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Exterous was sitting in his office, listening to reports from the front. He yawned.
Jopi: "Are we boring you sir with reports of advances made possible by the sacrifices of your soldiers sir?"
"Oh, no! It's just that....it seems like its all been done before."
"I can assure you sir, we have not fought Turkey before."
"Uh-huh......."
Easily Confused was late to the meeting as usual. He was running down the hallway. All of a sudden the hallway went black
(footsteps running, heavy breathing)
"WHERE AM I??!!"
A beacon of light flashed in his direction. "Walk towards the light my son."
Easily walked towards the light. "Are you God?"
"Yes, I am God."
"Oh, dear Lord, I am your servent. Have I been a good person?"
"Moslty."
"What can I do to make up for it?"
"You must repent everyday, then convert religions and repent some more. Then you must sleep with 365 women, one each day with the final one being covered in honey-"
(Voice behind him) "There all set now"
The lights came back on
Easily: "Wha? Who are you?
The perosn who had spoken to him: "I'm an electrician. There was a power failure in this hallway."
"Then you're not God? I'm so confused."
"I know, its your name."
"No, no, i'm really confused."
"No, you're Easily Confused."
Easily smiled to himself. He loved this.
Anibal walked in "No, while his name is 'Easily Confused' he is still confused, meaning he does not understand what is going on."
Electricain: "Oh."
Easily Confused: "Stupid Anibal, always ruining my fun" Eaisly pouts on his way to the meeting.
Anibal:
Easily walked into the meeting.
"Easily! Why are you always late?"
"Sorry Exterous"
"Bad Easily. No new Battleships! Or destroyers!"
"But....."
"You only get new cruisers!"
Easily's lower lip quivered "Fine, fine and some transports too."
*sigh "Ok sir."
"Don't worry Easily, our DDs don't have enough range to make them worth building and BBs take too long, so you wouldn't have gotten many anyway."
"Oh." Even so, Easily didn't think it was going to be a good day......
Jopi: "Are we boring you sir with reports of advances made possible by the sacrifices of your soldiers sir?"
"Oh, no! It's just that....it seems like its all been done before."
"I can assure you sir, we have not fought Turkey before."
"Uh-huh......."
Easily Confused was late to the meeting as usual. He was running down the hallway. All of a sudden the hallway went black
(footsteps running, heavy breathing)
"WHERE AM I??!!"
A beacon of light flashed in his direction. "Walk towards the light my son."
Easily walked towards the light. "Are you God?"
"Yes, I am God."
"Oh, dear Lord, I am your servent. Have I been a good person?"
"Moslty."
"What can I do to make up for it?"
"You must repent everyday, then convert religions and repent some more. Then you must sleep with 365 women, one each day with the final one being covered in honey-"
(Voice behind him) "There all set now"
The lights came back on
Easily: "Wha? Who are you?
The perosn who had spoken to him: "I'm an electrician. There was a power failure in this hallway."
"Then you're not God? I'm so confused."
"I know, its your name."
"No, no, i'm really confused."
"No, you're Easily Confused."
Easily smiled to himself. He loved this.
Anibal walked in "No, while his name is 'Easily Confused' he is still confused, meaning he does not understand what is going on."
Electricain: "Oh."
Easily Confused: "Stupid Anibal, always ruining my fun" Eaisly pouts on his way to the meeting.
Anibal:
Easily walked into the meeting.
"Easily! Why are you always late?"
"Sorry Exterous"
"Bad Easily. No new Battleships! Or destroyers!"
"But....."
"You only get new cruisers!"
Easily's lower lip quivered "Fine, fine and some transports too."
*sigh "Ok sir."
"Don't worry Easily, our DDs don't have enough range to make them worth building and BBs take too long, so you wouldn't have gotten many anyway."
"Oh." Even so, Easily didn't think it was going to be a good day......
