I can proudly say that I am not. And soon enough I will prove it.
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A description which works for both Paradox's DLC policies and Ged. Fitting.
EDIT:
And as you do like discussion on general Paradox things in your threads -Paradox Interactive CEO steps down over 'differing views on the company's strategy' - I like to imagine the dispute was over the lack of paid-for DLC in CK3. The CEO being sacked for failing to gouge the player base enough would be very Paradox.
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Yes...not entirely sure what's going on there, considering paradox just had a pretty bumper year. Somethings brewing, surely?
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Ged should be coming tomorrow, all going well. There is, between periods of intense pressure and crunch, a lot of waiting around as a law student.
The religious mechanics themselves are no doubt going to lead to much debate in chat over what is morale and good and all that. Paradox have confounded this problem by confirming that the next update will make cultures as variable and changeable.
This naturally will mean the Roman-Irish culture will be...different. Not only will have a custom faith no one else has ever heard of, but incomprehensible traditions and abilities also.
May even...maybe allow them to swim.
The religious mechanics themselves are no doubt going to lead to much debate in chat over what is morale and good and all that. Paradox have confounded this problem by confirming that the next update will make cultures as variable and changeable.
This naturally will mean the Roman-Irish culture will be...different. Not only will have a custom faith no one else has ever heard of, but incomprehensible traditions and abilities also.
May even...maybe allow them to swim.
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Stocks have fallen from the mid 300s to mid 100s over the last year. Paradox is heamorraging talent and has done so for a long time. The company is not well, I'm afraid.
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What mad man could conceive of such a thing!
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Perhaps over-stating things, but certainly in the last few year they have been struggling with the transition from being a small scrappy firm to a medium sized developer with several projects on the go at once. CK3 and HOI4 got got reviews and are selling well, certainly the HOI4 DLC train shows few signs of slowing down (I reluctantly accept there is a bigger market for "fun" grand strategy games than "realistic" ones, but that doesn't mean I like it). But I think the firm struggles to focus on more than 1.5 things at a time - i.e. one new game and one DLC factory.
Empire of Sin really did not go well and there was that EU4 "Yes the last few DLCs have been awful" admission recently, plus a few games getting cancelled in development. The concern presumably is that with Vicki 3 on the way either that game goes badly or the firm take their eye off one of CK3/HOI4 and the DLC train comes off the rails ala EU4. Deciding to lash out at the forums being 'toxic' rather than admit the firm had problems was also not a healthy sign.
The fact the share price has jumped 25% since the CEO got sacked would suggest the problems start at the top, or at least the board and market think they do.
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Christ, and this was supposed to be a huge year for them. CK3 was their huge burst into the big time, reaching AAA numbers of copies sold. With a back catalogue of popular AA range games, loads of dlc trains and a big fan base, they really should be performing better than they are.
Presumably the investors and board have ran out of patience and time for the 'old' runners to transition into mid tier publishing and production. They need genuinely good managers for all their projects, plus people who are experienced with overseeing the whole lot. The money and potential is there...its just they don't seem to be capable of exploiting what they have properly.
Relating to this, apparently the new HOI4 stuff required a whole split off team to get working, alongside normal game development. That's not really a good sign of good and efficient project management halfway towards release...
I think everyone is worried that Paradox is turning into a Bethesda type situation where they can't develope much and arent great at prodcuing others work either. The difference is B has a ridiculous amount of cash and pedigree behind it, and paradox is mid range (at best skirting the edges of AAA).
This thread does exist to monitor the entire development and evolution of CK3 (both in and outside the game), so I would not consider this offtopic if readers do wish to contribute to anything to do with CK3 or by extension Paradox.
All that said...
To the relief of everybody, Ireland can still go into sea.What mad man could conceive of such a thing!
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Hurrah!
As long as there is still no concept of boats, because as we all known boats and ships are the devil's work and have no place in this game.
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Surely this, I thought, surely this after an entire year of fixing similar animation bugs and glitches.
Oh no.
Oh no.
However, we can get bonuses to nautical navigation, whatever that is, through religious star gazing and cultural focuses...hmm.
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Re. Birth
Re. Birth
Since last time, Paradox have released a monster maker. Or as they call it, the character creator. This is in much the same vein as CK2’s similar system, only much more expansive, and open to much more abuse. If you don’t care about achievements, you can make pretty much anything you like in this place, provided it is at least somewhat humanoid.
