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The friendship between Marisol and Aisling is very cute.

I like how between the three Psionic characters in Team Marisol, Kanti and Sebakhira act like know-it-alls, and Trig is just a teenager with too much mindreading powers.

I think Marisol has some more dark secrets. The narration once referred to some... unpleasant... things she had to do to make ends meet. Can't wait for next chapter.

I was hesitating on whether I would point out the YouTube videos' inaccessability, but I see you've solved my dilemma.
 
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I like how between the three Psionic characters in Team Marisol, Kanti and Sebakhira act like know-it-alls, and Trig is just a teenager with too much mindreading powers.
I've had to stop myself a few times while writing this story and remind myself: "Don't forget Trig is 14!"

*For those who are new: there was a running gag in Song of the Solitaire about how Trig was girl-crazy and his mind was constantly "in the gutter." I've made an effort to bring this gag over to The Broken Gates, but it just comes up far less often because we don't get Trig's POV in this story. (Which is a good thing, considering Trig's inner monologue contains sexual content about 80% of the time. Its safe to assume he has already given every female character in this story the "undressing with the eyes" look at least once)

I think Marisol has some more dark secrets. The narration once referred to some... unpleasant... things she had to do to make ends meet. Can't wait for next chapter.
Oh, yes. That revelation is actually slated to happen very soon.


I was hesitating on whether I would point out the YouTube videos' inaccessability, but I see you've solved my dilemma.
Yeah, YT vexed me on that one. Consequences of attempting to schedule 8 uploads at once.
 
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Episode Fifteen: I am destruction. And I WILL destroy you.
MIDPOINT!

As previously promised, Whetu Kealoha is fully clothed from here on out.

Also, I lost my voice while recording the action scene at the end of this chapter. I think I'm out of practice. o_O




The Broken Gates
Episode Fifteen: I am destruction. And I WILL destroy you.



Whetu Kealoha
Creation
Detroit, Michigan



Very slowly, Whetu reached out and took the clothing offered to her. It was nothing remarkable: just a red tube top.

“Go on. I’m waiting.” Said a harsh voice.

Kailani Kalili had infiltrated the hideout used by Whetu and her teammates. Nobody knew exactly when she had gotten inside, or how she found it, but the insane Partogan was now holding four Creations at gunpoint. Moka, Dak, and Kiri were all staring at the plasma pistol in Kailani’s hand.

No one was certain if Kailani’s weapon was functional. It was waterlogged thanks to the Uicse’s river attack, and the author had never written a scene in which a plasma weapon suffered water damage, so nobody knew what would happen if Kailani pulled the trigger.

Her arms shaking, Whetu pulled the tube-top over her head and down over her torso.

“There you go, you look like less of a slut now.” Kailani said, swaying dangerously on her feet. “Seriously, way-too, you’re living proof of the writer being so pitifully lonely.”

“My name is pronounced veh-too.” Whetu said in a low, threatening voice. “I did what you asked, I put on a top. Now are you going to lower that gun or what?”

“Holy fucking Sajuuk, I wish I could see your face.” Kailani laughed. “You sound so pissed off.”

Moka did a double-take, looking from Kailani to the ceiling light. The room was fully illuminated. There was no reason for anyone’s face to be hidden from view.

“Put the gun down Kalili.” Dak said in a slow tone. “It’s not us you’re angry at.”

“Well, what do you know!? This guy’s got it right.” Kailani laughed. “I’m not angry at any of you faceless freaks. I’m angry at the guy who took away my happiness! And I don’t see him here.”

“We can bring you to him.” Kiri said; hands still raised. “Just put the gun down and let’s talk about it.”

“Yeah, let’s talk.” Moka added.

Moka, Kiri, and Dak were trying to distract Kailani, to make her look away from Whetu and create an opening for Whetu to use Psionics without being shot. Kailani did not take the bait. Instead, she kept her eyes locked on Whetu’s chest, roughly at the point where she was aiming her pistol.

“Not until your friend gets here.” Kailani hissed.

So, the standoff continued. For several tense minutes, Whetu stared into Kailani’s eyes, reaching out with telepathic energy. What Whetu found frightened her.

Kailani Kalili was insane.

At some point during her own story, Kailani had been subjected to a telepathic assault that left her mind permanently damaged. Many Psionic techniques were going to be useless against Kailani, as her mind was already broken.

“And here they come.” Dak breathed out the corner of his mouth.

Two people walked up the porch and opened the front door.

“What the hell have you guys been doing?” Akira Robinson’s voice echoed out of the entryway and into the rest of the house. “You do know that Uicse’s been calling for help for the past half-hour, right?”

Akira and Tenna walked headlong into the standoff. Kailani turned on the spot, intending to point her weapon at Akira.

Whetu, Akira, and Tenna all reacted instinctively, blasting Kailani with Psionic attacks. The telekinetic force rushing through the building was so intense that the ceiling cracked, sending dust down the assembled group below. All of the lights went out, and moments later, Kailani stepped forward.

She was completely unharmed.

Whetu gasped in fright as Kailani pressed the barrel of her plasma pistol into Akira’s chest.

“I can see the Ark Angel patch on your vest.” Kailani said. “You must be Akira Robinson. Let’s take a walk, you and me.”



Akira Robinson
Creation
Detroit, Michigan



Akira and Kailani left the safehouse together, the latter pressing her gun into the former’s back. The odd couple walked through the run-down neighborhood for about a minute.

“Where are we going?” Akira asked as soon as she was clear of the safehouse.

“You’re going to use that Return Beacon.” Kailani said. “And you’re gonna take me to your boss.”

“That’s…” Akira started to speak, but something odd happened.

She wanted to say “That’s a terrible idea.” But instead, Akira actually said:

“That’s a wonderful idea. My master can put your mind right in an instant.”

She started to reach for the Return Beacon in her vest pocket. At the same time, a tiny voice spoke in the back of her mind.

Why are we doing this? Malum’s gonna brainwash her.

An authoritative voice in Akira’s head reminded her that “being immersed in Malum’s power” was a good thing.

No it’s not. The tiny voice replied. I’m under Mind Control right now.

The authoritative voice reminded Akira that she was in love with Malum Ralpakin. The tiny voice quickly responded:

In the same way I was in love with Rafi Bakir? He took advantage of me while I was drugged. He raped me. I thought I loved him. I defended Rafi, I mourned his death. What makes Malum different from Rafi?

It was as though a barrier in Akira’s mind was suddenly knocked down. Memories of Rafi Bakir, a man from her backstory, came flooding into the forefront of her mind. Akira remembered everything from those early days, the promise she made to her older sister, her quest to remake history and create the “perfect future.”

