Imperial Cheese: The Improbably Incredible Rise of the Italian Empire

[TheButterflyComposer]

Is there any length that donkey won’t go to in order to have its way with … who or whatever he can?

These lies cannot continue. This time he was just looking out for a...friend.

An insult! Freedom of the press is highly overrated.

The New York Daily Dumpster was just a one time joke but it explains so much about event pop ups now that I think about it...

I'm not the biggest fan of Greater Hungary (those borders are hideous!) and Poland is just asking to be invaded so you can correct Vilnius.

Yeah I'm not all that happy with the border puppets eating a huge amount of the empire up. The other option, which may yet come, is essentially full annexation because they'd be left with two provinces each if I took my full right. The map would look silly there as well...

I've always felt like HOI4 was where Paradox went overboard with memes and ridiculous alt-hist in what had been their 'relatively' serious games. These puppet names just confirm it, especially Rosa Luxembourg. That's literally made for some reddit post

This is still a very serious and realistic game. Its just not very good at being serious or realistic...

As for puppet Europe, I think eventually (maybe post game after whatever happens with UK) the majority of these puppets on all sides get to go free...albiet staying within the sphere of the empire they used to be with. I can't see Germany and Russia sticking under us forever, and if they go, controlling all these other puppets will be hard, save for austria and Hungary who are right on the border and basically just autonomous provinces of the empire already.

Not sure about the rest of the world. Depends who wins and by how much. If the british win, I suppose business as usual, albeit with us losing whatever they demand. If we win...not sure.

 

[Historywhiz]

I mean I have heard Vilnius/Wilno was majority Polish until the USSR rolled in. That’s not going to stop Lithuania from wanting back their country’s ancestral capital though. That is so nice of Churchill to provide the mighty Cheesare with a plausible excuse for a declaration of war.

And Arthur Seyss-Inquart was the Nazi-aligned chancellor of Austria installed by Hitler to facilitate Anschluss in 1938, replacing the Italian ally Kurt Schuschnigg, who is still alive.

Paradox…

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

I mean I have heard Vilnius/Wilno was majority Polish until the USSR rolled in. That’s not going to stop Lithuania from wanting back their country’s ancestral capital though. That is so nice of Churchill to provide the mighty Cheesare with a plausible excuse for a declaration of war.

Poland just by being in the allies is a huge excuse for war. Its so obviously flouting agreed spheres of influence that there's no way UK doesn't think this will lead to war eventually.

As for the land itself, we've been on the warpath of trying to split every country up as much as possible to ensure they are all internally stable and no threat to us.

And Arthur Seyss-Inquart was the Nazi-aligned chancellor of Austria installed by Hitler to facilitate Anschluss in 1938, replacing the Italian ally Kurt Schuschnigg, who is still alive.

Well, he may be nazi aligned but given the entire nazi party now answers to me, for some reason, it all ends the same.

Because all fascists get along and are basically the same, right? And the nazis just loved working with other countries...

Apparently we can't tear apart Germany anymore than 1936 start. This is surprising to me.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

Oh my, trains are being added to HOI4. It may yet be possible to see if the Fat Controller and Mussolini can make the trains run on time.

How exciting!

 

[El Pip]

Because all fascists get along and are basically the same, right? And the nazis just loved working with other countries...

Well they did like collaborators in other countries and from a Paradox perspective that is basically the same thing.

Apparently we can't tear apart Germany anymore than 1936 start. This is surprising to me.

Surely there is an East/West split available as an absolute minimum.

Someone should tell Paradox that if they add in loads of odd successor German states then they can give them all really stupid names - The Glorious Brewing Republic of Bavaria. Hip-hop Happening Hannover. Schroedinger's Schleswig-Holstein. The possibilities are endless.

Oh my, trains are being added to HOI4. It may yet be possible to see if the Fat Controller and Mussolini can make the trains run on time.

How exciting!

Personally I am hoping HOI4 logistics ends up like Victoria II's economy, an amusing and mockable disaster that is so regularly patched and hacked about that no-one on earth actually knows how it works, because the code is such a complete mess (and because no-one at Paradox actually understood the subject matter in the first place).

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

Surely there is an East/West split available as an absolute minimum.

Someone should tell Paradox that if they add in loads of odd successor German states then they can give them all really stupid names - The Glorious Brewing Republic of Bavaria. Hip-hop Happening Hannover. Schroedinger's Schleswig-Holstein. The possibilities are endless.

