Chapter 15: Meanwhile, in Italy
"Guys, we need to get everyone back up to speed on what happened in Italy pronto! There was a huge unregistered timeslip for the Churchill plot last chapter and now the timelines are out of sink."
"Um...okay, hang on. Okay, so how about this. Let's say we just have the cabinet sans Mussolini have a few coffee breaks..."
5th September 1940
“The Hungarians want us to do what?”
Major Catastrophe and Bean-Counter were catching up over coffee in a nice café very far away from the chaos in the Palace.
“They have decided after being at war for several months that now is the time to hold fighter competitions. They are asking for demonstrations from all the major nations of the world.”
Bean-counter sipped his drink. For sure, it made no sense, but fascism rarely did.
“Well,” the army officer said, “I suppose we could send some crews along. We aren’t currently at war with anyone and technically our planes fly alright. It’s mostly our airmen who are terrible.”
“Yes, but given that we’ll be the only ones sending anything, if we do send anything, we’re bound to be picked. Which raises the question, do we wish to arm a nation that very publicly claimed parts of our empire this year?”
“Are we really going to be the only ones there?”
"Well...there are several universally recognised great powers, that everyone knows."
"Yes, the standard list of recognised great powers, that everyone knows."
"Right. Well...the French don't have an air force anymore, or much of anything really."
"Madagascar in 20 years is sure going to be interesting though."
"If by interesting you mean ecologically devastated, yes. So, no French planes."
"I guess the Germans and British won't send any either."
"Yes...the British are currently fighting the Hungarians, and the Luftwaffe is the only branch of the German Armed forces not being decimated by this war. So no planes there either."
"What about the US? They've very publicly said they aren't going to fight anyone, ever again."
"They also said they had an aerospace industry in their government release pamphlet. Clearly they are lying, given that no one on Earth has anything approaching space-worthy vessels, and the Americans have produced exactly zero planes in 4 years of SIM monitoring their factories."
"Um...are you sure we aren't missing any?"
"Quite sure. Their last plane went down with Amelia Earhart."
“The Japanese have planes though. Good ones too, so they claim."
"They do have planes, but no factories. They've been stolen by moonmen."
"Moonmen?"
"Moonmen. The Japanese are working flat-out to replace their loses, but it's taking some time. Especially because they're in the middle of a war of attrition with China. And somehow winning."
"1 million vs 5 million loses is quite...catastrophically apocalyptic."
"Yes, there really should be more fallout from that, but nobody cares because."
"So...either we arm them or the Soviets do."
"Quite. And desperate as the pickings are, I can't quite see the Hungarians picking Russian designed and built planes sold to them by Stalin. Even if they weren't planning on invading the country within the year."
“Well, the army doesn’t care. We’re too busy working on our new medium tank, the M16 Sahariano. It’s a new prototype but shows some promise. In the desert anyway...if we ever fight another desert war. Oh, we’ve also finished work on the new armoured tankette. The Fiat 2800.”
Bean-Counter paused and thought for a moment. “Surely you don’t mean the actual
Fiat 2800? That’s just a car.”
“Um…” Major Catastrophe tailed off. “Well…there was a designed and built prototype called the Cingolette, which is an actual tankette which just uses the engine of the Fiat 2800. But…yeah, it sounds like someone got confused and just built loads and loads of cars.”
The pair descended into an awkward silence.
“I won’t tell if you don’t?” Bean-counter offered.
“I think that is for the best.”
…
7th October 1940
We once again return to the café of chill, located just outside earshot of the Imperial Palace in Rome. Major Catastrophe and Bean-Counter have been joined by Alan, our hero, and Victor Emmanuel III, the former King of Italy, who for some reason is also heir to the throne.
“Churchill is being very…trusting.” Alan said.
SIM had been carefully watching the Gibraltar garrison, as well as a further detachment of British troops on the Rock, as they left their standard posts and took advantage of the military access negotiated between the empires to wander through Spain and France.
“Did they say where they were going? I feel like we should have asked them.” Catastrophe suddenly realised, still a little put-out by the disappointment of his new ‘tankettes’.
“We aren’t sure,” Bean-Counter replied, “but they’ve left the Rock completely undefended. As you say Alan, it is surprising, though I suppose we don’t have any men anywhere near there either.”
“Did you hear about Norway?” the King asked.
“I think the whole world can hear Churchill’s ranting about success and throwing the Germans into the sea and all that,” Bean-Counter said dryly. “Then again, it was a masterful bit of strategy. We are right not to want war with the British, I think.”
“Yes, but the Emperor wants to join in with this damn silly Soviet Invasion!” the King exploded, then shrank back in fear of being expunged.
The rest of the table shrugged. “Meh. Sounds daft to us too, but he’s literally never been wrong and everything he does turns to gold,” Major Catastrophe explained. “Just smile and nod. We only plan to take Ukraine and Crimea. And create some buffer states around the Caspian Sea, if we can. We’re basically just walking across the unsecured bordered, grabbing some stuff and then stopping at some natural defensive lines. If the Germans win, we keep our swag. If not, I doubt the Russian’s will want to fight the entire Roman Empire. We’ll probably just go back to pre-war borders.”
“What about this tri-partite pact?” the King said, throwing down a newspaper with the Japanese offer emblazoned all over it. “Are we really going to sign up with a people who’ve been gleefully fighting the Great War again, at the cost of over 5 million Chinese and 1 million of their own men?”
“I really don’t want to sign,” Alan agreed. “The Japanese have framed it as the global community becoming ‘increasingly hostile to
our efforts’. And yet,
we have completed our Empire, and everyone is happy. The Germans on the other hand are perennial losers, declaring war on most of the world and losing. Japan meanwhile is trying to depopulate Asia and doing a fair job at it. Why on earth would we want to be associated with these people?”
“Because if Russia attacks any one of us, the other two join in.” Catastrophe said, grimly.
“Why on earth would Stalin attack us?”
“You think he won’t? Like it or not, Hitler copied our political idea and has been ramming down Russia’s throat for years. If he declares war on global bolshevism, with the Axis behind him, Stalin will probably declare war on fascism. After all, we are planning on invading the Soviet Union at some point, even if not quite when the German one starts.”
“I suppose…so long as it is purely defensive. SIM is reporting that Japan is even now planning to ‘strike south’, whatever that means, even as they are deadlocked in China. I will not have this Empire fight Russia and the rest of the great powers
at the same time!”
The group collapsed into silence.
“Well, we are going to be fighting the Russians soon. Though presumably not this year. We’re about to enter winter after all…”
…
13th December 1940
Germany declares war on the Soviet Union.
…
15th December 1940
“Oh fucking hell!”