The basics are self-explanatory. Give your guy a name, an assigned gender, a family name to ruin, and a randomizable but not customisable family crest.
I have absolutely no idea why this update shipped without the shield designer. It’s right there, being used by the computer to randomise designs. And even stranger, unlike CK2, both the character creator and shield designer (when it does come out) are free updates in the patch! I have no idea who made that decision, but they very well could have imbibed many illegal substances.
Or they are thick.
Anyway, we also need to decide upon a culture, and a religion. For our purposes, I have picked the most ridiculous and pretentious choices possible, and gone with Hellenism and Roman.
Yes, a long dead faith and a basically dead culture (we could have an interesting discussion upon whether the Greek part of the Empire was ever Romanised at all, and if so to what extent, but this is not really the time).
Basically, I picked it so I can put whatever bullshit Paradox gave the religious customisation, and blame all of Ged’s other erratic behaviours on his culture without offending anyone in the comments.
It also means that Ged comes off as an irritating weirdo at best and an absurdly heretical lunatic at worst. The peasants (symbolised by county control) and every character on the map will have an instant and high opinion penalty of him for this.
Good work, so far.
Now we can decide upon physical appearance. This is a delicate process, as I wanted him to indeed appear similar to what his traits (see below) would suggest, but also hint at the monster within.
The basics are self-explanatory. Give your guy a name, an assigned gender, a family name to ruin, and a randomizable but not customisable family crest.
I have absolutely no idea why this update shipped without the shield designer. It’s right there, being used by the computer to randomise designs. And even stranger, unlike CK2, both the character creator and shield designer (when it does come out) are free updates in the patch! I have no idea who made that decision, but they very well could have imbibed many illegal substances.
Or they are thick.
Anyway, we also need to decide upon a culture, and a religion. For our purposes, I have picked the most ridiculous and pretentious choices possible, and gone with Hellenism and Roman.
Yes, a long dead faith and a basically dead culture (we could have an interesting discussion upon whether the Greek part of the Empire was ever Romanised at all, and if so to what extent, but this is not really the time).
Basically, I picked it so I can put whatever bullshit Paradox gave the religious customisation, and blame all of Ged’s other erratic behaviours on his culture without offending anyone in the comments.
It also means that Ged comes off as an irritating weirdo at best and an absurdly heretical lunatic at worst. The peasants (symbolised by county control) and every character on the map will have an instant and high opinion penalty of him for this.
Good work, so far.
Now we can decide upon physical appearance. This is a delicate process, as I wanted him to indeed appear similar to what his traits (see below) would suggest, but also hint at the monster within.
Thus, through constant manipulations and experimentations (I have a folder full of freaks and monsters that may be used another time), we went from a strange little nosferatu dwarf to…well…
Yeah, he’s basically Frankenstein’s Creature. It was unavoidable really, considering what I’m creating here. For Ged 2.0. will indeed be a giant of a man (by my reckoning at least 7 and a half feet tall at shortest), and absurdly strong and smart. He will also be beautiful (the game’s word, not mine), and when I do put his hair on…yes, he is rather a looker. Provided you don’t mind the yellowed eyes.
In short, I think I achieved the main aim here. Create an interesting…creature, who has not quite managed to climb his way out of the uncanny valley.
Ged of Ned, in all his Glory
The creator itself allows you to choose height, weight, skin tone (only ‘believable’ colours, disappointingly, but give it time), hair colour and style…skull shape and face layout. This all goes into the DNA of the character itself, so whilst you can change (for example) the hairstyle and colour of the character in-game, the kids are going to inherit traits from this locked in stuff. Bear that in mind when you are creating your babies.
As to the traits that have gameplay and DNA value…now, this is interesting. Freed from the limits of creating a balanced or achievement acceptable creature (of course, you can stick within those limits if you choose to), I can basically give Ged 2…well…mastery of everything.
For example, those traits you unlock at the end of skill trees? Yeah, Ged has all of them upon birth. Note however that he has not actually completed the skill trees to do this however, so I’m still going to be ‘levelling up’ in-game, I just won’t have to spend skill points to unlock the traits at the end.
He also has every hobby in the game (no penalties attached for them, so why not? Let’s see what they’ve added in!).
Ged is also by far and away the world’s best tactician, strategist and fighter. He has every single warrior and battlefield trait I could give him (which is all but one, because two are mutually exclusive).
He also has maxed out stats, so is 100 at Diplomacy, Stewardship etc. And 100 in prowess, which means he can kill anyone with anything, if they are stupid enough to attack him (or he wants them dead). 100 Intrigue also basically guarantees that any murder he wants to commit will be done, and probably done perfectly.