If all else fails, given we are on ironman, I'll wait for the 'story' to end and then filch about in the code to see what can be done. I'm also somewhat disbelieving that there is no partition option for Germany, especially as there is one for France...

Personally I am hoping HOI4 logistics ends up like Victoria II's economy, an amusing and mockable disaster that is so regularly patched and hacked about that no-one on earth actually knows how it works, because the code is such a complete mess (and because no-one at Paradox actually understood the subject matter in the first place).

We research the choo-choo, and then build the civilian models enough for things to go. Then perhaps some disguised and armoured versions that are harder to make stop. Of course, takes time for thing to be made, and replaced, but necessary for train to go round.

Also does this mean coal is going to become a resource, or is it a request that all trains are already diesel powered?

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

This isn't really an update but a call to action. The latest dev diary on the new railway expansion adds railway guns into HOI4, meaning it is now genuinely possible for someone to play as a railway focused land power.

I want someone to make a Sodor mod for this immediately after it comes out. The potential for this new addition to the game is endless and very, very significant for the ongoing viability of the game in general.

Friends, comrades, AARlanders, I ask all of you to help make railways great again.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

So the next update is a mix of Consolidation as to what happened to the nazis leadership (I refuse to believe the game, which insists they still run Germany under Italian dominion), and an international conference to decide what to do about South East Asia, which is an absolute mess.

The French will want their land back.
The US will want the war over and markets open.
The British will want much the same, and their colonial possessions safe.
And we just want the horrible mess to stop and not spill over into Russia or Mongolia (which is probably too optimistic, considering Japan ITTL was willing to have a go at a fully armed Soviet Union).

Also, any offers for which location the conference should be held? Plausible or silly ideas get bonus points.

 

[Historywhiz]

This isn't really an update but a call to action. The latest dev diary on the new railway expansion adds railway guns into HOI4, meaning it is now genuinely possible for someone to play as a railway focused land power.

I want someone to make a Sodor mod for this immediately after it comes out. The potential for this new addition to the game is endless and very, very significant for the ongoing viability of the game in general.

Friends, comrades, AARlanders, I ask all of you to help make railways great again.

I would answer said call for I love The Railway Series, but alas I have no modding experience.

 

[El Pip]

Also, any offers for which location the conference should be held? Plausible or silly ideas get bonus points.

Bikini Atoll, so the islands become associated with a new formal type of hat and not skimpy clothing.

Potugese Macao for the neutrality and so that several attending powers can accidentally gamble away several colonies in the casino

Skegness, because it is so bracing.

Or, and this is my favourite, the new British Moon Base.

 

[Nikolai II]

Also, any offers for which location the conference should be held? Plausible or silly ideas get bonus points.

The Helsinki agreement (would seem to be a reasonably neutral territory - British-aligned but still distant from them)?

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

I would answer said call for I love The Railway Series, but alas I have no modding experience.

Enthusiastic nothings are still appreciated!

Bikini Atoll, so the islands become associated with a new formal type of hat and not skimpy clothing.

"The big three met today, all wearing shiny new bikinis. The wind however ensured that they were quickly taken off before the press."

Potugese Macao for the neutrality and so that several attending powers can accidentally gamble away several colonies in the casino

I'm pretty sure Mussoloni...yes, we already did sell Macao to the British (or possibly the Chinese), after we took over the Portuguese 'empire'. We at the time had no ambitions in the area.

I still don't really, unless one counts the ambition that everyone there stops doing things.

Even so, I'm glad I got rid of it. Now the UK has to waste time and headaches trying to decide whether they want to try and defend it or not whereas I only have the Siberian front to worry about.

Skegness, because it is so bracing.

That's also British (basically), and a little too...unappealing for the press and world leaders.

Or, and this is my favourite, the new British Moon Base.

Iceland? Well I suppose so. It's technically independent, a small island (very important for period conferences of this sort) and rather lovely.

The Helsinki agreement (would seem to be a reasonably neutral territory - British-aligned but still distant from them)?

Oh Nikolai, that is a perfectly paradox response. Indeed, it would be good for the reasons stated. Unfortunately, Helsinki is presently ruled by axis fascists, and half a Finland away from where the frontlines currently are.

It is probably the one that is best in keeping with the spirit of the game, but I don't think even I can come up with a reason as to why the Allies would schedule a meeting there.

Mussolini might, just to take the piss (after all, we took down all our axis targets in record time) but it probably wouldn't come to much.

...

Hmm. What about Jamaica? It's of extremely dubious sovereignty, but somewhere between US and UK control, nice, warm, a small island and (this is key) really far away from China.

