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Seeing as they're both Dukes, Gloucester actually rules more land than Norfolk does (3 provinces and 10 constituencies for Gloucester against 2 provinces and 6 constituencies for Norfolk).
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The British Empire II: The Consolidation of Britannia: Chapter XII: The End (of Book 2)
The Conservative investment project for the rest of the Empire was to cost 65,500 gold coins. This is based on the treasury having just under 90,000 coins when construction was ordered, and having 24,500 when payments were made. Many Liberals said that the project was too expensive, and it didn't even include England, Man, Northern Ireland and Ireland. Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell stated that it would go ahead with my approval, which was granted. Snedgus Ui Diarmait threw more bread around the shed.
In January, the Governors-General of Ireland and Northern Ireland start a war over the province of Tyrone. The constitution doesn't forbid vassal wars, so I have to get creative to end the war. Ireland is teleported to Northern Ireland's dungeon by Ben so that the war ends in March. Late in 827, I became stressed from everything I have to do in life. Prince Paul died on New Year's Day 828. Prince Peter is now my heir. The Picts are slowly dying out in Scotland. However, they remain on their independent Faroe Islands. During Easter 828, my youngest son Randolph asks for permission to join the clergy, which I grant. In April, a lowborn named Eric died in Warwick. The following month, my granddaughter Edith gives birth to a son with my great-nephew Stephen, and they name the boy Eric. In the Republic of Bristol, a new constituency was established, meaning there would be an extra MP and Elector. A constituency was constructed in Warwick later in 828.
A 'recruit' is bringing me my food when he drops it on my foot by accident. It burns so much that my physician recommends amputating it. The surgery is a dramatic failure, and I am now infected with gangrene in my other leg. After a week of struggle, I slip in and out of consciousness on November 25th, the anniversary of my father's death.
(Three days later):
My heirs and the government join me as it is feared I will die shortly. I ask Prince Peter and Parliament to pass Constitutional Amendments to prevent another war in Ireland, which they agree to. I tell my wife and children that I love them, and finally everything goes dark.....
In January, the Governors-General of Ireland and Northern Ireland start a war over the province of Tyrone. The constitution doesn't forbid vassal wars, so I have to get creative to end the war. Ireland is teleported to Northern Ireland's dungeon by Ben so that the war ends in March. Late in 827, I became stressed from everything I have to do in life. Prince Paul died on New Year's Day 828. Prince Peter is now my heir. The Picts are slowly dying out in Scotland. However, they remain on their independent Faroe Islands. During Easter 828, my youngest son Randolph asks for permission to join the clergy, which I grant. In April, a lowborn named Eric died in Warwick. The following month, my granddaughter Edith gives birth to a son with my great-nephew Stephen, and they name the boy Eric. In the Republic of Bristol, a new constituency was established, meaning there would be an extra MP and Elector. A constituency was constructed in Warwick later in 828.
A 'recruit' is bringing me my food when he drops it on my foot by accident. It burns so much that my physician recommends amputating it. The surgery is a dramatic failure, and I am now infected with gangrene in my other leg. After a week of struggle, I slip in and out of consciousness on November 25th, the anniversary of my father's death.
(Three days later):
My heirs and the government join me as it is feared I will die shortly. I ask Prince Peter and Parliament to pass Constitutional Amendments to prevent another war in Ireland, which they agree to. I tell my wife and children that I love them, and finally everything goes dark.....
- 1
- 1
The British Empire III: The First Chaotic Era: Chapter I: The 828 General Election
With the death of Emperor Henry II, a General Election is to be held on December 1st 828. The Conservative Party's popularity increased because of their successful economic policy, which was alleviating the worst problems of the lockdown. Oliver Mitchell promised to build a great project in Middlesex if the Conservatives were re-elected. There were now 762 MPs and 763 Electors.
Election of 828 (382 MPs for a majority):
In Man, the Conservatives won all 6 seats. In Northern Ireland, the make-up was: 27 Conservative, 8 Liberal, 1 INP. In Ireland, the make-up was: 64 Conservative, 44 Liberal, 12 INP. Oliver Mitchell retained his position as Prime Minister.
Presidential Election of 828 (382 Electors to win): (No Primaries were held)
By Kingdom/Region:
England (115 Electors):
Scotland (34 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Moray, The Hebrides (14)
Liberal Regions: Albany, Strathclyde, Lothian (20)
Wales (29 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Powys, Glamorgan (13)
Liberal Regions: Gwynedd, Gower (16)
Man (1 Elector):
Conservative Region: Man (1)
Liberal Region: N/A (0)
Northern Ireland (6 Electors):
Conservative Region: Ulster (6)
Liberal Region: N/A (0)
Ireland (30 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Connacht, Meath (16)
Liberal Region: Leinster (6)
INP Region (Spoiler Candidate): Munster (8)
Francia (333 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Toulouse, Upper Burgundy, Brittany, Upper Brittany, Neustria, Picardy, Flanders, Brabant, Upper Lorraine, Alsace, Poitiers, Burgundy, Berry, Anjou, Paris, Champagne (212)
Liberal Regions: Penthievre, Blois, Lower Lorraine, Transjurania, Savoy, Provence, Dauphine, Gascony, Aquitaine, Bourbon, Auvergne (121)
Hispania (215 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Castille, Catalonia, Valencia, Toledo, Cordoba, Granada, Seville, Badajoz, Beja, Lisbon (138)
Liberal Regions: Murcia, Algarve, Galicia, Porto, Asturias, León, Navarre, Aragon (77)
National Result:
Conservative: 482 Electors
Liberal: 273 Electors
INP: 8 Electors
Conservatives win the Presidential Election. Laurence, 1st Duke of Warwick, becomes President, ending President Gloucester's second spell after just two years. Gloucester performed better than the Liberal Party did in the Parliamentary elections because of his popularity, but it wasn't enough to beat Warwick.
Emperor Peter appoints Prime Minister Mitchell and President Warwick and the Eleventh Parliament begins.....
Election of 828 (382 MPs for a majority):
| Party | Leader | Number of MPs | Outcome |
| Conservative Party | Oliver Mitchell (English, Anglican, 39, Dover) | 530 | Form Government |
| Liberal Party | Beorn Southpot (English, Anglican, 52, Preston) | 177 | In Opposition |
| INP | Snedgus Ui Diarmait (Irish, Catholic, 64, Desmond) | 5 | In Opposition |
| PNF | Pierre de Main (French, Catholic, 45, Corbeil) | 20 | In Opposition |
| IUF | Liuva d'Astorga (Visigothic, Catholic, 42, Astorga) | 30 | In Opposition |
In Man, the Conservatives won all 6 seats. In Northern Ireland, the make-up was: 27 Conservative, 8 Liberal, 1 INP. In Ireland, the make-up was: 64 Conservative, 44 Liberal, 12 INP. Oliver Mitchell retained his position as Prime Minister.
Presidential Election of 828 (382 Electors to win): (No Primaries were held)
By Kingdom/Region:
England (115 Electors):
| Party | Candidate | Regions Won | Number of Electors Won |
| Conservative Party | Duke Warwick (English, Anglican, 36, Warwick) | Warwick, York, Northumberland, Norfolk, Bedford, Bristol, Canterbury | 82 |
| Liberal Party | President Gloucester (English, Anglican, 38, Gloucester) | Gloucester, Lancaster, Cumberland, Winchester | 33 |
Conservative Regions: Moray, The Hebrides (14)
Liberal Regions: Albany, Strathclyde, Lothian (20)
Wales (29 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Powys, Glamorgan (13)
Liberal Regions: Gwynedd, Gower (16)
Man (1 Elector):
Conservative Region: Man (1)
Liberal Region: N/A (0)
Northern Ireland (6 Electors):
Conservative Region: Ulster (6)
Liberal Region: N/A (0)
Ireland (30 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Connacht, Meath (16)
Liberal Region: Leinster (6)
INP Region (Spoiler Candidate): Munster (8)
Francia (333 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Toulouse, Upper Burgundy, Brittany, Upper Brittany, Neustria, Picardy, Flanders, Brabant, Upper Lorraine, Alsace, Poitiers, Burgundy, Berry, Anjou, Paris, Champagne (212)
Liberal Regions: Penthievre, Blois, Lower Lorraine, Transjurania, Savoy, Provence, Dauphine, Gascony, Aquitaine, Bourbon, Auvergne (121)
Hispania (215 Electors):
Conservative Regions: Castille, Catalonia, Valencia, Toledo, Cordoba, Granada, Seville, Badajoz, Beja, Lisbon (138)
Liberal Regions: Murcia, Algarve, Galicia, Porto, Asturias, León, Navarre, Aragon (77)
National Result:
Conservative: 482 Electors
Liberal: 273 Electors
INP: 8 Electors
Conservatives win the Presidential Election. Laurence, 1st Duke of Warwick, becomes President, ending President Gloucester's second spell after just two years. Gloucester performed better than the Liberal Party did in the Parliamentary elections because of his popularity, but it wasn't enough to beat Warwick.