I’m not entirely sure about the state of his health, or if his heightened immune system can even get sick, but he is sure to live for quite a while, provided he is not slain in battle (which given the above, seems unlikely unless a siege engine takes him out) or killed by some extremely lucky assassin.
His backstory, should we choose to try and extrapolate one from his traits is…confused. At age 16, as the game starts, he is the Chief (Count) of Munster, in Ireland. However, he is not Irish, and was definitely not from there.
In fact, he was ‘Born into the Purple’, which means he is a Prince of Byzantium, and was born in the Palace in Constantinople. But I’m not too sure who is parents were, given that he is ‘Pure-blooded’ (super inbred, to the point where it gives bonus to fertility, health and reduces the chance of inbreeding trait or penalties from it – not sure that’s how it works but ok).
He is also apparently a direct descendant of the Prophet (‘Sayyid’ trait). This is...interesting, given his other lineage claims.
All this is even more fascinating because he did not stay in Constantinople (if he is indeed from there). He has, so far as his traits hint at, in his 16 years of life been:
As to the traits that have gameplay and DNA value…now, this is interesting. Freed from the limits of creating a balanced or achievement acceptable creature (of course, you can stick within those limits if you choose to), I can basically give Ged 2…well…mastery of everything.
For example, those traits you unlock at the end of skill trees? Yeah, Ged has all of them upon birth. Note however that he has not actually completed the skill trees to do this however, so I’m still going to be ‘levelling up’ in-game, I just won’t have to spend skill points to unlock the traits at the end.
He also has every hobby in the game (no penalties attached for them, so why not? Let’s see what they’ve added in!).
Ged is also by far and away the world’s best tactician, strategist and fighter. He has every single warrior and battlefield trait I could give him (which is all but one, because two are mutually exclusive).
He also has maxed out stats, so is 100 at Diplomacy, Stewardship etc. And 100 in prowess, which means he can kill anyone with anything, if they are stupid enough to attack him (or he wants them dead). 100 Intrigue also basically guarantees that any murder he wants to commit will be done, and probably done perfectly.
I’m not entirely sure about the state of his health, or if his heightened immune system can even get sick, but he is sure to live for quite a while, provided he is not slain in battle (which given the above, seems unlikely unless a siege engine takes him out) or killed by some extremely lucky assassin.
His backstory, should we choose to try and extrapolate one from his traits is…confused. At age 16, as the game starts, he is the Chief (Count) of Munster, in Ireland. However, he is not Irish, and was definitely not from there.
In fact, he was ‘Born into the Purple’, which means he is a Prince of Byzantium, and was born in the Palace in Constantinople. But I’m not too sure who is parents were, given that he is ‘Pure-blooded’ (super inbred, to the point where it gives bonus to fertility, health and reduces the chance of inbreeding trait or penalties from it – not sure that’s how it works but ok).
He is also apparently a direct descendant of the Prophet (‘Sayyid’ trait). This is...interesting, given his other lineage claims.
All this is even more fascinating because he did not stay in Constantinople (if he is indeed from there). He has, so far as his traits hint at, in his 16 years of life been:
- A Viking Raider
- A Berserker
- A Varangian Guardsman
- A Shieldmaiden
- A Pilgrim
- A Scholar
- A Theologian
- A Torturer
- A Diplomat
- An Engineer
- An Architect
- A Warrior of the Faith (so he fought in at least one Great Holy War)
- An Adventurer
- A Desert and a Jungle commando
- A Renown Physician
- A Miracle Worker
- A Poet
- And is currently both a Holy Monarch, and a Heresiarch (that is, the leader of a heretical sect…which is technically true, I suppose).
To cap it all off, he’s a legendary sword master and reveller,
So…yes, Ged 2 was very busy in the time before we meet him at the start of the game. Did I mention you can customise literally every single ruler at the start map? So, everyone can be this ridiculous, or rabies babies, or dwarfs, or anything else you can think of!
Ged does have a problem however (aside from the multiple choice past and everyone hating his made-up religion and culture). He’s got all the good moral traits too, which means he basically fills a stress bar every time he does anything remotely ‘bad’. That’s a problem when you are also the world’s best murderer. And fornicator.
Whilst also being determinedly chaste and peaceful.
So, whilst it should be plain sailing for us, dear readers, for Ged…well, he’s in a bit of an existential nightmare. All the power in the world, and someone else is controlling his actions.