Akira had broken free from Mind Control.

The act of regaining control had caused Akira to stop moving. Kailani let out an angry scoffing sound and tapped the back of Akira’s head with her gun.

“We goin’ to see Ralpakin or what?” Kailani said.

“Yes…” Akira replied, “Yes we are.”

As Akira pulled the trigger on the Return Beacon, her Psionic aura was fully restored. For the first time since her initial encounter with Malum Ralpakin, Akira was fully in control of herself.



Malum Ralpakin
Creation
200 meters beneath Rattia City, Alaria



Malum Ralpakin was hiding in a place where the author would have trouble finding him. He was inside the world of one of Blake Robinson’s older books, a comedy called Grand Theft Stellaris.

The Great Khan’s hideout was in the bow section of an old starship buried underneath a city on an alien planet. The Alari people above knew a space pirate called Vaki D’Jir had buried her treasure beneath their city, but only certain aristocrats knew the exact location, and Malum had already brought them onto his side.

In fact one of those aristocrats was at his side right now…

Aris D’Kara, mother of protagonist Cali D’Kara, entered the Harem chamber cautiously, tiptoeing around the many alien women who were busy pampering the Great Khan.

Malum sat up in his bed as Aris approached.

“You come with news… news of an unexpected visit.” Malum said.

“Yes, master.” Aris replied. “Akira Robinson has just come through the Broken Gate with a stranger. She demands to see you.”

“Very well.” Malum said. “I’m certain it is an unscheduled update on the construction of the Stockholm Gate. This should not take long.”



Malum entered his throne room, flanked by advisors and concubines. Akira Robinson was already there, Kailani was pointing a plasma pistol at Akira’s head while several courtiers and a few armed guards looked on in alarm.

“You are simultaneously brave and foolish.” Malum said. He stood next to his throne, resting one arm on the decorative headrest. “You know I cannot give you what you seek. It would destroy you.”

Malum could see Kailani’s deepest desire. It played on repeat in the forefront of her mind. She wanted to return to the moment where her body and mind were assimilated by the Beast; a cosmic nightmare monster that appeared in one of Blake’s oldest books.

“I never felt bliss like that before.” Kailani seethed. “You took it away from me! I’ll take everything from you!”

Malum’s face twitched.

At once, Kailani dropped her pistol and fell to her knees. She clutched at her head with both hands and screamed!

Using only the faintest trace of his own Psionic power, Malum was crushing Kailani’s head in a telekinetic vice.

“You are damaged beyond repair.” Malum said. “Perhaps you could have been saved, but you have interfered in my work and done irreversible harm. For that I cannot forgive you.”

Malum balled up his hand into a fist and bared his teeth. Kailani let out a sickening gurgle and collapsed to the floor. She was dead.

“Get that out of here.” Malum seethed.

A group of servants moved forward, but were stopped by Akira’s voice.

“Actually… I wanted to ask you about your work… Ralpakin.”

A shimmering aura of Psionic energy had enveloped Akira. Malum glanced at her and quickly realized she had broken free of his control for the third time.

“This is not a conversation to have in the presence of those not concerned with it.” Malum replied.

He stepped away from the throne, starting to gather up his own powers. It was clear that Akira was steeling herself for a fight. Many of the courtiers and concubines were now cautiously making their way to the exits.

“Fascinating.” Malum said. “I’ve never encountered someone who rejected my love so… consistently.”

“Things work differently in my world.” Akira replied. “That includes Psionics. Might want to factor that into your whole ‘conquer the multiverse’ plan… or have you moved on from that?”

A wave of anger surged through the Great Khan.

“I am not a conqueror. I am a liberator. I am the supreme force of the multiverse! I am creation. I am destruction. And I WILL destroy you.”

“You’re like me.” Akira spat. “Or rather, you’re like how I used to be. Holy Jericho… I tried to do the same thing as you. No wonder Blake wrote me as a villain! I’m just as bad as you!”

Bright blue Soulfire ignited in Akira’s hands. She held the supernatural flames aloft, ready to strike out against Malum. Several people around the throne room gasped in fright. When Malum took a step toward Akira, the floor splintered and cracked beneath his feet.

“Your life is forfeit, Akira Robinson.” Malum growled.

“Sounds better than being in bed with you.” Akira said.

Malum conjured a Psionic Lance and hurled it toward Akira. It struck an invisible barrier and flickered out of existence. A moment later, Akira pointed her palm up and vented a cone of Soulfire into the ceiling. In seconds, the throne room was enveloped in an inferno.

Malum realized that Akira was not trying to kill him. She was attempting to destroy the buried starship and everyone inside. Malum refocused on Akira, gathering up his telepathic energies for another strike.

Akira knelt down and slammed one of her hands on the cold metal floor. Cold and harsh Psionic energy funneled out of Akira’s body, through the floor, and into the corpse of Kailani Kalili.

“What is this madness!?” Malum shouted.

Akira laughed, then replied in a singsong tone.

“Ha! Are you kidding me? Reanimation really isn’t a Psionic power in your world!? Well then, have fun!”

Akira turned around and started running toward the Broken Gate. Malum tried to follow, but the zombified corpse of Kailani threw itself into his path.

Malum blasted the zombie with Soulfire, but the corpse felt no pain. Ignoring the blue flames, the zombie stumbled forward and grabbed onto his arm.

“That’s enough!” Malum shouted.

Using telekinesis, he tore Kailani’s body into many small, bloody pieces. At the same time, part of the ceiling collapsed as Akira’s Soulfire continued tearing through the room.

“ROBINSON!” Malum shouted, running full-tilt into the hallway.

Malum knew the way to reach the Gate Chamber. He reached it in seconds, just in time to see Akira disappearing through the ring-shaped gate. Filling his mind with thoughts about Stockholm, Malum tried to follow Akira through the gate.

As soon as he reached the perimeter, Malum was wracked with overwhelming pain! The left side of his body was covered in Soulfire scars; terrible injuries caused by Malum’s son, Trig Shepminter during a battle long past. As Malum attempted to cross the gate, these scars seemed to catch fire once again, burning with such intensity that Malum was blinded by the pain.

He collapsed in front of the Broken Gate and roared:

“ROBINSON!!”



 
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Good to see more of the story from Malum's point of view. This is a very interesting development. More chaos in a story filled with chaos.