Emperor Peter appoints Prime Minister Mitchell and President Warwick and the Eleventh Parliament begins.....
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Boo, Hiss, Gloucester lost! Thanks. (My Gloucester leanings may be influenced by my address.)
Thanks. (My Gloucester leanings may be influenced by my address.)
He could win again, he'll just have to hope that lightning strikes twice (unpopular President with unsavoury secrets revealed (although, when you consider this is 800s Britain, the fact that Gloucester is gay should be a bit of a scandal in itself, but it isn't because time travel I guess))
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The British Empire III: The First Chaotic Era: Chapter II: Why Bread Should Be Banned
On December 1st 828, Parliament met to vote on the Great Project that would be constructed in Middlesex. The Conservative Party was split on the matter. Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell suggested that a Royal Palace be created so that the Emperor and his family could live outside of the shed. James Rack suggested that a Grand University be built to educate future leaders of the Empire. Wayne Westfield (of no relation to the infamous Joseph Westfield) suggested constructing a Grand Library to record the words of wise men. Gordon Nathaniel suggested building a Grand Fortress around the shed to protect it better (linking back to the death of Henry I in the Battle of the Shed). The retired former Conservative Party leader Mark Milkman wrote in a suggestion to build a Grand Cathedral. Finally, a group of backbenchers suggested an Imperial Mausoleum.
For what its worth, the Liberals and Beorn Southpot were opposed to public funds being spent (completely) so they didn't make a suggestion. The IUF and PNF requested that Francia and Iberia be the focus of future Conservative investment in Great Projects. However, what the INP and its leader did would shock everyone. Snedgus Ui Diarmait threw a loaf of bread at the Prime Minister (again), which wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part was when he started ripping his clothes off which revealed they were made of bread. He threw the bread at everyone. There was a sense of great discomfort, as there was now a naked old man throwing bread everywhere. Snedgus said "Is mise arán. Bhí arán orm ach nuair a bhí mé óg, ní raibh arán orm, bhí arán agam. An bhfuil libh arán?"
Most of the Parliament couldn't speak Irish, but to translate to English, he was saying "I am bread. I was wearing bread (literally: bread was on me) but when I was young, I did not wear bread, I had bread (literally: bread was not on me, I had bread). Are you all bread?" Snedgus was thrown out of Parliament and into the dungeon with the rats. The Conservative Party tried to get back on topic, but the rest of the INP started throwing bread at Prime Minister Mitchell in solidarity with their arrested leader. James Rack whispered to Oliver Mitchell "Should we ban bread seeing as these lot treat it as a weapon?". The Prime Minister refused as bread is a staple food for many people. Instead he suggested referring the INP to the Supreme Court. "Can we get this session back on topic, please, or does anyone else wish to make a fool of himself and his constituents" Mitchell stated.
The vote took place, and the results were in. A Grand Cathedral was to built in Middlesex. This Cathedral was to be called Westminster Abbey based on its location. Prime Minister Mitchell did not rule out building the palace elsewhere in Bedford if the funds allowed for it. Constructions Minister Rack stated that either Cambridge or Oxford would make a fine location for a Grand University, Mr. Westfield suggested that a Library be constructed somewhere, Mr. Nathaniel suggested the Fortress could be located in Granada of all places and the backbenchers suggested Chester as the location of the Mausoleum. However, even just one of these Great Projects would be expensive, so the Conservative Party could not afford any more grandiose election promises.
The Great Bread Matter, as some called the whole Snedgus debacle, would become a major talking point in coming days....
For what its worth, the Liberals and Beorn Southpot were opposed to public funds being spent (completely) so they didn't make a suggestion. The IUF and PNF requested that Francia and Iberia be the focus of future Conservative investment in Great Projects. However, what the INP and its leader did would shock everyone. Snedgus Ui Diarmait threw a loaf of bread at the Prime Minister (again), which wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part was when he started ripping his clothes off which revealed they were made of bread. He threw the bread at everyone. There was a sense of great discomfort, as there was now a naked old man throwing bread everywhere. Snedgus said "Is mise arán. Bhí arán orm ach nuair a bhí mé óg, ní raibh arán orm, bhí arán agam. An bhfuil libh arán?"
Most of the Parliament couldn't speak Irish, but to translate to English, he was saying "I am bread. I was wearing bread (literally: bread was on me) but when I was young, I did not wear bread, I had bread (literally: bread was not on me, I had bread). Are you all bread?" Snedgus was thrown out of Parliament and into the dungeon with the rats. The Conservative Party tried to get back on topic, but the rest of the INP started throwing bread at Prime Minister Mitchell in solidarity with their arrested leader. James Rack whispered to Oliver Mitchell "Should we ban bread seeing as these lot treat it as a weapon?". The Prime Minister refused as bread is a staple food for many people. Instead he suggested referring the INP to the Supreme Court. "Can we get this session back on topic, please, or does anyone else wish to make a fool of himself and his constituents" Mitchell stated.
The vote took place, and the results were in. A Grand Cathedral was to built in Middlesex. This Cathedral was to be called Westminster Abbey based on its location. Prime Minister Mitchell did not rule out building the palace elsewhere in Bedford if the funds allowed for it. Constructions Minister Rack stated that either Cambridge or Oxford would make a fine location for a Grand University, Mr. Westfield suggested that a Library be constructed somewhere, Mr. Nathaniel suggested the Fortress could be located in Granada of all places and the backbenchers suggested Chester as the location of the Mausoleum. However, even just one of these Great Projects would be expensive, so the Conservative Party could not afford any more grandiose election promises.
The Great Bread Matter, as some called the whole Snedgus debacle, would become a major talking point in coming days....
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The British Empire III: The First Chaotic Era: Chapter III: The Great Bread Matter
December 4th 828:
Despite a national lockdown, thousands of protestors gathered outside Parliament to argue for the release of Snedgus Ui Diarmait. Then again, the INP believed that the lockdown was unjustified and that all diseases could be cured by drinking a mixture of bread and blood. The protestors surrounded the shed, and said they would only leave if Ui Diarmait was released and given an official apology by Prime Minister Mitchell. The Conservative Party refused to release Snedgus, and instead called on the Supreme Court to try him and bread. A trial date was set for December 7th.
December 5th 828:
The protestors continued to surround the shed. Snedgus Óg, the son of Snedgus, and a MLP from Cork in the Devolved Irish Parliament, arrived in Westminster to command the crowd. He demanded that his father be released and that the Prime Minister become an adherent of "The One True God Bob And His Holy Bread". Mitchell not only refused, but ordered the army to break up the protests, imprison the crowd, and make them co-defendants, with the additional charge of breaking lockdown rules.
December 6th 828:
Ben, Jeff and Fred had an emergency meeting. Their words are colour coded below (Blue - Jeff, Orange - Fred, Grey - Ben):
"What the (redacted) is going on?"
"What date is it tomorrow?"
"December 7th, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Everything. You both have all your memories of what happens in your other worlds, right?"
"Yes" "Yes"
"It would appear that The Scriptwriters have decided that chaos mode is on, or maybe they already decided that at the beginning."
"He can't come here, can he? Lord John, I mean."
"No, the Guardian has made sure of it, but his presence can still be felt, he can still corrupt people with his darkness."
"How can we be sure, Ben? Isn't the Guardian dead?"
"Yes and no. He's dead in the sense that he can't just rock up and solve our problems. But he's still influencing us all, from the central world, a place like this one, where all Guardians live"
"Huh?"
"How do you think crossovers happen? Our Guardian explained it to me, that the Tether connects our universe to a place called Earth, which in turn is connected to the other parts of the multiverse. On Earth, the people known as authors are actually Guardians, who teach those not as lucky to have born with such a gift about the rest of the multiverse."
"So, why would chaos mode be on?"
