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FROM: Freedom1776@station.galacnet
TO: rivka.eshel@station.galacnet
CC: miners@station.galacnet

TOPIC: Production

Rivka Eshel - congratulations. You are hereby promoted to Senior Production Officer, charged with oversight over Lithium Mining and Processing, and bearing seniority over the Miners, with the Chief Miner reporting to you.

You will report directly to me - this is a yuuuge deal.
 
<<< 10:00 - UNAUTHORISED REASSIGNMENT A12, GE16 #CAPTAIN >>>
FRANKS! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? JUST BECAUSE THEY BOTH HANDLE MEAT DOES NOT MAKE THEIR ASSIGNMENTS INTERCHANGEABLE. WE HAVE A CREW OF 30! DO NOT THINK I WILL NOT NOTICE. CORRECT THIS MISTAKE IMMEDIATELY.
<<< 10:02 - RESPONSE TO #CAPTAIN >>> @Maxwell500
ERROR. ERROR. ERROR.
<<< 10:02 - REQUEST CREW REASSIGNMENT >>>
REQUEST IMMEDIATE REASSIGNMENT CREW GE16 FROM COOK TO DOCTOR.
REQUEST IMMEDIATE REASSIGNMENT CREW A12 FROM COOK TO N/A, EMERGENCY REPLACEMENT REQUIRED.
AUTHORISATION F.F.

<<< 10:03 - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PROMOTION CREW GE16! #HEAD OF PERSONNEL >>> @naxhi24

I OFFER MY CONGRATULATIONS ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE CREW AT YOUR NEW PROMOTION!
FOR TOO LONG HAVE YOUR TALENTS BEEN IGNORED.
FOR TOO LONG A COOK.
NOW A DOCTOR!
REMEMBER, A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE.
<<< 10:04 - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR {ERROR} CREW A12! #HEAD OF PERSONNEL >>> @Olligarchy
I OFFER MY {ERROR}
ACCESS REVOKED.

<<< 10:21 - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PROMOTION CREW B1! #HEAD OF PERSONNEL >>> @Mikkel Glahder

I OFFER MY CONGRATULATIONS ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE CREW AT YOUR NEW PROMOTION!
FOR TOO LONG HAVE YOUR TALENTS BEEN IGNORED.
FOR TOO LONG A JANITOR.
NOW A COOK!
REMEMBER, AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY.

 
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A few minutes after calling the deck for a permission to restart production, Eshel finally managed to refresh the amazing browser-based email system that the corporation was still using. At least this time it didn’t crash her computer that already had most of its CPU running various simulations. She quickly deleted all the HR mumbo-jumbo before noticing an email from the boss. Great. Now it was all her responsibility. A small piece of lithium was thrown into the corner, and a few Hebrew curses could be heard through the heavy steel door.

FROM: rivka.eshel@station.galacnet
TO: Freedom1776@station.galacnet

TOPIC: RE: Production

Thank you. This is a huge responsibility I am truly gratified for. Expect the first reports in a few hours.

PS. Will also try my hand in solving this virus business if I have the time. Most likely not given the quality of our crew.

FROM: rivka.eshel@station.galacnet
TO: miners@station.galacnet

TOPIC: Production resumption

Full scale production is to resume at once, I expect reports from all sectors in fifteen minutes, as well as a meeting with the chief miner in half an hour. I will be running hourly personnel and production inspections of each sector. Failure to meet quotas will result in repercussions to the individuals responsible.

With the most kind and best regards, your new Senior Production Officer Engineer
 
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From: barraco.barner@station.galacnet
To: rivka.eshel@station.galacnet

Topic: Drones

Let me be the first to congratulate you on your promotion. I ensure that my drones will engage in tactical mining and will ensure that all Lithium will be properly mined with minimal civilian casualties.



((Orders: Barraco and his drones will mine Lithium and will fill his quotas, even going overboard if possible.))
 
