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Seems like you drawn a short straw- but not the shortest. Keep in mind that the Umayyad are not an empire yet, so you could get comfortable in this. They become yellow lots of times. Also, you got a good chance for a heresy to spread or just for playing either a Norse or a Jew.

Formed the HRE (decided to stay catholic) and I've conquered most of western Europe now. :) Currently in the process of kicking the Umayyads out of Aquitaine and Iberia. I wasn't super worried about the fate of Europe in the long term, more just visually repulsed by all the weird border gore.

I concur with the honourable gentleman above.
Your Byzantines and Abbasids are not eating the entire of the east. This is actually a relatively benevolent Charlemange from my experiance.
Those Umayads are likely to get crusaded after 900AD.

Yeah you're right, 20 years later and everything's turned out pretty well. Didn't even need a crusade, the entire muslim world is shattering apart because islam's moral authority has dipped below 20. (I can sympathize)
 
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So less than an hour into the game and RIP Catholicism. The only reason I noticed this is because one of my neighbors had also converted to fraticelli and I had zoomed out to check the religious map. I'm not sure what happened but at some point all of western Europe was ruled by Middle Francia and I guess the king converted and all his vassals also converted. Now I'm debating whether to stay catholic or turn to another heresy...
 
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So less than an hour into the game and RIP Catholicism. The only reason I noticed this is because one of my neighbors had also converted to fraticelli and I had zoomed out to check the religious map. I'm not sure what happened but at some point all of western Europe was ruled by Middle Francia and I guess the king converted and all his vassals also converted. Now I'm debating whether to stay catholic or turn to another heresy...

That's unfortunately pretty common if a Karling flips religion in 769. If it was me, I'd go Fraticelli because it's a clone of Catholicism- so you're losing nothing but gain a holy war cb on the remaining Catholics. All you have to do is relieve the Pope of Rome and you'll have a Pope and Crusades.
 
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I allowed it. He won, and enjoyed monthly prestige and another great story to tell to his lovers. And then after that business as usual, private se..rmon in his chambers.
The miracle of "Hail Mary Swing and Pray" I suppose.

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That's my daughter in law from my designated heir, she was bore childless with my son for 7 years, and with "Patriach Intervention", she start producing.

A Simple solution to this problem would be to kill off the Patriarch.. I am pretty sure most of the realm hates him and would love to see him dead. Not sure if you can even banish him from the realm or not.. but do something to stop this mad guy from sleeping with every woman in the realm.

Here is a famous quote used quite often " Kill it with Fire ! "
 
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Somehow, she managed to talk her way into becoming the Grandmaster of the Teutonic Order... Any thoughts on how this came to be?


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I was going to say she used her charms to get to the position of grand master.. But she is Lesbian and I doubt the Grand master Had a wife. So this is very strange indeed.. one has to guess she somehow acquired the title and it was passed to her some how in some strange way.
 
I wonder what they saw in a blind man.. or did he force them to be his lovers. I am going with the second one because that one makes the most sense. But hey weird things happen.. Although i believe he said if they did not become his lover..They would be dammed in hell.. besides being a man everyone hated.. What is his story anyway ?

"So, Father, you are totally blind ?"
"Yes my child, I can't see a thing. Come closer, let me touch you."
"Is this appropriate father ?"
"All part of God's plan . . ."


No sir, I believe Blinded trait is only -10 sex appeal, but on the other hand Aspiring Seducer and Court Tomcat modifier gave him the leverage he needed to seduce almost every women in court, so there is the third option, He is just charming :) Although I don't know how he become Zealous, considering he practically ignored half of "Ten Commandment" contents.

As for his story, to be honest I dont really know his story as I just recently conquered Greece in Invasion, but after checking the console, apparently he was blinded by previous Basileus for.. well... obvious reason. His lovers as for now is 5 in total, including 3 random courtiers.

But well as stated, being blinded doesn't means its all over for him tho, he even asked my permission for...

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Erratic indeed mate.

Blind or just perpetually blind drunk ?


I was going to say she used her charms to get to the position of grand master.. But she is Lesbian and I doubt the Grand master Had a wife. So this is very strange indeed.. one has to guess she somehow acquired the title and it was passed to her some how in some strange way.

Sold to the Order at age 12 she kept her sex hidden until she was finally made Grandmaster by popular acclaim. When she finally came clean the rest of the brotherhood just shrugged and said "Who cares, she knows how to swing a sword and that's good enough for me"
 
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Sold to the Order at age 12 she kept her sex hidden until she was finally made Grandmaster by popular acclaim. When she finally came clean the rest of the brotherhood just shrugged and said "Who cares, she knows how to swing a sword and that's good enough for me"


And she's the queen of Castille in addition to being the niece of the Emperor. There's got to be brownie points in there somewhere.
 
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Somehow I have inherited a rebel title. At first I thought it was pretty amusing, but now I have noticed it is problematic. I have recently won a Great Holy War and I can't grant any titles because I have a "temporary title" that I can't manually destroy. I'm hoping someone will have an idea on how I can get rid of it so my vassals don't hate my guts until I die.


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Major blobbing


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Empire of Carpathia? Is it Hungarian? Avar? Bolgar? Christian? Muslim? Pagan?

It's an ironman game at the Old Gods start as the Arpad Dynasty. I've stayed Hungarian and I have managed to reform Tengrism. My goal was to use the Tengri invasion CB to conquer the world and, considering that the realm screenshot was taken in 1112, I'm on track to meet that goal. However, this troublesome rebel title that I have somehow inherited will make things complicated. Right now I think the only way to rid myself of the title is to make it gravelkind/elective and fend off angry vassals while I wait for my current ruler to die.
 
Ironman... I doubt you'll be able to get rid of that title normally.
 
Are you at war because of the revolt title? Maybe you can surrender?

No, I was in the middle of a Great Holy War when I took the screenshot. The Tengri crusade (if you will) is now over and the empire is at peace, but I am unable to grant titles or to surrender to the King of Norway, who is also my vassal.