*For those who are new: there was a running gag in Song of the Solitaire about how Trig was girl-crazy and his mind was constantly "in the gutter." I've made an effort to bring this gag over to The Broken Gates, but it just comes up far less often because we don't get Trig's POV in this story. (Which is a good thing, considering Trig's inner monologue contains sexual content about 80% of the time. Its safe to assume he has already given every female character in this story the "undressing with the eyes" look at least once)
By the end of Song of the Solitaire, Trig seemed to have matured a bit. Perhaps it was the heavy nature of what he had to do in the story along with seeing various futures.

Because of his limited time in this sequel, Trig seems to have regressed.
 
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I loved Captain Yoshido's announcement at the beginning. It was priceless.

Emily and Aisling's relationship is nice.

Does Marisol only write smut? If so, how much plot is in those works?

I like this twist in Akira's arc. It's terrible for making my Stormbreakers spinoff compliant with this, of course, but that's irrelevant. We're all just stories in the end.
If you're curious, the idea for the spinoff is... what if Paradox actually succeeded? Technically, the more specific idea was what if Mira died at Aoraki and Akira adopted Jericho...

By the way, is Akira completely free from Mind Control? That doesn't necessarily make her Blake's ally, but it does make her a better person. Still, how much is she influenced by her time under Mind Control? She was under its effects since All Our Sins Remembered. Assuming that she lives in the 116th Cycle, she was under that condition for more than one and a half trillion years (of in-universe time but still).
 
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and the author had never written a scene in which a plasma weapon suffered water damage, so nobody knew what would happen if Kailani pulled the trigger.
This got a laugh out of me, despite the tense circumstances. It's like that old saying 'If a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?'
Kailani let out a sickening gurgle and collapsed to the floor. She was dead
This was unexpected. Does her zombie form have any thoughts, or is it just a living corpse?
He collapsed in front of the Broken Gate and roared:

“ROBINSON!!”
Akira seems much stronger than Malum. But that could just be Akira's element of surprise and him being caught off guard. I bet he'll have a plan for her next time they meet.
 
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Angel of War announcement
Double Announcement!

This was going to be the post where I announce my annual summer Hiatus. (US Army National Guard doing its thing again) But then @HistoryDude placed a wrench in the works by tossing the Fan of the Week AwAARd at me while my back was turned. So now, instead of one special pre-departure post... you're getting two! :D As always, the next chapter of The Broken Gates will be posted ahead of schedule to mark the occasion... but it was scheduled to go up on Friday and I have not done any of the voiceover/video editing/uploading yet. Optimistically, I think I can get Chapter 16 up by Thursday morning.

But one extra chapter isn't enough. Not when I'm about to vanish for two weeks. So here's the plan: Tonight, I'm going to share an announcement post that I was saving for later... that way I can buy myself some extra time to put the finishing touches on Chapter 16 and post it at least one day earlier than intended.

So... please allow me to share a special post with you a little earlier than planned:



We are halfway through The Broken Gates! Thank you all so much for reading this strange and experimental story so far. This story has worked my brain so hard that writing it can be exhausting. Fun... but exhausting. Now that I'm halfway through the current story, that means (by my own personal rules) I can start writing my next story.

I've decided that after the mind-bending madness of The Broken Gates, I want to go back into my comfort zone for a little while. My next story will be extremely reminiscent of my older tales: Beautiful young woman embarks on a sci-fi adventure aboard a spaceship. Lighthearted comedy and sexually charged situations scattered throughout.

To that end, allow me to announce my next Stellaris story:

Angel of War
Voyage of the Starship Marathon
Angel of War: Voyage of the Starship Marathon

TECHNICAL AND HISTORICAL BIBLE​





Table of Contents:

  1. Galactic Map
  2. Recent Galactic History
  3. The Nebelkrieg (Nebula War)
  4. Factions of the Nebelkrieg – Coalition
  5. Factions of the Nebelkrieg – Fellowship
  6. Factions of the Nebelkrieg – Augments
  7. Technical Breakdown: [Marathon]
  8. Dossier: [Ino Esperanta]



PART 1: Galactic Map

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PART 2: Recent Galactic History:

  1. Founding of the Trinary Coalition
    • The Commonwealth of Earth, Republican Cyandite Holdings, and Kodranite Confederation ratified the Interstellar Mutual Defense Treaty in 2155, agreeing to cooperate with each other in conflicts against ancient mining drones and space ameobas, both of which were widespread in the region at the time.
  2. The Galactic Community
    • The Galactic Community was established by the Coalition, Glebsig Foundation, Astral Fellowship, Theian Administation, and Empire of Axpentl to facilitate negotiations about the creation of interstellar laws. The first meeting of the Galactic Senate occurred in 2212.
  3. Axpentl-Coalition Border dispute
    • Coalition member-state Kodranite Confederation laid claim to 21 Axpentl systems over 15 years as relations continued to deteriorate. Cross-border skirmishes eventually led to all Coalition members closing their borders to the Empire.
  4. Planetary Revolts in the Outer Limb
    • On the western side of the galaxy, the Confederacy of Qa-Adash and Fex’Klanga Empire were both rocked by multiple planetary rebellions. Both empires fragmented into multiple smaller states that have been warring with each other for the past 20 years.
  5. Discovery of the Tiyana Vek Wormhole
    • A Human science vessel entered the Tiyana Vek star system intending to study the Tiyanki Homeworld. Instead found a wormhole leading to a region of space controlled by the Augmented Cevantian Administration.
  6. Beginning of Coalition-Augment relations
    • The Earth Commonweath government expressed a strong desire to build friendly relations with the Augments, to ensure the far end of the Tiyana Wormhole was secured against any foe that could threaten Earth.
  7. The Manifesti Revolution
    • A nonsensical political movement briefly paralyzes the Parliament of Earth. While the Manifestis never seized power, they left a lasting legacy on the art world and Coalition culture.
  8. The Axpentl Border War
    • Skirmishes across the disputed border erupted into a shooting war (primarily led by the Kodranite Confederation) in the year 2218. This was Humanity’s first major interstellar war. All of the combat in this war occurred in space, with actual combatants never seeing each other face-to-face. Many of the lessons learned from this conflict would be applied during the Nebelkrieg ten years later.
  9. Fellowship Invasion and Partition of Qix’Lufran
    • While the Coalition was distracted fighting the Empire, the Desstican Astral Fellowship set off on a long-running series of conquests. Starting in 2214, the Fellowship launched an invasion of the Alliance of Qix’Lufran, cutting the county in half and vassalizing the northern rump state. This pattern would repeat as the Fellowship attacked its neighbors one at a time and carving out new vassals and tributary-states.
  10. Continued Growth of the Coalition-Augment Friendship
    • Alarmed by the Fellowship’s conquests, Coalition diplomats began aggressively pursuing stronger relationships with the Augmented Cevantians. On the homefront, local governments launched an aggressive propaganda campaign in the theocratic Cyandite Holdings to prepare citizens for friendship with cybernetic people.
  11. Augment Association with the Coalition
    • In 2224, the Augmented Cevantian Administration accepted association status with the Trinary Coalition, publicly signaling its intent to join the Coalition in the future. This action prompted angry rhetoric from the Astral Fellowship, who insisted that the Weeping Ghost Nebula (the region of space Augments call home) lies entirely within the Desstican sphere of influence and that the Coalition has no right to operate there.
  12. Augments on Earth and the Blade of the Huntress
    • In 2225, following the negotiation of a Migration Treaty, Humans and Augments began to pass freely through the Tiyana Wormhole to settle on each other’s worlds. A period of mutual exploration took place that climaxed with the discovery of the Blade of the Huntress by a visiting Augment scientist. The Blade is now on display at the Human Parliament Building in Beijing.
  13. Munytha Thoso takes over Fellowship, announces Cosmic Doctrine
    • In the final weeks of 2225, the Desstican Astral Fellowship announced the selection of a new First Ascendant. Munytha Thoso was a high-ranking member of the Dimensional Covenant, a religious organization that had subsumed all aspects of national government in Desstican space. First Ascendant Thoso announced a new doctrine that, among other things, proclaimed the Weeping Ghost Nebula and its Wormhole exit to be divine objects. He also denounced the use of cybernetics, artificial intelligence, and the concept of cybernetic ascension entirely; using genocidal language while describing the Augmented Cevantian people.
  14. Fellowship Invades Cevasia
    • The Desstican Astral Fellowship launched a military invasion of the Weeping Ghost Nebula in December 2226, overran Cevasia, and established a tributary government to rule the Augments living in the region. The Coalition immediately began to demand the Fellowship’s withdrawal from the nebula. Human covert operatives simultaneously started to seek out a way to deny access to the Tiyana Wormhole, as the wormhole allows access to a vulnerable region of Human territory.
  15. Nebelkrieg begins
    • Renowned Paragon Gia’Zumon delivered an impassioned speech to Coalition Congress on January 1, 2227, reminding her colleagues that the time for talk had passed. Congress unanimously voted to declare war against the Desstican Astral Fellowship, with the explicit goal of ejecting the invaders from the Weeping Ghost Nebula and liberating the Augmented people before any genocidal action could occur. During a subsequent press conference, the Coalition Secretary-General (a German-born Human) gave the war its name: War in the Nebula. Nebelkrieg.


