The British Empire - A Modded CK2 AAR

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

December 11th 811:
It is now time. I have gathered the 10 Justices of the Supreme Court to try Joseph Westfield and the Imperialist Party for treason and attempting to overturn a democratic election. I take my seat that will give me a front row view of the proceedings.

Chief Justice: "We are gathered today to try Mr. Joseph Westfield and the Imperialist Party for the crimes of treason and attempting to overturn a democratic election. How do you plead?"

Westfield: "We plead not guilty. We are the victims of a conspiracy by the Emperor and the Liberal Party to defraud the Constitution."

Associative Justice 1: "A conspiracy? This conspiracy theorist is clearly guilty."

Chief Justice: "Silence!"

Westfield: "The Imperialist Party stands for the good English Anglicans of the Empire. We fight against the discrimination that the radical Celts and Frenchians try to inflict upon us. If you do not acquit us, you will pay for it when we return to power."

Associative Justices 1-9: "Sir, we must convict."

Chief Justice: "Joseph Westfield, you are hereby found guilty of treason and attempting to overturn a democratic election. You will be sentenced to death by hanging on New Year's Day 812. The Imperialist Party is hereby banned by order of the Supreme Court."

I watch as Westfield is taken away screaming obscenities, indicating his belief that "the radical Celt terrorism" was responsible for his defeat and sentencing. New Year's Day awaits.

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

On New Year's Eve, the 580 non-Imperialist MPs held a feast in the shed. The entire royal family, including the children of the women who were not members of the Worthington dynasty, joined the MPs in celebrating the downfall of Joseph Westfield and the Imperialist Party. By-elections were to be held on New Year's Day, however the Conservatives were highly likely to win all 16 seats. At the feast, Sir Roger Aster approached me about implementing the Thirteenth Amendment, which would formalise the outcome of the recent Supreme Court hearing, enabling the court to ban offensive political parties who commit treason. I agreed, and the Liberal MPs passed the Thirteenth Amendment a day before Parliament was supposed to meet for the year. The Fourteenth Amendment was also passed, which meant Parliament would now meet once every month instead of once a year.

While this was going on, I was informed by a Lombard man that my plan to assassinate a Frankish woman named Frolaica Nibelunging was ready to be executed. Frolaica was the Duchess of Berry until the end of the War of the Two Empires, when Berry (like all of Francia west of the Rhine) was annexed. She has been plotting to claim the county of Tours, which de jure is part of Berry but was de facto controlled by the Duchy of Anjou. I decided to have her killed when she refused to stop plotting. This may take a few days.

I went to sleep and woke up the following morning, ready to close the Westfield chapter of British history. The executioner was already waiting for Westfield's arrival. The disgraced former Prime Minister was led out and held in place. The hangman readied his rope and wrapped it around Westfield's neck. After 15 minutes, it was all over.

I returned to the shed and decided that I was going to rest throughout 812....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

Frolaica was assassinated on January 27th 812. I was happy as it meant her plot ended. My half-brother Prince Geoffrey died after a period of ill health around this time. My sister Juliana was widowed in May and entered a nunnery. My nephew Matthew Worthington was caught being a member of a Satanic cult called Lucifer's Own, he was branded with molten iron. In July, Catherine showed signs of pregnancy with our ninth child, our first in nearly 20 years.

I was informed in October that the Emperor of China had died. The new guy likes Manicheans and dislikes Finns and Magyars. I ended 812 by banishing 25 people who had been imprisoned for over 20 years each. At the start of 813, Parliament and I agreed to invade the Umayyad Sultanate of Maghreb. In February, my newest son Randolph was born. Captured prisoners were executed. On October 3rd 813, the war ended with the regent of the child Sultan agreeing to give up all of the Umayyad's Iberian territory. A meeting between the Emperors of Britain, Germania, and Byzantium was scheduled for later in October. I was to meet with my father's old foe, Emperor Pharamond Karling, and Basileus Kosmas Monotes.

At the meeting, we agreed to recognise each other as Emperors of the West, Centre and East respectively. However, nothing else came of it. There was no alliance or agreement about land in this meeting. In 814, I was informed that a mixture of Irish and English settlers were converging in the north, intermarrying with the local Picts and becoming Scottish. The northern Kingdom officially changed from Pictland to Scotland in my list of titles. Catherine got pregnant again. My nephew Reginald, 1st Duke of Lancaster, died of dysentery. His son, Reginald II, was anointed as the 2nd Duke. His younger son Laurence became the 1st Earl of Chester. My 10th child Cecilia was born in April 815. Andrew, the Archbishop of Canterbury, died and was replaced by Archbishop Eustace.

By the time 816, arrived, I began preparing for the next election. The Seventh Parliament was to be dissolved on December 1st, and the election would be held on the same day. I became known as Henry 'the Confessor'.

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

I knew that 816 was going to be unpredictable. Sir Roger Aster was retiring again aged 76, leaving the Liberal Party with a decision to make as to who would be the next leader. They decided to pick Nathan Long, a 38 year old English, Anglican MP for Colchester. The Conservatives consolidated under Mark Milkman. The Imperialists were no more, meaning the Conservatives were going to dominate England according to the polls. Once again, I could not vote, but there was no Westfield to accuse me of fraud for existing. The conquest of Iberia meant there were now 777 MPs and the Electoral College would have 761 electors.

The 816 General Election (389 MPs for a majority):

Party	Leader	Number of MPs	Outcome
Liberal	Nathan Long (English, Anglican, 38, Colchester)	630	Form Government
Conservative	Mark Milkman (English, Anglican, 60, Stamford Bridge)	147	In Opposition

The Liberals made gains thanks to the Iberian conquests, and the Conservatives actually declined when you factor in the now non-existent Imperialists. Milkman's future as Conservative Party leader was under threat after another humiliating election result. The Conservatives began to worry about the Presidential election.

The 816 Presidential Election: Gloucester v Norfolk Round 3 (381 electors to win):

Party	Candidate	Electoral Votes	Total Votes + Outcome
Liberal	Gloucester	Gloucester (10), Bedford (13), Moray (8), Albany (8), The Hebrides (6), Galloway (6), Connacht (7), Meath (7), Leinster (8), Munster (8), etc. (all the continental regions)	621 ; becomes President
Conservative	Norfolk	Norfolk (6), Canterbury (10), Winchester (8), Bath (12), Warwick (17), Lancaster (9), York (12), Northumberland (8), Cumbria (6), Man (1), Lothian (6), Ulster (8), Gower (7), Glamorgan (8), Powys (5), Gwynedd (9)	140 ; not President

The Presidential Election reflected the Parliamentary Election. The Conservatives only gained a couple of seats in Bedford, Gloucester, Brabant and a few non-electoral provinces. The Liberals held on to Gloucester and Bedford comfortably, but lost ground in Wales, Scotland and Ulster.

I appointed President Gloucester and Prime Minister Long. The Eighth Parliament began...

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

The Eighth Parliament was a particularly dull one, as in the first few years, nothing of note happened. In June 817, I noticed my great-nephew Albert of St Brigit trying to read my letters. I decided to teach him how to read. In October, Reginald died of natural causes aged 47. In January 818, my granddaughter Catherine of Lichfield sneaks up on me and sees the broach I had bought her, ruining the surprise.

