World Conquest for Dummies

[Peter Ebbesen]

Originally posted by Carolus Rex
I have some criticism :

Mt Ebbesen, u have written that u have lowered inflation. IMO, that is a crime against our and ur style of playing. Bad man!
The higher the better!

Lowering inflation by the appointment of governors is a perfectly valid 39th century art form of the Duer'en'Nørd school of abstract art, introduced by the contemporary cyborg the lefthanded chanting genuflector, Car'din al-Biggles-2, as any educated gentleman should know.

Which explains your ignorance, I suppose.

But doesn't excuse it, I'm afraid.

And a keen appreciation of art is a must for any World Conqueror, so I am afraid that I will have to punish you.

WHACK!
CHOP!

Ouch....

<rumblebumblerumble>
Strike!

Yes! All nineteen femurs! That's a new record.

Oh, and as to you, Carlos "the Rubberduck" Rex, since class is over you can collect your head right away. It rolled thataway.

 

[Wulfram]

Sir, is there anywhere equivalent to Helvetia which doesn't have max Plutocracy (Cavalry costs 28 without inflation) and max free subjects, as well as rather high innovation. A culture shared by more than 2 provinces would be nice too.

 

[unmerged(2833)]

Originally posted by Wulfram
Sir, is there anywhere equivalent to Helvetia which doesn't have max Plutocracy (Cavalry costs 28 without inflation) and max free subjects, as well as rather high innovation. A culture shared by more than 2 provinces would be nice too.

Beluchistan?

 

[Peter Ebbesen]

Originally posted by Wulfram
Sir, is there anywhere equivalent to Helvetia which doesn't have max Plutocracy (Cavalry costs 28 without inflation) and max free subjects, as well as rather high innovation. A culture shared by more than 2 provinces would be nice too.

Tibet. The most defensible starting position in the simulation and a grand total of not 2, nor 3, nor even 4 but FIVE! provinces are Tibetan.

Tibet does have a few other minor disadvantages, however, which will quickly become obvious to the engaged student.

Maskasser should not be disregarded either in terms of densiveness.

But nothing is quite like Helvetia.

 

[unmerged(3931)]

1. Which of the following statements most clearly reflects your style?
C) Bwhahahahahahahahahaaaha!

I usually do need more diplomats but I assume you mean for diplo-annexing.

2. Which is your preferred annexation style?
C) The Way of the Conqueror: Why waste money on diplomacy when you can buy troops?

When governments fall it is pretty close to annexation anyway.

3. How do you feel about friendly casualties?
C) Friends? What are you talking about?

Today's friends are tomorrow's enemies.

4. Which of the following most clearly reflects your relations with your neighbours?
C) Neighbours?

I rarely care about relations.

5. How are your opinions regarding the support limit?
C) With enough troops, nobody dares bitch about the support limit anyhow

I try raising my support limit but can never keep up with troop building.

6. Which of the following is closest to your opinion on rebels and revolts?
C) Who cares? If God had meant for rebels to succeed, he would have given them more cavalry

I am vigilant about putting down all rebellions ASAP, however.

7. How challenging nations do you prefer to control in the simulation?
B) A major, like Denmark, Portugal, or Venice

and

C) Timurids, Tibet, or other interesting countries

The early years of Portugal or Venice are fun but after one century they're so easy. So I have to concentrate on mission impossible countries.

8. How do you go about exploiting the simulation
A) I will use every single exploit, no matter how scummy or unrealistic, and expect it to work when I receive my posting

I want somebody to fix these exploits. Otherwise, ahhhahahhaha!

9. What is your opinion on freedom of speech
B) Nice, so long as people don't critize me

I like to have a balance of freedom vs. serfdom if for no other reason than to avoid the +5 revolt risk events (I prefer 6 or 7 on the freedom/serfdom scale).

10. How much innovativeness will you tolerate
B) A bit. Innovation is the mother of progress, but we need those missionaries
C) None. Innovation is the mother of revolts, and while I am an individual, you are all narrowly focused drones slaving your lives away to support the empire

A bit in the first half of the game, none at the end.

11. How do you deal with inflation?
B) A little inflation never harmed anyone, if it was incurred in a good cause

I'm an inflation miser nonetheless. I reached 7% inflation with Benin and was uncomfortable with that.

12. How is your attitude towards religious conversion
C) Convert. CONVERT!. CONVERT!!

Some of you Christians and/or Moslems I'll overlook.

13. Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain
C) But then, the Gods didn't conquer the world, did they? What a bunch of losers.

Huh?

 

[Prufrock451]

Sir!

Nippon in 1554: all revolts quelled and the home provinces quiet. Korea and Jilin annexed- prepared to release Manchuria as a vassal to snap up Chinese provinces... should that become necessary. Seven colonies and trading posts in Siberia, an army poised outside Malacca, Brunei and Mataram vassalized, Taiwan colonized and fortified, as are another five provinces in the East Indies, and another four East Indies colonies under development. Excellent relations with our ally China. Conversions underway.