PART 3: The Nebelkrieg (Nebula War)

The war draws its name from the region where the conflict takes place. The Weeping Ghost Nebula is a stellar nursery where a cluster of newly-formed stars can be found. The region contains deposits of the strategic resource Zro, as well as Astral Threads and the all-important exit point of the Tiyana Wormhole. Cevasia, the Augment Homeworld, can also be found here.

Dense gasses and dust veins blown by stellar wind interfere with starship sensors, making navigation in the nebula very difficult. Using sensors to detect enemy vessels is extremely difficult here.


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PART 4: The Coalition (BLUFOR)

The Trinary Coalition is a Martial Alliance, founded by the Sol, Afrmkye, and Fulaz star systems in the mid 2150’s. The purpose of the alliance was to allow the fledgling star nations to defend themselves and each other against space amoebas and ancient mining drones, both of which were a scourge during this time. The alliance has since reworked itself to focus on defending against larger star nations.

The Coalition government consists of a Congress (to write laws) and an executive in the form of the Secretary-General. (to execute those laws) The Presidency of the Coalition rotates from one member to the next. The current President is the Earth Commonwealth.

The Coalition operates its own military forces, to which the member states can contribute their own starships and soldiers. The President commands coalition forces. Meritocracy is a crucial tenant of the Coalition. Promotion and advancement are completely dependent on field-proven skills and aptitude tests (both written and physical exams are administered yearly)


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PART 5: The Astral Fellowship (OPFOR)

The Desstican Astral Fellowship is a highly authoritarian theocratic state centered around the Dimensional Covenant: the worship of Astral Scars. (a stellar phenomena that is the subject of intense scientific study) Under the dictatorial leadership of the First Ascendant, the Fellowship is made up of the Dessticans, a Necrophage race that seeks out pre-FTL people and pre-sapient lifeforms and uses them in sacrificial ceremonies at the Chamber of Ascension on Dekron. (the Desstican Homeworld)

The Astral Fellowship is considered an enemy of the Coalition due to their extremely frequent genocidal actions including (but not limited to) mass abduction, forced mass relocation, and mass sentient sacrifice. The Coalition fears the day when the Fellowship gains access to the Tiyana Wormhole, as this would make it possible for the Fellowship to attack Coalition territory from two directions simultaneously.


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PART 6: The Augments (INDFOR)

The Augmented Cevantian Administration is the government ruling over the Weeping Ghost Nebula. The Cevantian people are bipedal Humanoids. At some point in their distant past, before first contact with the Coalition, the Cevantian people underwent an event they call “the Cybernetic Revolution.” Their civilization as a whole developed a powerfully strong interest in Cybernetic Ascension. Even before achieving spaceflight, the Cevantians had already started down the long and arduous process of transforming themselves into Synthetic lifeforms, to shed the limitations imposed by their imperfect organic bodies.

All Cevantians are taught to understand that the process of Ascension will be very long and challenging, and that it will take several dozen generations to be fully completed. However, the fusion of the “exalted body and holy cybernetics” is a divine outcome that will be worth the time and effort. To the Cevantians, augmenting their own bodies with cybernetic technology is a deeply religious experience to be celebrated. Ritualistic implants are given to people at all ages, from small children to the elderly.

In the modern day, the Cevantians strongly prefer to be called “Augments,” a name that reflects their halfway status in the Ascension process. Very few Augments exist outside of the Weeping Ghost Nebula. Prejudice and discrimination against Cybernetic and Synthetic lifeforms is widespread across the galaxy, and the Augments know they have no friends outside of the Coalition.

Before the 2226 Invasion, the leaders of the Desstican Astral Fellowship publicly announced and discussed their plans to carry out genocidal action against the Augments. Now that the Fellowship’s invasion of Cevasia has actually occurred, such action is considered inevitable.



PART 7: Technical Breakdown (The UNS Marathon)


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The UNS Marathon (CSN-116) is the Hero Ship of the story. She is the lead ship of the “Azrael-Improved” class of Battleship in the Coalition Navy. The Azrael has been a mainstay in the Coalition Navy for 50 years. The Azrael-Improved (or Azrael-i) for short, is an overhauled version of the template, incorporating hundreds of improvements made necessary by the Axpentl Border War.