On the 2nd of April, I am meeting with Sir Roger Aster when a servant enters the room. "My Emperor, there is important news from Parliament." "Go on" I say to the servant. "Mark Milkman has been ousted by the Conservative Party." Milkman's ousting was no real surprise to me, he was always a weak leader who existed solely to be the leader that people who couldn't stand Westfield could turn to. I inquire as to the identity of the new Conservative Party leader, and the servant replies "Oliver Mitchell, MP for Dover." This is shocking to me, as Mitchell is only 29 and was only elected at the most recent General Election. Aster says "I've heard of Mitchell, he's the leader of a young faction within the Conservative Party advocating for what he calls 'the Continental Strategy', believing that focusing on policy, and painting the Liberals as a party of identity politics, will help them win over voters in France and Iberia. I fear a blue wave is coming, my Emperor, and I don't think Prime Minister Long is going to survive amongst the Liberals if it comes."

I noticed that Prince Henry was a devoted father to his children. I decided that I wished to see the Empire prosper, instead of being consumed by war. My nephew, Gerald I, 1st Duke of York, was assassinated on November 5th 818, while investigating a conspiracy led by a man named Guy Fawkes. Fawkes was arrested, tortured and executed. During the torture, he revealed his connections to Liberal Prime Minister Nathan Long. Oliver Mitchell accused Long of having knowledge of the conspiracy, which was intended to kill me, and Catherine said to me that she believes this incident will win the next election for the Conservatives, as they were already on the rise under Mitchell. I officially appointed my great-nephew Gerald II as the 2nd Duke of York. Gerald I's younger sons, Edmund and Stephen, became the 1st Earls of Hull and Leeds respectively. Catherine asked to take over Gerald's duties as spymaster, to which I reluctantly agreed. She is an amazing woman, but I don't want to lose her.

My niece Maud became known as 'the Scholar' after a debate during Christmas dinner where she recited all of the Constitution in one go. Pharamond Karling converted Denmark to Catholicism. The Bohemian cultured, Slavic Pagan Karling King of Bavaria requested that my grandson Henry marry his sister Marie matrilineally when they both came of age. I told the child's ambassador where to go. Parliament intervened in a dispute between the Church and the merchant class, stating that their laws were to be equal in authority, and below that of Parliament and the Emperor. My nephew, Henry II, 1st Duke of Norfolk, died in a hunting accident, and was succeeded by his only son, Matthew. Some conspiracy theorists within the Conservative Party suspected Norfolk's younger brother, Liberal President Ralph, 1st Duke of Gloucester, however Ralph is a kind and just man who believed killing was wrong. Still, it appeared to have damaged the Liberal Party's reputation and further bolstered the Conservative Party's election chances.

The widows of Norfolk and York were sent to China by their sons to be concubines of the Emperor. I became a better commander after years of intense study and practice. The Grand Mayor of Bristol obtained some artifacts, such as a Crown of Lillies, a Scepter and an Engraved Sword. Reginald II, the 9 year old 2nd Duke of Lancaster, burnt the Mayor of Preston at the stake. Catherine revealed that my half-brothers were fighting amongst each other. Prince Fulk was scheming to have Prince Paul killed. I ordered that he stop if he valued his freedom. I was informed that the Lord Mayor of Noli, a city in Germania-controlled Italy, was raiding Nice. I ordered a unit stationed in Iberia to go to Nice as quickly as they possibly could. My Steward and nephew-in-law, Andrew of Lichfield, proposed creating a cultural monument. I agreed, and Parliament did not object, so construction began. Prince Lionel died in April 820. In June, 9 months after Fulk was exposed, Prince Godfrey, my youngest half-brother, was exposed for trying to skip the queue. The army arrived in Nice, but the Lord Mayor of Noli and his troops had long fled back home.

In July, we received news from a one-province minor in India. Thakur Krishna Guhilot, the 39 year old Rajput Jain ruler, had noticed a terrifying disease was spreading in his demesne. This disease was said to be incurable, with victims being covered in buboes. I took notes, and decided to start constructing hospitals along the Imperial borders and expand the one in Middlesex. Former President Swithelm of Tottenham, 3rd Baron Tottenham, died after a long period of poor health in September. He was succeeded by his son Baron Eadfrith II, 4th Baron Tottenham. On January 1st 821, with an election coming up, the Liberal Party, perhaps knowing that defeat in December seemed inevitable, passed the Fifteenth Amendment (the Kingdom of Man Act), which elevated the Isle of Man to a Kingdom in its own right, and stipulated that my maternal grandson Walter of St Albans would be appointed as its first Governor-General when he came of age on January 9th.

January 9th arrived, and it was a day of great pride for me. Walter was like a son to me, as his mother, my eldest daughter Hawise, died when he was just a few months old, and his father, Walter Sr. left court to join the clergy. The young man was a prodigy in martial matters, brave but also a bit stubborn. I placed the Viceregal crown on Walter's head, indicating that he was now my Supreme Representative in Man. The Conservative Party tried to convince Walter to join their ranks, but he refused and indicated he would be a bipartisan Governor-General. Walter decreed that the Parliament of Man would elect 5 representatives per constituency (there was 1 at the moment). He indicated that his demesne would follow the Imperial succession law of House Seniority. We received news that China wanted to subjugate a Indian lord.

The statue Andrew started construction of was finished in February. He revealed it to be a statue of me, which I was immensely grateful for. On October 1st, the Liberal Party passed the Sixteenth Amendment (the Kingdom of Northern Ireland Act), which created a Kingdom of Northern Ireland for the English Anglican population of the island. Humphrey of St Brigit, a maternal grandson of my half-brother Prince Paul, was to be appointed as Governor-General on his 16th birthday on October 17th. After his investment, he decided that his Parliament would elect 6 representatives per constituency. The creation of Northern Ireland will reduce the number of MPs by 3. Just like with Man and Walter, Humphrey agreed that his demesne would be ruled by House Seniority, meaning his younger brothers David, Matthew and Albert were all in line before any potential children.

In November, a month before the election, there was an outbreak of camp fever in Suffolk. Prime Minister Nathan Long decided to do nothing. The election would take place as normal, despite the spread of disease...

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

I had a sense of dread for the state of politics in the British Empire. We were going to go from one extreme to the other, from a near 500 MP Liberal majority to a near 500 MP Conservative majority, if the polls were to be believed. As Northern Ireland has 3 provinces, it will now only elect 3 MPs instead of the previous 6. This meant we now had 774 MPs and retained 761 electors in the Electoral College. Sir Roger Aster resisted calls to return to politics and oust Nathan Long, citing the fact that he was now 81 years old. Oliver Mitchell, at the age of just 32, rejected the idea that he was too young to be Prime Minister, citing the fact that my father started ruling at 16 and that we had a child President in Mitchell's lifetime.

The 821 General Election (388 MPs for a majority):

Party	Leader	Number of MPs	Outcome
Liberal Party	Nathan Long (English, Anglican, 43)	93	In Opposition
Conservative Party	Oliver Mitchell (English, Anglican, 32, Dover)	681	Form Government

The election was nothing short of a disaster for the Liberal Party. Nathan Long became the second successor of Sir Roger Aster as Prime Minister to lose his seat at a General Election while being the incumbent (Bernard Strong lost his seat in 810 while he was the serving Prime Minister). Oliver Mitchell had managed to shake off the reputation of being 'Imperialist Lite' the Conservative Party had garnered under Mark Milkman and had also built a new reputation for the party as 'the party of policy'. Immediately after losing his seat, Nathan Long resigned as Liberal Party leader, but I expect the party to fracture after a catastrophic defeat which made 810 look narrow.