And with all that said, the game can finally begin once more…
So…yes, Ged 2 was very busy in the time before we meet him at the start of the game. Did I mention you can customise literally every single ruler at the start map? So, everyone can be this ridiculous, or rabies babies, or dwarfs, or anything else you can think of!
Ged does have a problem however (aside from the multiple choice past and everyone hating his made-up religion and culture). He’s got all the good moral traits too, which means he basically fills a stress bar every time he does anything remotely ‘bad’. That’s a problem when you are also the world’s best murderer. And fornicator.
Whilst also being determinedly chaste and peaceful.
So, whilst it should be plain sailing for us, dear readers, for Ged…well, he’s in a bit of an existential nightmare. All the power in the world, and someone else is controlling his actions.
And with all that said, the game can finally begin once more…
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Considering Ged's health/appearance, are we sure he is 16? Or even human? He must be ancient beyond our reckoning.
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Well he was born in the purple, which places his birth to after 846AD when the term was first used (that we know of). Paradox uses I think to refer specifically to those born within the purple room of the imperial palace in Constantinople to the current ruler of the Byzantine empire. If this is true, Ged must be lying, because that was not started practice until the 11th century, though to be fair to him, there is evidence of it occurring since the 9th, which is when this game starts.
So he's definetly not that old. And in any case, he has the blood of the prophet within him...so is not older than the Prophet.
This all being said, Ged is a very gifted liar and manipulator, and could certainly have fabricated all of this after the fact. In fact, his hyper competence, though we know it to be real, will probably be debated by in-universe historians for centuries. Was it propaganda? If so, how much? They're going to get the shock of their lives when around the 19th and 20th centuries, scholars will be forced to conclude that yes, he geounely was that good at everything, even if he definitely did not do some of the things he said he did (unless during his time as a Viking berserker varagarian guard, he moonlighted as a cross dressing shield maiden, and that's not the most illogical thing listed there...).
Of course, metatextually, we know he's 16 or 17 at game start, because any younger than that and he's not allowed to rule in his own name, and no one under 18 is allowed to have a beard in ck3.
And if we take the creation literally, he's actually only a few seconds to a few minutes old when we start the game, since we just made him there and then. Take your pick.
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I think he is some kind of alien implanted, genetically engineered clone construct, sent into the world as the avatar of some sadistic game-playing demigod with a twisted sense of humour … oh, wait!
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Ged's birth was so miraculous that it prompted the use of the phrase "born in the purple".
Unless he is the Father of the Prophet, or indeed Grandfather. Which would suggest that in fact the Prophet has the Blood of Ged, which has terrifying theological implications.
Even before considering the 'Massive Liar' theory there is very little that means Ged has to be only 16, so I am going with far, far older but with an incredible skin care regime.
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Clearly a vampire. No one has hair that perfect that isn't a vampire.
...unless you are a Werewolf of London...
...unless you are a Werewolf of London...
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...yes...I think he is some kind of alien implanted, genetically engineered clone construct, sent into the world as the avatar of some sadistic game-playing demigod with a twisted sense of humour … oh, wait!
Prompts the question, purple what?
Could indeed end up happening, given our liturgical ambitions. Ged himself may be the Prophet in question, of course.
He has to be under 18, as per the Paradox no beards decree.
Of course, he could be frozen in time at under 18, but eventually is capable of growing a beard which indicates he can age and does so.
The Northern Lords gave out a lot of beautiful lock choices, as we shall see, because Ged is going to go through most of them. The beards also have been improved, though none so far match the untamed wonder of the original wild and long beard (OG Ged's bears of choice), which has since been removed and replaced with the much tidier wizard beard.
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Considering he is Roman, perhaps he was born in a wine stomping barrel.
He could be over 18 and just clean-shaven.
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Racial stereotyping is not something we accept here at Ged's Existential Nightmare. Then again, he is a culture of one, so technically everything he does is the summation of Roman life.
Hmm...a conundrum. Answers on a postcard.
No. Character creation is actually way ahead of us there. If the character is under 18, it cannot be assigned facial hair. No exceptions.
Well...one exception.
For some reason, you can have the wizard beard (the longest one) on any adult male at any age over 16. This is presumably because it is magic and therefore can be grown even by adolescents (because as everybody knows, no one can grow any kind or length of facial hair until after the age of 18).
...
We are not even in the game yet and we have been caught up in the Paradox Parabola.
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