Perkele was again sitting in his dark chamber. One of his scientists came in:
"I have heard that the turkeys have some nasty technology...but im a little confused as I thought they were just stupid birds. How on earth can birds develope technology like that? They don't even have hands. And if they are such an intelligent animals, why do they let us eat them...perhaps they are aliens and this is some sort of evil trick. Or perhaps they are in alliance with the british, or germans...you never know of either of them. They are evil I say, evil." Perkele said.
The scientist looked him in amaze.
"But anyways, how are the 'semi modern peanut vendors' coming?"
"Almost finished. With this new breaking technology we can defeat our enemies easily. Once we are finished with this we can start developing the 'turbojet flying peanut vendors'"
"Oh and remeber to tell mr. Exterous that he needs to annex another country so that we can start farming peanuts, because for some reason the markets are empty of them."
heh, at least I learned one new word(vendor), thanks to this AAR
"I have heard that the turkeys have some nasty technology...but im a little confused as I thought they were just stupid birds. How on earth can birds develope technology like that? They don't even have hands. And if they are such an intelligent animals, why do they let us eat them...perhaps they are aliens and this is some sort of evil trick. Or perhaps they are in alliance with the british, or germans...you never know of either of them. They are evil I say, evil." Perkele said.
The scientist looked him in amaze.
"But anyways, how are the 'semi modern peanut vendors' coming?"
"Almost finished. With this new breaking technology we can defeat our enemies easily. Once we are finished with this we can start developing the 'turbojet flying peanut vendors'"
"Oh and remeber to tell mr. Exterous that he needs to annex another country so that we can start farming peanuts, because for some reason the markets are empty of them."
heh, at least I learned one new word(vendor), thanks to this AAR
Exterous looked over the maps:
Jopi: "Funny i don't remember those dates being correct."
"Er...um, well it gets complicated." Exterous said To you readers as an aside "I took pictures before the game crashes but not after"
Black_Rattler ran by the door "I'm Dead!" he shouted in. Mr G 24 chased after him with a plastic knife. "You can't be dead yet, i need to stab you first!"
Perkele chased after him "Wait! We haven't researched plastics yet! You can't possibly have a plastic knife!"
Exterous and Jopi watched the unusuall chase. They got bored and Exterous said: "Annex Turkey."
"Sir." And Turkey was annexed.
"Sir, it just occured to me that villiagephotos has stopped linking to their page for photos!"
"My GOD! What should we do?!"
"Well, i know you had wanted to continue with your skit, but we need to find a new spot to host our strategic maps."
"Well, I know of a few places, but they have a couple of days before you can use it."
"Sir, these are time of war! If we can find anotehr way, so be it, but if not, we must all make sacrifices."
"Those dangable Albainians!" Exterous shook his fist at them "I shall shake my fist like my fist has never been shaken before, at you!"
Jopi: "Funny i don't remember those dates being correct."
"Er...um, well it gets complicated." Exterous said To you readers as an aside "I took pictures before the game crashes but not after"
Black_Rattler ran by the door "I'm Dead!" he shouted in. Mr G 24 chased after him with a plastic knife. "You can't be dead yet, i need to stab you first!"
Perkele chased after him "Wait! We haven't researched plastics yet! You can't possibly have a plastic knife!"
Exterous and Jopi watched the unusuall chase. They got bored and Exterous said: "Annex Turkey."
"Sir." And Turkey was annexed.
"Sir, it just occured to me that villiagephotos has stopped linking to their page for photos!"
"My GOD! What should we do?!"
"Well, i know you had wanted to continue with your skit, but we need to find a new spot to host our strategic maps."
"Well, I know of a few places, but they have a couple of days before you can use it."
"Sir, these are time of war! If we can find anotehr way, so be it, but if not, we must all make sacrifices."
"Those dangable Albainians!" Exterous shook his fist at them "I shall shake my fist like my fist has never been shaken before, at you!"
Yesterday in Rome:
Exterous was typing away happily on his laptop when all of a sudden
"PAGE COULD NOT BE FOUND??!!" he retyped the address, waited and got the same response
"No, no no no no no" he kept trying "Ahahaha! WAH! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Two hours alter Mr Peanuts found Exterous sniveling in the corner, shaking with his tumb in his mouth. He was unable to get Exterous out of this funk.
