Cosmogenesis buffs fleet power again by unlocking more or better ways to increase it, and ultimately it heavily relies on fleet power to be successful. You can try to shoehorn your way to victory by playing diplomatically, but that’s just borrowing fleet power from other AIs to protect you. Again, it's all centered around the pivot point of limitless scaling fleet power.
I often purposely tried to avoid a certain playstyle just to see how far I could get with one arm tied behind my back, only to find myself scaling my endless doomstack of fleet power, coming from another source. This is what I meant when I wrote that the curtain was drawn back, the smoke vanished, and the mirrors shattered.
Overall, I really like the concept and the flavor the game provides, and how much fun it is to play multiplayer with friends. The empire management and the amount of it is really neat and engaging, but it all comes crumbling down when warfare starts. The fleet power arms race takes over the game and sucks the fun out of it. That’s why I stuck around so long—because I like the concept and many aspects of it, but the fundamentals are just rotten from my point of view.
This gets to two points then -
How much can you get away from an arms race just for self defense in Stellaris? (and on that point, you generally can't, but the problems with Fleet Power are not exactly being dragged into a bottom line arms race, when other empire's incentive and entire way to take the game revolves around warfare). To me there is a marked difference between 'I have to build a doom stack to go take the game away from the AI and be an active participant' and 'I have to build a doom stack just to keep myself clean, or I have to have 5 vassals with 5 mini stacks to Voltron with me if I'm attacked'. I think this is a hard one to get right to taste, but it should be tried.
I hear ya with Fleet Power being overly dominant, but see it in stuff like Diplomatic Weight and AI evaluations to throw themselves at you to become vassal. This is where its over abundantly doing work to seal the game whether you even want it to or not (Doing No Fed No Vassal playthroughs where I have to basically fend off endless requests, not because I'm totally invested in diplomatic corps, but because I have a big honking fleet because I don't have/want allies.) Thats not strictly about fleet power though, that's about Diplomilitary interaction and needs adjustment in my opinion.
Second point 'Is the composition of Fleet Power interesting or compelling', and this is where I don't really think it is overall even if there are some alternative means. I like Merc Enclaves, but that's not exactly interesting and the ships you get are the ships you get, sidestepping one of the major inflections of fleet composition. Same thing with Nanites - its a sidestep and does what it promises but its not exactly addressing that despite the presentation, the warfare model is kinda basic and functional to resolve conflict despite all these distracting minor knobs and buttons to tweak with it. I don't know what to do about that but it is a dangling out there.
I'm not trying to talk you out of valid criticisms and how the game doesn't jibe for you like it did, especially because I agree with some of them. Also because the flavor and theme do a ton of lifting for me too and is kind of what keeps me playing despite warts and flaws. I'm mostly just trying to flesh out how to keep the game compelling even after you've figured it out and there isn't help coming from the development side in timely fashion. Because some major changes that shake up the staid dynamics are way more difficult to pull off at this mature point.
I think a lot of players aren't wrong about symptoms but the remedies are not really clear nor are they low hanging fruit now. I guess I'm just rambling about how to make do until the high hanging fruit actually blossoms and there's some notion it'll drop when it does.
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