We border on the Adriatic!

[Bakunin]

Game played as Albania, version 1.03b.

Difficulty and agressiveness = normal
Fog of War = On

Point of the game = see how long I can survive.

Premise = alternative history, enabled by a slightly insane King Zog I. Many liberties have been taken with historical details, so this is probably not an enjoyable AAR for the real sticklers out there.

 

[Bakunin]

Part 1

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, lowly civil servant, 18 FEB 1936]

I, Pavil Kopros, ever your humble servant, do fear that the King has gone insane.

I am not alone in thinking so, but am perhaps alone in expressing this thought in a tangible form.

You see… I am a scribe. A scribe by profession, and a historian by calling. This is simply what I do, for better or for worse. In addition to performing my duties as a lowly civil servant in the royal bureaucracy, I record my own reflections upon the events and people of my time. A dangerous vice in my kingdom, I know, but I flatter myself to think that my simple notes may someday be of value to the future inhabitants of our great land.

The king, you ask? I speak of course of our beloved King Zog I, ruler of the kingdom of Albania. I doubt that our beloved King would look kindly upon my observations but, as I wrote before, the King has indeed gone insane.

The King has been in a most strange humor lately. Muttering about dark times to come, wandering the palace at all hours of the night. Ranting about the most bizarre things to anyone who will listen. Even the Queen has become concerned about his behavior…

***[Excerpt from the record of a meeting of royal advisors 1 JAN 1936]

King Zog: …and so we thank you all for joining us today at this fortuitous meeting. For we are to unveil to you our salvation! The salvation of the Albanian people!

The assembled men look to each other nervously. The last time the King held one of these meetings, two of their colleagues disappeared afterwards. Permanently.

King Zog (intoning menacingly): We see dark times ahead for Albania.

The ministers nod. For Albania, as a small kingdom, this outlook is nothing new.

King Zog (rocking back and forth as if in ecstasy): But the wee forest spirits have visited us and shown us what we must do!

Absolute stillness. None of the ministers dare move a single muscle for fear of being noticed and singled out for the attention of the King. Fuat Aslam, the Foreign Minister, makes the mistake of blinking openly at this most inopportune time.

King Zog (shrieking): What!? Do you dare question the infallibility of this divinely revealed plan!? Do you, worm!? Should we not have you roasted over open flames for your insolence!?

Fuat Aslam (sweating): I… err. Um. No, your most royal Majesty. Of course not. I apologize for my unseemly display of emotion and cowardice. I… uh… I… (Fuat looks to the other ministers for help, all of whom pointedly avoid eye contact) …it is just that in my eagerness to follow you most royal whim, I am afraid that I was overcome by my awareness of my own unworthiness. Yes. That is most definitely it. Certainly no reflection on the plan of salvation reveled to you by the... uh… forest spirits. I simply wallow in my own pathetic misery because… (Fuat suddenly looks inspired and relieved) …because you are the sole vessel of this divine revelation, your Majesty. And although the… uh… forest spirits have righteously revealed this plan to you, you have not yet honored us, your humble and abject servants, by revealing the plan to us. I throw yourself upon your mercy, your Majesty! Please reveal the plan to us that we may better serve you!

The other ministers favor Fuat Aslam with frankly appraising looks. Not one of them though the man had it in him to weasel out of the situation, but he appears to have done just that. Chief of the Army Enver Hoxha goes so far as to raise an eyebrow at Minister Aslam in a collegial salute. All eyes swing back to the King.

King Zog: Ahhh. You DO understand your place, worm. Very well. The King is benevolent and wise. You shall be allowed to live that you may continue to serve us. Now hearken our words, Ministers, for we shall reveal to you the plan of Albanian salvation!

The ministers lean forward and do precisely that. What follows is very confusing, and frankly difficult to capture in the record. Suffice it to say that the King, without much in way of preamble or explanation, declares that Albania shall cease to exist less than three years hence, unless drastic action is taken now. He mutters about revelations and “dealing with the twofold Satan and yoking the dark, pale, horses to the Albanian chariot.” He goes on at length about unrelated advances in modern science in the fields of parasitology and how the lessons learned there should be emulated by Albania. He says something about preparing the way for the next Skanderbeg. He says quite a few other things that do little to dispel the commonly held belief that he is stark raving mad. At the end though, the tangible details of the Albanian salvation plan, although sketchy, are made clear:

1. We must follow the plan or Albania will cease to exist in less than three years at the hands of Italy.
2. Any minister who does not support the plan fully will die a horrible, public death.
3. Apparently there is to be another Great War, with Germany as the prime protagonist. No big surprise there.
4. The key to Albanian survival is to – get this – become a great colonial power.
5. This shall be accomplished by entangling ourselves in world affairs and alliances so that Italy’s war against us can be terminated quickly.
6. We shall then somehow ally to Germany, thus neutralizing Italy. We shall become a parasite to the German Reich, essentially enjoying its protection while taking whatever we can that Germany won’t notice or complain about too much.
7. In a word, this means Africa. Pending Albanian military success in Africa, we shall expand to other parts of the world, to assist the Reich in its goals of world domination.
8. Key military doctrine shall be to avoid direct conflict with enemy powers, whomever they may be. We shall attack unoccupied territories whenever possible.
9. Finally, King Zog insists that he must abdicate the throne. He swears that this is necessary, although he intends to retain a ceremonial function. No one understands this last point, really. The general consensus among the ministers is that it is evidence that perhaps the King’s motives are altruistic, despite being totally insane. He intends to make this possible by making the people hate him. Truly weird.

