You are one governed by sympathy and compassion. Such is not weakness, and the world would be a better place if more people were so.
I have not always been so governed, but ever since I took the steps to win over my own demons, I have been growing more and more like him who offered me victory.
My comments of 'weakness' most likely stem from the effort of having to fight, all over again, to remind myself of the truth that brings victory. Just like the MSI culture, our world also lies to us on a hourly basis about how exploitation and oppression are right, or the only way.
Reading your story reminds me of the horrible injustice of our world...perhaps not yet as bad as the MSI, but the seeds of it are generally accepted as the true way to live by so many...and I am powerless to change the macro rush of humanity towards it. I can only work my small part in the circles I inhabit...
And yeah, the subject matter is heavy going, and it gets harder still; there's no compulsion to stick through it if it's too heavy. That said, I do appreciate your interest and comments.
But, it is one of those stories that has good in this world, and it is worth fighting for, and ultimately it's a tale of hope - you've only seen how far MSI has fallen. But there's some good, even in them, and by the end you'll see it rise over the ashes of old as MSI becomes the true uplifters and enlighteners they were meant to be, but lost their way from.
Being a lover of history, I fully expect the story to get harder still. This is the reality of slave wars. That is why my heart broke for Rivkah and the doctor character. They both have these ideas that the horrors of their first victory would be the end...or that the illegality of the way MSI fought would be acted upon...but I know that isn't the case.
MSI will come again, and with greater force than Unity can withstand. Property doesn't have 'rights' to MSI. Plus, as has been abundantly demonstrated, the law is only used to further the top shareholders ability to exploit and abuse. It isn't actually a means of pursuing actual justice. My heart breaks because I know THEIR heart is going to break.
Knowing all of this also fuels the rage within me...but that rage is one of the demons that I cannot let control me. If I were to let it out...I would lose my wife, my children...and more than that, potentially my very soul. There is a 'TheExecuter' who is awesomely evil...who can be even more demonic than many of these shareholders...but who, in the end, will only bring destruction, death, and oppression...and once that demon is in control, he will probably invite my other demons who like exploitation and abuse to the party...
It is only the hope that I have from him who gave me victory over my demons, that I must cling to. I cannot make the right changes alone, I need to be guided by His purposes and His plan. Every day I must trust and obey those purposes and plans, because I know in the end He will be victorious...even if I am not and I end up having to make real 'I die with my friends'...because that would be the right choice, the true choice.
I think this is part of why I enjoy Naomi's speeches. They contain the similarity to His messages to me...many of her comments and actions ('I love you all'...'I die with my friends'...treating MSI folks as having a choice in their actions) contain the same truths that helped to set me free. In a sense, her words (and His words) are like Galadriel's vial...
"In this vial," she said, "is caught the light of Earendil's star (the truth)
, set amid the waters of my fountain. It will shine still brighter when night (the persistent lies of the demons)
is about you. May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out."