I'll report back when the rest of the world is under control.

 

[unmerged(3931)]

I'll bet you took on the rebllion risk. I would have lost Kanto to someone to avoid those nasty homeland rebellions. Then I would be moving my capital to the mainland or even another continent. If you don't own the province where your new capital is supposed to go, the capital moves to the lowest number province in province.csv. Cute huh? 8) It is probably an "exploit." What do you say proffy? Also, how about intentionally losing Kanto to avoid the revolts?

Even without exploits, Nippon is destined for greatness. Climb over China, Chigiante Kagnate, Timiruids, Iraq, then Mamemluks for a temporary port in the Med. (Lebanon or Delta). Get island port in the Med., (Cyprus or Crete) to be safe from badboy wars. Vassalize or gain military access in the Med. and soon you're at war with Spain gaining possessions in Iberia and the Caribbean. Getting to Spain fast is a cornerstone of many of my WC scenarios.

 

[unmerged(6777)]

Originally posted by Peter Ebbesen
Congratulations, MrT. You just got assigned to control the L1 Trade post China in 1779. You've got 1000 men under Lung in Roma and no income. There are more than 100,000 troops that can reach your forces within two months.

Since you don't control any provinces, the war score against you is 100%.

Your mission is to prevent the Byzantine empire from sending a diplomat to annex you, and then take control of the world within 40 years.

Listen carefully to your cockroach's advice. It might know a useful hiding place for your puppet emperor.

Well it took two days but...

I disbanded 600 of the men into the trade post, converting it into a small city. Since I had no women, I was forced to have them mate with the Tibettan wlak which, although a little difficult to talk them into at first, turned out all right as an experiment. The children were roughly humanoid but possesed incredibly tough hides and stank so badly that anyone coming withing 100 yards immediately snuffed it.

I proceeded to conquer all the land masses that they could march to but their hoof-like paws made ships out of the question so I freed Venice as a vassal, forced them to build ships, and had them sail me to North America where I began my conquests.

By September 1819 I was only missing the southern tip of South America when I had a dreaded CTD, wiping out the whole game. Upon investigating the mater more closely, I discovered that a small cockroach had crawled onto my motherboard and welded itself perminently there...

Just goes to show you.

 

[Peter Ebbesen]

Originally posted by ws2_32
I'll bet you took on the rebllion risk. I would have lost Kanto to someone to avoid those nasty homeland rebellions. Then I would be moving my capital to the mainland or even another continent. If you don't own the province where your new capital is supposed to go, the capital moves to the lowest number province in province.csv. Cute huh? 8) It is probably an "exploit." What do you say proffy? Also, how about intentionally losing Kanto to avoid the revolts?

Since you ask....

That's a dirty rotten trick, is what it is In this particular scenario actually worse than both loanshark1 and loanshark2 (lending money to people so they can afford to make peace with you), since it removes the only remotely challenging aspect to playing Nippon.

Sadly, students aren't punished for finding simulator weaknesses (or I would be at it all day), but only for actually exploiting them

....
....

Ok, I lied

WHAP-WHAP-WHAP
CRUNCH
CRUNCH
CRUNCH
CRUNCH


Ouch

Please hand me the other hand, student.

Stop running!!

Damn. Too late.


And nice try, MrT.

However, permit one to wonder as to how you moved the 1000 men from Roma to Taiwan without a fleet. Had you disbanded the army in Roma the men would just have become yet another ethnic minority with its own cuisine, quaint restaurants and stereotypical traditions.
Permit me to...

Now where did he go? Methinks the students are finally catching on. Yet another triumph of modern education. Sadly.

Note to self: 1) Never let them see it coming. 2) Acquire harpoon in case 1) fails.

 

[unmerged(3931)]

-----------------------------------------------------------------
8. How do you go about exploiting the simulation
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Faeelin posted 28-05-2002 02:04

C. God, you're facing morons who send 90k troops to Greenland while you sack their capital. Why make it easier?

Which brings up another question for the professor... What about taking provinces that you know the AI is a sucker for and then letting him suffer big attrition? Is intentionally exagerated attrition an "exploit?" Whatever rule you'de make about it, I'd just go up to the edge of the line without crossing it. Is that an exploit in and of itself? I have a good sense of humor about it all; but it really is a serious matter about exploits. With so many exploits only the mission impossible countries are fun for WC for me. I could propose ways of fixing them. But would they ever be fixed?

 

[Peter Ebbesen]

Originally posted by ws2_32

Which brings up another question for the professor... What about taking provinces that you know the AI is a sucker for and then letting him suffer big attrition? Is intentionally exagerated attrition an "exploit?" Whatever rule you'de make about it, I'd just go up to the edge of the line without crossing it. Is that an exploit in and of itself? I have a good sense of humor about it all; but it really is a serious matter about exploits. With so many exploits only the mission impossible countries are fun for WC for me. I could propose ways of fixing them. But would they ever be fixed?