"Usually, it means that the Guardian is going through a depressive spell, or Lord John is taking control, or Mr. Pervert is being philosophical. However sometimes the Guardian just likes to be chaotic."
"Am I going to die like I do in every story bar the one on your planet (I know I came back in Restoration, but we all did. I surely would have died in Chaos if its Snedgus hadn't started eating everything. In Anthology, I hadn't even shown up by the time it was canned)?"
"I can't say"
"You're a (redacted) seer Ben, if you can't say, who can?"
"Fred, we both know the rules, we have knowledge of what happens to us in all other universes, but we can't know about the one we currently reside in to prevent us from altering the script."
"Correct. I have a theory as to what's going on. In 2023, the Guardian starts the process of becoming an author on Earth to writing down the goings on in our universe, but he keeps discouraging himself from continuing because of his depressive thoughts. It could be that the chaos is being caused by him giving up on that."
"But why would that cause the chaos?"
"Because if a Guardian doesn't complete the transition to an Author, their universe is lost to time when they die on Earth. Usually the Tether shatters, we are separated from Earth permanently, and the only way our story can ever be told is if the Guardian appointed a designated successor, but that usually causes a universe merger, which prunes 'unnecessary' people. The chaos is said to be a way to force the Guardian to finish what they started."
"So killed by a serial killer, blown up by a terrorist, and surviving by virtue of being a background character in each of the three major worlds for me"
"So briefly mentioned in a remark by a true crime podcaster, becoming US President, and meeting your political archrival once for me"
"So unmentioned, mentioned in the Guardian's inner workings as Lord John takes over, and dying fighting my future grandson-in-law on the command of the Dark Lord himself."
"What's the difference between Lord John and the Dark Lord?"
"Lord John is the unacknowledged trauma, mental illness or some other thing consuming the Guardian and turning him from a caring and honest young man into a hypocritical grifter. The Dark Lord is the embodiment of true evil. Lord John says he wishes to be known as the most evil individual to ever live, but none can outdo the Dark Lord. Lord John is fundamentally the same person as the Guardian, just corrupted by his inner demons. The Dark Lord is the antithesis to the Guardian, but this is in the sense of how your God is opposed by an individual called Satan."
"I still don't understand"
"The Dark Lord indirectly causes all evil in the universe by corrupting the individuals who show signs of being easily corrupted. Lord John often makes outrageous claims and statements, and spouts a lot of conspiracy theories, but there isn't genuine contempt half of the time, he's just fanning the flames of a cult that worships him and convincing them to buy his merch. He would have been a dictator, but the whole arena thing wasn't going to happen, because he wasn't going to kill off a huge portion of an already small population he wanted to make his world's (and Earth's, if given the chance) main economic, cultural, scientific and sporting superpower. And most importantly, the Dark Lord only exists in our universe, there are other Dark Lords across the multiverse, but they are different individuals. Lord John exists in a weak state on Earth, but is growing stronger as the Guardian's mental health declines."
"But what are we going to do to stop the chaos?"
"Convince the Guardian that he will be a good Author, somehow, and also make sure Lord John is kept under lock and key, but can still contribute to the script. Oh, I nearly forgot, make sure Mr. Pervert doesn't end up getting the Guardian arrested, while still contributing to the script."
"What's his deal?"
"He's convinced that the Guardian is the most attractive individual on Earth, but that his disability is the only reason that women don't want to date him. He basically flip-flops between supporting the Guardian and buying into Lord John's conspiracy theories. He also believes that crimes are only illegal if you are actually caught."
"But if Lord John and Mr. Pervert are so dangerous, why are they needed for the script?"
"I tried to tell him that they are a part of who he is, they just are extreme manifestations of his trauma or mental illness (I'm not sure which one, or it could be some third unexplained cause) (in Lord John's case) and his sexuality (in Mr. Pervert's case), the reason why only they show up as 'voices in his head' is because they are the parts of his identity that he villainises and subconsciously embellishes, people on Earth have tried to tell him the same, but he's convinced that they're tearing him apart. And although they do have issues, they are also extremely creative. Lord John has an interest in politics, the Guardian has an interest in psychology and popular culture, and well, Mr. Pervert's interest is 'conversation'. A good script usually has at least two of the four."
"Isn't there supposed to be a trial tomorrow?"
"Yeah, there is"
"Oops, I forgot. Like the Guardian, I tend to get lost in planning things. We best get ready to watch tomorrow's trial."
The trio left their emergency meeting and prepared for the trial, which begins tomorrow....
Despite a national lockdown, thousands of protestors gathered outside Parliament to argue for the release of Snedgus Ui Diarmait. Then again, the INP believed that the lockdown was unjustified and that all diseases could be cured by drinking a mixture of bread and blood. The protestors surrounded the shed, and said they would only leave if Ui Diarmait was released and given an official apology by Prime Minister Mitchell. The Conservative Party refused to release Snedgus, and instead called on the Supreme Court to try him and bread. A trial date was set for December 7th.
December 5th 828:
The protestors continued to surround the shed. Snedgus Óg, the son of Snedgus, and a MLP from Cork in the Devolved Irish Parliament, arrived in Westminster to command the crowd. He demanded that his father be released and that the Prime Minister become an adherent of "The One True God Bob And His Holy Bread". Mitchell not only refused, but ordered the army to break up the protests, imprison the crowd, and make them co-defendants, with the additional charge of breaking lockdown rules.
December 6th 828:
Ben, Jeff and Fred had an emergency meeting. Their words are colour coded below (Blue - Jeff, Orange - Fred, Grey - Ben):
"What the (redacted) is going on?"
"What date is it tomorrow?"
"December 7th, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Everything. You both have all your memories of what happens in your other worlds, right?"
"Yes" "Yes"
"It would appear that The Scriptwriters have decided that chaos mode is on, or maybe they already decided that at the beginning."
"He can't come here, can he? Lord John, I mean."
"No, the Guardian has made sure of it, but his presence can still be felt, he can still corrupt people with his darkness."
"How can we be sure, Ben? Isn't the Guardian dead?"
"Yes and no. He's dead in the sense that he can't just rock up and solve our problems. But he's still influencing us all, from the central world, a place like this one, where all Guardians live"
"Huh?"
"How do you think crossovers happen? Our Guardian explained it to me, that the Tether connects our universe to a place called Earth, which in turn is connected to the other parts of the multiverse. On Earth, the people known as authors are actually Guardians, who teach those not as lucky to have born with such a gift about the rest of the multiverse."
"So, why would chaos mode be on?"
"Usually, it means that the Guardian is going through a depressive spell, or Lord John is taking control, or Mr. Pervert is being philosophical. However sometimes the Guardian just likes to be chaotic."
"Am I going to die like I do in every story bar the one on your planet (I know I came back in Restoration, but we all did. I surely would have died in Chaos if its Snedgus hadn't started eating everything. In Anthology, I hadn't even shown up by the time it was canned)?"
"I can't say"
"You're a (redacted) seer Ben, if you can't say, who can?"
"Fred, we both know the rules, we have knowledge of what happens to us in all other universes, but we can't know about the one we currently reside in to prevent us from altering the script."
"Correct. I have a theory as to what's going on. In 2023, the Guardian starts the process of becoming an author on Earth to writing down the goings on in our universe, but he keeps discouraging himself from continuing because of his depressive thoughts. It could be that the chaos is being caused by him giving up on that."
"But why would that cause the chaos?"
"Because if a Guardian doesn't complete the transition to an Author, their universe is lost to time when they die on Earth. Usually the Tether shatters, we are separated from Earth permanently, and the only way our story can ever be told is if the Guardian appointed a designated successor, but that usually causes a universe merger, which prunes 'unnecessary' people. The chaos is said to be a way to force the Guardian to finish what they started."
"So killed by a serial killer, blown up by a terrorist, and surviving by virtue of being a background character in each of the three major worlds for me"
"So briefly mentioned in a remark by a true crime podcaster, becoming US President, and meeting your political archrival once for me"
"So unmentioned, mentioned in the Guardian's inner workings as Lord John takes over, and dying fighting my future grandson-in-law on the command of the Dark Lord himself."
"What's the difference between Lord John and the Dark Lord?"
"Lord John is the unacknowledged trauma, mental illness or some other thing consuming the Guardian and turning him from a caring and honest young man into a hypocritical grifter. The Dark Lord is the embodiment of true evil. Lord John says he wishes to be known as the most evil individual to ever live, but none can outdo the Dark Lord. Lord John is fundamentally the same person as the Guardian, just corrupted by his inner demons. The Dark Lord is the antithesis to the Guardian, but this is in the sense of how your God is opposed by an individual called Satan."