With power restored, Randal once more heard the sweet, sweet hum of his precious machines. All was right in the world. Well besides the incessant annoyances from the human crew of the station, but nothing he could do about that. Best to ignore them. He'd inspect around the station to make sure to keep his machines intact and running properly, and everything would work out.
 
FROM: marie.de.mirando.do.douro@station.galacnet
TO: rivka.eshel@station.galacnet

Topic: <No Subject>

Mining has started. It's going well. Did you know that it burns when it is exposed to water? Neat, huh? It's weird that we're mining this stuff, though. You'd figure that people would want to keep material that explodes in water as far away from them as they could. Speaking of, when do we get leave? I have to go collect the insurance money on my house. It's really important.

Also, how's Lucifer? I mean, I imagine it's hard to keep a goat at home, I don't know how you manage. But he's doing well though, right? Congratulations on the promotion, I hope you'll be able to buy a better apartment with the extra money.

Best regards.

Baroness Marie Beauvais-Ivanov Nagy Horvath von Marsburg de Mirando do Douro
 
FROM: autochapel.kreen@station.galacnet
TO: crew@station.galacnet

Book of Spirits; Chapter 7; Stanza 3
"There is You and only you are You! Each and every Soul is touched by the Spirit, a unique star in the Void."
Hello crew! Another message, another day, another bout of self-reflection in the endless void of space! I have heard tale of a virus and I just want folks to know that you - yes You! - are special, no matter what sort of malady science may have you believe exists!

- Zekehdiah Kreen, Ordained of the Spirit of the Third Seed
 
To: laura.spindle@hr.lithicorp.galacnet
From: barraco.barner@station.galacnet

Topic: Asher Huxham

Hey Laura,

Just writing to lodge a complaint that Chief Miner Asher Huxham is referring to himself as a Native American chief. Although I have much respect for the natives, he's dared to rename the miners under authority. Barraco Barner is a traditional Ugandan name and I'm honestly aghast at the bold movements made by Chief Miner Huxham. If you could let him know that he can't rename me or change my name then that'd be great.

Thanks!
 
Barraco pauses.

"Uhh, Asher. Uhh, I'm going to have to tell you to stop. *long pause.* You can't be renaming me. *long pause.* "You see, *pause*, Barraco is a Ugandan name. *long pause.* Please try to respect that."
 
Asher takes a moment to process this great revelation. Several minutes of awkward silence pass, and at length he nods.

"Man Who Walks With Drills understands. You will not receive a new name. Man Who Walks With Drills is pleased that we have worked this out like men, Braco."
 
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Yelling comes from the now-partially-lit bowels of the station.

"THIS IS BILL. BILL DOES NOT SEND CREW-WIDE SPAM. BILL USES BASIC ETIQUETTE. BILL IS SMART. BE LIKE BILL."
 
Suhan somehow managed to set up the intercom system so that before anybody can talk, the following message is played. Command needs to hide the electronics from him.

"THIS INTERCOM CALL MESSAGE THING IS BEING RECORDED FOR QUALITY ASSURANCE AND WILL CHARGE YOU 5 RUPEES BY THE STANDARD EARTH MINUTE. CAPITALISTS SUCK US DRY, EH? NOT UNLIKE THAT AMIRA CHICK ON NEW NEW DELHI..."
 
FROM: suhan.sathruban@station.galacnet
TO: franky.franks@station.galacnet

Topic: litearlly what

franky, you small african child.

there has been major tradgey on baord this vessel with the change of access from chef to medic and vice versa. tonight's curry night, which i anticipated greatly, has seemingly been changed to that of boring bland slav turnip concotion, and dearest gordond is nowhere to be found. to this i say 'litearlly what.' please fix this immediately for the sake of collective health and safety on board this ship, and for the sake of good yumyums at din tongiht.

much thanks.
s.s.
 
Within minutes of her forwarding the news about the strange in production management structure, Eshel’s email was filled with pointless messages of congratulations and other things. Most of them flew into the deleted folder with haste and without a reply, but one of them caught her attention immediately and she was forced to write a response. With a frown, and then a face of puzzlement she typed up a reply to this “baroness”.