 

[Bakunin]

Part 2

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, lowly civil servant, 2 JAN 1936]

And so it begins. The King has decreed that we must research combat unit transport procedures. This is the first sensible thing the King has said in a long time. It stands to reason that if Albania is to become a great colonial power, we must have some means of getting our heroic troops to our future far flung territories.

The ministers have also privately expressed to others – in my presence – their thoughts about what they are beginning to call “King Zog’s excellent adventure.” Some are frightened senseless. Others, like Chief of the Army Enver Hoxha approach the situation with an outlook of bemused tolerance. The most venal response comes from the Armaments minister, who simply sees this initiative as another opportunity to line his own pockets with the wealth of the Albanian people.

Seriously though, this business about the King abdicating causes concern. Many of the ministers, although they fear him, realize that the King is the only person maintaining them in their present positions. We shall have to see how events unfold. The King has thrown ALL of Albania’s resources into researching naval transport. This is causing growing unrest but, according to the King, that too is part of the plan.

Oh. Also the foreign minister reported today that Germany is pressing territorial claims against Austria. Hmnn. Perhaps the King truly has seen the future?

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, lowly civil servant, 18 FEB 1936]

The King surprised everyone again today. At a meeting of royal advisors he stressed the importance of creating foreign entanglements. He directed the foreign minister to trade our surplus steel and coal for rubber among other things. He directed all of the ministers to seek out ways to entangle Albania in the affairs of the outer world. He then drove this point home by forcing all of the ministers to play a bizarre game that involves placing various body parts on colored spots on the ground in response to randomly drawn lots. He called the game “Contortioner” or some such nonsense. He insists that this game is a physical metaphor for the path Albania must follow. He also insists that this game shall someday become enormously popular in a foreign land. Each of the ministers excused himself from the meeting as soon as humanly possible.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, lowly civil servant, 27 MAR 1936]

The newspaper carries a report that Italy has annexed the kingdom of Ethiopia. Italy’s expansionist fervor is beginning to manifest itself it seems. Are we truly to be next? Also, on 8 MAR Germany reoccupied the Rhineland. Hmnn.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, lowly civil servant, 18 JUL 1936]

Civil war in Spain! Nationalist Spain has declared independence from Republican Spain. King Zog seems unconcerned. He is too busy depriving the Albanian people of consumer goods and insulting them in other ways to care much. Not being satisfied with the unrest cause by his austerity programs, King Zog has taken it upon himself to declare war on several Central American countries. A few weeks later, he sues for peace and each of our faintly puzzled enemies accepts. Needles to say, unrest is high in the kingdom now. I fear we have passed the threshold where open revolt is now not only possible, but also likely.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, lowly civil servant 8 NOV 1936]

It appears the Nationalists have prevailed in the Spanish civil war. Meanwhile, our own streets roil with unrest. Not a single Albanian is working and the economy has screeched to a shuddering halt. Unless something changes soon, I fear that Italy will not need to conquer us… we shall simply destroy ourselves and save them the trouble!

King Zog has taken up knitting. When asked about the wretched state of the kingdom, he simply smiles and says we must await the inevitable. As a palliative, King Zog has presented each of the royal advisors with a colorful scarf.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, newly appointed conservator of royal handicrafts, 1 JAN 1937]

A full year and little has changed for the better, except that I have been appointed to a new job in the royal bureaucracy. I am up to my ass in the King’s hand knit scarves. I have taken it upon myself to distribute some of them to the populace to use as blankets and whatnot.

The kingdom is still at 100% unrest. The ministers grow weary of this perpetual disorder and there is talk of a coup. It is unclear by whom or who shall take the reins of government after deposing the King. Some of those ministers loyal to the King have tried to warn him of an impending coup. The King just smiles and nods, and makes more of those damn scarves.

