First, if there are any mods perusing this thread, think you could delete the half dozen posts of garbage above here? Thanks
Second, AAR...
England 1689-1717
What began as another wonderful day being the unbeatable dominator of the game ended very roughly when I took a wrong turn down gangbangers ally and wound up getting gangraped by Drake, Ear, Kanth and Sid(who really didn't impress me at all, but participated nonetheless). They fucked me pretty good, but I'm not complaining. I rather liked it. Many people are against gangbangs for moral reasons, however, I think they're one of the healthiest things in a game, so long as everyone keeps their composure. Some will disagree, but most do not enjoy a gangbang quite as much when the person you're doing it to is acting like a baby.
This is how it began. I was going to attack Sweden, to liberate the rest of Denmark, when suddenly Drake and Ear did that very thing, and also stole my idea- demanding Sjaellend from Sweden, along with some other provs. Well, that was fine and good, because this gave me an excuse to break the NAP with them, which may not have been all that smart a thing to do if your goal was merely to ensure the longterm prosperity and growth of England. If you are like me though and like to diversify your goals, with things like drama, adrenaline release, and general ass kicking, you'll probably understand why I had to do what I did, and see that it was in fact, in the context of my objectives, a very smart thing to do.
Particularly when you look at how I planned to do it. The Spanish and French fleets were just leaving Sweden after a job well done. The French fleet had left a little bit earlier, because they were having their Spanish bitches do all the dirty work of burying the dead, appointing tax officials in new provinces and such. So it was about 5 months later that Spain's fleet of 800 ships set out on its homeward journey. Little did they know what lay in wait on the other side of Jutland- the British fleet, all 1900 ships, just waiting to spring the trap!
France's 1300 were long gone, probably in France. So when I saw Spain's ships coming, I had no qualms about DOWing them and trapping their fleet- I expected a complete rout and what would be an easy followup victory over France, where I'd defeat them on the continent with Marlborough before finishing the job against Spain one on one. But, alas, this is where lag intervened, and a little bit of bad judgement. After I DOW'd Spain, I ordered my fleet to move to the Sund, where the Spanish fleet was coming from, in case they tried to stop their movement and run away, so that I would still catch them. My order registered just as the Spanish arrived, CAUSING ME TO RETREAT!
Now I had a bit of a problem. I had 1900 ships, which grew to 2400 as reinforcements trickled in over the next few months, but my foes had equal numbers and were increasing them faster than I could, due to higher incomes and naval support issues. Thus, I had no choice but to offer battle in hopes of a stunning die roll. It went completely even though, and after we ground each other's numbers down to about 650 on each side, Sweden decided to join, bringing their 450 ships. I moved in to engage them, but they retreated. I moved back and fought the Franco-Spanish fleet again, and won, but was down to 300 ships. Enough to win a battle against Sweden, but Spain and France joined forces with them and left me with no more options navally. Except to attempt building a galley fleet, but that failure was mostly a sideshow.
The war now went to the continent, where Marlborough led the English army to victory against the French in the low countries, defeating the main army that stood against him and then making real capital on it by destroying several reinforcement armies of the French as they were raised. Enough warscore was gained in this way to stabhit France. Further warscore was gained by capturing Copenhagen from them, but Sweden's entry put an end to that. Copenhagen was easily retaken and then my army in Germany had to fight for its life against Karl XII, who ironically was the first leader to die in that theatre a couple years later, when the Swedish army was annhilated crossing a river.
Before this, Brandenburg refused MA to me, which was a really impolite thing to do in light of the fact I'd given them MA earlier, in their war with Austria, allowing them to send troops to their western territories, making it possible to defend these territories at all. I think it reveals the depth of the Margrave's character, but he made up for this by showing he had some cahones when he DOW'd me a year later. If I've learned anything from Drake and Ear in this game so far, it's that it takes a lot of guts to DOW this England. So nevermind the fact that I was already engaged with three countries, I salute Brandenburg for its daring sense of adventure. Not even waiting for Freddy or anything.
I also salute Brandenburg for singlehandedly gaining victory for the GA coalition(gangbanger's alliance, pronounced 'gay') in Holland, through the use of its fort. I sent Marlborough to assault a Brandenburger large fort, and he failed miserably, losing 40k of his 140k, and after that everything went downhill. That was the last turning point in the Netherlands. With his low morale, he lost another battle retreating back, and then failed another assault on a medium fort, and no longer had the numbers to hold off the hordes of France, Spain and Sweden. Brandenburg sent a stabhit, and I accepted, giving back the three provinces I'd safeguarded for him the last decade.
When I asked for MA soon afterward, I was pleased to find that the margrave had gained a lot of character indeed, and Marlborough happily marched his army through now friendly Brandenburger territory, on his way to join the army of the south where the battle is sure to continue.
Ontime: deflation
AAR: 3kD
Core: 1928
