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Probably something like this:
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Admittedly, in nearly 2K hours of CK2 gameplay, I have never started a game as a Mongol. In fact, this screenshot is not from a Mongol game start either. However, in all my years of CK2 gameplay, I don't recall seeing a Mongol with this helmet on, and with this spectacularly groomed beard. This is almost like you'd expect Jack Black to look in his younger days, if he went Mongol instead of Nacho Libre.
So I present to you - Igor the Groomed Mongol. Is that irony?
btw, I'm now inspired to start a game as a Mongol, just to always have my main character "Groom an heir" and make an entire army of groomed Mongols.
So I present to you - Igor the Groomed Mongol. Is that irony?
btw, I'm now inspired to start a game as a Mongol, just to always have my main character "Groom an heir" and make an entire army of groomed Mongols.
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Some Revisionist history in the making - you see, back in 786 AD, there was already a search for WMDs in Iraq. Hopefully my Spymaster finds some evidence of Yellowcake, and I'm not talking about dessert.
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And she's temperate, so she rations her impaling sessions to only once every 2 weeks, and she's very trusting that you'll still be in the dungeon the next time she visits the prisoners.
With those traits, perhaps she allows the use of a safe word?
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"The Lone Pikeman" - I activated a vassal's Levy and was provided a Lone Pikeman. There's something oddly refreshing about seeing a single Bodpa Buddhist Pikeman (just try and say "Bodpa Buddhist Pikeman" 3 times fast). So I think I will look at this guy like the Bodpa's version of Forrest Gump, and will run him all the way to the Western Protectorate (which is on the Eastern edge of the map, which is ironic in itself) -- then I will run him all the way to the Brittany Coast in Europe, and when he gets there, I will run him back again to the Western Protectorate. He has a land-based Shrimp farm and splits the profits with a war-buddy's family. I'm searching for a Noble who is missing both legs to try and ally with.
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As if The Lone Pikeman was not satisfied with my accolades in the prior post -- he went and actually did a Forrest Gump maneuver beyond my expectations. With his sprinting skills and bravery to "Seize the Day" - he single-handedly arrived before any other army on-site to continue a siege, while my main army had to deal with an intruding (and competing) army to my south.
Showing leadership prowess, The Lone Pikeman controls the entire Siege by himself (note my yellow-and-white County colors in control of the ongoing siege), and then look at the pop-up details of the Army to see that - an allied army of 2,739 men were willing to submit themselves and attach their entire army under the command of The Lone Pikeman who was faster than all others to arrive and resume the siege.
Showing leadership prowess, The Lone Pikeman controls the entire Siege by himself (note my yellow-and-white County colors in control of the ongoing siege), and then look at the pop-up details of the Army to see that - an allied army of 2,739 men were willing to submit themselves and attach their entire army under the command of The Lone Pikeman who was faster than all others to arrive and resume the siege.
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Blind Wife scared of the Dark.
How was I supposed to know my Blind Wife would be upset about my request that she rest in a Dark Room? And how was she supposed to know it even was a Dark Room in the first place? Maybe it was the Pet Rat - an early instance of AI Technology where Neuralink in both her brain and the Rat's Brain can network so she sees what the Rat sees.
How was I supposed to know my Blind Wife would be upset about my request that she rest in a Dark Room? And how was she supposed to know it even was a Dark Room in the first place? Maybe it was the Pet Rat - an early instance of AI Technology where Neuralink in both her brain and the Rat's Brain can network so she sees what the Rat sees.
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Reminds of me when I was playing WTSMS and my ruler mentioned "seeing" her realm after being blinded.
*Hitler rants opening
- Mein Fuhrer, the Mongols ...
- The Mongols won't be here for another four hundred and fifty years.
(Somehow, Stalin still manages to be tied into the conversation)
BONUS
- Mein Caliph, Hamdallah ...
- Hamdallah Mustawfi won't be born for another five hundred years.
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I think I get the "Pride" Trait by posting this here, but let's face it - there's a lot of CK2 gamers who wish they could Mount the Skull of the Chinese Protector General of the Western Protectorate - on their Trophy Wall as an Artifact.