I have also caught wind of some behind the scenes meetings of select ministers. Mostly they are worried that there may be some truth to the predictions of King Zog. Before, they were simply trying to go along with the King’s proclamations without drawing notice to themselves. Now, they are actually trying to make sense of them. Of special interest is deciphering the identity of the “twofold Satan” that Albania is supposed to eventually ally with. There is general agreement that the “twofold” refers to two people or countries. Some speculate that one of these surely must be the enigmatic, newly elected President of the United States of America, Alf M. Landon. He is definitely an odd duck.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, former conservator of royal handicrafts, 1 MAR 1937]

The Revolution has come! The Albanian people finally rose up against King Zog, deposing him and replacing the monarchy with a liberal conservative constitutional monarchy headed by Theofan Noli. The former King maintains a purely ceremonial position, almost like a national mascot in a way. This has been explained away as a needed step to secure the future cooperation and acquiescence of the royalist faction, but I suspect a degree of collaboration between Zog and Noli on this score.

This revolution has come to pass exactly as Zog foretold. Those remaining in power view him as much more than a royalist vestige or a tolerated national mascot. Zog is our seer. We, myself included, are finally convinced of the truthfulness of his visions… despite the fact that they can be inscrutable and disturbing at times.

Since Zog has given up knitting scarves to take on his new role as – get this – “Emperor of Greater Albania,” I am out of a job. Perhaps I will find a place in the new government. Newsmakers always need people around to record their greats deeds, right?

In other news, Dervish Duma will serve as the new foreign minister, replacing the apologetic Fuat Aslam. The well-liked Mustafa Merlika now serves as minister of security. Enver Hoxha has given up his post to serve as a general in the newly invigorated Albanian military. The rest of the ministerial positions are filled with people of no distinction whatsoever.

 

[Bakunin]

Part 3

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 18 APR 1937]

I spoke to soon when casting aspersions upon the qualifications of the balance of the new ministers. Indeed, I have become one of them. Much to my surprise, I have been appointed to the post of Minister of Intelligence. Prime Minister Noli took this action at the strong recommendation of Emperor Zog, who apparently was duly impressed with my service as conservator of royal handicrafts. How this qualifies me for my present post, I do not know. Who am I, however, to question the wisdom of Zog?

My first task is to analyze the situation in East Asia. A newly militarized Japan has declared war on the Chinese Communists and Nationalists. Minister Duma, ideological crusader that he is, strongly approves of this conflict between autocrats and communists. I, however, fail to see how this conflict on the other side of the world can be turned to the advantage of our new Republic of Greater Albania.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 16 OCT 1937]

My office has been most active in the Soviet Union. Emperor Zog hit on the idea of spreading rumors of disloyalty among the Soviet officer corp. Their frightening leader, Stalin – who could give Zog a run for his money in the insanity department any day – responded to these rumors with widespread purges of the officers. Zog is delighted. He babbles about how this will eventually aid our “twofold” ally. Whatever. I did my job.

Zog has also managed to get Prime Minister Noli to push for a new consumer goods plan. Aside from continuing to research naval transport procedures, Albania shall convert some of its rubber reserves into a mass-produced version of Zog’s colored spot “Contortioner” game. Each Albanian family shall receive a copy from the government. Honestly! In my opinion this is a waste of resources, as the “game” more resembles a highly choreographed and slightly brain damaged version of wrestling more than anything else. Certainly not what should become our national pastime!

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 1 JAN 1938]

What a difference a year makes! Our small economy is humming along. We hope to complete our research into naval transport sometime this year. Zog’s colored spot wrestling game has proven to be a success among the people. I still think it is a waste of resources but, on the other hand, if it keeps the populace content it can’t be too bad.

My ministry has followed the events in East Asia carefully. The Japanese have made inroads against the various types of Chinese. We are shocked at the inhuman atrocities that occurred at Nanking, but have refrained from registering our concerns with the foreign ministry. Greater Albania does not seem to be overly concerned with matters outside of the Mediterranean basin anyhow.

Indeed, our energies have been directed elsewhere. Zog almost created an international incident by demanding to play a naked version of his “Contortioner” game with the United Kingdom foreign envoy’s wife. My ministry became heavily involved in the cover up. We have smoothed things over with the British, who have agreed not to make an issue of it in the world diplomatic community.

I begin to wonder why I am handling matters like this when Minister Duma SHOULD attend to them. Oh, well. My work on the cover up is appreciated and has increased my reputation among my colleagues.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 1 APR 1938]

Germany annexes Austria! Zog is delighted. Minister Duma is infuriated. The rest of us are either nonplussed or confused.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 30 SEP 1938]

Germany has taken control of the Sudetenland as a result of the Treaty of Munich. Same reactions as to the annexation of Austria.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 24 OCT 1938]

Japan annexes Communist China. Ho hum.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 1 JAN 1939]

Time for a yearly report. Alas, we have not completed our research into transport methods, but hopes are high for the next year.

We have now developed somewhat of a tradition among the ministers. Each month we get together for an informal evening of Zog’s colored spot “Contortioner” game and shop talk. Much discussion focuses on identifying our future “twofold Satan” ally. Certainly Germany is one part, since Zog has come out said so plainly. The other half? Support for the United States under President Landon is waning. It just seems so unlikely. Favorites at our January get together include Japan and Nationalist Spain.