"I still don't understand"
"The Dark Lord indirectly causes all evil in the universe by corrupting the individuals who show signs of being easily corrupted. Lord John often makes outrageous claims and statements, and spouts a lot of conspiracy theories, but there isn't genuine contempt half of the time, he's just fanning the flames of a cult that worships him and convincing them to buy his merch. He would have been a dictator, but the whole arena thing wasn't going to happen, because he wasn't going to kill off a huge portion of an already small population he wanted to make his world's (and Earth's, if given the chance) main economic, cultural, scientific and sporting superpower. And most importantly, the Dark Lord only exists in our universe, there are other Dark Lords across the multiverse, but they are different individuals. Lord John exists in a weak state on Earth, but is growing stronger as the Guardian's mental health declines."
"But what are we going to do to stop the chaos?"
"Convince the Guardian that he will be a good Author, somehow, and also make sure Lord John is kept under lock and key, but can still contribute to the script. Oh, I nearly forgot, make sure Mr. Pervert doesn't end up getting the Guardian arrested, while still contributing to the script."
"What's his deal?"
"He's convinced that the Guardian is the most attractive individual on Earth, but that his disability is the only reason that women don't want to date him. He basically flip-flops between supporting the Guardian and buying into Lord John's conspiracy theories. He also believes that crimes are only illegal if you are actually caught."
"But if Lord John and Mr. Pervert are so dangerous, why are they needed for the script?"
"I tried to tell him that they are a part of who he is, they just are extreme manifestations of his trauma or mental illness (I'm not sure which one, or it could be some third unexplained cause) (in Lord John's case) and his sexuality (in Mr. Pervert's case), the reason why only they show up as 'voices in his head' is because they are the parts of his identity that he villainises and subconsciously embellishes, people on Earth have tried to tell him the same, but he's convinced that they're tearing him apart. And although they do have issues, they are also extremely creative. Lord John has an interest in politics, the Guardian has an interest in psychology and popular culture, and well, Mr. Pervert's interest is 'conversation'. A good script usually has at least two of the four."
"Isn't there supposed to be a trial tomorrow?"
"Yeah, there is"
"Oops, I forgot. Like the Guardian, I tend to get lost in planning things. We best get ready to watch tomorrow's trial."
The trio left their emergency meeting and prepared for the trial, which begins tomorrow....
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So the chaos has begun, meaning there will be less frequent uploads, but they will be much much longer.
Ben, Jeff and Fred are the main stars of this period, meaning there will be little to no gameplay involved.
Ben, Jeff and Fred are the main stars of this period, meaning there will be little to no gameplay involved.
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The British Empire III: The First Chaotic Era: Chapter IV: The Trial of Bread (aka the Crime Novel Reference)
December 7th 828:
The Supreme Court of the British Empire is preparing to try INP Leader Snedgus Ui Diarmait for throwing bread at the Prime Minister. Of course, this case could determine if throwing bread is actually a crime or not. Gathered in the court is every defendant (i.e. the entire INP), each of the 10 Supreme Court Justices, the victim Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell, our band of heroes and some mystery figures.
Chief Justice: "We are here today to try the Irish Nationalist Party and its leader Snedgus Ui Diarmait for charges of assault and public indecency. How do you plea?"
Snedgus: "Is mise arán."
Associate Justice 1: "I don't think that he can speak English."
Associate Justice 8 (who is half-Irish): "Cad atá a phléadáil?"
Snedgus: "Arán."
Associate Justice 3: "WHAT IS YOUR PLEA?"
Snedgus: "Is mise arán."
Associate Justice 2: "Seeing as he won't plea, can we move on to the evidence section?"
Chief Justice: "No, we can't. We don't want to be sued."
Associate Justice 4: "I'm sure the Emperor won't mind."
Chief Justice: "It isn't about whether or not the Emperor minds, it is about principle. If we imprison him without a fair trial he could end up being released."
Snedgus: "Arán."
Associate Justice 5: "Does he only say bread?"
Associate Justice 6: "It appears to be so."
Snedgus: "Cad is ainm duit? Is mise arán."
Associate Justice 7: "Please stop saying bread and enter your plea."
Associate Justice 8: "Stop ag abair arán agus abair a phléadáil."
Snedgus: "Pléadálaim arán."
Associate Justice 9: "This is hopeless."
Chief Justice: "If you do not make a plea in the next minute, you will be convicted automatically."
Associate Justice 8: "Ná déanfá tú pléadáil i nóiméad amháín, ciontfaidh tú láithreach."
Snedgus: "Arán."
Chief Justice: "Snedgus Ui Diarmait, I hereby convict you of assault and public indecency. I sentence you to 5 weeks in prison."
Ben, Jeff and Fred had witnessed all of this as it went on. They discussed it in the shed once everyone else had dispersed. (Colour scheme for conversation stated in previous Chapter):
"Well that was a farce."
"Yet strangely it's probably only scraping the top ten farcical trials in our universe."
"Hang on, what could be more chaotic then the defendant constantly pleading bread?"
"Off the top of my head, a five year trial to convict a man who had been killing on and off for thirty years who never really denied that he committed them but refused to plead guilty."
"Ah, that's from the major world where I get killed by a serial killer, as in it takes them five years to actually convict him?"
"Yes."
"Matthew was right, the justice system only favours criminals, not victims."
"Hang on, this is the world where I'm referred to in a throwaway line by a true crime podcaster that more so references the obsession people have with true crime. Wasn't the killer a celebrity?"
"Correct."
"Yeah, he's Matthew's famous detective uncle who inspired him to become a detective."
"How come he didn't get caught earlier?"
"He kept destroying evidence and he had a certain charm that made people look the other way. Mr. Wilson knew that his uncle had a lot of incredibly controversial opinions, but constantly defended his character, despite believing that those opinions were morally wrong."
"But how could the authorities be so incompetent to not notice he was destroying evidence?"
"There was only 1 officer and 4 detectives in the office. The officer was usually away arresting whoever was being framed for the murders at any given time, and he killed off the other 2 detectives, who had spent most of their time alive bickering over 'culture wars'."
"And Matthew was shaking off the years of emotional abuse from his uncle before he was actually able to catch him, with the help of another detective from out of town (but extremely familiar to him) and a true crime podcaster."
"Hang on, if that's all it took to catch him, why didn't they send in someone from outside quicker?"
"Nobody sent the other detective, she came of her own accord while on a sabbatical. The podcaster had moved to the local area in the hopes of interviewing the main suspects of the murders (i.e. the people Mr. Wilson's uncle consistently tried to frame)."
"Why would a random detective decide to come solve an admittedly famous case while on sabbatical?"
"She was from the area originally. She's Matthew's first and only love but her parents forced her to move away because they didn't like him, and there was no good reason to dislike him."
"But how did all of this lead to a five year case?"
"He's a celebrity, so his fans protested outside the court saying that he was framed and that the two people he consistently tried to frame, a retired sex offender and Mr. Wilson's former Maths teacher, were actually working together. There was just one problem, they had been killed, so the fans blamed the next most obvious criminal, Mr. Wilson, despite the fact his entire family (with the exception of his uncle) had been brutally murdered when he was 16. He also refused to plead guilty and the prosecution didn't want to convict him until they had the identities of all 300+ of his victims (because obviously he wouldn't survive in prison because of the additional thing he'd do after killing his female victims, and the age of some of them). This all led to a farcical five year trial in which there is a change of government which decides that 'actually, we want to convict him to help our chances of re-election'."
"Doesn't Lord John like to bring this up a lot?"
"Yeah, while the Guardian rubs off a lot on Mr. Wilson, what with his slight naivete but kind heart, Lord John and Mr. Pervert are brought together to give you the killer of this world. He doesn't like to mention that he was part of the inspiration, but he does say at rallies that if his cultists don't behave, the killer will go after them. Yes, he seems to think that it is a true story."
Ben, Jeff and Fred leave their conversation for now, and prepare the next stage of their adventure. A debate had been planned between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition for December 10th, and the trio were going to attend....
The Supreme Court of the British Empire is preparing to try INP Leader Snedgus Ui Diarmait for throwing bread at the Prime Minister. Of course, this case could determine if throwing bread is actually a crime or not. Gathered in the court is every defendant (i.e. the entire INP), each of the 10 Supreme Court Justices, the victim Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell, our band of heroes and some mystery figures.
