I am not a wolf. In addition, I would like to clear up a few other things:
I did not murder any villagers. EURO did. I did not authorize the brutal Ethiopian invasion of Somalia. EURO did. I am not the cause of global warming. EURO is. I did not cause the global collapse of the financial system. EURO did. I did not bankrupt Greece. EURO did. I did not cause the fall of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. EURO did. I was not behind the Japanese famine of 1181. EURO was. I did not lead the Tartars on a rampage through Eastern Europe in the late 1200's. I did not cause St. Lucia's flood in 1287. EURO did both. At the same time. I was not the charlatan who led those foolish Christians on their crusades in the 12th and 13th centuries. EURO was. I did not introduce Human sacrifice to the Aztecs in the 14th century. EURO did. I did not cause the Great Quake or the Great Flood in China in 1556 or 1887. EURO did. I did not push for the colonization of America in the 16th century and order the extermination of the native populations. I did not single-handedly create the slave trade. Euro did both. I did not instigate the Thirty Years war in the mid 1600's. EURO did. I did not use mind control to cause the Napoleonic Wars. EURO did. I was not behind the ritual suicides in Bengal during the 1820's. EURO was. I was not the cause of the Russian invasion of the Caucasus in 1817. EURO was. I was not behind the Great Irish Famine in 1846. EURO was. I was not behind the Taiping Rebellion in 1851. EURO was. I did not unleash the smallpox outbreak on humanity in 1870. EURO did. I did not plot the assassination of Arch Duke Ferdinand and start the First World War. EURO did. I was not behind the Armenian genocide in 1915. Again, EURO. I did not start the Russian civil war, win it, and then order the extermination of the Cossacks. That was EURO. I did not purposely create the Ukrainian famine of the 1930's. EURO did. I did not plan the invasion of Poland in 1939 and start the Second World War. EURO did. I was not responsible for Operation Barbarossa, or the invasion and mutilation of the Balkans. EURO was. I did not lead the Ustashe massacres in Croatia. EURO did. I was not responsible for the invasion of South Korea. I did not orchestrate the totalitarian takeover in Equatorial Guinea. EURO did both. I did not purposely start a land war in East Asia by sending troops to Vietnam. EURO did. I did not plot the coming to power of the Khmer Rouge in 1975. I did not form the Argentinian dictatorship in 1976. EURO, again, did both. I did not order the Iraqi invasion of Iran in 1980. EURO did. I did not instigate the Hutu hordes in Rwanda to genocide. I was not behind the Srebrenica massacre. I did not elect that smiling jackape George Bush to the Presidency. I did not set up Richard Nixon. I did not engineer the Hyatt Regency Hotel Walkway which imploded, nor the Chernobyl nuclear plant. I did not create the teletubbies. I did not inspire Phil Collins or the band Journey to create music. I did not kill Martin Luther Kind or JFK and then frame some poor shit for it. I did not put out the hit on Nancy Kerrigan's kneecap. I did not cancel Cheers. I am not the one who sent Letterman death threats. I was not behind the staging of 9/11 or the creation of avian flu. I did not decide to only put half the number of required lifeboats on the Titanic. I did not inspire Bill Gates to create Microsoft. I did not design the 1971 Ford Pinto. I did not give birth to Sarah Palin or Barrack Obama.
ALL OF IT WAS EURO
I am an innocent man. The Demon Child has set me up! You must believe me, and help me find a wolf. THIS IS OUR LAST CHANCE YOU IDIOTS!