The Presidential Non-Election (381 Electors to win):
Incumbent President Ralph, 1st Duke of Gloucester saw the writing on the wall and declined to run for re-election. The Liberal Party could not convince anyone else to run, so the Conservative primary became the de facto election.

Conservative Primary: Warwick v Norfolk (381 to win):

Candidate	Regions Carried	Total Primary Votes	Outcome
Warwick	Warwick, Lancaster, York, Cumbria, Northumberland, Powys, Gwynedd, Scotland (all of it), Northern Ireland, Connacht, Meath, Man	120	Not nominated
Norfolk	Norfolk, Gloucester, Bedford, Canterbury, Winchester, Bath, Gower, Glamorgan, Leinster, Munster, France (all of it), Iberia (all of it)	641	Nominated, becomes President by default

I consider the 821 Presidential Election as a Non-Election because first of all, the Conservative Primary decided the President, and secondly, neither candidate ran serious campaigns, knowing that one of them was guaranteed the Presidency and not wanting to damage their professional and familial relationship with each other. Laurence, 1st Duke of Warwick, is Matthew, 2nd Duke of Norfolk's uncle after all. Laurence accepted that he had lost his final chance to become President, and became his nephew's most loyal supporter. I appointed President Norfolk and Prime Minister Mitchell and the Ninth Parliament began...

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

December 2nd 821:
Things are getting ugly in Parliament. While Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell was speaking about his plans to implement a nation-wide lockdown if the rumoured plague in India reached British territory, Snedgus Ui Diarmait, the 57 year old Irish Catholic Liberal MP for Cork, threw a loaf of bread at the Prime Minister. The Liberal Party has not yet selected their new leader, and the MPs are being unruly as a result. However it seems there is one consensus within the party, there will be no support for lockdowns. The Conservative Party also presented their new plan to construct upgrades in all constituencies in England over the next 5 years. It was not said how much money this would cost, but Jeff offered to loan the nation any required funds. Mitchell appointed James Rack, MP for Westminster, as Minister for Constructions, which was the head of the new Department of Construction, the department with the authority to order new constructions in constituencies and holdings (in regions with Governors-General). Rack confirmed that this plan was a general trial for the new department, and that if it was successful, the next Conservative government would focus on improving the rest of the Empire. Prior to this establishment, it was the responsibility of myself, the lords and the Governors-General to construct upgrades. We still can, but it comes from our own coffers rather than the government's treasury.

I was notified of the election results in Man and Northern Ireland. In Man, all 5 MLPs were Conservatives, meaning their local leader became First Minister of Man. In Northern Ireland, the 36 MLPs were split 31-5 in favour of the Conservatives against the Liberals. The Governors-General arrived in the House of Lords to accept President Norfolk.

December 4th 821:
And the Liberal Party will not be winning an election anytime soon. During last night's leadership election, Ui Diarmait threw more bread at the other candidates because they did not agree with his policy of throwing bread at people. After this, he was thrown out of the Liberal Party, literally. I mean it, they literally threw him out of the room where the leadership election was taking place. A few other Irish Catholic MPs left in protest, and then everyone started to leave. Eventually, Beorn Southpot, MP for Preston, was selected as Liberal Party leader. However, there were now only 5 Liberal MPs left in Parliament, with the other 4 being in Brittany (1), Wales (1) and Scotland (2). The Irish Catholic MPs formed the Irish Nationalist Party (INP), which campaigns for the dissolution of Northern Ireland and return of the 3 provinces to a unified and devolved Ireland. The French MPs formed the Parti National Francais (PNF), which campaigns for French devolution, and the Iberian MPs formed the Iberian United Front (IUF), which was more of a union of parties rather than one party on its own, as it combined Visigoths, Suebians and Muslims into one group. The other MPs simply joined the Conservative Party. The PNF and the IUF both have 35 MPs, while the INP has 10, so 9 MPs defected to the Conservatives, giving them a new total of 690 MPs.

December 5th 821:
Oliver Mitchell formally welcomed the Conservative Party's 9 new MPs and stated that "together, we will build a better future across the Empire." Snedgus Ui Diarmait and the INP threw bread at everyone to signal their presence. I thought to myself "Ui Diarmait and the INP are my bet for the next party brought before the Supreme Court." Roger wrote to me, informing me that Father Aethelwulf Ossing, the final leader of the defunct Catholic Party, had died in his sleep last night at the age of 74. A small funeral was to be organised. I agreed to attend.

December 7th 821:
The funeral of Father Aethelwulf Ossing was a quiet affair, which was quite settling after a week of chaos at Parliament. At the funeral, Roger gave a speech about how Ossing was a "shining example of the good in politics", which was likely a dig at the late Joseph Westfield. Many of Ossing's former constituents in Crowland attended and paid tribute to the man who represented them in Parliament from 790 to 810. After the funeral, I returned to the shed and went to sleep, and would prepare my plans for the next couple of years in the morning...

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

As Parliament began calculating the cost of the Conservative Party's construction project, I ordered a grand mass wedding, where many of my relatives got married simultaneously (no polygamy though). I appointed two great-nephews, Guy of Burnham (a grandson of Prince Geoffrey) and Alfred of Southampton (a grandson of Princess Hawise), as the 1st Dukes of Cumberland and Northumberland respectively.

The budget was sent to me for review. The Conservative Party were proposing to spend 9,400 gold coins on their construction project in England. Decades of Imperial and Liberal misery meant that the treasury had over 80,000 coins in reserve. I approved the measure, and construction began on December 16th 821. I announced further upgrades to the Hospital of Middlesex.

With Camp Fever approaching Middlesex, on January 1st 822, the Conservative government voted overwhelmingly in favour of a national lockdown. A Berber Sheikh started raiding the coast of Iberia, an army was sent from the north to crush them. However, the raiders dispersed days before the British army arrived to engage them in battle. Once the Hospital's upgrades finished, I announced further upgrades. The Sheikh returned in November but would get away again before British soldiers arrived. The Archbishop of Canterbury died of Camp Fever.

In September 823, my Steward Andrew of Lichfield informs me of old tunnels under the shed. He suggests we maintain them. I agree. Days later, Andrew informs me that people are using the tunnels. We are presented with a peasant named Adelaide 'the Recluse'. I decide to interrogate her. According to Adelaide, her lover used to reside at the court, but he died of Camp Fever. Andrew doesn't believe her story, so I send her away. I receive news that the Great Plague in India is currently ravaging Persia. I tell my nephew Andrew Worthington and his wife Joan of Carlisle to be more discreet with their 'conversation'. I appoint Uilliam O'Flaherty, a grandson of my late half-brother Prince Simon, as the 1st Duke of Leinster. In December, the Great Plague arrives in Nice.

In June 824, my daughter Princess Joan asks to leave the shed. I refuse to let her because I don't want her to get sick. On November 15th 825, I received upsetting news. My friend and mentor, former Prime Minister Sir Roger Aster, died of the Great Plague at the age of 85. As there was a lockdown in place, there could not be a funeral to attend. During the lockdown, I have became close with my great-nephew Henry of Iona, and we now consider each other friends. Another Archbishop of Canterbury died in March 826. I noticed that President Norfolk was a cannibal when his plot to kill and eat his sister was discovered. I finished the granting of land to Irish vassals in May 826. The election for Governor-General was set for the same day as the General Election, December 1st. This was set out in the Seventeenth Amendment (the Devolution of Ireland Act). This also meant that Ireland would lose 14 MPs, leaving the nation with 760 MPs and 761 Electors. Snedgus Ui Diarmait threw bread at the Conservative, Liberal and INP MPs who voted in favour of the Amendment. My half-brother Prince Fulk died in July. The Frisian culture on the mouth of the Rhine morphed into a new Dutch culture. I started studying the conquests of Alexander the Great in October. December arrived, and it was election time...