Marathon was built by Imperial Arsenal – Space Division, a modern-day continuation of the shipbuilding company used by the Ottoman Empire. Construction took place at Barnard’s Star Station and took 272 days. The vessel is currently undergoing space trials at Alpha Hydri. When launched, the Commonwealth Parliament of Earth registered the Marathon under the British flag, since the United Kingdom provided the majority of the funding the construction required. The Russian Aircraft Corporation Mikoyan (also known as “MiG”) won the contract to provide the Marathon with her compliment of Starfighters.

The Marathon is a dedicated Command Ship. She carries all of the equipment needed to provide command, control, communications, computers, and intelligence (C4I) to Coalition fleets in the AO. Once she completes space trials and is accepted into service, the Marathon will replace her aging sistership Basilisk as the Flagship of Strike Force Cerberus.

The vessel carries five Starfighter squadrons, with each squadron consisting of eighteen MiG-95 Space Superiority Fighters. For self-defense, the Marathon is armed with four Coilgun kinetic batteries and four flak batteries. Marathon is protected by three layers of Ceramo-Metal Armor and three layers of Deflector shields. A fusion reactor provides electric power.

Marathon carries a highly experimental cloaking device, which is standard on all Azrael-i vessels. Under normal circumstances, cloaking a Battleship is considered to be impossible. The Coalition is the only faction known to have tried this. The experimental cloaking generator is fueled with Dark Matter, and while the field it produces is highly unstable, it does render the Marathon undetectable to most conventional sensors. This tactical advantage comes at the cost of substantially reduced sublight speed and shield effectiveness. Field tests performed by Coalition reconnaissance ships suggest the cloaking device is much more effective while operating inside a nebula.

The Marathon requires a crew of 3,500 to operate, plus an additional 290 support staff for the MiG-95 fighter squadrons.

Vacancies in the command staff are still being filled, although a promising young person may have been found for the role of Tactical Officer:



FINAL PART: Ino Esperanta

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Ino Esperanta will be the main protagonist of this story.

She is a 23-year-old Argentine woman born and raised in the city of Ushuaia. Both of Ino’s parents are intensely loyal members of a political movement called the “Esperantists” who seek to install the constructed language “Esperanto” as the official language of the Coalition.

The Esperanta family is stricken by a severe case of Golden Child Syndrome. Ino’s younger brother Venka is heavily favored by Ino’s parents and can do no wrong in their eyes. Ino is expected to sacrifice her own happiness and achievements for her brother’s benefit, she must also be the scapegoat whenever he is accused of wrongdoing.

As Ino grew older, she started to resent her family. The last straw was when she was ordered to let her brother hog the spotlight during her own High School graduation party. Ino applied to the University of Buenos Aires, (3000 kilometers away from home) and began to study for a degree in Investigative Journalism, hoping that she could find work that would take her very far away from Ushuaia.

When the University notified Ino that she was going to graduate, a duplicate notification was sent to her parents. Both Mr. and Mrs. Esperanta showed up in Buenos Aires with Venka at their side, demanding to speak with Ino about having her brother follow her into the world of journalism.

Desperate to evade her family, Ino visited a nearby Coalition recruiting center and applied for a job in the Coalition Navy, specifically asking for a post on a starship.

After taking the written and physical aptitude exams, Ino was offered a job in Coalition Military Intelligence, setting the events of this story into motion…



*Note: I desperately wanted to name this story Battle Angel. But I recently found out that title is taken. :mad:
 
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Thanks for the preview and congratulations!

So.... understandable you want to get back to your comfort zone but this preview means Blake/Macavity must survive in the current story. That doesn't tip your hand too much but it does tell us he survives in some form (I suppose).

Not sure if you will get back to any of the CK3 scenes in this work, but it was nice having you in the Middle Ages, at least for a little while.
 
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A story on a starship named Marathon, and it's supposedly NOT going to get mind-bending? I don't know if to feel disbelief or just assume I've gotten old and you're too young to know the reference you're making.

I'll be keeping an eye out for rogue AIs regardless.
 
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understandable you want to get back to your comfort zone but this preview means Blake/Macavity must survive in the current story. That doesn't tip your hand too much but it does tell us he survives in some form (I suppose).
In some form is the word choice that scares me.

A story on a starship named Marathon, and it's supposedly NOT going to get mind-bending? I don't know if to feel disbelief or just assume I've gotten old and you're too young to know the reference you're making.
I'll have to confess to being too young to get the reference. But this seems to be a regular occurrence whenever we writers get together in the virtual gatherings. :D
 
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I'll have to confess to being too young to get the reference. But this seems to be a regular occurrence whenever we writers get together in the virtual gatherings. :D

From the people that would later bring us Halo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marathon_Trilogy
There's a screenshot LP of it somewhere that I read once, and surely some Youtube ones. It gets weird by the second game, and very very weird through the third.
 
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There's also a starship called Marathon in this universe:

Screen Shot 2024-05-29 at 11.14.26 AM.png

 
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A very exciting preview! I'm glad to maybe catch one of your Stellaris stories from the beginning!
Marathon was built by Imperial Arsenal – Space Division, a modern-day continuation of the shipbuilding company used by the Ottoman Empire.
This part interests me the most. Either WWI didn't happen or the Central Powers won.
 
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Episode Sixteen: That’s our power. We can be more than our backstories.
Happy Friday Wednesday dear readers! This chapter is much longer than usual, and longtime readers might be able to guess why. Starting tomorrow Saturday I'll be taking a two-week Hiatus to go up north and do annual training with the National Guard. While I might be rolling around the forums leaving comments, there will be no new chapters of The Broken Gates from June 1 until June 15.

Also, I want to offer special thanks to @Chac1, @Idhrendur, and @jak7139 for their comments on the big Angel of War reveal. I'm glad to learn there is interest in the new story. :D

To make up for my absence, I've loaded this chapter with extra content, ballooning its length to 25 minutes! Also, I have some artwork to share.

Special thanks to Twitter user Aceus (@Aceussss) for creating this cool artwork of Aisling!

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Longtime readers may find the artstyle familiar, and that's no coincidence! Aceus (formerly known as ace_pade) was the creator of three artworks used in The Stormbreakers. Aceus was one of the first artists I connected with during my 2021 fanart/commission blitz and it was such fun to work with them again. Aceus is an animation student and freelance illustrator based in the Philippines. If you ever want to commission artwork, I'd recommend this guy. (Aceus on Artstation.com)





The Broken Gates
Episode Sixteen: That’s our power. We can be more than our backstories.