 

[eoncommander]

How about the former Roman spa destination of Bath?

 

[RustyHunter]

I'm not sure of a good location since everywhere appears split between the Roman Empire or Britain. Perhaps somewhere in South America or Africa?

 

[Bullfilter]

Excavate Pompeii and have it there. What could go wrong!?

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

How about the former Roman spa destination of Bath?

Politically explosive. Remember we still have a rightful claim (that we have no interest in pursuing) to England and Wales, and the UK knows that...

I'm not sure of a good location since everywhere appears split between the Roman Empire or Britain. Perhaps somewhere in South America or Africa?

For the first part, yes pretty much except for Asia. That's rather why we're both concerned over what happens there.

Secondly, we could go to one of the Imperial Free States in Africa, only that has the potential of a British embarsement over rhodesia. And I don't think anyone wants to go to South Africa for anything, ever. And Free France still technically exists, and is a British ally, so they might kick up a fuss too. Paris and Versaille are out for the same reason.

South Amercia is a possibility also, but there the problem isn't tension between us and the British, but between the British and the Amercians (who want to be the big Imperial force in that continent).

Excavate Pompeii and have it there. What could go wrong!?

Well the super volcano beneath Central Italy is not extinct and (barely) dormant. So...quite a bit could go wrong but probably won't. At least not yet.

Pompeii was actually a seaside resort city, and yet is now several miles in land due to all the stuff spewed out of that eruption. Fascinating stuff but probably not what we're looking for.

Pip's Bikini, Jamaica and, why not, Helsinki are currently the hot favourites.

 

[RustyHunter]

I vote for Bikini in that case! I like the alt-hist of bikini's being hats or something instead of women's swimsuits

 

[Historywhiz]

Enthusiastic nothings are still appreciated!

I mean you or I could I guess float a trial balloon in the general HoI forum to see if anyone is interested in helping make such a mod, but I think that an actual wireframe of just what a mod would look like would have to be made first.

And there’s the additional issue of copyright. I’m not as familiar with British or Swedish copyright law as I am American, but I’m pretty sure that here in America, all the Rev. W. Awdry’s works are still copyrighted until 2040 when it should finally expire on The Three Railway Engines and it will be legal to use Edward, Henry, Gordon, and the Fat Director in whatever you want without permission.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

I mean you or I could I guess float a trial balloon in the general HoI forum to see if anyone is interested in helping make such a mod, but I think that an actual wireframe of just what a mod would look like would have to be made first.

And there’s the additional issue of copyright. I’m not as familiar with British or Swedish copyright law as I am American, but I’m pretty sure that here in America, all the Rev. W. Awdry’s works are still copyrighted until 2040 when it should finally expire on The Three Railway Engines and it will be legal to use Edward, Henry, Gordon, and the Fat Director in whatever you want without permission.

It was more a joke, as to actually play a sodor ish game only really requires an isle of man mod, which I'm sure already exists. Then play as that independently, and take over...wherever.

Simple solution.

As for infringement, since the mod itself is just an Island modification, and not even sodor, the AAR itself is the only thing anyone could go after. And whilst they could, as it does not fall under fair dealing as per British law, it would also be a case against a work of fanfiction.

Generally speaking, companies and individuals don't tend to bother fighting fanfiction, despite it being within their legal right to.

The game and AAR probably could happen, even though they probably won't because I don't think it'd actually be that interesting...

I vote for Bikini in that case! I like the alt-hist of bikini's being hats or something instead of women's swimsuits

Well it could still happen later on, leading to hilarious juxtaposition of old times news and bikini salesmen and young people all referring to bikinis as different things at the same time.

 

[Historywhiz]

It was more a joke, as to actually play a sodor ish game only really requires an isle of man mod, which I'm sure already exists. Then play as that independently, and take over...wherever.

Simple solution.

As for infringement, since the mod itself is just an Island modification, and not even sodor, the AAR itself is the only thing anyone could go after. And whilst they could, as it does not fall under fair dealing as per British law, it would also be a case against a work of fanfiction.

Generally speaking, companies and individuals don't tend to bother fighting fanfiction, despite it being within their legal right to.

The game and AAR probably could happen, even though they probably won't because I don't think it'd actually be that interesting...

Ah, here I was thinking that you were desiring an entire new world map centered on the Island of Sodor with some bits of Cumbria and Lancashire, and of course the Isle of Man, on the edges, and then having either a civil war on Sodor itself or a heroic defense of the island against the diesels of the Other Railway.