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

As my health was declining, I was aware that this could be the last election with me as Emperor. The Conservative Party remained popular for their economic policy, despite facing a major backlash over the national lockdown, which was still in effect nearly 5 years on. Oliver Mitchell was committed to expanding their construction policy to the rest of the Empire. The other parties campaigned on their usual issues, but also on ending the lockdown. Due to the recent enactment of the Seventeenth Amendment, the Irish election would take place first. It was decided that each constituency in Ireland would elect 4 representatives to the devolved Parliament.

Irish Election of 826 (60 representatives for a majority):

Party	Leader	Number of Representatives	Outcome
Conservative Party	Eamon de Chill Mhantáin (Irish, Anglican, 44, Wexford)	59	Leads Hung Parliament
Liberal Party	Énri Mac Cartaigh (Irish, Anglican, 33, Cork)	15	Opposition in Hung Parliament
INP	Snedgus Óg Ui Diarmait (Irish, Catholic, 22, Cork)	44	Opposition in Hung Parliament

Hung Parliament, Eamon de Cill Mhantain appointed as First Minister by virtue of leading the largest party in the devolved Parliament.

Irish Gubernatorial Election of 826 (16 electors to win)

Party	Candidate	Regions Won	Electoral Votes + Outcome
Conservative Party	Meath (Irish, Catholic, 18, Meath)	Meath, Leinster	13; Not elected as Governor-General
Liberal-INP	Munster (Irish, Catholic, 19, Munster)	Munster, Connacht	17; Elected as Governor-General

Máel-Cianáin, 1st Duke of Munster, was elected as the 1st Governor-General of Ireland. The Gubernatorial Election showed that the Liberal and INP vote were similar, and the split enabled the Conservatives to win the most seats in the Parliamentary Election. Had they worked together like they did in the Gubernatorial Election, the Liberals and the INP could have formed a coalition government.

National Election of 826 (381 MPs for a majority):

Party	Leader	Number of MPs	Outcome
Conservative Party	Oliver Mitchell (English, Anglican, 37, Dover)	555	Form Government
Liberal Party	Beorn Southpot (English, Anglican, 50, Preston)	106	In Opposition
INP	Snedgus Ui Diarmait (Irish, Catholic, 62, Desmond)	9	In Opposition
PNF	Pierre de Main (French, Catholic, 43, Corbeil)	40	In Opposition
IUF	Abdul al-Qurtubah (Bedouin, Sunni, 44, Cordoba)	50	In Opposition

Oliver Mitchell continues as Prime Minister. The Conservative Party's majority was dented at this General Election, which was mainly caused by the backlash to the lockdown, but the other 4 parties couldn't make enough gains to defeat them.

Presidential Election of 826 (381 Electors to win): (There were no Primaries)

Party	Candidate	Regions Won	Outcome
Conservative Party	President Norfolk (English, Anglican, 21, Norfolk)	Norfolk, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Brittany, Penthievre, Upper Brittany, Man	100; Not President
Liberal Party	Former President Gloucester (English, Anglican, 36, Gloucester)	Rest of the country	631; President
INP	Governor-General Munster (Irish, Catholic, 19, Ireland)	Ireland (all of it)	30; Not President

Ralph, 1st Duke of Gloucester, returns as President, becoming the first to win non-consecutive terms (he first served from 810 to 821). President Norfolk struggled due to the revelation that he was a cannibal and the popularity of his predecessor. Máel-Cianáin, the Governor-General of Ireland, only won in Ireland because nobody else was going to vote for the INP. If the Conservatives had ran a different candidate to the unpopular incumbent, then the INP could have ended up being a spoiler in the election.

I appointed President Gloucester and Prime Minister Mitchell and the Tenth Parliament began...

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

The Conservative investment project for the rest of the Empire was to cost 65,500 gold coins. This is based on the treasury having just under 90,000 coins when construction was ordered, and having 24,500 when payments were made. Many Liberals said that the project was too expensive, and it didn't even include England, Man, Northern Ireland and Ireland. Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell stated that it would go ahead with my approval, which was granted. Snedgus Ui Diarmait threw more bread around the shed.

In January, the Governors-General of Ireland and Northern Ireland start a war over the province of Tyrone. The constitution doesn't forbid vassal wars, so I have to get creative to end the war. Ireland is teleported to Northern Ireland's dungeon by Ben so that the war ends in March. Late in 827, I became stressed from everything I have to do in life. Prince Paul died on New Year's Day 828. Prince Peter is now my heir. The Picts are slowly dying out in Scotland. However, they remain on their independent Faroe Islands. During Easter 828, my youngest son Randolph asks for permission to join the clergy, which I grant. In April, a lowborn named Eric died in Warwick. The following month, my granddaughter Edith gives birth to a son with my great-nephew Stephen, and they name the boy Eric. In the Republic of Bristol, a new constituency was established, meaning there would be an extra MP and Elector. A constituency was constructed in Warwick later in 828.

A 'recruit' is bringing me my food when he drops it on my foot by accident. It burns so much that my physician recommends amputating it. The surgery is a dramatic failure, and I am now infected with gangrene in my other leg. After a week of struggle, I slip in and out of consciousness on November 25th, the anniversary of my father's death.

(Three days later):
My heirs and the government join me as it is feared I will die shortly. I ask Prince Peter and Parliament to pass Constitutional Amendments to prevent another war in Ireland, which they agree to. I tell my wife and children that I love them, and finally everything goes dark.....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

With the death of Emperor Henry II, a General Election is to be held on December 1st 828. The Conservative Party's popularity increased because of their successful economic policy, which was alleviating the worst problems of the lockdown. Oliver Mitchell promised to build a great project in Middlesex if the Conservatives were re-elected. There were now 762 MPs and 763 Electors.

Election of 828 (382 MPs for a majority):

Party	Leader	Number of MPs	Outcome
Conservative Party	Oliver Mitchell (English, Anglican, 39, Dover)	530	Form Government
Liberal Party	Beorn Southpot (English, Anglican, 52, Preston)	177	In Opposition
INP	Snedgus Ui Diarmait (Irish, Catholic, 64, Desmond)	5	In Opposition
PNF	Pierre de Main (French, Catholic, 45, Corbeil)	20	In Opposition
IUF	Liuva d'Astorga (Visigothic, Catholic, 42, Astorga)	30	In Opposition

In Man, the Conservatives won all 6 seats. In Northern Ireland, the make-up was: 27 Conservative, 8 Liberal, 1 INP. In Ireland, the make-up was: 64 Conservative, 44 Liberal, 12 INP. Oliver Mitchell retained his position as Prime Minister.

