World Conquest for Dummies

Carolus Rex · May 27, 2002

1. Which of the following statements most clearly reflects your style?

C) Bwhahahahahahahahahaaaha!

2. Which is your preferred annexation style?

B) The Zen Thingy: Diplomatic annexation occasionally, but usually military annexation

3. How do you feel about friendly casualties?
C) Friends? What are you talking about?

4. Which of the following most clearly reflects your relations with your neighbours?
C) Neighbours?

5. How are your opinions regarding the support limit?
B) I let my armysize break the support limit when needed, after a careful consideration of the consequences

6. Which of the following is closest to your opinion on rebels and revolts?

C) Who cares? If God had meant for rebels to succeed, he would have given them more cavalry

7. How challenging nations do you prefer to control in the simulation?
B) A major, like Denmark, Portugal, or Venice

8. How do you go about exploiting the simulation
C) Who needs exploits when he can use cavalry?

9. What is your opinion on freedom of speech
C) Who cares? You are all serfs, do you hear me. Serfs! Serfs! Serfs!

10. How much innovativeness will you tolerate
C) None. Innovation is the mother of revolts, and while I am an individual, you are all narrowly focused drones slaving your lives away to support the empire

11. How do you deal with inflation?
C) Why am I the Master of Inflation?

12. How is your attitude towards religious conversion
C) Convert. CONVERT!. CONVERT!!

13. Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain
C) But then, the Gods didn't conquer the world, did they? What a bunch of losers.

Scoring:
Now, for each A) answer, score 5 points. For each B) answer, score 10) and for each C) answer, score 20) points.

I scored 226-250 points
Your spirit guide is a Dragon. Your assignment is the Golden Horde, The Timurid Empire, or the Aztec Empire. You will refrain from all exploits, and revel in the fact that you have been given the chance to excel. You will likely be a well-known WC'er a few centuries from now.

Muahahahahahaha.

Peter Ebbesen · May 27, 2002

Originally posted by Carolus Rex

Muahahahahahaha.

Not so fast, Carlos "the Rubberduck" Rex. While your unmodified score was indeed 230 points, your -50 malus drops your score to 180 points, the Eagle category.

Nice try, though.

unmerged(2833) · May 27, 2002

Originally posted by Carolus Rex

Muahahahahahaha.

Stop looking at my answers, you cheater

Avocado Aguila · May 27, 2002

1. Which of the following statements most clearly reflects your style?
C) Bwhahahahahahahahahaaaha!

2. Which is your preferred annexation style?
C) The Way of the Conqueror: Why waste money on diplomacy when you can buy troops?

3. How do you feel about friendly casualties?
C) Friends? What are you talking about?

4. Which of the following most clearly reflects your relations with your neighbours?
C) Neighbours?

5. How are your opinions regarding the support limit?
C) With enough troops, nobody dares bitch about the support limit anyhow

6. Which of the following is closest to your opinion on rebels and revolts?
C) Who cares? If God had meant for rebels to succeed, he would have given them more cavalry

7. How challenging nations do you prefer to control in the simulation?
C) Timurids, Tibet, or other interesting countries, eegh Brabant and Orleans are my favotrites though

8. How do you go about exploiting the simulation
C) Who needs exploits when he can use cavalry?

9. What is your opinion on freedom of speech
B) Nice, so long as people don't critize me

10. How much innovativeness will you tolerate
C) None. Innovation is the mother of revolts, and while I am an individual, you are all narrowly focused drones slaving your lives away to support the empire

11. How do you deal with inflation?
C) 100% and counting

12. How is your attitude towards religious conversion
C) Convert. CONVERT!. CONVERT!!

13. Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain
C) But then, the Gods didn't conquer the world, did they? What a bunch of losers.

260-5 i guess:

I scored 251-280 points
Your spirit guide is a transcended Teacher, and while you heed his advice, you don't really need it, as you boldly bestride the stage of the world, and direct your armies to conquest. You will glory in your nearly supernatural abilities, shrug off rebellions, and laugh in the face of adversity, as you guide the Chimu, Mataram or Tibet to glory! Refraining from all exploits, you will impose stricter rules on your own behaviour to make it harder for you to succeed, secure in the knowledge that it will stand you in good stead, when the time for the real wars begin.

So when am i supposted to present my master thesis ?

Best regards,

Avocado

Carolus Rex · May 27, 2002

Originally posted by Peter Ebbesen

Not so fast, Carlos "the Rubberduck" Rex. While your unmodified score was indeed 230 points, your -50 malus drops your score to 180 points, the Eagle category.

Nice try, though.

Poof u!

Peter Ebbesen · May 27, 2002

Originally posted by Avocado Aguila
<SNIP>9. What is your opinion on freedom of speech
B) Nice, so long as people don't critize me <SNIP>

260-5 i guess:

I scored 251-280 points
Your spirit guide is a transcended Teacher, and while you heed his advice, you don't really need it, as you boldly bestride the stage of the world, and direct your armies to conquest. You will glory in your nearly supernatural abilities, shrug off rebellions, and laugh in the face of adversity, as you guide the Chimu, Mataram or Tibet to glory! Refraining from all exploits, you will impose stricter rules on your own behaviour to make it harder for you to succeed, secure in the knowledge that it will stand you in good stead, when the time for the real wars begin.

Not quite. With 12 C's and 1 B your unmodified score is 250, and your modified score 245, putting you in the upper reaches of the Dragon category. However, due to your exceptional record simulating Orleans in your spare time, you are allowed to attempt the higher category.

So when am i supposted to present my master thesis ?

When convenient. But remember that there is no time like the present

Faeelin · May 27, 2002

Re: WCfD Examination

1. Which of the following statements most clearly reflects your style?
A) I just annexed Orleans
B) I need more diplomats for annexing
C) Bwhahahahahahahahahaaaha!