Ah, well. Back to my desk at the Intelligence ministry. Zog has prophesied that this will be a busy and eventful year for greater Albania.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 2 JAN 1939]

What a rotten way to wake up from the hangover last night’s festivities. One of my underlings pounded and pounded on my door until, at last, I struggled awake and answered. “War,” he screamed, “war!” “With whom,” I shouted back, “are we at war?” I feared the worst. Had Italy declared war against us earlier than Zog predicted?

No. It seem that the Allied powers have declared war upon Germany. This may prove to be awkward for us when we later ally with Germany as we are destined to do. More for me to worry about. I am supposed to be the head of Intelligence. Why don’t I ever see these things coming? More importantly, why don’t any of my colleagues seem to care that I never see these things coming?

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 12 JAN 1939]

Belgium, Luxumburg, and the Netherlands join the Allies and are at war Germany. Italy and Yugoslavia join the Axis. And before you ask, no, I did not see that coming either.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 2 MAR 1939]

Germany has annexed helpless Luxumburg. Hungary and Bulgaria have joined the Axis. Minister Duma refuses to meet with Axis representatives, so I have been asked to quietly make contacts with them instead. It is looking like we will attempt to ally with the Axis. Perhaps by doing so, we may forstall Italy’s hunger for our territory?

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 15 MAR 1939]

Czechoslovakia crumbled under German influence. Germany occupied the Czech territory, while Slovakia becomes an Axis member. Meanwhile, Poland has joined the Allies.

Our initial contacts with the German diplomat Ribbentrop have gone well. It may be possible for Greater Albania to join the Axis, but we must first lay the groundwork. Ribbentrop has been busy lately, and is glowing with the successful treaty he has crafted with his Soviet counterpart, Molotov. The future does not look bright for Poland. Perhaps, if we join the Axis, the future will brighter for Albania.

Prime Minister Noli accepts this as inevitable. Foreign Minister Duma is apoplectic at the very thought of allying Albania with the Axis. Emperor Zog has taken to eating napkins at the dinner table.

 

[Bakunin]

Part 4

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, later in the day, 15 MAR 1939]

Zog has done it again. Again he has pestered the United Kindom foreign minister’s wife about a game of naked “Contortioner.” This last outrage proves to be too much, and upon learning of it, the Albanian council of ministers fears that this may result in war between Greater Albania and the Allied powers. While we are in closed session discussing this possibility, Emperor Zog speaks on national radio, proclaiming a new alliance with the Axis, and promising death to the infidel Allied powers, especially the United Kingdom.

May Allah, the Powerful, the Benevolent, have mercy on the Republic of Greater Albania. Zog’s insane vision has come to pass. A very surprised, but quick thinking Ribbentrop immediately conferred with his principals in Germany and endorsed the new alliance. For better or for worse, we are now an Axis power!

A common joke among the people is that the world shall indeed turn upon a new axis that runs from Berlin to Rome. The axis just gets REALLY wide in the vicinity of Tirana.

[Situation map to be inserted here as soon as I figure out how to do that.]

 

[Bakunin]

Part 5

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 3 MAY 1939]

Oh glorious day! Our scientists have announced that after over three years of diligent work, they have cracked the secret of naval combat unit transport procedures! Prime Minister Noli and Emperor Zog have declared a national holiday to celebrate this magnificent technological breakthrough by the Republic of Greater Albania. Hail Albania! Albania rule the waves!

We immediately undertake the construction of a troop transport ship.

Oh, we finally figured out the “twofold Satan” part of Zog’s prophesy. Germany is first half, of course. The other half? Italy! The very power that was supposed to vanquish us is now our trusted ally.

The German campaign in the Low Countries is complete, and they are pushing into France. The Italians are gaining much ground in Anglo Egypt-Sudan. Yugoslavia has invaded Cyprus.

I am becoming concerned about Foreign Minister Duma. He rarely comes out of his house any more. As such, I have taken on his duties in addition to my own as Intelligence Minister.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 29 MAY 1939]

Rather than suffer at the hands of the Germans, the people of southern France have considered declaring an independent French state under Petain. This seems like a good thing to us Albanian ministers.

But not to Zog. The Emperor has seen fit to request that my foreign intelligence ministry assassinate Petain to prevent this possibility. Prime Minister Noli acquiesces to Zog’s request. The assassination proves to be easier than I would have thought, since none of the Great Powers seem to think that Albania is capable of much.

So. Petain is dead, and the French collaborationist movement dies with him. I do not understand WHY preventing southern France from becoming a strategic ally of Germany is in the interest of our Axis alliance. When he not eating napkins, Zog explains that while it is NOT in the interest of the Axis alliance, it IS in the long-term interest of Greater Albania. He mutters something about “Albenin”… or was it “Albaniafrika?”