Presidential Election of 828 (382 Electors to win): (No Primaries were held)
By Kingdom/Region:
England (115 Electors):

Party	Candidate	Regions Won	Number of Electors Won
Conservative Party	Duke Warwick (English, Anglican, 36, Warwick)	Warwick, York, Northumberland, Norfolk, Bedford, Bristol, Canterbury	82
Liberal Party	President Gloucester (English, Anglican, 38, Gloucester)	Gloucester, Lancaster, Cumberland, Winchester	33

Scotland (34 Electors):

Conservative Regions: Moray, The Hebrides (14)
Liberal Regions: Albany, Strathclyde, Lothian (20)

Wales (29 Electors):

Conservative Regions: Powys, Glamorgan (13)
Liberal Regions: Gwynedd, Gower (16)

Man (1 Elector):

Conservative Region: Man (1)
Liberal Region: N/A (0)

Northern Ireland (6 Electors):

Conservative Region: Ulster (6)
Liberal Region: N/A (0)

Ireland (30 Electors):

Conservative Regions: Connacht, Meath (16)
Liberal Region: Leinster (6)
INP Region (Spoiler Candidate): Munster (8)

Francia (333 Electors):

Conservative Regions: Toulouse, Upper Burgundy, Brittany, Upper Brittany, Neustria, Picardy, Flanders, Brabant, Upper Lorraine, Alsace, Poitiers, Burgundy, Berry, Anjou, Paris, Champagne (212)
Liberal Regions: Penthievre, Blois, Lower Lorraine, Transjurania, Savoy, Provence, Dauphine, Gascony, Aquitaine, Bourbon, Auvergne (121)

Hispania (215 Electors):

Conservative Regions: Castille, Catalonia, Valencia, Toledo, Cordoba, Granada, Seville, Badajoz, Beja, Lisbon (138)
Liberal Regions: Murcia, Algarve, Galicia, Porto, Asturias, León, Navarre, Aragon (77)

National Result:
Conservative: 482 Electors
Liberal: 273 Electors
INP: 8 Electors

Conservatives win the Presidential Election. Laurence, 1st Duke of Warwick, becomes President, ending President Gloucester's second spell after just two years. Gloucester performed better than the Liberal Party did in the Parliamentary elections because of his popularity, but it wasn't enough to beat Warwick.

Emperor Peter appoints Prime Minister Mitchell and President Warwick and the Eleventh Parliament begins.....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

On December 1st 828, Parliament met to vote on the Great Project that would be constructed in Middlesex. The Conservative Party was split on the matter. Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell suggested that a Royal Palace be created so that the Emperor and his family could live outside of the shed. James Rack suggested that a Grand University be built to educate future leaders of the Empire. Wayne Westfield (of no relation to the infamous Joseph Westfield) suggested constructing a Grand Library to record the words of wise men. Gordon Nathaniel suggested building a Grand Fortress around the shed to protect it better (linking back to the death of Henry I in the Battle of the Shed). The retired former Conservative Party leader Mark Milkman wrote in a suggestion to build a Grand Cathedral. Finally, a group of backbenchers suggested an Imperial Mausoleum.

For what its worth, the Liberals and Beorn Southpot were opposed to public funds being spent (completely) so they didn't make a suggestion. The IUF and PNF requested that Francia and Iberia be the focus of future Conservative investment in Great Projects. However, what the INP and its leader did would shock everyone. Snedgus Ui Diarmait threw a loaf of bread at the Prime Minister (again), which wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part was when he started ripping his clothes off which revealed they were made of bread. He threw the bread at everyone. There was a sense of great discomfort, as there was now a naked old man throwing bread everywhere. Snedgus said "Is mise arán. Bhí arán orm ach nuair a bhí mé óg, ní raibh arán orm, bhí arán agam. An bhfuil libh arán?"

Most of the Parliament couldn't speak Irish, but to translate to English, he was saying "I am bread. I was wearing bread (literally: bread was on me) but when I was young, I did not wear bread, I had bread (literally: bread was not on me, I had bread). Are you all bread?" Snedgus was thrown out of Parliament and into the dungeon with the rats. The Conservative Party tried to get back on topic, but the rest of the INP started throwing bread at Prime Minister Mitchell in solidarity with their arrested leader. James Rack whispered to Oliver Mitchell "Should we ban bread seeing as these lot treat it as a weapon?". The Prime Minister refused as bread is a staple food for many people. Instead he suggested referring the INP to the Supreme Court. "Can we get this session back on topic, please, or does anyone else wish to make a fool of himself and his constituents" Mitchell stated.

The vote took place, and the results were in. A Grand Cathedral was to built in Middlesex. This Cathedral was to be called Westminster Abbey based on its location. Prime Minister Mitchell did not rule out building the palace elsewhere in Bedford if the funds allowed for it. Constructions Minister Rack stated that either Cambridge or Oxford would make a fine location for a Grand University, Mr. Westfield suggested that a Library be constructed somewhere, Mr. Nathaniel suggested the Fortress could be located in Granada of all places and the backbenchers suggested Chester as the location of the Mausoleum. However, even just one of these Great Projects would be expensive, so the Conservative Party could not afford any more grandiose election promises.

The Great Bread Matter, as some called the whole Snedgus debacle, would become a major talking point in coming days....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

December 4th 828:
Despite a national lockdown, thousands of protestors gathered outside Parliament to argue for the release of Snedgus Ui Diarmait. Then again, the INP believed that the lockdown was unjustified and that all diseases could be cured by drinking a mixture of bread and blood. The protestors surrounded the shed, and said they would only leave if Ui Diarmait was released and given an official apology by Prime Minister Mitchell. The Conservative Party refused to release Snedgus, and instead called on the Supreme Court to try him and bread. A trial date was set for December 7th.

December 5th 828:
The protestors continued to surround the shed. Snedgus Óg, the son of Snedgus, and a MLP from Cork in the Devolved Irish Parliament, arrived in Westminster to command the crowd. He demanded that his father be released and that the Prime Minister become an adherent of "The One True God Bob And His Holy Bread". Mitchell not only refused, but ordered the army to break up the protests, imprison the crowd, and make them co-defendants, with the additional charge of breaking lockdown rules.