Marisol Reyes
Creator
International Airspace, Atlantic Ocean



Marisol continued to braid Aisling’s hair as she told her own story:

“So, I was born in Manila, the biggest city of the Philippines… that’s an island country far away from here.”

“An island country like Ireland?” Aisling asked.

“My country is made up of about seven thousand islands all under one flag.” Marisol replied with a chuckle.

“Your king must be very powerful.” Aisling sounded awed.

Marisol shook her head, smiling. Then she went on.

“My parents were very religious. They prayed to the Virgin Mary to bless them with a child, and they got lucky when Momma got pregnant with me. I was told the story afterward, but my first day on Earth was a hard one.”

“What do you mean?” Aisling asked.

“When I was born… something went wrong.” Marisol explained. “Momma never said if the problem was with her or with me, but the only thing we know for sure is that as soon as my life began… I died.”


“You died!?” Aisling repeated, aghast.

Marisol nodded.

“Yeah.” She said. “Momma said I didn’t cry when I was born… I never even got to take my first breath, I just started turning blue instead. So my parents began to pray. At the same time, one of the doctors started working on me. Momma said they spent about ninety seconds trying to make me breathe, and well…”

Marisol allowed herself to laugh.

“Something they did must have worked, because here I am talking to you. Momma said it was a miracle from God, that I was a miracle from God.”

“It is a miracle.” Aisling said. “A real one!”

Marisol used her favorite red hair tie to hold Aisling’s braid in place.

“I was the only one who had trouble.” Marisol said. “My sister Mariposa and little brother Gabriel didn’t give Momma any trouble. I guess they felt she’d gone through enough. She loves all of us, but sometimes I catch her thanking God for letting me stay.”

“And your father?” Aisling pressed.

“My father was a soldier in the Philippine Army. President Estrada declared an ‘all-out-war’ against the Islamist rebels in the south, so my father went off to fight. He was killed when I was still very young. My brother Gabriel was a baby. Mariposa and I were just old enough to understand he was never coming home.

“Momma suddenly had to care for three children by herself. She had a little bit of money coming in from family members who moved to America, but it wasn’t enough. She called around to her friends and she was able to get her old job back, at the place she worked before she had me… this big fancy hotel on Roxas Boulevard, right on the water’s edge. She was one of the managers. Even then, we just barely scraped by, living on the edge of the slums.”

Marisol paused as the plane hit some mild turbulence, then resumed:

“Then, when I was eleven years old, my sister and I were playing in a park when the Islamist rebels attacked. They blew up a bus and killed a lot of people closeby to where we were. I didn’t know what to do… but Mariposa kept looking up at me and asking… it was like she thought I would already know the right thing to do. I just took her by the hand and brought her home. I didn’t want Mariposa to see me panicking, so I had to just do something.

“When we got home, Momma praised me. She said I was my sister’s guardian angel, that God let me stay on Earth so I could care for my family. I suddenly felt so… responsible for everything and everyone. I knew I had to start bringing in money for the household.”

“What did you do?” Aisling asked.

“Well, I was twelve years old.” Marisol giggled. “There was very little I could do. I lived in Manila, the one place in the country where child labor laws are actually enforced! I got a weekend gig working as something like a maid. I’d go over to people’s houses and clean up their messes. Did that for a couple of years. At the same time, I found something I could do at school… but looking back on it… I don’t feel good about it.”

“Why?”

“Because it grosses me out when I think about it as an adult.” Marisol replied. “I heard a rumor at school that one of the girls was making money on the side by selling kisses. Find a secret spot between classes; kiss a boy for cash. I did it for a couple years. Kissed maybe a hundred boys and took about sixty thousand Pesos home. I thought I was a genius. I made up a whole stupid pricing scheme. Charged extra to kiss like we were dating, there was a groping fee, and if someone wanted me to be their girlfriend for a day, I cleaned out their wallet. I thought I was saving my family and having fun at the same time… but then… then I got sick.”

Marisol sighed.

“There was some illness going around the school. I must have kissed at least ten boys who were already sick, so I got super sick. Like, I was messed up for weeks. Had to stay in bed, couldn’t eat, could barely drink water. Of course, the whole time Momma was asking how I got this way… but things got bad when I lost my maid job. I was too sick to work, so all of the clients fired me. Then Momma wouldn’t stop asking me what I did to get so sick. So, I told her about the kissing business.”

Marisol felt goosebumps rising on her arms as she re-told this part of the story. It was a very unpleasant memory.

“I thought Momma was gonna kill me.” Marisol admitted. “That’s the only time she ever beat me… and she used her nicest umbrella for it, too. Still hurts when I think about it.”

Aisling turned around and hugged Marisol very tightly. She felt soft and warm, as though Marisol was cuddling a Saint Bernard.

“What happened after that?” Aisling asked.

“After I got better, Momma made me transfer schools, and I paid for it by getting a job at the same hotel as her. Mariposa came along too, since I was supposed to be setting a good example for her.”

“Did you?”

“Kind of. I mean, I tried.” Marisol answered. “Mariposa got arrested once for fighting with a hotel guest, and then Momma got arrested for beating up a drunk guy who mistook our apartment for the brothel. The police let her go and arrested the guy when they saw the bruises he left on my arm, but we still lost all of our savings in a couple of months. Things got a little better after I turned 18, though.

“One of the other hotel managers liked my ‘customer service voice’ and told me about one of his friends who worked for the airport. He got me a job interview because he owed us a favor. Asiana liked what they saw and hired me. Six weeks of training later, I got my passport and was on a plane to America.”

“So then how did you meet Blake?” Aisling asked.

“Well, not all of my time as a Flight Attendant is spent in the air. I do have a lot of downtime, sitting in the airports or hotels waiting for something or someone. I picked up a couple hobbies to pass the time. Started skateboarding around the courtyards and parks in the daytime. At night, I’d go online and read fanfiction about all of the cartoons and computer games I knew as a kid. For my 21st birthday, I bought myself a gaming laptop and started playing again.

“I stumbled onto Blake’s stories while I was looking for a sci-fi fanfic to read. Gobbled up The Stormbreakers in two days and then binge-read the rest of the series over a few weeks. Then, one day while I was reading Year of Hell, Blake posted a reminder about how he once gave permission for people to write fanfics about his characters.”

Aisling looked confused.

“Wait, hold on. Blake was letting people write their own stories using his characters?” She said.

“Yup.” Marisol replied. “I was all nervous and anxious, so I sent Blake a message asking permission, just to make sure it was okay. He said yes… so I went off and wrote my own story with his Creations.”