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 26 AUG 1939]

Germany and Italy have occupied all of European France. Germany formally annexed Poland. Germany honors the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact and cedes eastern Poland to the Soviet Union. The progress for our alliance is going well.

I have not seen Foreign Minister Duma for several days. Someone should check in on him, I think.

Months ago, Zog and Noli decided to improve the industrial capacity of Tirana. This may help in the long term, but it will delay construction of our first troop transport ship!

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 2 SEP 1939]

We are pleased to have been invited to attend a ceremony in Berlin welcoming Argentina to the Axis alliance. Argentina, of course, has many times the size and wealth of the Republic of Greater Albania, and yet we are the senior partner. How do you like that!

The new Argentine ambassador to Greater Albania has a delightful sense of humor, too, I might add. The council of ministers has invited him to join us for an evening of “Contortioner” and drinking. When asked to come out of seclusion and join us, Minister Duma grouses that “no good Muslim should be drinking alcohol,” and sends his regrets.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 6 SEP 1939]

Working closely together, Ribbentrop and I manage to convince the Greeks to join the Axis. Well, to be honest, Ribbentrop did most of the work, but I think that my presence, as a representative of the Republic of Greater Albania did much to put the Greeks at ease.

In thanks, Germany shares the Encirclement Destruction doctrine with us. Yugoslavia shares Base Defense Doctrine with us. Gosh, that was nice of them.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 14 NOV 1939]

The Soviet Union has declared war on Finland. I do hope that this does not prove problematic for the Axis.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 30 NOV 1939]

Our troop transport is complete! Amidst much celebration, the ship is launched in Tirana harbor. Now we must organize some land troops to transport and we can embark upon the creation of our far-flung empire. After much discussion by the ministerial board, with occasional witticisms thrown in by Emperor Zog, we decide upon cavalry. Less manpower required than Infantry, stronger and quicker than Militia. General Hoxha showed his face long enough to make a request for Armor, but the idea did not gain much support. Frankly, we must conserve the oil to serve our naval fleet. Since the Zog Doctrine of Albanian Survival focuses on attacking land that is unoccupied, the extra power of armor will not be needed. Hoxha gracefully concedes the point and returns to the field to organize the First Albanian Horse. Onward to victory!

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 1 JAN 1940]

The annual New Year gathering of ministers is more somber this year. Our Italian allies are getting pounded in Africa. For the first time ever, Emperor Zog seems upset. He raves at a state dinner about how Albanian Central Africa will never come to be unless the Italians shake the lead out. He also openly contemplates an Albanian liberation of Jerusalem.

Fortunately our Italian and German allies are accustomed to Zog’s outbursts and eccentric behavior. Prime Minister Noli and I assure them that we remain their steadfast partners in world domination.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 2 APR 1940]

We have finally found a world leader who is arguably more insane than Emperor Zog. Hitler has just declared war against the Soviet Union and rest of Comintern. We shall try to keep a very low profile in this conflict. Publicly we proudly offer the services of the entire Albanian navy. The Germans and Italians politely decline, but allow us to save face.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 5 APR 1940]

Finland joins the Axis and enters the war against the evil Communists. Well, well. Perhaps Hitler and Ribbentrop aren’t so crazy after all.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 26 MAY 1940]

We have finally completed the improvement of industry in Tirana. Now we can focus more effectively on the construction of the First Albanian Horse!

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 6 JUN 1940]

My intelligence service reports that Japan has annexed Nationalist China. They needn’t have bothered since the Japanese are trumpeting their achievement to the world media. Bully for them.

Matters for the Axis are looking less rosy. The Soviets have held the Polish line against the Germans. The Italians have lost the entire Libyan coast to the British.

We await the completion of our cavalry unit. Surely that will turn the tide of the war.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 12 JUL 1940]

Worse news. The Communists have annexed Finland. Minister Duma emerged from his home for the first time in months and attends a ministerial conference. Aside from repeatedly telling the rest of us that allying with the Germans was a mistake and that he “told us so,” his contributions are minimal.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 29 JUL 1940]

The First Albanian Horse is ready for deployment! A madly cheering crowd throngs hroughout the Tirana harbor area to witness them loading onto our naval troop transport. Emperor Zog declares a national holiday and, in a difficult to follow but truly inspiring speech, declares that the world shall now tremble before the might of the Republic of greater Albania!

General Enver Hoxha is given command of our first army. Construction on a force of militia is ordered immediately.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 17 AUG 1940]

Zog’s public proclamations about Africa have served us well. The British and French are working so carefully to guard the North African coast against the Albanian military (and our Italian allies as well) that we have launched a successful amphibious cavalry sneak attack against the territory of Aleppo. The Muslim population of Aleppo rejoices to be under Muslim rule once more.