December 6th 828:
Ben, Jeff and Fred had an emergency meeting. Their words are colour coded below (Blue - Jeff, Orange - Fred, Grey - Ben):
"What the (redacted) is going on?"
"What date is it tomorrow?"
"December 7th, but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Everything. You both have all your memories of what happens in your other worlds, right?"
"Yes" "Yes"
"It would appear that The Scriptwriters have decided that chaos mode is on, or maybe they already decided that at the beginning."
"He can't come here, can he? Lord John, I mean."
"No, the Guardian has made sure of it, but his presence can still be felt, he can still corrupt people with his darkness."
"How can we be sure, Ben? Isn't the Guardian dead?"
"Yes and no. He's dead in the sense that he can't just rock up and solve our problems. But he's still influencing us all, from the central world, a place like this one, where all Guardians live"
"Huh?"
"How do you think crossovers happen? Our Guardian explained it to me, that the Tether connects our universe to a place called Earth, which in turn is connected to the other parts of the multiverse. On Earth, the people known as authors are actually Guardians, who teach those not as lucky to have born with such a gift about the rest of the multiverse."
"So, why would chaos mode be on?"
"Usually, it means that the Guardian is going through a depressive spell, or Lord John is taking control, or Mr. Pervert is being philosophical. However sometimes the Guardian just likes to be chaotic."
"Am I going to die like I do in every story bar the one on your planet (I know I came back in Restoration, but we all did. I surely would have died in Chaos if its Snedgus hadn't started eating everything. In Anthology, I hadn't even shown up by the time it was canned)?"
"I can't say"
"You're a (redacted) seer Ben, if you can't say, who can?"
"Fred, we both know the rules, we have knowledge of what happens to us in all other universes, but we can't know about the one we currently reside in to prevent us from altering the script."
"Correct. I have a theory as to what's going on. In 2023, the Guardian starts the process of becoming an author on Earth to writing down the goings on in our universe, but he keeps discouraging himself from continuing because of his depressive thoughts. It could be that the chaos is being caused by him giving up on that."
"But why would that cause the chaos?"
"Because if a Guardian doesn't complete the transition to an Author, their universe is lost to time when they die on Earth. Usually the Tether shatters, we are separated from Earth permanently, and the only way our story can ever be told is if the Guardian appointed a designated successor, but that usually causes a universe merger, which prunes 'unnecessary' people. The chaos is said to be a way to force the Guardian to finish what they started."
"So killed by a serial killer, blown up by a terrorist, and surviving by virtue of being a background character in each of the three major worlds for me"
"So briefly mentioned in a remark by a true crime podcaster, becoming US President, and meeting your political archrival once for me"
"So unmentioned, mentioned in the Guardian's inner workings as Lord John takes over, and dying fighting my future grandson-in-law on the command of the Dark Lord himself."
"What's the difference between Lord John and the Dark Lord?"
"Lord John is the unacknowledged trauma, mental illness or some other thing consuming the Guardian and turning him from a caring and honest young man into a hypocritical grifter. The Dark Lord is the embodiment of true evil. Lord John says he wishes to be known as the most evil individual to ever live, but none can outdo the Dark Lord. Lord John is fundamentally the same person as the Guardian, just corrupted by his inner demons. The Dark Lord is the antithesis to the Guardian, but this is in the sense of how your God is opposed by an individual called Satan."
"I still don't understand"
"The Dark Lord indirectly causes all evil in the universe by corrupting the individuals who show signs of being easily corrupted. Lord John often makes outrageous claims and statements, and spouts a lot of conspiracy theories, but there isn't genuine contempt half of the time, he's just fanning the flames of a cult that worships him and convincing them to buy his merch. He would have been a dictator, but the whole arena thing wasn't going to happen, because he wasn't going to kill off a huge portion of an already small population he wanted to make his world's (and Earth's, if given the chance) main economic, cultural, scientific and sporting superpower. And most importantly, the Dark Lord only exists in our universe, there are other Dark Lords across the multiverse, but they are different individuals. Lord John exists in a weak state on Earth, but is growing stronger as the Guardian's mental health declines."
"But what are we going to do to stop the chaos?"
"Convince the Guardian that he will be a good Author, somehow, and also make sure Lord John is kept under lock and key, but can still contribute to the script. Oh, I nearly forgot, make sure Mr. Pervert doesn't end up getting the Guardian arrested, while still contributing to the script."
"What's his deal?"
"He's convinced that the Guardian is the most attractive individual on Earth, but that his disability is the only reason that women don't want to date him. He basically flip-flops between supporting the Guardian and buying into Lord John's conspiracy theories. He also believes that crimes are only illegal if you are actually caught."
"But if Lord John and Mr. Pervert are so dangerous, why are they needed for the script?"
"I tried to tell him that they are a part of who he is, they just are extreme manifestations of his trauma or mental illness (I'm not sure which one, or it could be some third unexplained cause) (in Lord John's case) and his sexuality (in Mr. Pervert's case), the reason why only they show up as 'voices in his head' is because they are the parts of his identity that he villainises and subconsciously embellishes, people on Earth have tried to tell him the same, but he's convinced that they're tearing him apart. And although they do have issues, they are also extremely creative. Lord John has an interest in politics, the Guardian has an interest in psychology and popular culture, and well, Mr. Pervert's interest is 'conversation'. A good script usually has at least two of the four."
"Isn't there supposed to be a trial tomorrow?"
"Yeah, there is"
"Oops, I forgot. Like the Guardian, I tend to get lost in planning things. We best get ready to watch tomorrow's trial."

The trio left their emergency meeting and prepared for the trial, which begins tomorrow....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

December 7th 828:

The Supreme Court of the British Empire is preparing to try INP Leader Snedgus Ui Diarmait for throwing bread at the Prime Minister. Of course, this case could determine if throwing bread is actually a crime or not. Gathered in the court is every defendant (i.e. the entire INP), each of the 10 Supreme Court Justices, the victim Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell, our band of heroes and some mystery figures.

Chief Justice: "We are here today to try the Irish Nationalist Party and its leader Snedgus Ui Diarmait for charges of assault and public indecency. How do you plea?"

Snedgus: "Is mise arán."

Associate Justice 1: "I don't think that he can speak English."

Associate Justice 8 (who is half-Irish): "Cad atá a phléadáil?"

Snedgus: "Arán."

Associate Justice 3: "WHAT IS YOUR PLEA?"

Snedgus: "Is mise arán."

Associate Justice 2: "Seeing as he won't plea, can we move on to the evidence section?"

Chief Justice: "No, we can't. We don't want to be sued."

Associate Justice 4: "I'm sure the Emperor won't mind."

Chief Justice: "It isn't about whether or not the Emperor minds, it is about principle. If we imprison him without a fair trial he could end up being released."

Snedgus: "Arán."

Associate Justice 5: "Does he only say bread?"

Associate Justice 6: "It appears to be so."

Snedgus: "Cad is ainm duit? Is mise arán."

Associate Justice 7: "Please stop saying bread and enter your plea."

Associate Justice 8: "Stop ag abair arán agus abair a phléadáil."

Snedgus: "Pléadálaim arán."

Associate Justice 9: "This is hopeless."

Chief Justice: "If you do not make a plea in the next minute, you will be convicted automatically."

Associate Justice 8: "Ná déanfá tú pléadáil i nóiméad amháín, ciontfaidh tú láithreach."

Snedgus: "Arán."

Chief Justice: "Snedgus Ui Diarmait, I hereby convict you of assault and public indecency. I sentence you to 5 weeks in prison."

---

Ben, Jeff and Fred had witnessed all of this as it went on. They discussed it in the shed once everyone else had dispersed. (Colour scheme for conversation stated in previous Chapter):

"Well that was a farce."
"Yet strangely it's probably only scraping the top ten farcical trials in our universe."
"Hang on, what could be more chaotic then the defendant constantly pleading bread?"
"Off the top of my head, a five year trial to convict a man who had been killing on and off for thirty years who never really denied that he committed them but refused to plead guilty."
"Ah, that's from the major world where I get killed by a serial killer, as in it takes them five years to actually convict him?"
"Yes."
"Matthew was right, the justice system only favours criminals, not victims."
"Hang on, this is the world where I'm referred to in a throwaway line by a true crime podcaster that more so references the obsession people have with true crime. Wasn't the killer a celebrity?"
"Correct."
"Yeah, he's Matthew's famous detective uncle who inspired him to become a detective."
"How come he didn't get caught earlier?"
"He kept destroying evidence and he had a certain charm that made people look the other way. Mr. Wilson knew that his uncle had a lot of incredibly controversial opinions, but constantly defended his character, despite believing that those opinions were morally wrong."
"But how could the authorities be so incompetent to not notice he was destroying evidence?"
"There was only 1 officer and 4 detectives in the office. The officer was usually away arresting whoever was being framed for the murders at any given time, and he killed off the other 2 detectives, who had spent most of their time alive bickering over 'culture wars'."
"And Matthew was shaking off the years of emotional abuse from his uncle before he was actually able to catch him, with the help of another detective from out of town (but extremely familiar to him) and a true crime podcaster."
"Hang on, if that's all it took to catch him, why didn't they send in someone from outside quicker?"
"Nobody sent the other detective, she came of her own accord while on a sabbatical. The podcaster had moved to the local area in the hopes of interviewing the main suspects of the murders (i.e. the people Mr. Wilson's uncle consistently tried to frame)."
"Why would a random detective decide to come solve an admittedly famous case while on sabbatical?"
"She was from the area originally. She's Matthew's first and only love but her parents forced her to move away because they didn't like him, and there was no good reason to dislike him."
"But how did all of this lead to a five year case?"
"He's a celebrity, so his fans protested outside the court saying that he was framed and that the two people he consistently tried to frame, a retired sex offender and Mr. Wilson's former Maths teacher, were actually working together. There was just one problem, they had been killed, so the fans blamed the next most obvious criminal, Mr. Wilson, despite the fact his entire family (with the exception of his uncle) had been brutally murdered when he was 16. He also refused to plead guilty and the prosecution didn't want to convict him until they had the identities of all 300+ of his victims (because obviously he wouldn't survive in prison because of the additional thing he'd do after killing his female victims, and the age of some of them). This all led to a farcical five year trial in which there is a change of government which decides that 'actually, we want to convict him to help our chances of re-election'."
"Doesn't Lord John like to bring this up a lot?"
"Yeah, while the Guardian rubs off a lot on Mr. Wilson, what with his slight naivete but kind heart, Lord John and Mr. Pervert are brought together to give you the killer of this world. He doesn't like to mention that he was part of the inspiration, but he does say at rallies that if his cultists don't behave, the killer will go after them. Yes, he seems to think that it is a true story."