“What did you write?” Aisling asked.

“Well…” Marisol said, “I always liked that scene in The Stormbreakers where Blake and Chihiro decided to elope in the desert. I… I uh…”

Marisol blushed. Confessing to this was embarrassing. A voice spoke over her shoulder.

“She wrote an extended ending for the love scene.” Blake explained, causing Marisol to jump with surprise.

“How long were you there!?” Marisol gasped.

“Since the part where your sister got arrested.” Blake said. “We were getting curious.”

Marisol looked over the top her seat and noticed that all of the creations were now paying attention to her story, plus Herten and Bella and a few members of Cali’s team.

“Honestly, after everything that’s happened in the past few days, I never would have guessed that was your life story.” Varian admitted.

Marisol turned her attention back to Aisling.

“Well, it’s just like when you’re writing a story. Backgrounds don’t define people. A backstory is just the first block everything else is built on, it’s where you start out as. It’s not who you are forever. Look at yourselves. Kanti, you were a programmer building a Psionic computer system, and by the end of your story, you were the Galactic Custodian and one of the Cape Canaveral Rescuers.”

“I’m going to be Galactic Custodian!?” Kanti repeated, sounding pleased.

“Trig the girl-crazy high school student takes down the most dangerous starship in the Galaxy and wounds the Great Khan.” Marisol continued, “Sebakhira helps defeat Akira Robinson twice, even though she’s just a Psionic teacher. You all grew and developed in the face of a challenge, of adventure. That’s, like, kinda the whole point of stories.”

Emily ran her fingers through Aisling’s braided hair, admiring Marisol’s handiwork.

“And, Aisling… Emily… if Blake gives the two of you more pagetime, then I’m sure you’d grow into different people as well.”

Emily withdrew her hand and folded her arms, scrunching up her face as she thought.

“Could it be?” Emily mused. “That you and Blake have changed as well?”

Marisol looked at Blake, who shrugged.

“I don’t see why not.” Blake replied. “I mean, do I seem like the same guy who danced with you at the Winter Star Festival?”

Emily hesitated.

“Similar…” she said slowly… “but now that I really think about it… you’re also different.”

“Blake and Marisol are right.” Cali said. “I’m living proof of that. If you took me out of the real world and put me back into Year of Hell right now, none of my friends would recognize me. And maybe that’s part of the reason why Malum is doing all of this.”

Marisol snapped her fingers and pointed at Blake.

“Did we make any changes to Malum before he made his first appearance in Song of the Solitaire?” She asked.

“Not really.” Blake replied. “He’s pretty identical to what I wrote in my worldbuilding notes. His backstory is recited verbatim in one chapter in the second act.”

“That’s it.” Cali said. “Malum did not grow or change in his own story. He’s static. I wonder if we can use that against him somehow?”

“I bet we can.” Marisol concluded. “That’s our power. We can be more than our backstories. And the same is probably true for the other Creations who’ve sided with him. Maybe we can pull his allies away… over to our side. Then he’d be alone.”

Sebakhira clapped her paws in delight.

“She’s right! If we can get Malum alone, away from his allies, he will be most vulnerable. Have any of you read Blake’s other stories?”

“Skimmed a bit.” Trig admitted.

“I’ve only read my own.” Mina said.

“I’m a slow reader.” Varian confessed.

Sebakhira waved her paw impatiently.

“In nearly all of Blake’s stories, there is a common thread that appears during the climax.” She said. “The hero… or more frequently, the heroine does not stand alone against her foes. She is always backed up by friends and allies while the enemy stands in isolation.”

“You are not alone.” Blake recited. “When I was younger, I wanted to make those words the central theme of the Stormbreaker Universe. Didn’t work out that way, but it’s nice that someone remembered.”

“You are not alone.” Marisol repeated. “That’s gotta be how we beat Malum.”




Malum Ralpakin
Creation
200 meters beneath Rattia City, Alaria



The starship Blind Fury was wrecked. It would no longer be able to serve as Malum’s hideout. Already, Alari Gendarmes were digging on the surface, attempting to investigate the cause of a disturbance that rattled the city.

For several hours, Malum’s entourage waited outside of the Gate Chamber. He was locked in the room alone with the Broken Gate. The ring-shaped structure hummed rhythmically as Malum performed a ritual that blended Psionics and cybernetic technology.

One by one, Malum’s operatives passed through the Gate, departing the real world and rejoining their master.

Kiri Ranginui, Whetu Kealoha, Uisce, Tenna Annora, Cassandra Espinosa, Dak J’Bassim and his sister Moka all sat cross-legged on the floor, waiting for Malum’s next move.

At his telepathic direction, Cassandra ordered her nanites to interact with the Gate, making fine adjustments to the Vortex Portal contained within.

Malum stood in front of the gate, two objects clenched in his hands. In his right hand, he held the stolen copy of My Father’s War. In his left, Malum carried the Vultaum Reality Perforator, a spherical object that transcended the Fourth Wall, making all of these events possible.

Malum held the Reality Perforator in front of him, keeping it raised in the center of the ring-shaped threshold. With his free hand, Malum thumbed through the book.

No one dared ask about Akira. They all seemed to know, and they all loved Malum even more for his show of strength in the face of betrayal.

“It is something I overlooked.” Malum said aloud. “Something I should have seen before. The author slowly changed and remade the art of Psionics over the course of an eleven-book series. The powers I wield are far weaker than the power used by characters in The Stormbreakers and Faith in Chaos. Yet I am not without my great knowledge… my understanding of the Gift. I will defeat the author, and liberate the multiverse from his influence. It is my destiny.”

“Master, let us go through and finish building the Rotholmen Gate.” Cassandra offered. “We can capture both the author and his editor as they arrive at Stockholm. We’ll have the worldbuilding capabilities of Paradox as well.”

Malum turned his head and replied to her:

“My dear, it will be you and my most trusted allies who use the new Gate to reach Stockholm. Just as it was in my own story, it seems the Gates are reserved only for my followers and allies. I must reach Stockholm another way. Bring forth the prisoner!”

The Gate Chamber door slammed open and three people entered. Two of them were Nagyari soldiers, blue-skinned alien creatures who belonged to the same species as Malum. Between them, they dragged a woman who was gagged and shackled. She was a very tall and skinny human with dirty blonde hair. The only person to recognize her was Tenna, as she was the one to capture her.

It was Erin Bowie, waitress at the bAAR and the very first Creation to cross over into the real world. A look of dark understanding appeared in Erin’s face as she started to scream wordlessly through her gag. Malum gripped the Reality Perforator so tightly that his fingers sank through the outer membrane.