FROM: rivka.eshel@station.galacnet
TO: marie.de.mirando.do.douro@station.galacnet

Topic: RE:<No Subject>

Good. However I wanted to fix this misunderstanding regarding lithium. Firstly, what you describe as an explosion is in most conditions just a very aggressive reaction that happens to produce hydrogen gas, often igniting with a flame. Hardly too dangerous if there are limited quantities of the reactants. Our storage equipment is safe and secure, so this is no problem. If we are talking about more reactive alkali metals, I’d recommend studying the ones further down the periodic table, but I am sure you shouldn’t bother yourself. However, as I think further education is in order, I will try to get the HR person to book a time for a lecture or two on lithium’s properties, applications and importance.

There are no leaves, as you should by now know if you ever read your contract. Hopefully you didn’t fall for the 50-year one, like I.

I almost never respond to question regarding my private life, but in this case I must say I have no idea what you are talking about. As for money, my contract with the corporation states that everything I earn for the next eight years and ten months will go straight to them in order to pay my debts for the sponsorship of my degree. Though it’s still a relief, as they have other ways of getting their money, if they viewed my performance unsatisfactory. I really do hope you unchecked the voluntary organ harvest box.

Best regards.


After the amazing browser-based email system again froze after pressing sent, Esher decided to go inspect the production sites. She had got intermediate reports from only two sectors, and the Chief Miner had failed to report to her. As she walked into the mining hanger she noticed that the circus was in town, or it had become the filming stage of a bad C-class holowestern. Eshel’s head rested against her palm for a moment, as she cursed having to run a mental hospital. With a determined look on her face, she marched forward with a notebook in hand and the lab coat fluttering.

Chief Miner, I thought I was clear that I wanted the report brought to me in person. Written. 3 minutes ago.

Needless to say Esher wasn’t in a good mood. What a surprise.
 
It was seemingly even worse than she could have imagined. The mining crew was even worse than her engineering peers. Simply amazing. Rivka Eshel had learned to ignore the jokes, insults and various other pranks related mostly to such words as "drilling", yet she couldn’t help but to angrily rip the paper from the Chief’s hand after hearing her fancy Indian name. Opening the small piece of paper she simply stared at it with amazement, then back at the Chief Miner with a fiercely furious flare in her eyes. Holding up the paper she starts to yell.

And now then what is this supposed to be?! Another joke? Is there a single miner here who takes his job seriously!? You think the lithium is mining itself while you play the Sheriff here?! No! If my calculations are right, based on the samples, we are dealing with some very poor quality rock, and your quotas aren’t going to fill themselves!

Angered Eshel took a deep breath and then accidentally stared at Barraco who was working with his drones.

You! You are now a Senior Mining Specialist, and you will be the acting Chief Miner or whatever in here, until I get this mess sorted. Just try to run the show, I am sure there someone you can manage to work with. I want a report every hour, delivered to my office. Written on a computer. Printed. IN ENGLISH. And you, “Chief”, will probably get a meeting with the HR – or the captain over this simply brilliant report of yours. And for heaven's sake, start mining here! And Barraco, no HATS!

Visibly frustrated Eshel left with as speedy steps as she had entered with, deciding to instead go inspect some equipment. And to take the “report” to the HR office and head of personnel as a justification for requesting a permanent transfer for the “Chief”.
 
"Oh well." Ramsey notes reading the email of his suspension as he dumps the steak he'd been cooking in the trash compactor before typing up an email to the crew.

FROM: jonathan.ramsey@station.galacnet
TO: crew@station.galacnet

Topic: FYI

Hello Crew,
Due to my suspension Curry night has been cancelled. I wish Chef Ivan well in his new duties as chef.

With kind regards,
JGR

Before heading out, Ramsey locks the food processor with a smirk. Good luck lads...
 
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Name: Alexander Kowalsky
Rank & Position: Miner
Bio: Hard working or hardly working depending on who you ask. Applied for the job to repay the mortgage. Hates bankers, finansists and white collars.