Ben, Jeff and Fred leave their conversation for now, and prepare the next stage of their adventure. A debate had been planned between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition for December 10th, and the trio were going to attend....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

December 10th 828:
The shed is set up for a debate between Prime Minister Oliver Mitchell and Leader of the Opposition Beorn Southpot. The entirety of the shed's population (the MPs, the royal family, and the three heroes) was gathered to watch.

Moderator: "Today we will listen to a short and formal debate between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition. It better not be a repeat of the 811 debacle. Thank you."

Mitchell: "As your Prime Minister, I have led this great country for just over 7 years. In that short time we have constructed improvements to the constituencies of the Empire. Yes, there has been some challenges, but on the whole, the country has improved under Conservative leadership."

Southpot: "The current trajectory of this country is disgraceful. The Prime Minister's lockdowns have decimated the economy and the diseases are showing no signs of going away. The Liberal Party is committed to ending the lockdowns and rebuilding the economy."

Mitchell: "Erm... You do realise that this debate is about the recent trial, don't you?"

Southpot: "Yes, yes, but the trial was an excuse to deflect from your government's mismanagement of the Empire. Snedgus Ui Diarmait may be a weird fellow, but he did not deserve jail time for throwing nutritious food at you, Mr. Prime Minister."

Mitchell: "And what about the precedent it would set? How would we decide what can or can't be thrown at the Prime Minister?"

Southpot: "It's not about the precedent, it's about the freedom of expression. If that is how Mr. Ui Diarmait decides to express himself, who are we to stop him?"

Mitchell: "Didn't you throw Ui Diarmait out of the Liberal Party for throwing bread at you during the leadership election?"

Southpot: "That was different."

Mitchell: "Really? To me it just reeks of 'one rule for me, another for everyone else.'"

Southpot: "Throwing someone out of a political party and imprisoning them are two extremely different things."

Mitchell: (Imitating Southpot's voice) "It's not about the precedent, it's about the freedom of expression. If that is how Mr. Ui Diarmait decides to express himself, who are we to stop him?"

Southpot: "Membership of a political party has nothing to do with freedom of expression. It is up to the party to decide what behaviour is acceptable and what behaviour is unacceptable."

Mitchell: "Membership of a functioning society has nothing to do with freedom of expression. It is up to the government and the judiciary to decide what behaviour is legal and what behaviour is illegal."

Southpot: "Since when is bread illegal? Bread is delicious food."

Mitchell: "Bread is delicious, and it isn't illegal. Assaulting someone by throwing bread at them is."

Southpot: "Assault? You don't even have a scratch."

Mitchell: "Assault doesn't just cover physical violence, Mr. Southpot, I thought you would understand that considering it was the late Sir Roger Aster who assisted the judiciary in setting the legal definition of assault in the British Empire."

Moderator: "Get back on topic!"

Mitchell: "Right. Back to the matter at hand. We were debating whether or not Ui Diarmait's sentence was too harsh or too lenient."

Southpot: "It was far too harsh. He should have been forced to apologise at the absolute most."

Mitchell: "It was far too lenient. He got only 5 weeks in prison, he should have gotten at a minimum 5 years."

Moderator: "That's all we have time for today, goodbye everybody."

---

The three heroes, Ben, Jeff and Fred, remained in their seats even after everyone else had left. They began to discuss the debate.