Chief Justice: "We are here today to try the Irish Nationalist Party and its leader Snedgus Ui Diarmait for charges of assault and public indecency. How do you plea?"
Snedgus: "Is mise arán."
Associate Justice 1: "I don't think that he can speak English."
Associate Justice 8 (who is half-Irish): "Cad atá a phléadáil?"
Snedgus: "Arán."
Associate Justice 3: "WHAT IS YOUR PLEA?"
Snedgus: "Is mise arán."
Associate Justice 2: "Seeing as he won't plea, can we move on to the evidence section?"
Chief Justice: "No, we can't. We don't want to be sued."
Associate Justice 4: "I'm sure the Emperor won't mind."
Chief Justice: "It isn't about whether or not the Emperor minds, it is about principle. If we imprison him without a fair trial he could end up being released."
Snedgus: "Arán."
Associate Justice 5: "Does he only say bread?"
Associate Justice 6: "It appears to be so."
Snedgus: "Cad is ainm duit? Is mise arán."
Associate Justice 7: "Please stop saying bread and enter your plea."
Associate Justice 8: "Stop ag abair arán agus abair a phléadáil."
Snedgus: "Pléadálaim arán."
Associate Justice 9: "This is hopeless."
Chief Justice: "If you do not make a plea in the next minute, you will be convicted automatically."
Associate Justice 8: "Ná déanfá tú pléadáil i nóiméad amháín, ciontfaidh tú láithreach."
Snedgus: "Arán."
Chief Justice: "Snedgus Ui Diarmait, I hereby convict you of assault and public indecency. I sentence you to 5 weeks in prison."
Ben, Jeff and Fred had witnessed all of this as it went on. They discussed it in the shed once everyone else had dispersed. (Colour scheme for conversation stated in previous Chapter):
"Well that was a farce."
"Yet strangely it's probably only scraping the top ten farcical trials in our universe."
"Hang on, what could be more chaotic then the defendant constantly pleading bread?"
"Off the top of my head, a five year trial to convict a man who had been killing on and off for thirty years who never really denied that he committed them but refused to plead guilty."
"Ah, that's from the major world where I get killed by a serial killer, as in it takes them five years to actually convict him?"
"Yes."
"Matthew was right, the justice system only favours criminals, not victims."
"Hang on, this is the world where I'm referred to in a throwaway line by a true crime podcaster that more so references the obsession people have with true crime. Wasn't the killer a celebrity?"
"Correct."
"Yeah, he's Matthew's famous detective uncle who inspired him to become a detective."
"How come he didn't get caught earlier?"
"He kept destroying evidence and he had a certain charm that made people look the other way. Mr. Wilson knew that his uncle had a lot of incredibly controversial opinions, but constantly defended his character, despite believing that those opinions were morally wrong."
"But how could the authorities be so incompetent to not notice he was destroying evidence?"
"There was only 1 officer and 4 detectives in the office. The officer was usually away arresting whoever was being framed for the murders at any given time, and he killed off the other 2 detectives, who had spent most of their time alive bickering over 'culture wars'."
"And Matthew was shaking off the years of emotional abuse from his uncle before he was actually able to catch him, with the help of another detective from out of town (but extremely familiar to him) and a true crime podcaster."
"Hang on, if that's all it took to catch him, why didn't they send in someone from outside quicker?"
"Nobody sent the other detective, she came of her own accord while on a sabbatical. The podcaster had moved to the local area in the hopes of interviewing the main suspects of the murders (i.e. the people Mr. Wilson's uncle consistently tried to frame)."
"Why would a random detective decide to come solve an admittedly famous case while on sabbatical?"
"She was from the area originally. She's Matthew's first and only love but her parents forced her to move away because they didn't like him, and there was no good reason to dislike him."
"But how did all of this lead to a five year case?"
"He's a celebrity, so his fans protested outside the court saying that he was framed and that the two people he consistently tried to frame, a retired sex offender and Mr. Wilson's former Maths teacher, were actually working together. There was just one problem, they had been killed, so the fans blamed the next most obvious criminal, Mr. Wilson, despite the fact his entire family (with the exception of his uncle) had been brutally murdered when he was 16. He also refused to plead guilty and the prosecution didn't want to convict him until they had the identities of all 300+ of his victims (because obviously he wouldn't survive in prison because of the additional thing he'd do after killing his female victims, and the age of some of them). This all led to a farcical five year trial in which there is a change of government which decides that 'actually, we want to convict him to help our chances of re-election'."
"Doesn't Lord John like to bring this up a lot?"
"Yeah, while the Guardian rubs off a lot on Mr. Wilson, what with his slight naivete but kind heart, Lord John and Mr. Pervert are brought together to give you the killer of this world. He doesn't like to mention that he was part of the inspiration, but he does say at rallies that if his cultists don't behave, the killer will go after them. Yes, he seems to think that it is a true story."
Ben, Jeff and Fred leave their conversation for now, and prepare the next stage of their adventure. A debate had been planned between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition for December 10th, and the trio were going to attend....
- 1
- 1
The British Empire III: The First Chaotic Era: Chapter V: The Great Bread Debate (aka the Political Novel Reference)
December 10th 828:
The shed is set up for a debate between Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell and Leader of the Opposition Beorn Southpot. The entirety of the shed's population (the MPs, the royal family, and the three heroes) was gathered to watch.
Moderator: "Today we will listen to a short and formal debate between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition. It better not be a repeat of the 811 debacle. Thank you."
Mitchell: "As your Prime Minister, I have led this great country for just over 7 years. In that short time we have constructed improvements to the constituencies of the Empire. Yes, there has been some challenges, but on the whole, the country has improved under Conservative leadership."
Southpot: "The current trajectory of this country is disgraceful. The Prime Minister's lockdowns have decimated the economy and the diseases are showing no signs of going away. The Liberal Party is committed to ending the lockdowns and rebuilding the economy."
Mitchell: "Erm... You do realise that this debate is about the recent trial, don't you?"
Southpot: "Yes, yes, but the trial was an excuse to deflect from your government's mismanagement of the Empire. Snedgus Ui Diarmait may be a weird fellow, but he did not deserve jail time for throwing nutritious food at you, Mr. Prime Minister."
Mitchell: "And what about the precedent it would set? How would we decide what can or can't be thrown at the Prime Minister?"
Southpot: "It's not about the precedent, it's about the freedom of expression. If that is how Mr. Ui Diarmait decides to express himself, who are we to stop him?"
Mitchell: "Didn't you throw Ui Diarmait out of the Liberal Party for throwing bread at you during the leadership election?"
Southpot: "That was different."
Mitchell: "Really? To me it just reeks of 'one rule for me, another for everyone else.'"
Southpot: "Throwing someone out of a political party and imprisoning them are two extremely different things."
Mitchell: (Imitating Southpot's voice) "It's not about the precedent, it's about the freedom of expression. If that is how Mr. Ui Diarmait decides to express himself, who are we to stop him?"
Southpot: "Membership of a political party has nothing to do with freedom of expression. It is up to the party to decide what behaviour is acceptable and what behaviour is unacceptable."
Mitchell: "Membership of a functioning society has nothing to do with freedom of expression. It is up to the government and the judiciary to decide what behaviour is legal and what behaviour is illegal."
Southpot: "Since when is bread illegal? Bread is delicious food."
Mitchell: "Bread is delicious, and it isn't illegal. Assaulting someone by throwing bread at them is."
Southpot: "Assault? You don't even have a scratch."
Mitchell: "Assault doesn't just cover physical violence, Mr. Southpot, I thought you would understand that considering it was the late Sir Roger Aster who assisted the judiciary in setting the legal definition of assault in the British Empire."
Moderator: "Get back on topic!"
Mitchell: "Right. Back to the matter at hand. We were debating whether or not Ui Diarmait's sentence was too harsh or too lenient."
Southpot: "It was far too harsh. He should have been forced to apologise at the absolute most."
Mitchell: "It was far too lenient. He got only 5 weeks in prison, he should have gotten at a minimum 5 years."
Moderator: "That's all we have time for today, goodbye everybody."
The three heroes, Ben, Jeff and Fred, remained in their seats even after everyone else had left. They began to discuss the debate.
"That was pretty mild, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, but anything would look mild in comparison to July 4th 2044."
"Ah, I'm dead in that world by 2044, what happened?"