The Next Day:
Exterous was sitting at his desk happily typing away on his laptop.
Mr Peanuts poked his head in the door. "Everything alright in here sir?"
Exterous looked up "Yes. Why do you ask?"
"No reason." and he left
Exterous shrugged. Aside from that bad dream he had, everything was fine.
Outside Milan:
Anibal: "Im just walking around like a random civilan. Yep, nothing interesting about me, just a random civilian."
Random Civilian: "How are you sir?" as he walked by
"Fine, just a random civilian doing random civilain stuff."
Random Civilian stopped walking "You're not a random civilian."
"Sure i am."
"No you're not."
Anibal took out a name tag and wrote 'Random Civilian' on it. "Am too."
"No, you can't be."
"Why not?" Anibal demanded.
"Well, if you look at the post, each time you speak, the name Anibal is associated with it, not the name Random Civilian."
"Welll.....but...." Anibal looked around "LOOK OVER THERE!!!" he pointed behind Random Civilain.
Random Civilain turned to look. While he did so, Anibal ran off........
Infantry Training Center in Genoa:
The Staff Sargent: "All right now maggots, listen up! You have one clip of ammo. Your goal is to hit this slow moving target we code named 'Movie Hero'. You will each be given a sub-machine gun. Now, all 50 of you will be aiming at this target. TAKE YOUR POSITIONS!"
The 50 recruits took their positions "Ready! AIM! FIRE!"
There was a burst of fire as the target started to move. All the recruits fired wildly, all missing the target that was 5 feet in front of them. The bullets went all around the target, some even got close, but none hit it. Well, one did.
"PVT LADYBUG! You hit the TARGET! No one in the history of this camp has managed that!"
ladybug smiled
"Son, you are too good for this camp. Go here." He handed him a card for the IIAS sniper school.
It was with that card that ladybug washed out of "Movie bad guy training school" for being able to hit the "hero" with an automatic weapon (something which movies have taught us is impossible)
Exterous was typing away happily on his laptop when all of a sudden
"PAGE COULD NOT BE FOUND??!!" he retyped the address, waited and got the same response
"No, no no no no no" he kept trying "Ahahaha! WAH! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Two hours alter Mr Peanuts found Exterous sniveling in the corner, shaking with his tumb in his mouth. He was unable to get Exterous out of this funk.
The Next Day:
Exterous was sitting at his desk happily typing away on his laptop.
Mr Peanuts poked his head in the door. "Everything alright in here sir?"
Exterous looked up "Yes. Why do you ask?"
"No reason." and he left
Exterous shrugged. Aside from that bad dream he had, everything was fine.
Outside Milan:
Anibal: "Im just walking around like a random civilan. Yep, nothing interesting about me, just a random civilian."
Random Civilian: "How are you sir?" as he walked by
"Fine, just a random civilian doing random civilain stuff."
Random Civilian stopped walking "You're not a random civilian."
"Sure i am."
"No you're not."
Anibal took out a name tag and wrote 'Random Civilian' on it. "Am too."
"No, you can't be."
"Why not?" Anibal demanded.
"Well, if you look at the post, each time you speak, the name Anibal is associated with it, not the name Random Civilian."
"Welll.....but...." Anibal looked around "LOOK OVER THERE!!!" he pointed behind Random Civilain.
Random Civilain turned to look. While he did so, Anibal ran off........
Infantry Training Center in Genoa:
The Staff Sargent: "All right now maggots, listen up! You have one clip of ammo. Your goal is to hit this slow moving target we code named 'Movie Hero'. You will each be given a sub-machine gun. Now, all 50 of you will be aiming at this target. TAKE YOUR POSITIONS!"
The 50 recruits took their positions "Ready! AIM! FIRE!"
There was a burst of fire as the target started to move. All the recruits fired wildly, all missing the target that was 5 feet in front of them. The bullets went all around the target, some even got close, but none hit it. Well, one did.