Emperor Zog has proclaimed himself to be Caliph in addition to Emperor. Of what exactly we are not certain. The envoy of the neutral Turks has expressed dismay at this proclamation… but we do not fear the Turk! Onward Albania!

 

[Bakunin]

Part 6

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 21 AUG 1940]

General Hoxha reports success in invading Lebanon. To my delight, my intelligence apparatus reports that the Allies are so distracted with an Italian attempt to retake Libya, that they have left their Middle East protectorates all but undefended.

At General Hoxha’s suggestion, we approach the Greeks about assuming control of their military. Apparently, Hoxha has been developing contacts within the Greek military for years and, under tremendous pressure from its own military, the Greek government agrees. General Hoxha plans to use Greek forces to help hold down and expand Albanian conquests. We wish him luck and toast his success!

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 27 AUG 1940]

Victorious Albanian forces liberate Jerusalem from the British infidel! Emperor and Caliph Zog enters the city of Jerusalem in a triumphal procession. I am honored to attend and witness this historic occasion.

Greater Albania sends its sole troop transport as an expeditionary force to Greece, so that we may move Greek troops to our new Middle Eastern possessions. Somehow Greece managed to loose its entire navy, thus making this action necessary. Since we have military control over Greece, we still control our precious navy.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 29 AUG 1940]

We surprise British troops in El Arish and take the province!

Our intelligence services report that concerted Italian naval and air action has destroyed a large group of British troop transports in the Mediterranean. This is fortunate indeed, since I suspect that the transports were loaded with troops and headed to attempt a re-occupation of our new possessions.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 5 SEP 1940]

Event are unfolding so quickly that I scarcely have time to write as often as I did in the early years of our struggle. Henceforth, I shall write less frequently, perhaps monthly, and simply recap major events.

In any case, our Greek allies are performing well for us in former French Syria. Troops under general Miksos have taken Damascus in our name. General Hoxha has taken Port Said, and is busy transporting Greek troops to this new beachhead.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 1 JAN 1941]

The annual meeting of ministers is in full swing. My intelligence services provide the following situation map:

[To be inserted when I learn how. Basicaly, Albania holds Syria and Jordan and the rest of the Sinai area, as well as the Nile river valley of Egypt-Sudan]

 

[Bakunin]

Part 6, continued

continued...

My colleagues listen closely as I detail the activities of the last few months.

Germany is stalemated in the former Polish territories. Greater Albania has taken control of our troop transport again, and has begun a series of successful harrying actions against the Soviet Black Sea territories. Sevastopol, Majkop, and Batumi. We insert our militia units into these territories, draw Soviet forces away from the Polish front, and then withdraw the militia before the Soviets can make contact. Once or twice we have encountered Soviet forces that were so disorganized that we prevailed! That is… of COURSE the glorious Albanian forces prevailed over the godless red horde!

Our Argentine allies have done themselves proud. They have taken the Guyanan territories and most of the English and French Caribbean. They have seized the Falkland Islands from the British, which they view as a liberation of territory rightfully Argentinan.

Meanwhile, the Italians have finally gotten their act together and aggressively attacked Allied fleets in the Med and land forces in North Africa. They have not kept much territory, but have worn the Allied forces in this region down to a shadow of their former strength.

We continue to make good use of our Greek allies. We now hold all of Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, Palestine, and most of Egypt. We will send Greek troop into the desert to capture the remaining Egyptian and Sudanese territories from the British. Our First Albanian Horse, under the competent leadership of General Hoxha has begun the liberation of Italian Ethiopia.

The big question is, “where are the Allies?” True, the Italians have ground them down in our theater, but why are they not reinforcing in greater numbers? The Suez Canal is closed to them, but they still hold Gibraltar. My sources indicate that the British are worried about an invasion of the Home Islands, and that they are stockpiling troops there.

Emperor Caliph Zog is delighted. He is quite occupied with various triumphal processions in our new territories. The indigenous peoples, although not overly enthusiastic, seem to welcome him as at least a Muslim ruler.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 23 FEB 1941]

The First Albanian Horse has taken first Aden and then the island of Qadub. Still we ask… where are the British? Per hap we have found a partial answer. My spies in the region report that the Allies and the Italians are taking turns chasing each other into the Saharan Desert and dying there. How very convenient for Greater Albania!

The dastardly Iraqis have seized Damascus. Prime Minister Noli and Emperor Caliph Zog have directed our Greek allies to retake the region. We may soon declare war upon Iraq. Iraq is simply too convenient a beachhead for the Allied Australian and New Zealander forces, and we would like to stabilize the region. Zog has also loudly declared his suspicion that the Iraqis possess weapons of mass destruction.

 

[unmerged(15579)]

Right..................
Contortioner? do you mean Twister?
Great, although VERY quirky AAR.