Many hours/games playing CK2, first time to get the Skull from the Chinese Protector General. And what makes this even sweeter - the Chinese had a Golden Age ongoing and I have an offensive battle raging against - everyone on the map (it's a Nomadic Horde play-through as the Turkish Yabguid Khaganate).
As a secondary plug for this screenshot - I was humored by the Book that this noble wrote also - "A Story About My Aunt" - also a first-ever in a CK2 game, hadn't done the Write-A-Book task and ended up with that one before. If you're curious about its buffs, it's Level 3 Artifact, +5 Dynasty opinion, +15 Female Dynasty member opinion.
Many hours/games playing CK2, first time to get the Skull from the Chinese Protector General. And what makes this even sweeter - the Chinese had a Golden Age ongoing and I have an offensive battle raging against - everyone on the map (it's a Nomadic Horde play-through as the Turkish Yabguid Khaganate).
As a secondary plug for this screenshot - I was humored by the Book that this noble wrote also - "A Story About My Aunt" - also a first-ever in a CK2 game, hadn't done the Write-A-Book task and ended up with that one before. If you're curious about its buffs, it's Level 3 Artifact, +5 Dynasty opinion, +15 Female Dynasty member opinion.
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A continuation from that last screenshot, since I did tease that I had an ongoing war against the entire Map, here's the screenshot just before I made peace, and this wasn't one of those quick-and-easy wars for a single county when the whole map defends but you simply have to capture the county and then quickly make peace, this was a Nomadic duchy with only 1 building among 5 counties. So without buildings on them to siege, and since I'm Nomadic and cannot build Forts, I had to split out armies and hold, and it was like playing musical chairs to "sit down" at a county when the music stops. I have a separate ongoing thread here at the CK2 forum about How-To generate a more dominant Nomadic Horde play-through, which this is an ongoing wipe of the map with a Turkish Horde, as I'm about to take down Constantinople soon for the Achievement (I might just fight the entire map plus the Byzantine Empire for that one). You can see my gold is plentiful, so I also hired a few Mercenary bands to help, and you probably see a Tibetan army of 2508 men South of the Duchy of Bolghar that I'm holding, so armies came from all across the map, the furthest reaches of the map, to try and prevent my Horde from holding the line. Fun Stuff, I had to sometimes move multiple armies to combine forces to defend over and over, wave after wave. Chinese Protectorate came in big while in a Golden Age, and Lombardy and many European powers came in as well. I probably ended dozens of kingdoms as the Tengri Clan Khaganate could just sacrifice leader after leader that was captured. I'm going to shift Westward along the North Sea and then English Channel to get that other rare achievement for a Horde getting a Kingdom/Empire tributary in the British Isles (after I take Constantinople).
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Blue Monday.
So there I am, casually starting a CK2 game as a lowly Count in Lombardy, partly because I intend to divorce a Lombard Princess to get the achievement, and play the game and still be a Lombard in 1300 and beyond, for that other Lombard achievement. There should be a 3rd achievement for marrying a Lombard Princess after 1300, and staying married for 50 years. I should know - I'm married to a Lombard in real life (although she's not exactly a Princess, more like a Shieldmaiden with Martial of 25 and Intrigue of 35).
Ok so I'm in the typical white-tiled Lombardy, right? That's all I expect. White-tiled Lombardy, until 1300. And then something happens, and you may not believe in Fate or that life truly has no coincidences, but still, here goes - I'm listening (and somewhat watching) Music Television (MTV) Classic channel, where I have discovered they actually play Music Videos again - after all these years, I'm finally seeing and hearing Music again on MTV instead of some wacked out social experimental show, and since I'm really enjoying the music, the channel puts on:
- New Order, Blue Monday ('88 version).
