeting adjourned.”
Hooray - a submarine that hopefully doesn't sink by accident but only on purpose!
I do own HoI3 - plus expansions - and there are definitely elements of it I prefer over HoI4, but the issue ultimately is one of time.
I do own HoI3 - plus expansions - and there are definitely elements of it I prefer over HoI4, but the issue ultimately is one of time.
Developing radios because you want radar for the navy? I love it.
Congrats on the first Uruguay-boats... Do you have a name for the class yet?
How about the 'Unsinking'-class, then you can have the 'Underwater but not sinking'-class, and finally the 'Usable in mildly windy conditions'-class
I'm sure you can come up with something better
The meaning of life, right here... pesky time just keeps moving...
Congrats on the first Uruguay-boats... Do you have a name for the class yet?
How about the 'Unsinking'-class, then you can have the 'Underwater but not sinking'-class, and finally the 'Usable in mildly windy conditions'-class
I'm sure you can come up with something better
The meaning of life, right here... pesky time just keeps moving...
Congratulations to Terra-Firma & co for the production of the first Corcho Class submarine. Huzzah!
800km range! Uruguay's subs can almost reach Porto Alegre, the southern most port in Brazil. I mean they can't, but they can get fairly close.
All I can think is that the plan is to sit in the River Plate and try to annoy Buenos Aires, I'm not sure they are capable of more than annoyance. But that is (a) unlikely to work as Argentina's main naval base and port is in Bahía Blanca (which is out of range of the Uruguayan subs) and (b) putting a slow, noisy, snort-less submarine in the shallow waters of the River Plate will just see the sub sunk within a couple of days tops. Argentinian ASW capability could be awful, as in WW2 Japanese Navy awful, and they still couldn't help but sink Uruguayan subs under those circumstances.
The mystery of the Uruguayan submarine forces deepens, it wasn't obvious what El Presidente would, or even could, do with a good submarine force. What on earth he intends to accomplish with such catastrophically out-dated (as in pre-WW1 tech, worse than a Royal Navy B-Class of 1904 capability) submarines I cannot begin to guess.
All I can think is that the plan is to sit in the River Plate and try to annoy Buenos Aires, I'm not sure they are capable of more than annoyance. But that is (a) unlikely to work as Argentina's main naval base and port is in Bahía Blanca (which is out of range of the Uruguayan subs) and (b) putting a slow, noisy, snort-less submarine in the shallow waters of the River Plate will just see the sub sunk within a couple of days tops. Argentinian ASW capability could be awful, as in WW2 Japanese Navy awful, and they still couldn't help but sink Uruguayan subs under those circumstances.
The mystery of the Uruguayan submarine forces deepens, it wasn't obvious what El Presidente would, or even could, do with a good submarine force. What on earth he intends to accomplish with such catastrophically out-dated (as in pre-WW1 tech, worse than a Royal Navy B-Class of 1904 capability) submarines I cannot begin to guess.
Well well. Not sure whether to laugh or cry at the delusion the Cabinet is under that their military is halfway effective. Still gotta start from somewhere I guess haha