"To start, in 2028, I helped a third party win the US Presidential Election (because one party was in total disarray after their candidate for 2024 was imprisoned and the incumbent party decided to pick the most incompetent candidate in history, when they had a two-term Vice-President ready to take over). The 47th President, Albert Jones, serves one term until his assassination on October 23rd 2032 (yes, just under 2 weeks before the election) during a coup by the 48th President, Henry Theodosius Smith. Despite being just 30 years old, Smith is declared President by the army and a group of sympathisers in Congress, and acknowledging his severe election weaknesses (namely his belief that women are responsible for everything wrong in the world), strangles the competition."
"Jeff, I know that, I died when his supporters stormed the Capitol to prevent the Designated Survivor from taking over. Get to the point, because I sure know Smith wasn't going to be having a debate on Independence Day."
"True, it was Lord John who was the main figure of the debate. On October 23rd, while the US was in the midst of a coup, Lord John revealed that he had faked his death and emerged as the leader of a movement that called themselves Intellect Est Supreme. Over the course of 11 and a half years, he built his support base and wealth to prepare for his takeover of the Irish state. As he was building his movement, a coalition government appointed a leader who lasted for 4 weeks, which sent the economy spiraling to levels of inflation not seen since the 20s. The 1920s, to be precise. Then there were a few more leaders before they landed on a man named Marcus O'Donnell, who was seen as a hero who prevented IES from winning the 2039 General Election. When O'Donnell was appointed in October 2042, his approval rating was in the low 60s. Remember that. Lord John's was in the high 30s but had been slowly yet steadily rising since 2032."
"So how did O'Donnell go from hero to clearly having a catastrophic debate performance in less than two years?"
"The problem with the approval ratings is that it didn't take into account the disastrous state of the economy, the popularity of the moderate wing of IES with the general public, and that O'Donnell's addiction and marital troubles hadn't come to light yet."
"The thing was, O'Donnell didn't stop IES from winning in 2039, Lord John cost his movement the chance to win, because the entire manifesto of the coalition by 2039 was 'keep Lord John from power at all costs' and he was seen as far too extreme. The period from October 2042 to July 2044 saw a radical shift in Irish politics. In 2034 and 2039, the coalition retained power (albeit by the skin of their teeth in '39) because voters were voting against IES and Lord John. O'Donnell's incompetent leadership, which included bringing back the 4-week guy to a major role in Cabinet (to unsuccessfully try and stop the moderate right from going to IES), to alienating the left to the point that most of them were just going to stay at home and a minority went to IES. By the time of the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating had declined to approximately 15% while Lord John's had only risen to about 45%. However, the approval ratings had never taken into account voters who didn't approve of either but indicated they would vote for who they saw as the lesser of two evils."
"If O'Donnell's approval rating was so low, why didn't his party try to remove him?"
"They felt there wasn't enough time until the election. But also, O'Donnell's main skill was debating, while his main opponent had never debated in his life and his rallies consisted of people worshipping him. There was a consensus in the coalition that if O'Donnell screwed up the debate, then IES would win a landslide in the election even if they changed leader."
"So how did he screw up?"
"A number of reasons. Firstly, his reputation was in the gutter, meaning his skills as an orator didn't mean much. Secondly, the effects of his addiction were intensifying (he had a minor overdose the day before the debate). Thirdly, he was always too cautious and unwilling to fight back against Lord John's increasingly personal attacks for fear of losing the moral high ground. Fourthly, the coalition hadn't factored in the possibility that Lord John's protege would turn out to be an excellent orator despite his youth (he was just 19), and brought a pretty sizable minority (that he was a member of) into the IES fold. And finally, Lord John was coherent, at least by his rambling standards. He did accuse celebrities of being AI-Generated (note, not their work, but the celebrities themselves) and went on a 15-minute tangent about bread at one point, but he also successfully unveiled his ambitious, 2000-page manifesto which laid out the vision IES had for the next century."
"Before the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating was 15% and Lord John's was 45%. The polling indicated that out of those who would vote for anybody, the coalition would win 37% of seats, while IES would win 55% (Independents would win the rest). After the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating slipped to 5%, Lord John's rose to 51%, and the polling shifted to 17% coalition, 75% IES and 8% Independents. Note that the Independent vote was projected to remain constant, the shift was from reluctant coalition to reluctant IES. Remember the protege? His approval rating after his cameo at the debate was a whopping 72%, the highest of anyone in the country. The main thing was that voters hoped that Lord John's ramblings were a sign of declining health (despite being in his late 30s) and that IES could force him to stand aside in favour of his more coherent, more popular protege."
"If we infer what we know about Lord John, how could anyone screw up against him? Surely people would have to set aside their differences to stop him?"
"That was the problem. Lord John was more than happy to take advantage of coalition infighting, and present it as a case for his proposed dictatorship. He utilised the economic plight to advocate for his control over the economy (as he had stopped raising prices at his businesses in 2040, and was still a billionaire). He used the public breakdown of O'Donnell's marriage caused by his affairs to advocate for a return to an older age of morality. He used circumstantial evidence or flimsy scientific research to advance his agenda. He took advantage of church scandals to stir up anti-religious hatred and to advocate for a complete crackdown on religion. Of course, his most powerful weapons were charm and fear. He charmed a movement to become a tool for his own agenda, and scared a significant amount of the population into supporting him."
"People were just fed up with the coalition's incompetence and corruption, so many of them turned to the one alternative they had. Well, there was another, but they had no interest in elections, just in assassinating politicians."
The heroes left and prepared for the next mission, which would involve time travel (sort of).....
The shed is set up for a debate between Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell and Leader of the Opposition Beorn Southpot. The entirety of the shed's population (the MPs, the royal family, and the three heroes) was gathered to watch.
Moderator: "Today we will listen to a short and formal debate between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition. It better not be a repeat of the 811 debacle. Thank you."
Mitchell: "As your Prime Minister, I have led this great country for just over 7 years. In that short time we have constructed improvements to the constituencies of the Empire. Yes, there has been some challenges, but on the whole, the country has improved under Conservative leadership."
Southpot: "The current trajectory of this country is disgraceful. The Prime Minister's lockdowns have decimated the economy and the diseases are showing no signs of going away. The Liberal Party is committed to ending the lockdowns and rebuilding the economy."
Mitchell: "Erm... You do realise that this debate is about the recent trial, don't you?"
Southpot: "Yes, yes, but the trial was an excuse to deflect from your government's mismanagement of the Empire. Snedgus Ui Diarmait may be a weird fellow, but he did not deserve jail time for throwing nutritious food at you, Mr. Prime Minister."
Mitchell: "And what about the precedent it would set? How would we decide what can or can't be thrown at the Prime Minister?"
Southpot: "It's not about the precedent, it's about the freedom of expression. If that is how Mr. Ui Diarmait decides to express himself, who are we to stop him?"
Mitchell: "Didn't you throw Ui Diarmait out of the Liberal Party for throwing bread at you during the leadership election?"
Southpot: "That was different."
Mitchell: "Really? To me it just reeks of 'one rule for me, another for everyone else.'"
Southpot: "Throwing someone out of a political party and imprisoning them are two extremely different things."
Mitchell: (Imitating Southpot's voice) "It's not about the precedent, it's about the freedom of expression. If that is how Mr. Ui Diarmait decides to express himself, who are we to stop him?"
Southpot: "Membership of a political party has nothing to do with freedom of expression. It is up to the party to decide what behaviour is acceptable and what behaviour is unacceptable."
Mitchell: "Membership of a functioning society has nothing to do with freedom of expression. It is up to the government and the judiciary to decide what behaviour is legal and what behaviour is illegal."
Southpot: "Since when is bread illegal? Bread is delicious food."
Mitchell: "Bread is delicious, and it isn't illegal. Assaulting someone by throwing bread at them is."
Southpot: "Assault? You don't even have a scratch."
Mitchell: "Assault doesn't just cover physical violence, Mr. Southpot, I thought you would understand that considering it was the late Sir Roger Aster who assisted the judiciary in setting the legal definition of assault in the British Empire."
Moderator: "Get back on topic!"
Mitchell: "Right. Back to the matter at hand. We were debating whether or not Ui Diarmait's sentence was too harsh or too lenient."
Southpot: "It was far too harsh. He should have been forced to apologise at the absolute most."
Mitchell: "It was far too lenient. He got only 5 weeks in prison, he should have gotten at a minimum 5 years."