“When Psionics fails, I shall use the author’s narration against him.” Malum said. “My faithful! When I pass through the Gate, you will proceed to Stockholm and finish construction of the Rotholmen Gate as quickly as possible. I shall join you there.”

Then, Malum grabbed Erin by the arm. She was panicking, straining against her bonds. Malum stepped backwards toward the Broken Gate, held up the copy of My Father’s War and began to read aloud:

“Erin Bowie (1992-2027) was employed as a part-time worker at a small establishment in downtown Detroit. Survived the Conquest of Earth and lived under ADVENT rule for twelve years. In 2027, Erin complained to her friends of symptoms consistent with a viral infection; she visited the Detroit Gene Therapy Clinic. Erin never returned. During the 2036 Tribunals, the Global Truth and Reconciliation Commission was able to confirm that Erin was murdered by ADVENT during this ill-fated visit.”


Malum stepped backwards and pulled Erin through the Broken Gate with him. For one short moment, he could see the exit portals of the other five Broken Gates in the network:

Malum’s inner sanctum in the Necropolis, a long dead Tomb World. It still lay in ruins after Malum’s battle with Trig.

The Dreamworld, the very same spiritual realm his son would frequently visit. The Psionic lifeforms who posed as Gods did not detect Malum as he flitted through their space.

The Shroud, an alternate plane of reality built entirely out of Psionic energy. A Lovecraftian nightmare monster briefly acknowledged Malum’s presence, but he was gone before the Eater of Worlds could pounce.

Kinsale Forest in the world of Blake’s newest book: Last Days of the Emerald Isle. Malum could even see the Olinbar soldiers responsible for hijacking it.

And finally, the Island of Rotholmen, on the outskirts of Stockholm in the real world.

Malum bypassed all of these locations, willing himself to follow Erin Bowie through the same narrative loophole that allowed her to appear in the real world.

The noise, the rush, the light, all died away. There was only the sound of cars driving across wet pavement. The flicker of streetlamps.

Malum Ralpakin and Erin Bowie were standing on a busy Detroit avenue. Tucked away between art deco facades of bigger and better things was a quaint, three-story brick building. The second and third floors are covered in windows, each a little portrait into the lives of the folks living behind them. The first floor, though, has only a single oaken door behind a wrought-iron security grate.

On either side of it hung a myriad of flags. A platypus skeleton on navy blue, an assortment of pride flags, and of course the proud flag of the city itself: flags on flags, watched over by two women: one weeping at what was lost, the other comforting her with what was to come. From the ashes we rise again, she seems to say. A humble sign above the door proclaimed:


Whiskey in the jAAR

In the dim light of early morning, no one saw exactly where the primal shout of triumph came from, but they all heard it.

Malum rounded on Erin and snapped his fingers. At once, the shackles around her wrists and ankles crumbled into dust. Her gag transmuted into a liquid that ran down her front.

“You…” Malum’s voice shook as he reached out toward her. Erin panicked!

“Please!” She cried out, cowering and begging for her life, hands over her head. “Please don’t hurt me. I won’t tell anyone! I’ll do whatever you want!”

Malum seized Erin, lifted her until her eyes were on the same level as his (and her feet were well off the ground) and then declared:

“You have given me everything that I want! I’ve never loved another woman as I loved you!”

And Malum forced Erin to kiss him. She struggled for a moment than then allowed herself to go limp, letting the Great Khan continue until he was satisfied and put her down again. Erin’s eyes darted from the bAAR to Malum and back again. He waved one hand, imparting the smallest fraction of his own Psionic power onto Erin.

“If you truly love me, you won’t tell anyone how I came to be here.”

Stars appeared in Erin’s eyes as she was bewitched.

“Never.” She whispered, as though confiding a secret to a lover.

“Go. Your coworkers have been worried.” Malum said. “Tell them you were hidden and safe. When the time comes, I will call you, and you will come to me.”

“Yes, I will!” Erin said. “I’ll do anything for you!”

She tore her gaze away from Malum with the most extreme reluctance, ran across the street, through the wrought-iron gate, and opened the heavy oak door. She looked back one last time before the door closed.

With a rushing sound like a waterfall, a column of purple and silver light shot down from the sky an enveloped Malum Ralpakin. The Great Khan extended his arms as though to embrace it. He raised one arm, holding the Reality Perforator above his head. Then he completed the Psionic Teleportation and vanished completely.

As the sun rose on the city of Detroit, there was only silence.




 
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I like the idea of Angel of War. I'm particularly interested in the long-term influence of the Manifesti... and the idea of Esperanto as a language that actually succeeds in its goals.

I liked Marisol's backstory.

I like the idea of using Malum's status as a static character against him, but how long will that work? He's facing adversity from characters that are dynamic now, and villains don't need to be static (case in point: Paradox).

I hope someone notices the fact that Erin's compromised and gets her out of the bAAR. I don't like the idea of Malum having spies there.
 
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On a housekeeping note, the next/previous chapter links need tweaking as they are the same as chapter 15's.

Erin definitely needs to see how Naomi dealt with Hortensus...

It was a nice chapter, and handled the issues well.
 
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I like the idea of Angel of War. I'm particularly interested in the long-term influence of the Manifesti... and the idea of Esperanto as a language that actually succeeds in its goals.
I'm not sure yet, but the Manifesti showing up in a second game that I wanted to turn into a Stellaris story was rather vexing. I might have to recycle the "Manifesti Revolutionary Government" concept from Grand Theft Stellaris.

The Esperanto angle was one I was quite happy to stumble upon. I wanted Ino's family to be tied up in a political movement because the Earth Commonwealth uses the Parliamentary System civic, which means political factions have massive amounts of importance. I also wanted the political movement in question to be easy for the reader to follow along with and understand. Thankfully, Esperantism is a very real thing with a pretty straightforward goal. Adapting them for this story should be easy.


I like the idea of using Malum's status as a static character against him, but how long will that work? He's facing adversity from characters that are dynamic now, and villains don't need to be static (case in point: Paradox).
Hopefully, it works long enough for Malum to be neutralized as a threat. That doesn't necessarily mean he needs to be killed.


I hope someone notices the fact that Erin's compromised and gets her out of the bAAR. I don't like the idea of Malum having spies there.
Who said anything about being a spy? Looks to me like Erin has been prepositioned as part of a gambit. ;)


On a housekeeping note, the next/previous chapter links need tweaking as they are the same as chapter 15's.
Found and fixed!


Erin definitely needs to see how Naomi dealt with Hortensus...
Looks like I'll be re-reading Life 2.0 during the convoy this weekend.
 
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