"PVT LADYBUG! You hit the TARGET! No one in the history of this camp has managed that!"
ladybug smiled
"Son, you are too good for this camp. Go here." He handed him a card for the IIAS sniper school.
It was with that card that ladybug washed out of "Movie bad guy training school" for being able to hit the "hero" with an automatic weapon (something which movies have taught us is impossible)
Sorry for spamming, I meant 4th page. Anyways this will add and make more ppl look at this thread! Great AAR!
Exterous was sitting in his office when Mr G 24 ran in:
"SIR!"
"Yes soldier?"
"You are advancing too quickly!"
"What do you mean? Its only 1938."
"No, i mean too far ahead in the game."
"What?" Exterous looked at the date on his laptop "Good Lord, 1942! And look at all that I have done! Good call soldier!"
"Thank you sir. If I may ask, what do you plan to do?"
"Enact 'Operation Spend More Money' immediately!"
*gasp* "Not that sir!"
"What would you have me do?"
"Play a different country while your posting catches up?"
"No, too dangerous taht i will lose interest."
"Stop playing?"
Exterous and Mr G 24 looked at eachother and then started laughing
****5 min later*****
"My stomach hurts" complained Mr G 24
"No time for that now soldier. We must get this underway immediately."
"Sir." Mr G turned to go, but looked back "Will i get to stab anything?"
"Sorry son, but i don't think so."
*********
Operations center in Rome:
*Sounds of radio crackiling in the background*
"Cssssshhhhh Do you have it? over Csssshhhhhhh"
"Negative control."
*from another radio:
"crack No sign of it sir"
*and another:
"Pssssshhhhh Can't find it anywhere sir. ssssshhhhhhh"
Exterous paced the control center "Won't anyone take my money?"
Random civilain (anibal): "Sir I have a lead!"
Exterous whirrled around
"Opps, i just called them, apparently the web site was wrong."
"DAMN!" Exterous shook his fist at the innacurrate website.
"SIR! I HAVE IT! It's at location delta niner alpha foxtrot!"
Exterous turned to his handpicked team "LETS ROLL!"
The seven figures were dressed all in black with Exterous in the lead. Morpheus in his black trenchcoat, Perkele in his black labcoat, Easily in his black pajamas, ladybug in his black ninja suit and and Nikolai II in his black propaganda poster. Mr G 24 and 2coats followed in black hats, but rather garish neon green shirts. They smiled, they liked matching.
*theme to Mission impossible starts to play*
Exterous made hand motions to the men. Perkele ran ahead and got them a parking spot.
"Oh No!" Exterous said. Perkele was in danger of being overrun by an irrate soccer mom:
"I'm too fat/lazy to walk an extra 5 feet to the door so i will jsut wait here till you leave the parking spot, holding up the traffic behind me while i do so." Perkele was struck by the violent opening of her door in his face. ladybug quickly silenced her with a well aimed shot. But more follwoed her. ladybug saught cover under a car and tried to keep them at bay while the team entered the structure
Parking spot secured, the team moved out. As they neared the doors, another problem occured. A group of old people in walkers were exiting all of the doors at the same time, throwing up an impossibly slow moving obstacle. "We have no time for this!" cried Nikolai II as he ran over, picked up an elderly gentelman and moved him out of the way. The team flowed smoothly through the opening in the defenses that Nikolai had breached.
Behind them, Nikolai was felled with a quick swipe of a cain. "KEEP MOVING! shouted Exterous. Their only hope was speed.
But now: Hordes of un-attended children rushed at them, trying as hard as possible to run right in your way while angry aprents yelled at them to come back from 50 feet away, but not actually doing anything.
Morpehus whipped open his coat, which he had linned with candy: "Who wants candy?!" and then ran off, children running after. One after another jumped on him and Morpheus went down
Exterous, Easily, Mr G, and 2coats arrived at the location. They siezed the objective and then-
*musics turns to elevator music*
-waited patiently in line.