 

[Bakunin]

Part 7

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Minister of Intelligence, 24 MAY 1941]

I would not believe it had I not witnessed it with my own eyes. At a state dinner last night, Prime Minister Noli had invited the Iraqi ambassador, as well as the diplomatic representatives of several neighboring countries. The purpose of the dinner was supposedly to test the waters for a new relationship with Iraq – a tacit understanding to maintain borders without too much overt aggression towards one another.

It seems that Noli and Zog have had a difference of opinion on how to seal up the Iraqi beachhead. Noli wants to exert diplomatic pressure and make use of my Intelligence services to attempt a coup of the Iraqi government. Noli hopes to brong the Iraqis out of the fight, or at least cripple their ability to harass our Middle East possession. Failing that, Noli seeks a defensive front with the Iraqis. The Prime Minister is increasingly worried about over extending our forces. Even with the help of our Greek allies, we are spread very thin. Noli worries that one concerted push by the Allies could pop our new Empire like a soap bubble.

Zog, of course, being insane, demands war with Iraq. He has been vindicated so many times that few, with the exception of Noli, dare to openly disagree with his vision for Greater Albania.

Well, the events of last night have sealed this decision. The banquet seemed to be going quite well. Much of this I attribute to the fact that Zog was not in attendance, but rather off in the palace somewhere pouting. The Iraqis actually warmly received Noli’s suggestions of lessened hostilities. It seems the Iraqis must make a show of supporting their colonial master, the British, but that their heart is not truly in this fight. Noli looked very pleased with the progress made toward a more peaceful outcome… that is until dessert.

As the dishes of sorbet were placed in front the guests at the table, Zog came running through the door, completely naked, screaming, “I am Skanderbeg! I am Skanderbeg!” He jumped up upon the table, ran in front of the Iraqi ambassador and proceeded to urinate into the unfortunate man’s wine glass and onto his clothes.

A horrified hush fell over the entire assembly. Noli fainted dead away, but few people noticed, since all eyes were on the events unfolding at mid-table. The Iraqi ambassador, an elderly, distinguished looking man became very still.

Not satisfied with this reaction, Zog taunted the Iraqi, “What ails you, oh representative of our great neighbor to the east? Is this vintage not to your liking?”

With barely a pause, the Iraqi responded, “No, Emperor Caliph Zog. Your taste is of course impeccable. I find that your choice of vintage is the prefect selection to complement the quality of the banquet your empire has offered us tonight.”

Again, stunned silence. And then suddenly the assembled dignitaries… representatives of all of Greater Albania’s influential neighbors… erupted in a roar of laughter. Zog turned beet red in embarrassment, easily observable due to his nakedness. The laughter continued. The Italian envoy actually rose from his seat, crossed the room and clapped the Iraqi on the back.

Needless to say, this debacle caused great loss of face for Albania in the international community.

But Zog ultimately got what he wanted. The next morning Albania declared war on Iraq.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, political refugee, 12 JUL 1941]

You may wonder why I have not written for so long. Indeed the sky has fallen in and I fear that the Republic is no more.

The war with Iraq ended badly. After a protracted, slogging battle with the Iraqis, we annexed their territory into Greater Albania. Very shortly thereafter, before we could rout the British out of Kuwait, a large Allied force landed there and pushed north to retake Iraq. It did not take long. Our Greek allies were forced into retreat and died in the trackless wastes of western Iraq.

Meanwhile, the Soviets finally caught on to our harassing tactics in the Black Sea and sent a sizable fleet there to attack our fleet. We have lost our only troop transport, and indeed our entire proud navy. Soviet mechanized troops made short work of our militia units stranded in Sevastopol.

The French had been secretly building up forces on the western border of Italian Libya. In merely a few months time, they blasted through the Greek forces holding that border and occupied the entire Libyan coast. A coordinated effort by the British from the south took Italian Ethiopia and deprived us of our Egyptian and Sudanese possessions.

The present military position Albania is grim. We have only one force still in the field. General Hoxha is fighting a valiant rear guard fight in the Belgian Congo. He suffers dearly from lack of supply and attrition. I fear that he will soon be overwhelmed by the South African forces that have been chasing him since late last year.

The home front is little better. Lingering unrest in response to our declaration of war against Iraq (WHY did we become a Republic again?) and a lack of manpower makes it impossible to build units to replace those lost in battle.

As of today, Greater Albania has been effectively reduced to our original two home territories. We still have nominal control over the island of Qadub, but we cannot send supplies to it through the British blockade of the Suez. We expect that the island will fall soon… and suspect it would fallen already if the British didn’t deem the place all but irrelevant. And yes, we hold some territory in the south of the Belgian Congo but, as I explained earlier, not for much longer.

The news gets worse. The Soviets have somehow broken our German allies on the Polish front. Truly, the red tide is lapping at the gates of Berlin. More importantly, Hungary has been annexed into the Soviet empire, and Yugoslavia is in the process of falling.

I have no doubt that we are next.