And then it happens, my screen turns blue, totally blue, as I'm zoomed in on Lombardy's Northern counties only, and then it goes insta-blue, because the internal revolt that had been going for an untold number of game years, apparently resulted in West Francia's King usurping all of Lombardy. In all my CK2 games, I've never seen this before, where West Francia stays intact from game start, and grows to subsume Lombardy. Bear in mind, Lombardy was kicking it - I was always Joining War to help my Lombardy King, and we together were dominating (I'd taken over 3x Counties along the way and just shy of being Duke except I'm stuck in Milano just North of the King who also held the Duchy title). We'd taken Barcelona Duchy, actually taking it to the Muslims in early game, instead of the other way around, which is why West Francia on this screenshot is creeping into Spain. Oh, just before this screenshot, the King of Lombardy died, and his sister took over, who is the Duchess mentioned in the pop-up message in top-right.
But I still wonder - was it MTV spinning "Blue Monday" that did this to me? And, as reminder, today is Monday.
Enjoy the Blue...of the map. And enjoy your Monday, wherever you are.
P.S. If you really want a more "Interesting" song about the color blue, along with quite a backstory about the performing artist who sings the song, check out "Love is Blue (L'amour Est Bleu)" by Claudine Longet. Oh, speaking of difficult marriages - don't marry Claudine. Spider didn't earn the "Achievement" but maybe Andy Williams did, and the Rolling Stones wrote a song about her (titled "Claudine" of course). If you don't know what I'm talking about - you need to get to know Claudine Longet. She was actually good in the Peter Sellers movie "The Party" - a movie that was essentially banned from broadcast TV.
Bonus Blues material:
So there I am, casually starting a CK2 game as a lowly Count in Lombardy, partly because I intend to divorce a Lombard Princess to get the achievement, and play the game and still be a Lombard in 1300 and beyond, for that other Lombard achievement. There should be a 3rd achievement for marrying a Lombard Princess after 1300, and staying married for 50 years. I should know - I'm married to a Lombard in real life (although she's not exactly a Princess, more like a Shieldmaiden with Martial of 25 and Intrigue of 35).
Ok so I'm in the typical white-tiled Lombardy, right? That's all I expect. White-tiled Lombardy, until 1300. And then something happens, and you may not believe in Fate or that life truly has no coincidences, but still, here goes - I'm listening (and somewhat watching) Music Television (MTV) Classic channel, where I have discovered they actually play Music Videos again - after all these years, I'm finally seeing and hearing Music again on MTV instead of some wacked out social experimental show, and since I'm really enjoying the music, the channel puts on:
- New Order, Blue Monday ('88 version).
And then it happens, my screen turns blue, totally blue, as I'm zoomed in on Lombardy's Northern counties only, and then it goes insta-blue, because the internal revolt that had been going for an untold number of game years, apparently resulted in West Francia's King usurping all of Lombardy. In all my CK2 games, I've never seen this before, where West Francia stays intact from game start, and grows to subsume Lombardy. Bear in mind, Lombardy was kicking it - I was always Joining War to help my Lombardy King, and we together were dominating (I'd taken over 3x Counties along the way and just shy of being Duke except I'm stuck in Milano just North of the King who also held the Duchy title). We'd taken Barcelona Duchy, actually taking it to the Muslims in early game, instead of the other way around, which is why West Francia on this screenshot is creeping into Spain. Oh, just before this screenshot, the King of Lombardy died, and his sister took over, who is the Duchess mentioned in the pop-up message in top-right.
But I still wonder - was it MTV spinning "Blue Monday" that did this to me? And, as reminder, today is Monday.
Enjoy the Blue...of the map. And enjoy your Monday, wherever you are.
P.S. If you really want a more "Interesting" song about the color blue, along with quite a backstory about the performing artist who sings the song, check out "Love is Blue (L'amour Est Bleu)" by Claudine Longet. Oh, speaking of difficult marriages - don't marry Claudine. Spider didn't earn the "Achievement" but maybe Andy Williams did, and the Rolling Stones wrote a song about her (titled "Claudine" of course). If you don't know what I'm talking about - you need to get to know Claudine Longet. She was actually good in the Peter Sellers movie "The Party" - a movie that was essentially banned from broadcast TV.
Bonus Blues material:
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