*music change to mission impossible theme again*
When suddenly behind him "HEY! Move this line along! I am waaaaayy too impatient and way too much of a jerk to wait my turn. HELP ME NOW!!!!"
Easily turned, kicked the jerk in the knee and proccedded to gag him.
Exterous exchenged valuables with the busy gnetelman behind the counter, said 'thank you' and ran out with the objective. Easily was left behind, securing another irrate customer who plainly couldn't read the clearly stated return policy and wanted everyone to bendover backwards because she was an idiot.
The three remaining figures navigated the parking lot with ease. The mounted up and rolled out again. ladybug ran up to join them but was stopped by a blond girl talking into her cell phone "Like, OMG, waht are you saying?! Like my mom totally gave me her credit card so I could totally buy myself a $500 outift. I am like so totally spoiled rotten"
ladybug went down, crying "Why? Oh why crule world, would you let it come to this!"
Exterou cast a glance back at ladybug, but he was lost in his own perosnal hell and could not be saved. Exterous motioned forward and the vehicle lept forward.
On the road out they were almost side-swipped by an irate male driver in an oversized SUV that he didn't really need. "HEY WATCH IT! I'm driving here and my oversized compensation for my masculinity means that i don't have to obey normal driving laws!"
2coats whipped out two coats and threw them over the window of the SUV, jumped out of the car and proceeded to write the now stopped SUV a traffic ticket. The driver hopped out of the car and 2coats gave chase. The incident made in onto Fox's "Scariest Police Chases'
Meanwhile: Exterous and Mr G sighed in reliefe, having gotten away. As they approached their destination: "Why am I here?"
Exterous turned to Mr G "What do you mean?" They got out of the car and walked upstairs
"Well, everyone else got to do something."
Exterous sat down and extracted the objective and loaded it into his laptop. As it started to load there was a voice from another room: "Honey! I need you to do a few things for me first."
Exterous smiled. He turned to Mr G and pointed "Showtime." Mr G walked off to do the woman's bidding and Exterous smiled as the installation finished. Operation Spend More Money was a success. He only hoped it was worth the cost. The objective: A game called Victoria, freed from the deadly structure called a Mall............
(hope you all like my harrowing tale of my recent purchase You will all be back in character when the AAR resumes. Glad you guys like it so far!!!!)
"SIR!"
"Yes soldier?"
"You are advancing too quickly!"
"What do you mean? Its only 1938."
"No, i mean too far ahead in the game."
"What?" Exterous looked at the date on his laptop "Good Lord, 1942! And look at all that I have done! Good call soldier!"
"Thank you sir. If I may ask, what do you plan to do?"
"Enact 'Operation Spend More Money' immediately!"
*gasp* "Not that sir!"
"What would you have me do?"
"Play a different country while your posting catches up?"
"No, too dangerous taht i will lose interest."
"Stop playing?"
Exterous and Mr G 24 looked at eachother and then started laughing
****5 min later*****
"My stomach hurts" complained Mr G 24
"No time for that now soldier. We must get this underway immediately."
"Sir." Mr G turned to go, but looked back "Will i get to stab anything?"
"Sorry son, but i don't think so."
*********
Operations center in Rome:
*Sounds of radio crackiling in the background*
"Cssssshhhhh Do you have it? over Csssshhhhhhh"
"Negative control."
*from another radio:
"crack No sign of it sir"
*and another:
"Pssssshhhhh Can't find it anywhere sir. ssssshhhhhhh"
Exterous paced the control center "Won't anyone take my money?"
Random civilain (anibal): "Sir I have a lead!"
Exterous whirrled around
"Opps, i just called them, apparently the web site was wrong."
"DAMN!" Exterous shook his fist at the innacurrate website.
"SIR! I HAVE IT! It's at location delta niner alpha foxtrot!"
Exterous turned to his handpicked team "LETS ROLL!"
