Werewolf Lite CDXXV: In the Desert

[Arkasas]

Players
1. brovahkiin as the Ark of the Covenant, won day four
2. Wagonlitz, lynched day two
3. Claude LC, won day four
4. aedan777, won day four
5. Rovsea, lynched day one
6. alynkio, lynched day three
7. Dedonus, won day four
8. beartjah, hunted night one
9. alxeu, hunted night three
10. Hax as a Merkava tank, hunted night two
11. Emperor Ike as a Goylem, hunted night zero
12. Yakman, won day four
13. Panzer Commader, lynched day four

Subs
1.
2.
3.

God
1. Arkasas

 

[Arkasas]

Sorry about that, took so long to start up that I almost forgot about this.

Not to worry, my fine Bhutanese friend, you're just in time.

And lo, the High Priest gathered together sixteen elders, but it came to pass that four of them were exceedingly dead, and worse, that one of them sought to lead the children of Israel back to harsh bondage in the land of Nineveh. Knowing well the dangers, he ordered that every one of the elders should don black robes and veil themselves, as if they were brides, so that, should more evil-doers exist among them, they would not know who was the High Priest and who was merely an elder. And so the sixteen twelve elders gathered together with him, and they did break bread and drink vegan sake together, and all fell into deep slumber. But upon rising in the morning, they found that one among them had died during the night, not of God's will, but that of men. And so the High Priest and the twelve eleven elders gathered together, so that they might destroy utterly those who wished to return to Assyria by voting whom to stone.

Emperor Ike, a villager, was hunted

alright, get to Werewolfing

 

[Arkasas]

guess not

And lo, after the tragic demise of their clay colleague, the elders of Israel did immediately begin pointing fingers at each other, and hither and yon were stones cast. But he among the elders who was both short and boxy was the first to propose a candidate, and it was this man, a man of foreign birth and yet so very close to home, who the elders did stone. Alas, alas, alas for you, he was just a regular guy; not one of those Assyrian lovers.

Speaking of Assyrian lovers, the elders awoke the next morning to find another of their colleagues dead. How many more, O Lord, must die for your people to return home? How many more must be left behind? Shall it be all that generation who were kept in bondage, as in Moses's time? Or will some of us yet live to see the land of our fathers and the lofty hills of Jerusalem returned to us?

Rovsea, a villager, was lynched
beartjah, a villager, was hunted

more werewolfing commences

 

[Arkasas]

And on the second day, the elders did gather together once more; though having overindulged on vegan sake, they did find their minds to be sluggish and their words few. Thus it came to pass that there was again little agreement on the matters of business, until the friendly local vegan sake brewer pointed the finger at the one who had been pointing the finger at him. Having agreed to stone this one, the elders did pull off his robe and found none other than the walking corpse of Waghon L'Itz, who had played a pretty pivotal role in the escape from Assyria, in case you'd forgotten, or simply hadn't played in that game...

Anyway, "Waghon L'Itz!" they said to him. "We thought you were dead! We saw you sing about not crying and everything! Are you a messenger from the LORD, come to lead us to the Promised Land?" But he was a zombie, you see, and all that came out of his mouth were meaningless, guttural sounds, as if he were a Dane speaking to a Norwegian. With tears in their eyes, they did stone him, and return him to the earth; and once that was done, a great sense of peace came over them, and the LORD came upon them, and in their hearts at once they knew he was an evil trick, brought up by the Assyrians to urge them back. And there was much rejoicing, and that night they did break bread again, and all went to sleep peacefully, knowing that they were closer to their deliverance.

But alas, in the morning they found another of their companions slain; his great chariot-like body torn into many peaces. While none knew what he was, or how he had come to be among the children of Israel, all found themselves in deep mourning at his loss. But they soldiered on, knowing that they must live to return to the Promised Land, so that his death, and those of their other colleagues, would not be in vain.

Wagonlitz, a wolf, was lynched
Hax, a villager, was hunted

 

[Arkasas]

And on the third day, the elders did gather together once more, and once again being hungover, they spoke little and voted less. But it came to pass that they chose to kill the one who had recently begun courting a foreign woman, and lo, he was indeed sympathetic to the Assyrians, as those who court foreign women often are. Again, there was much rejoicing.

But in the morning, shock and sorrow rose through all the camps of the people of Israel, for their high priest had been struck down by the evildoers. At once, the people of Israel lost all hope for deliverance, and began having orgies, and worshipping idols, and worst of all, drinking non-vegan sake. But you, the remaining elders, knew that only one more man lay between you and the Promised Land, so you soldiered on just a little farther.

alynkio, a wolf, was lynched
alxeu, the seer, was hunted

 

[Arkasas]

the only reason I hadn't voted already is that I thought I already had
as I said, this game took long enough to start that it's papers season for me and I really can't afford to be super active

ah, semesters. What a strange concept!

And lo, the next day everyone was really hungover on vegan sake (and also the orgies and idol-worshipping, but let's concentrate on the vegan sake here for a moment). So hungover were the children of Israel, that many of them were comatose, or even dead, among them several of the elders. It was a bad time for everyone; like a prehistoric Woodstock without the bands or the psychedelics to make the experience at least moderately worthwhile, but in the desert. After much confusion and delay, the few elders who were both alive and capable realized that the vegan sake brewer was responsible for everything; every death and every wild night of partying. At once they did take to his tent, and searching through the copious stocks of rice, water, yeast, and poisoned Koji mold, they discovered the plans to destroy the people of Israel and bring them back into the welcoming arms of the Assyrians, where the leaders of the revolt would become rich and fat, while the rest of their people were returned to slavery. Reading these documents, they at once drowned the fiend in his own vegan sake and burned all his supplies, except the rice and the water, because they might need that. And in this way, the children of Israel were once and for all delivered from the sorrows resulting from the death of Shalmaneser back in God Hates Seers.

What they did not find, however, was a map. And the LORD looked upon them, and saw them all sad and depressed, and took pity on the people. The Angel of the LORD went down among them and said, "Hark! It's over here, you morons!" and he did lead them unto the Promised Land, and the people settled again in the land of their fathers, and all rejoiced. Thus they lived in peace, until I come up with a new idea for a biblically-themed Werewolf game.

Panzer Commader, a wolf, was lynched

Winners:

brovahkiin
Dedonus
Yakman
aedan and Claude too, I guess​

So, yeah. Any questions?