Moderator: "That's all we have time for today, goodbye everybody."
The three heroes, Ben, Jeff and Fred, remained in their seats even after everyone else had left. They began to discuss the debate.
"That was pretty mild, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, but anything would look mild in comparison to July 4th 2044."
"Ah, I'm dead in that world by 2044, what happened?"
"To start, in 2028, I helped a third party win the US Presidential Election (because one party was in total disarray after their candidate for 2024 was imprisoned and the incumbent party decided to pick the most incompetent candidate in history, when they had a two-term Vice-President ready to take over). The 47th President, Albert Jones, serves one term until his assassination on October 23rd 2032 (yes, just under 2 weeks before the election) during a coup by the 48th President, Henry Theodosius Smith. Despite being just 30 years old, Smith is declared President by the army and a group of sympathisers in Congress, and acknowledging his severe election weaknesses (namely his belief that women are responsible for everything wrong in the world), strangles the competition."
"Jeff, I know that, I died when his supporters stormed the Capitol to prevent the Designated Survivor from taking over. Get to the point, because I sure know Smith wasn't going to be having a debate on Independence Day."
"True, it was Lord John who was the main figure of the debate. On October 23rd, while the US was in the midst of a coup, Lord John revealed that he had faked his death and emerged as the leader of a movement that called themselves Intellect Est Supreme. Over the course of 11 and a half years, he built his support base and wealth to prepare for his takeover of the Irish state. As he was building his movement, a coalition government appointed a leader who lasted for 4 weeks, which sent the economy spiraling to levels of inflation not seen since the 20s. The 1920s, to be precise. Then there were a few more leaders before they landed on a man named Marcus O'Donnell, who was seen as a hero who prevented IES from winning the 2039 General Election. When O'Donnell was appointed in October 2042, his approval rating was in the low 60s. Remember that. Lord John's was in the high 30s but had been slowly yet steadily rising since 2032."
"So how did O'Donnell go from hero to clearly having a catastrophic debate performance in less than two years?"
"The problem with the approval ratings is that it didn't take into account the disastrous state of the economy, the popularity of the moderate wing of IES with the general public, and that O'Donnell's addiction and marital troubles hadn't come to light yet."
"The thing was, O'Donnell didn't stop IES from winning in 2039, Lord John cost his movement the chance to win, because the entire manifesto of the coalition by 2039 was 'keep Lord John from power at all costs' and he was seen as far too extreme. The period from October 2042 to July 2044 saw a radical shift in Irish politics. In 2034 and 2039, the coalition retained power (albeit by the skin of their teeth in '39) because voters were voting against IES and Lord John. O'Donnell's incompetent leadership, which included bringing back the 4-week guy to a major role in Cabinet (to unsuccessfully try and stop the moderate right from going to IES), to alienating the left to the point that most of them were just going to stay at home and a minority went to IES. By the time of the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating had declined to approximately 15% while Lord John's had only risen to about 45%. However, the approval ratings had never taken into account voters who didn't approve of either but indicated they would vote for who they saw as the lesser of two evils."
"If O'Donnell's approval rating was so low, why didn't his party try to remove him?"
"They felt there wasn't enough time until the election. But also, O'Donnell's main skill was debating, while his main opponent had never debated in his life and his rallies consisted of people worshipping him. There was a consensus in the coalition that if O'Donnell screwed up the debate, then IES would win a landslide in the election even if they changed leader."
"So how did he screw up?"
"A number of reasons. Firstly, his reputation was in the gutter, meaning his skills as an orator didn't mean much. Secondly, the effects of his addiction were intensifying (he had a minor overdose the day before the debate). Thirdly, he was always too cautious and unwilling to fight back against Lord John's increasingly personal attacks for fear of losing the moral high ground. Fourthly, the coalition hadn't factored in the possibility that Lord John's protege would turn out to be an excellent orator despite his youth (he was just 19), and brought a pretty sizable minority (that he was a member of) into the IES fold. And finally, Lord John was coherent, at least by his rambling standards. He did accuse celebrities of being AI-Generated (note, not their work, but the celebrities themselves) and went on a 15-minute tangent about bread at one point, but he also successfully unveiled his ambitious, 2000-page manifesto which laid out the vision IES had for the next century."
"Before the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating was 15% and Lord John's was 45%. The polling indicated that out of those who would vote for anybody, the coalition would win 37% of seats, while IES would win 55% (Independents would win the rest). After the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating slipped to 5%, Lord John's rose to 51%, and the polling shifted to 17% coalition, 75% IES and 8% Independents. Note that the Independent vote was projected to remain constant, the shift was from reluctant coalition to reluctant IES. Remember the protege? His approval rating after his cameo at the debate was a whopping 72%, the highest of anyone in the country. The main thing was that voters hoped that Lord John's ramblings were a sign of declining health (despite being in his late 30s) and that IES could force him to stand aside in favour of his more coherent, more popular protege."
"If we infer what we know about Lord John, how could anyone screw up against him? Surely people would have to set aside their differences to stop him?"
"That was the problem. Lord John was more than happy to take advantage of coalition infighting, and present it as a case for his proposed dictatorship. He utilised the economic plight to advocate for his control over the economy (as he had stopped raising prices at his businesses in 2040, and was still a billionaire). He used the public breakdown of O'Donnell's marriage caused by his affairs to advocate for a return to an older age of morality. He used circumstantial evidence or flimsy scientific research to advance his agenda. He took advantage of church scandals to stir up anti-religious hatred and to advocate for a complete crackdown on religion. Of course, his most powerful weapons were charm and fear. He charmed a movement to become a tool for his own agenda, and scared a significant amount of the population into supporting him."
"People were just fed up with the coalition's incompetence and corruption, so many of them turned to the one alternative they had. Well, there was another, but they had no interest in elections, just in assassinating politicians."
The heroes left and prepared for the next mission, which would involve time travel (sort of).....
- 1
- 1
The British Empire III: The First Chaotic Era: Chapter VI: Why Is Everyone Obsessed With Bread? (aka the Fantasy Novel Reference)
December 17th 828:
Although a week had passed, our heroes were busy preparing for the next chaos to happen. Ben, Jeff and Fred were thinking of what could possibly happen.
"We know who's coming next."
"Who?" "Who?"
"The Dark Lord, or at least someone working for him."
"You don't think... It could be your father?"
"No, it's not my father or anyone from my home world, but they are working for the Dark Lord."
"Is something wrong? You're twitching a lot."
"That happens when I'm in seer mode."
"What do you see?"
"Nothing much, remember I can't really interfere with this world. But there is an axe, a lot of bread, and statues of an individual called Bob."
"Bob?"
"Oh no"
Following this, a portal opened and out stepped an individual.
"Hey there, I'm Rob."
"Who?"
"Rob, the brother of Bob. But I'm here to help you beat him, as he's coming to destroy your world as revenge for the Scriptwriters abandoning ours."
"Hold up, I thought only people like Fred and myself could exist in different worlds at once? Ben is only here as a clone, the original is still on his home world."
"This world seems to be chaos prime. Time travel isn't possible for anyone who isn't the Guardian, yet Henry I time travelled from 2024 to 769. This Bob having immense power means that we're in the real outskirts of the universe. Like even further out than the football worlds."
"What's going on in the football worlds at the moment?"
"There appears to be a solar system of 14 football worlds being created as we speak. Well the first one has been created, but the others are waiting for earlier ones to finish forming. In World A, Brazil is dominating continental (and global) football and an Argentine side won their first league title in 94 years as the traditional giants underperformed."
"That sounds nice, a smalltown, underdog team."
"They, like half of Argentina's league, are from Buenos Aires."
"Hello, do you want to beat Bob?"
"Yes."
"I have weapons to give you."
Fred took an old rusty dagger, Jeff took a golden sword and Ben took a familiar (to him) shield. "It's been a while" he whispered to the shield. Then a training montage begins. The montage lasts for about 10 hours. Then, Rob, Ben, Jeff and Fred are ready to take on Bob.....
Although a week had passed, our heroes were busy preparing for the next chaos to happen. Ben, Jeff and Fred were thinking of what could possibly happen.
"We know who's coming next."
"Who?" "Who?"
"The Dark Lord, or at least someone working for him."
"You don't think... It could be your father?"
"No, it's not my father or anyone from my home world, but they are working for the Dark Lord."
"Is something wrong? You're twitching a lot."