The seven figures were dressed all in black with Exterous in the lead. Morpheus in his black trenchcoat, Perkele in his black labcoat, Easily in his black pajamas, ladybug in his black ninja suit and and Nikolai II in his black propaganda poster. Mr G 24 and 2coats followed in black hats, but rather garish neon green shirts. They smiled, they liked matching.
*theme to Mission impossible starts to play*
Exterous made hand motions to the men. Perkele ran ahead and got them a parking spot.
"Oh No!" Exterous said. Perkele was in danger of being overrun by an irrate soccer mom:
"I'm too fat/lazy to walk an extra 5 feet to the door so i will jsut wait here till you leave the parking spot, holding up the traffic behind me while i do so." Perkele was struck by the violent opening of her door in his face. ladybug quickly silenced her with a well aimed shot. But more follwoed her. ladybug saught cover under a car and tried to keep them at bay while the team entered the structure
Parking spot secured, the team moved out. As they neared the doors, another problem occured. A group of old people in walkers were exiting all of the doors at the same time, throwing up an impossibly slow moving obstacle. "We have no time for this!" cried Nikolai II as he ran over, picked up an elderly gentelman and moved him out of the way. The team flowed smoothly through the opening in the defenses that Nikolai had breached.
Behind them, Nikolai was felled with a quick swipe of a cain. "KEEP MOVING! shouted Exterous. Their only hope was speed.
But now: Hordes of un-attended children rushed at them, trying as hard as possible to run right in your way while angry aprents yelled at them to come back from 50 feet away, but not actually doing anything.
Morpehus whipped open his coat, which he had linned with candy: "Who wants candy?!" and then ran off, children running after. One after another jumped on him and Morpheus went down
Exterous, Easily, Mr G, and 2coats arrived at the location. They siezed the objective and then-
*musics turns to elevator music*
-waited patiently in line.
*music change to mission impossible theme again*
When suddenly behind him "HEY! Move this line along! I am waaaaayy too impatient and way too much of a jerk to wait my turn. HELP ME NOW!!!!"
Easily turned, kicked the jerk in the knee and proccedded to gag him.
Exterous exchenged valuables with the busy gnetelman behind the counter, said 'thank you' and ran out with the objective. Easily was left behind, securing another irrate customer who plainly couldn't read the clearly stated return policy and wanted everyone to bendover backwards because she was an idiot.
The three remaining figures navigated the parking lot with ease. The mounted up and rolled out again. ladybug ran up to join them but was stopped by a blond girl talking into her cell phone "Like, OMG, waht are you saying?! Like my mom totally gave me her credit card so I could totally buy myself a $500 outift. I am like so totally spoiled rotten"
ladybug went down, crying "Why? Oh why crule world, would you let it come to this!"
Exterou cast a glance back at ladybug, but he was lost in his own perosnal hell and could not be saved. Exterous motioned forward and the vehicle lept forward.
On the road out they were almost side-swipped by an irate male driver in an oversized SUV that he didn't really need. "HEY WATCH IT! I'm driving here and my oversized compensation for my masculinity means that i don't have to obey normal driving laws!"
2coats whipped out two coats and threw them over the window of the SUV, jumped out of the car and proceeded to write the now stopped SUV a traffic ticket. The driver hopped out of the car and 2coats gave chase. The incident made in onto Fox's "Scariest Police Chases'
Meanwhile: Exterous and Mr G sighed in reliefe, having gotten away. As they approached their destination: "Why am I here?"
Exterous turned to Mr G "What do you mean?" They got out of the car and walked upstairs
"Well, everyone else got to do something."
Exterous sat down and extracted the objective and loaded it into his laptop. As it started to load there was a voice from another room: "Honey! I need you to do a few things for me first."
Exterous smiled. He turned to Mr G and pointed "Showtime." Mr G walked off to do the woman's bidding and Exterous smiled as the installation finished. Operation Spend More Money was a success. He only hoped it was worth the cost. The objective: A game called Victoria, freed from the deadly structure called a Mall............
(hope you all like my harrowing tale of my recent purchase
You will all be back in character when the AAR resumes. Glad you guys like it so far!!!!)