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G'Kar tries to sneak in the classroom, having missed several times... :(
Whispers to someone else in the last row:


"Psst, hey, can I copy what you did the last days?"


*tries to look attentive and like knowing everything that was done*
*starts reading pages 140-279 under the desk to catch up*
 
Lionheart was almost 15 minutes late as he ran towards the classroom. Stopping to take a few deep breaths he slowly entered the room and slipped quietly towards his desk where he had left his papers from last time.

"LIONHEART!" roared Professor Ebbesen.

"Sir?" answered Lionheart meekly

"Come here to the front!" ordered the Professor.

Lionheart slowly left his seat and gingerly made his way to the front of the class.

"Is your work up to date?" the professor turned to ask.

"Yes, sir!", lied Lionheart hoping that the professor would not ask to see it. He had noticed his work was missing when he had got to his desk and had seen G'Kar and Rictus sniggering to each other as he had gone forward to the front. He had recognised instantly his attempt at art.

"In your simulation how far have you got, then?" asked the professor as a deep frown crossed his face which. Unknown to the professor, but not to the whole school and the staff, this face unfrotunately resembled that of an angered gorilla when the target of a group of mischievous monkeys.

"Er, 1494, sir!" answered Lionheart trying desperately to remember the latest part of the simulation.

"And have you converted your moslem provinces yet?", continued the interrogation.

"Almost, sir", replied Lionheart cheerily. He could remember this bit. "I've managed to convert Kabylia, Orania, Gibraltar but Tangiers and Sahara seem to be resisting all attempts."

"Mmm", murmured the professor. "I would have expected more. What about those monopolies?"

"I have one in Mobile with a 75% share", beamed Lionheart. "Richest in the world along with my other one in Goa"

"And your puppets?", the professor questioned further.

"Er.." stammered Lionheart. "Oh, yes, Coavilha or someone like that has explored most of the interior of Brazil and North America and helped to set up colonies all round the great lakes area so that I can capture easily the North America indian provinces. Some explorer called Diaz also made it as far as Atjeh before he got lost in a storm"

"Losing explorers!", tutted the professor. "Very careless! Very good, return to your desk"

Lionheart turned to leave and so didn't notice the professor bring out Dustman's confiscated club. WHACK!

A few moments later Lionheart got up again holding his head and turned to the class where G'Kar was holding his hand to his mouth trying to stifle a fit of laughter. That was the last straw.

"Oh, Professor?", said Lionheart now half way back to his seat.

"What now?" asked the professor

"I think G'Kar wants to show you his work that he has done." Lionheart responded with a wicked grin. Lionheart looked round at G'Kar who had suddenly turned pale.

"Very well, G'Kar." said the professor. "Bring it up here so all the class can see."
 
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*tries to breathe normally and to calm down*

"Well, Mr. Ebbesen - it isn't my work: I found this on the floor: "

*stands up and hands over Lionhearts paper to the teacher*
(at the bottom of the page Lionheart signed with an abstract "LH"...) :D
 
Interesting piece of abstract art. I wonder what it might be.

DON'T DISTRACT ME, RICTUS.

Fortunately, I am a specialist in the nineteen disciplines of obscuratory artistry, so this should prove no problem.

Ahem.

I see.

Obviously, G'Kar, this is a depiction of the Battle of Huroon'Kla in the seventeenth cycle, where the Overlord Klophfff (the righthand squiggle right there) fought the invading Mutant Empire of Phoooz to a standstill using his epic 17 hour displa'moog concert for blasters (cleverly hinted at in the parallel lines down there, right at the bottom).

While obviously the work of a talented amateur rather than a master (lacking as it is, the overt signs of dia'gla'throoom associated with that struggle), I am afraid I cannot immediately recognize the artist.

It is signed: LH. Might it be a onglost Lala Hoffa? They were all supposed to have been incinerated along with him.

G'Kar, report for interrogation after class. This must be... investigated. Remember your own pain medication.
 
Grunthex looks around lazily from the back of the class. Not normally his type of subject, he'd taken the course after being told there was no homework, and the professor was so absent minded he never noticed if you were there or not.

It had been strangely educational though, with many things he could put to good use in a more civilized world simulation.

But among all the strange, amusing antics of the class, the most amazing had to be Carolus continuing to wear the colours of some sports team, even after they had retired to playing golf for the summer...
 
During last session Dustman slept and remember nothing that happened. Then he woke up and cried:

"Proffy, me can't conquer world with nights! Sure, horses are tasty but me control only all Italian, Creek...er..Grik.. and some Franch provinces and this 1700!! Heh, me need strong pubbet instid. Mabbe Turkish? Me like tasty birds, fatty one, fried with shark-fish, bit onion, pebber, battle visky... Yeah, Jamson, 12-year old boy, so sweet... Or better 16?.."

Dustman is completely lost in his dreams. His new club fall down and he doesn't notice it.
 
Feeling slightly uncomfortable seeing Carolus, MrT and some others playing around like there was no lesson, Legolas however tries to ask the proffessor something. Apparently this succeeds, and Legolas says:
"Prof. Ebessen, you still haven;t answered my question about Saxony. I don' mean to push you or something, but I am really interested in what You would recommend me doing."
*kicks Carolus slightly in his ass, for trying to kill the prof. with a kitten*
 
Legolas - I think I would migrate South for Italy, perhaps even losing some territory to reduce BB if absolutely necessary (though I would hate having to do so). This will leave you exposed between France (if it has formed correctly) and Austria, which is a very dangerous position, but you need the wealth and manpower. It might be worth considering a longer alliance with either France or Austria in that case, and play them against each other while you pick up some select territory. (This might require you to stay Catholic rather than convert to Protestantism).

Of course, if France hasn't formed correctly, you might be better off migrating westwards. If you can force them into Swiss-cheese mapmode (wellknown from the so-called generous offers of land for peace in Palestine), you can likely gain some provinces from defection at no BB cost during the French religious wars.

Do you have a timetable for your conquests, or are you just messing around, happily annexing right and left? :) When do you plan to begin the BB wars, and how strong do you want to be at that time? Will you kick them off with a diplo-annexation, turbo-annexation, or ordinary war? When do you expect to finish off Europe? Are you taking out the Aztecs and Incas early, or late? Do you always know which religion to dump in case of severe problems? Planning a WC is hard work, but strangely satisfying.

G'kar, Carolus Rex, et al - It will be at least two or three days before the next installment. I'm busy at work at work developing a small platform game most of May (the client has a hard deadline. I hate those ;)), and the Righteous BastAARds are long overdue an installment. (Norgesvenn is getting sarcastic :p)
 
Well, Professor, thank you for your advice. I myself didn;t have any detailed plan about the WC, but my goal was to take on Austria before they expand with the events. After that, I wanted to join the strong alliance of Bohemia, Hungary, Luxemburg and Croatia. But the problem is Wurtemburg, which do not seem to be very willing to give their teritory to us... :D
Also, I think that the BB wars may be made less hostile if I manage not to have many ports. I think Danzig and something like Genoa would be enough - then faraway countries will not be able to attack me so easily, and I will be able to crush my neighbours quick and thus become so great that noone wants to work against me.
Finish Europe - I think I would finish it in around 1570, except for Spain, Portugal and maybe England, as these countries should have a colonial empire by then. Maybe I should strike south and then attack Castille when I can?
Also, what do mean by saying 'France haven't formed correctly'? Do you mean the French provinces being divided into many parts by France's vassals?