"That happens when I'm in seer mode."
"What do you see?"
"Nothing much, remember I can't really interfere with this world. But there is an axe, a lot of bread, and statues of an individual called Bob."
"Bob?"
"Oh no"
Following this, a portal opened and out stepped an individual.
"Hey there, I'm Rob."
"Who?"
"Rob, the brother of Bob. But I'm here to help you beat him, as he's coming to destroy your world as revenge for the Scriptwriters abandoning ours."
"Hold up, I thought only people like Fred and myself could exist in different worlds at once? Ben is only here as a clone, the original is still on his home world."
"This world seems to be chaos prime. Time travel isn't possible for anyone who isn't the Guardian, yet Henry I time travelled from 2024 to 769. This Bob having immense power means that we're in the real outskirts of the universe. Like even further out than the football worlds."
"What's going on in the football worlds at the moment?"
"There appears to be a solar system of 14 football worlds being created as we speak. Well the first one has been created, but the others are waiting for earlier ones to finish forming. In World A, Brazil is dominating continental (and global) football and an Argentine side won their first league title in 94 years as the traditional giants underperformed."
"That sounds nice, a smalltown, underdog team."
"They, like half of Argentina's league, are from Buenos Aires."
"Hello, do you want to beat Bob?"
"Yes."
"I have weapons to give you."
Fred took an old rusty dagger, Jeff took a golden sword and Ben took a familiar (to him) shield. "It's been a while" he whispered to the shield. Then a training montage begins. The montage lasts for about 10 hours. Then, Rob, Ben, Jeff and Fred are ready to take on Bob.....
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The British Empire III: The Chaotic Era: Chapter VII: The Battle of Bread (The Finale)
December 18th 828:
Ben, Jeff, Fred and Rob gathered outside the shed. A portal opened. "Brother, we've been expecting you", declares Rob. Bob, a giant man (although much shorter than Ben), was carrying a similarly giant loaf of bread. All of a sudden, other figures appeared behind Bob. And for some reason, they were all naked and holding bread in their hands. The INP rushed out to join Bob and his nudist army. The rest of Parliament was amazed by the chaos going on, and decided to spectate.
Bob spoke. "If you let me destroy this world, I will spare everyone and let them join the Icelandic faith." Of course, that didn't make any sense, how could he spare people if he destroyed the world they were living in? Ben simply replied "Never!" Rob said "Your time is up brother, surrender now and we'll be kind to you." Bob laughed, and gestured for the leader of the army to duel Fred.
Fred, armed with just a rusty dagger (yes that rusty dagger), was up against Eirik, Bob's faithful servant and warrior, a naked man who was adept with both kinds of sword.
Eirik cried out "FOR BOB!" and the duel commenced.
Fred tried to stab Eirik, but the warrior was very good at dodging him. Fred on the other hand, was struggling but just about able to dodge Eirik's attacks. This back and forth continued for half an hour. Eventually, both wounded each other.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!" screamed Fred. Eirik died almost instantly because of the potency of the rusty dagger. Fred, however, still had some time left. The INP threw bread at Fred to try and kill him faster, but that didn't work.
Bob sent Unnr, a daughter of Eirik, to fight Jeff. Jeff had a golden sword, while Unnr didn't have a weapon, just a large barrel of beer. She offered Jeff the beer. "Sorry, I don't drink alcohol." "It wasn't an offer" she declared. She forced the beer down Jeff's throat. Jeff started to stumble. "I don't feel so good." Thud.
Bob prevented Ben and Fred from trying to help Jeff as Unnr surrounded him and began to remove his clothes. However, he woke up just as she was trying to remove his underwear and stabbed her with the golden sword. She died instantly and collapsed on top of him, crushing him to death. Just as Jeff died, Fred died as well.
Bob and Rob faced off against each other, but Bob killed and ate his brother. So it was up to Ben to end this. Ben grabbed his shield and ran towards Bob. When Bob tried to use his powers on Ben, Ben used the shield to deflect it. He started hitting Bob with the shield. Ben got his wand out and uttered a spell that killed Bob.
Ben saw the death before him, and decided that he was going to leave. He bid farewell to everyone in the shed, and returned to his home world, merging the clone with the original....
Ben, Jeff, Fred and Rob gathered outside the shed. A portal opened. "Brother, we've been expecting you", declares Rob. Bob, a giant man (although much shorter than Ben), was carrying a similarly giant loaf of bread. All of a sudden, other figures appeared behind Bob. And for some reason, they were all naked and holding bread in their hands. The INP rushed out to join Bob and his nudist army. The rest of Parliament was amazed by the chaos going on, and decided to spectate.
Bob spoke. "If you let me destroy this world, I will spare everyone and let them join the Icelandic faith." Of course, that didn't make any sense, how could he spare people if he destroyed the world they were living in? Ben simply replied "Never!" Rob said "Your time is up brother, surrender now and we'll be kind to you." Bob laughed, and gestured for the leader of the army to duel Fred.
Fred, armed with just a rusty dagger (yes that rusty dagger), was up against Eirik, Bob's faithful servant and warrior, a naked man who was adept with both kinds of sword.
Eirik cried out "FOR BOB!" and the duel commenced.
Fred tried to stab Eirik, but the warrior was very good at dodging him. Fred on the other hand, was struggling but just about able to dodge Eirik's attacks. This back and forth continued for half an hour. Eventually, both wounded each other.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!" screamed Fred. Eirik died almost instantly because of the potency of the rusty dagger. Fred, however, still had some time left. The INP threw bread at Fred to try and kill him faster, but that didn't work.
Bob sent Unnr, a daughter of Eirik, to fight Jeff. Jeff had a golden sword, while Unnr didn't have a weapon, just a large barrel of beer. She offered Jeff the beer. "Sorry, I don't drink alcohol." "It wasn't an offer" she declared. She forced the beer down Jeff's throat. Jeff started to stumble. "I don't feel so good." Thud.
Bob prevented Ben and Fred from trying to help Jeff as Unnr surrounded him and began to remove his clothes. However, he woke up just as she was trying to remove his underwear and stabbed her with the golden sword. She died instantly and collapsed on top of him, crushing him to death. Just as Jeff died, Fred died as well.
Bob and Rob faced off against each other, but Bob killed and ate his brother. So it was up to Ben to end this. Ben grabbed his shield and ran towards Bob. When Bob tried to use his powers on Ben, Ben used the shield to deflect it. He started hitting Bob with the shield. Ben got his wand out and uttered a spell that killed Bob.
Ben saw the death before him, and decided that he was going to leave. He bid farewell to everyone in the shed, and returned to his home world, merging the clone with the original....
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As the change for the final threadmark suggests, this AAR is now finished. Or at least I'm not going back to gameplay (I didn't lose the save this time, I just can't be bothered to go back to it). If there is enough demand, I'll do a 'List of Prime Ministers', a 'List of Presidents', a 'List of Emperors' and an epilogue which would link back to the prologue.
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I have no idea what happened, what the plot was, or if there was anything in this story that was intended to make sense or not. Strangely though, I prefer it this way as it seems funnier. Please don’t explain anything to me.
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You used my birthday and my hometown. Kudos! Could the bread, stop the bleeding? Thanks
After much reading and re-reading, I have come to the quick and dramatic end of this AAR. Although I use bookmarks, I had to re-read sections both due to my poor memory and also parsing out the threads. (The problem of inconsistent forum attendance since July.) Up until the last few chapters, I didn't realize this was a satirical comedy. I like how this weaves in criticisms of both pandemic lockdowns and the U.S. election of 2024. It is certainly a crazy, screwball comedy as @Historywhiz notes, but also oddly insightful. I also felt like it brought in elements of EUIV and even the Victoria series in how the game play was described and the elements in some of the posts. Certainly unique, although influenced by at least one or two other AARs in this subforum. The ending is filled with laughs, intended or otherwise.
I am already pretty deep into your next AAR which so far doesn't seem to have the same multiverse touches nor amazing features (a castle holding contained in a shed). I'd say "carry on" but I know you will anyway.... It seems your yeast continues to rise... so good luck in your future baking endeavors.
I am already pretty deep into your next AAR which so far doesn't seem to have the same multiverse touches nor amazing features (a castle holding contained in a shed). I'd say "carry on" but I know you will anyway.... It seems your yeast continues to rise... so good luck in your future baking endeavors.
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Seeing as I'm just starting the second playthrough, I can (and I am) start the multiverse shenanigans.
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