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, Soviet detainee, 26 JUL 1941]

It is a wonder I have been allowed to keep my diary. As long as I have it, however, I will continue to write.

The Republic of Greater Albania was absorbed into Comintern today. Our territory is now styled the Albanian Soviet Socialist Republic, a member state of the Soviet Union. We may have been able to delay this outcome longer had General Hoxha been able to seize the province of Banana from the Belgians, but he didn’t make it. The South Africans got to him first.

Our dream of a glorious Albania is dead. Most of our leadership is dead, too. Few had the opportunity to escape, and most chose to stay in Albania and fight anyway. For some reason, our Greek friends politely declined all requests of asylum.

Noli is dead. He was gunned down by Soviet infantry in the streets of Tirana. Duma died by his own hand. I do not know of any other members of the Ministries aside from myself who still live.

I find that I spend a lot of time wondering where we went wrong. Was it the invasion of Iraq? I doubt it. We were already spread so thin that I believe the Anglo-Franco pincer attack would have finished us off anyway. Was it allying with the Axis in the first place? Hard to say. Certainly we survived longer as a nation than in the alternate future that Zog so feared. At the end however, we are still a subjugated people… just at the hands of a different master.

Should we have listened to Zog’s wild dream?

Did we really have a choice?

 

[Bakunin]

Part 8

***[Diary of Pavil Kopros, lowly civil servant, 2 AUG 1941]

I am very tired. I am not treated too poorly, but my old body cannot withstand the rigors of the work the new regime has demanded from those of us associated with the fallen Republic. I have been enlisted into the “civilian reconstruction brigade,” as a low level supervisor. This means that, in addition to the backbreaking work of clearing rubble from the streets and fixing up damaged buildings, I am also responsible for the petty management of 23 other laborers.

I saw Zog in the streets of Tirana today just as the sun was going down. It certainly looked like him, but barely recognizable. He is a grizzled, worn, thin shadow of his former self. He recognized me, crossing the street to greet me as if I were an old friend. I do not know how he has managed to escape notice of the new regime. He never did seem to be very adept at blending in.

We spoke briefly… just inconsequential small talk. I would dearly like to talk with him about the fall of our Republic, but that is risky talk for the public streets these days.

As I turned to leave, however, he caught my arm and placed his hand on my shoulder. Looking deep into my eyes, he leaned in close and winked. He turned to leave and strode off into the gathering dusk, but over his shoulder he called back to me,

“Don’t worry too much my friend. This was just a dress rehearsal for 1.04.”

Now what could he possibly have meant by that?


THE END (?)

 

[Bakunin]

Enjoy!

Well, this was my first attempt at an AAR. Hope y'all like it. I am hoping to revisit the glorious dream of Albania dominance in 1.04!

Finally - bonus points to anyone who can correctly place the source of the title quote of this AAR.

Happy AARing, everyone!

 

[Prufrock451]

*stomp whistle stomp*

Nicely done!

 

[unmerged(15040)]

Great work

 

[Calbeck]

Excellent! A true "Little Mouse That Roared" story for HoI!

The fact that Albania managed to create a Middle Eastern empire, even for a short period --- wow. And with only one cavalry unit, too. And the raids into the Black Sea? Splendid show of footwork.

The deliberate sparking of an internal rebellion to replace Zog in preparation for an Axis alliance was truly inspired. Not to mention the scene with Zog and the Iraqi minister! "Vintage", indeed! -

Crazy thing is, this would make SUCH a great novel. Flesh it out and pitch it to an outfit like Baen --- it's an original look at WWII and the classic tale of the underdog, AND it's done in a believeable fashion (aside from the Brits and Italinos chasing each other into the Sahara to die).

On to 1.04 and the Courage of Albania! -

 

[unmerged(15579)]

Hahaha, go Albania! I particularly enjoyed Zog. How did you manage to do the Transport Unit Doctrine with an IC of about 5? Or did Zog do a magic F12 enchantment

 

[rich-love]

That's easy: the quote is from Cheers, from the song that Coach thought up to help Sam learn about Albania.

 

[brandnew70x7]

OMG. I loved that!

Albania, Albania, you border on theeee adriATIC.

Coach was THE best Cheers character.

GREAT title.

 

[unmerged(10945)]

Wow, I haven't laughed that hard in a while. The state dinner with the Iraqis was just brilliant! The Zog from this AAR has to be one of the best characters out of any AAR I've ever read, just bloody insane. A really great job. I hope we get something like this again with the new patch.

 

[Bakunin]

Ding ding ding!

rich-love: Congrats! First person to get the title reference!

Fuhrerdammerung: Albania was able to get Troop Loading Procedure by doing nothing else except research and the bare minumum of consumer goods for a VERY long time. After that tech was researched, we never bothered with research again - we just soaked up the tech sharing goodness from our allies.

[Started research right away in the game, did not acheive it until 3 MAY 1939]