Exploit rule one: If you consider that something might probably be considered an exploit, it probably will be

Exploit rule two: So what?

The AI forces are going to die of attrition no matter what you do. The Teacher couldn't care less which provinces you take, or in which order, so long as you take them all. Intentionally basing a strategy on maximizing the use of this aspect of AI stupidity does, however, deserve a mention in the report.

E.g. I've begun experimenting with Tibet and during the first many years most* enemy armies end up dying in the snows as they attempt to besiege my worthless provinces. Given my mighty manpower pool of 4K, there is no way I am meeting most enemies in battle. I certainly use the terrain to my advantage. Now, if I later on consistently suckered enemy armies into following me back to Tibet to deal with them, it would probably deserve mentioning.

* The exception being China which has a manpower pool sufficient to deal with 25% attrition per month.

OOC: I hope it is absolutely clear that I, Peter Ebbesen, personally, being a distinct entity from the Teacher (who, admittely, just so happens to be named Peter Ebbesen, coincidence, I assure you), couldn't care less about what you do in your games so long as you have fun, and that when I shout exploit! it is mostly for purposes of teasing, because a player uses some feature of AI stupidity or bug, which I find makes the game too simple/easy.

The Teacher, on the other hand

AHA!

CRUNCH
CRUNCH
CRUNCH
CRUNCH
Lost one already, I see.

Ouch!

Cares.... A lot.

 

[Faeelin]

Hey Professor, what music do you listen to whie conquering the world?

 

[unmerged(3931)]

Thanks for the speedy replies... That's all my questions... Really! I think I'll go away now for some time while I still have some feeling in my fingertips. A couple of busted knuckles... more than an equitable price for the answers to my eternal questions. Ha, did I ever pull one over on the prof.

 

[Peter Ebbesen]

Originally posted by Faeelin
Hey Professor, what music do you listen to whie conquering the world?

Falalalalalalala
Fallalalalallallalaaa
Falalalalalal
Falalalalalalalala

Just kidding

I quickly got tired of the simulations limited audio capabilities, and stayed with the silence of my own thoughts, occasionally playing some Beethoven ("Ode to joy" is probably my favourite musical composition), a bit of Brahms and Vivaldi, and occasionally a musical like Lloyd Webbers "Cats", but mostly just blessed silence.

I leave Wagners "Ride of the Valkyries" for desperate times, for as they say, desperate times calls for desperate measures.

 

[Carolus Rex]

Originally posted by Peter Ebbesen


Oh, and as to you, Carlos "the Rubberduck" Rex, since class is over you can collect your head right away. It rolled thataway.

*tries to catch it while stopping Sharur & Wulfram playing football with the head*

 

[unmerged(4271)]

Originally posted by Carolus Rex


*tries to catch it while stopping Sharur & Wulfram playing football with the head*

But the "Rubber Duck" is no match for the hero of the Conference Champions. heagarty intercepts the pass, thunders across the room, and shoots it into the wastebasket as time in the class expires. The shot was good and there was much rejoicing. Except from the the head.

heagarty didn't know much, but what he did know he knew well.

But one thing puzzled him about the assignment: Was he to complete the entire Finals Assignment and post it, or post it incrementally as it was completed to allow for feedback and the harsh criticism he expected, and was conditioned for, after a childhood of following orders from the various failed megolomaniacs serving as his coaches.

 

[Peter Ebbesen]

Originally posted by heagarty

But one thing puzzled him about the assignment: Was he to complete the entire Finals Assignment and post it, or post it incrementally as it was completed to allow for feedback and the harsh criticism he expected, and was conditioned for, after a childhood of following orders from the various failed megolomaniacs serving as his coaches.

He was to poste it in a separate thread using whatever posting method he preferred, being constrained only as was specified in the assignment.

 

[Tue]

A new student wanders into the now deserted classroom. Seeing how all proof of the conquest has mysteriously disappeared from the thread he cannot help wondering if it was all in the professors head...

Where have the screenshots gone?

 

[unmerged(2377)]

There were no screenshots. They were hallucinations by the Prof. after he smoked weed and did some other unnamed drugs.

 

[Peter Ebbesen]

Originally posted by Tue
A new student wanders into the now deserted classroom. Seeing how all proof of the conquest has mysteriously disappeared from the thread he cannot help wondering if it was all in the professors head...

Where have the screenshots gone?

To the eternal care2 tomb of lost pictures. Read the tread How to view Oopsed pictures from care2 to learn how how to restore them. (Basically rightclick to get properties and insert url address).

Care2s change of policy is rather unfortunate (and occurred fairly recently), but they do host approximately 100 screenshots for me free of charge. I'll see if I can come up with some devious workaround for my next AAR.