"That was pretty mild, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, but anything would look mild in comparison to July 4th 2044."
"Ah, I'm dead in that world by 2044, what happened?"
"To start, in 2028, I helped a third party win the US Presidential Election (because one party was in total disarray after their candidate for 2024 was imprisoned and the incumbent party decided to pick the most incompetent candidate in history, when they had a two-term Vice-President ready to take over). The 47th President, Albert Jones, serves one term until his assassination on October 23rd 2032 (yes, just under 2 weeks before the election) during a coup by the 48th President, Henry Theodosius Smith. Despite being just 30 years old, Smith is declared President by the army and a group of sympathisers in Congress, and acknowledging his severe election weaknesses (namely his belief that women are responsible for everything wrong in the world), strangles the competition."
"Jeff, I know that, I died when his supporters stormed the Capitol to prevent the Designated Survivor from taking over. Get to the point, because I sure know Smith wasn't going to be having a debate on Independence Day."
"True, it was Lord John who was the main figure of the debate. On October 23rd, while the US was in the midst of a coup, Lord John revealed that he had faked his death and emerged as the leader of a movement that called themselves Intellect Est Supreme. Over the course of 11 and a half years, he built his support base and wealth to prepare for his takeover of the Irish state. As he was building his movement, a coalition government appointed a leader who lasted for 4 weeks, which sent the economy spiraling to levels of inflation not seen since the 20s. The 1920s, to be precise. Then there were a few more leaders before they landed on a man named Marcus O'Donnell, who was seen as a hero who prevented IES from winning the 2039 General Election. When O'Donnell was appointed in October 2042, his approval rating was in the low 60s. Remember that. Lord John's was in the high 30s but had been slowly yet steadily rising since 2032."
"So how did O'Donnell go from hero to clearly having a catastrophic debate performance in less than two years?"
"The problem with the approval ratings is that it didn't take into account the disastrous state of the economy, the popularity of the moderate wing of IES with the general public, and that O'Donnell's addiction and marital troubles hadn't come to light yet."
"The thing was, O'Donnell didn't stop IES from winning in 2039, Lord John cost his movement the chance to win, because the entire manifesto of the coalition by 2039 was 'keep Lord John from power at all costs' and he was seen as far too extreme. The period from October 2042 to July 2044 saw a radical shift in Irish politics. In 2034 and 2039, the coalition retained power (albeit by the skin of their teeth in '39) because voters were voting against IES and Lord John. O'Donnell's incompetent leadership, which included bringing back the 4-week guy to a major role in Cabinet (to unsuccessfully try and stop the moderate right from going to IES), to alienating the left to the point that most of them were just going to stay at home and a minority went to IES. By the time of the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating had declined to approximately 15% while Lord John's had only risen to about 45%. However, the approval ratings had never taken into account voters who didn't approve of either but indicated they would vote for who they saw as the lesser of two evils."
"If O'Donnell's approval rating was so low, why didn't his party try to remove him?"
"They felt there wasn't enough time until the election. But also, O'Donnell's main skill was debating, while his main opponent had never debated in his life and his rallies consisted of people worshipping him. There was a consensus in the coalition that if O'Donnell screwed up the debate, then IES would win a landslide in the election even if they changed leader."
"So how did he screw up?"
"A number of reasons. Firstly, his reputation was in the gutter, meaning his skills as an orator didn't mean much. Secondly, the effects of his addiction were intensifying (he had a minor overdose the day before the debate). Thirdly, he was always too cautious and unwilling to fight back against Lord John's increasingly personal attacks for fear of losing the moral high ground. Fourthly, the coalition hadn't factored in the possibility that Lord John's protege would turn out to be an excellent orator despite his youth (he was just 19), and brought a pretty sizable minority (that he was a member of) into the IES fold. And finally, Lord John was coherent, at least by his rambling standards. He did accuse celebrities of being AI-Generated (note, not their work, but the celebrities themselves) and went on a 15-minute tangent about bread at one point, but he also successfully unveiled his ambitious, 2000-page manifesto which laid out the vision IES had for the next century."
"Before the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating was 15% and Lord John's was 45%. The polling indicated that out of those who would vote for anybody, the coalition would win 37% of seats, while IES would win 55% (Independents would win the rest). After the debate, O'Donnell's approval rating slipped to 5%, Lord John's rose to 51%, and the polling shifted to 17% coalition, 75% IES and 8% Independents. Note that the Independent vote was projected to remain constant, the shift was from reluctant coalition to reluctant IES. Remember the protege? His approval rating after his cameo at the debate was a whopping 72%, the highest of anyone in the country. The main thing was that voters hoped that Lord John's ramblings were a sign of declining health (despite being in his late 30s) and that IES could force him to stand aside in favour of his more coherent, more popular protege."
"If we infer what we know about Lord John, how could anyone screw up against him? Surely people would have to set aside their differences to stop him?"
"That was the problem. Lord John was more than happy to take advantage of coalition infighting, and present it as a case for his proposed dictatorship. He utilised the economic plight to advocate for his control over the economy (as he had stopped raising prices at his businesses in 2040, and was still a billionaire). He used the public breakdown of O'Donnell's marriage caused by his affairs to advocate for a return to an older age of morality. He used circumstantial evidence or flimsy scientific research to advance his agenda. He took advantage of church scandals to stir up anti-religious hatred and to advocate for a complete crackdown on religion. Of course, his most powerful weapons were charm and fear. He charmed a movement to become a tool for his own agenda, and scared a significant amount of the population into supporting him."
"People were just fed up with the coalition's incompetence and corruption, so many of them turned to the one alternative they had. Well, there was another, but they had no interest in elections, just in assassinating politicians."

The heroes left and prepared for the next mission, which would involve time travel (sort of).....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

December 17th 828:

Although a week had passed, our heroes were busy preparing for the next chaos to happen. Ben, Jeff and Fred were thinking of what could possibly happen.

"We know who's coming next."
"Who?" "Who?"
"The Dark Lord, or at least someone working for him."
"You don't think... It could be your father?"
"No, it's not my father or anyone from my home world, but they are working for the Dark Lord."
"Is something wrong? You're twitching a lot."
"That happens when I'm in seer mode."
"What do you see?"
"Nothing much, remember I can't really interfere with this world. But there is an axe, a lot of bread, and statues of an individual called Bob."
"Bob?"
"Oh no"

Following this, a portal opened and out stepped an individual.

"Hey there, I'm Rob."
"Who?"
"Rob, the brother of Bob. But I'm here to help you beat him, as he's coming to destroy your world as revenge for the Scriptwriters abandoning ours."
"Hold up, I thought only people like Fred and myself could exist in different worlds at once? Ben is only here as a clone, the original is still on his home world."
"This world seems to be chaos prime. Time travel isn't possible for anyone who isn't the Guardian, yet Henry I time travelled from 2024 to 769. This Bob having immense power means that we're in the real outskirts of the universe. Like even further out than the football worlds."
"What's going on in the football worlds at the moment?"
"There appears to be a solar system of 14 football worlds being created as we speak. Well the first one has been created, but the others are waiting for earlier ones to finish forming. In World A, Brazil is dominating continental (and global) football and an Argentine side won their first league title in 94 years as the traditional giants underperformed."
"That sounds nice, a smalltown, underdog team."
"They, like half of Argentina's league, are from Buenos Aires."
"Hello, do you want to beat Bob?"
"Yes."
"I have weapons to give you."

Fred took an old rusty dagger, Jeff took a golden sword and Ben took a familiar (to him) shield. "It's been a while" he whispered to the shield. Then a training montage begins. The montage lasts for about 10 hours. Then, Rob, Ben, Jeff and Fred are ready to take on Bob.....

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

December 18th 828:

Ben, Jeff, Fred and Rob gathered outside the shed. A portal opened. "Brother, we've been expecting you", declares Rob. Bob, a giant man (although much shorter than Ben), was carrying a similarly giant loaf of bread. All of a sudden, other figures appeared behind Bob. And for some reason, they were all naked and holding bread in their hands. The INP rushed out to join Bob and his nudist army. The rest of Parliament was amazed by the chaos going on, and decided to spectate.

Bob spoke. "If you let me destroy this world, I will spare everyone and let them join the Icelandic faith." Of course, that didn't make any sense, how could he spare people if he destroyed the world they were living in? Ben simply replied "Never!" Rob said "Your time is up brother, surrender now and we'll be kind to you." Bob laughed, and gestured for the leader of the army to duel Fred.

Fred, armed with just a rusty dagger (yes that rusty dagger), was up against Eirik, Bob's faithful servant and warrior, a naked man who was adept with both kinds of sword.
Eirik cried out "FOR BOB!" and the duel commenced.

Fred tried to stab Eirik, but the warrior was very good at dodging him. Fred on the other hand, was struggling but just about able to dodge Eirik's attacks. This back and forth continued for half an hour. Eventually, both wounded each other.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!" screamed Fred. Eirik died almost instantly because of the potency of the rusty dagger. Fred, however, still had some time left. The INP threw bread at Fred to try and kill him faster, but that didn't work.

Bob sent Unnr, a daughter of Eirik, to fight Jeff. Jeff had a golden sword, while Unnr didn't have a weapon, just a large barrel of beer. She offered Jeff the beer. "Sorry, I don't drink alcohol." "It wasn't an offer" she declared. She forced the beer down Jeff's throat. Jeff started to stumble. "I don't feel so good." Thud.

Bob prevented Ben and Fred from trying to help Jeff as Unnr surrounded him and began to remove his clothes. However, he woke up just as she was trying to remove his underwear and stabbed her with the golden sword. She died instantly and collapsed on top of him, crushing him to death. Just as Jeff died, Fred died as well.

Bob and Rob faced off against each other, but Bob killed and ate his brother. So it was up to Ben to end this. Ben grabbed his shield and ran towards Bob. When Bob tried to use his powers on Ben, Ben used the shield to deflect it. He started hitting Bob with the shield. Ben got his wand out and uttered a spell that killed Bob.

Ben saw the death before him, and decided that he was going to leave. He bid farewell to everyone in the shed, and returned to his home world, merging the clone with the original....