I'll go with Option C. I don't look at it as wrong. I'm just saving the people from their evil monarchs. Honest!

2. Which is your preferred annexation style?
A) The Way of the Dove: Careful diplomatic annexation of multiple nations following decades of vassalisation
B) The Zen Thingy: Diplomatic annexation occasionally, but usually military annexation
C) The Way of the Conqueror: Why waste money on diplomacy when you can buy troops?

Option C. Forget your state gift; Ten thousand men in your capital is a much easier way of getting military access.

3. How do you feel about friendly casualties?
A) I try to minimize them for humanitarian reasons
B) Standing in blood to my knees keeps my boots polished, or at leastred
C) Friends? What are you talking about?

A. They're my troops; I'm the one who fits their bill.
Or did you mean allies?

4. Which of the following most clearly reflects your relations with your neighbours?
A) I like to carefully maintain good relations with my neighbours
B) I like to carefully maintain good relations with my neighbours, while adventuring abroad
C) Neighbours?

C. They're all gonna be jealous of me anyway, so why be nice? Especially when they're unreasonable about things like the right of colonization belonging to me and me alone.

5. How are your opinions regarding the support limit?
A) I carefully keep my army below the support limit, to save money for worthier causes
B) I let my armysize break the support limit when needed, after a careful consideration of the consequences
C) With enough troops, nobody dares bitch about the support limit anyhow

C. If you're worried about the costs of the support limit, then you're doing something wrong.

6. Which of the following is closest to your opinion on rebels and revolts?
A) I fear rebels. I will maintain a vigilant watch while nationalism declines in my provinces. I will pause my conquests if certain areas consistently show positive revolt risk, until I have converted them or reduced the revolt risk by other means
B) I dislike rebels, but I will not let them stop me. Nevertheless, when I get more than ten revolts per month, I immediately stop any and all wars to focus on the rebel problem.
C) Who cares? If God had meant for rebels to succeed, he would have given them more cavalry

B. I find it annoying to have to worry about my screen being lbanked out by revolting messages.

7. How challenging nations do you prefer to control in the simulation?
A) A major major, like Castile/Spain, France, the Ottomans, or Muscovy/Russia
B) A major, like Denmark, Portugal, or Venice
C) Timurids, Tibet, or other interesting countries

Hmm. B. I like a large nation, but not overly large.
Though one province nations with multiple cultures are pretty good.

8. How do you go about exploiting the simulation
A) I will use every single exploit, no matter how scummy or unrealistic, and expect it to work when I receive my posting
B) I shall not loanshark, nor shall I artificially reduce my badboy rating
C) Who needs exploits when he can use cavalry?

C. God, you're facing morons who send 90k troops to Greenland while you sack their capital. Why make it easier?

9. What is your opinion on freedom of speech
A) A fundamental right of every man, woman, and peasant
B) Nice, so long as people don't critize me
C) Who cares? You are all serfs, do you hear me. Serfs! Serfs! Serfs!

A. Freedom of speech gives me better quality infantry.

10. How much innovativeness will you tolerate
A) A lot. Innovation is the mother of progress, and we are all individuals
B) A bit. Innovation is the mother of progress, but we need those missionaries
C) None. Innovation is the mother of revolts, and while I am an individual, you are all narrowly focused drones slaving your lives away to support the empire

B. I need those colonists.

11. How do you deal with inflation?
A) I never rack up any inflation due to my superior economic skills. I balance my budget even if it means delaying conquests, in order to avoid inflation
B) A little inflation never harmed anyone, if it was incurred in a good cause
C) 100% and counting

Hey now, I think A.'s the best. Just because the teacher can't handle it...

12. How is your attitude towards religious conversion
A) Freedom of religion. I won't impose my views on an unsuspecting populace
B) They can have any religion they want, so long as it is mine
C) Convert. CONVERT!. CONVERT!!

B. Pagans are evil. But on the other hand, it costs money to convert, which is better spent towards colonizing. Who cares if Guyenne is Reformed when you own all of the Americas?

13. Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain
A) Describes my playing style to a T. Or possibly a Y.
B) Is that a trick question?
C) But then, the Gods didn't conquer the world, did they? What a bunch of losers.

C. That's why I make it a sworn duty of my nation to conquer the Papal States

Faeelin: +5 points
+5 (did a credible impersonation of King Henry)

175 points, although I think that inflation's bad.

But then, I also use tax collectors and vassals, so what do I know?

Your spirit guide is an Eagle. Your assignment is the German one-province minor of your choice. You will refrain from exploits and base your campaign on blood and iron, and a slight bit of diplomacy to unite some of the other German minors. Your chances of success in your chosen profession is slight, but since when the the threat of imminent demise, disembowelment, and decapacitation stop a would-be conqueror?

Right then. With such encouraging words, how could I fail?

Norgesvenn · May 27, 2002

I got plus points for bad jokes?

Great! Just the way it was back in school. Ahem... otherwise, I think I failed miserably, and I even ended up as some stage prop at some... stage. Still, there's always next time. Or the time after that. Or the the time after that time that came after the next time, you know...

And, just to rectify things: I do not make bad jokes. They are all top-notch, supersmashing jokes, meeting the requirements of the ISO standard of The International Union Of Uselessness.

unmerged(8608) · May 27, 2002

It just occured to me Prof., could you post the final grand total numbers of casualties?...go on..Pleeeeeease

Peter Ebbesen · May 28, 2002

Originally posted by Timmy
It just occured to me Prof., could you post the final grand total numbers of casualties?...go on..Pleeeeeease

Sure. From the 1784 savefile:

Code:

combatlosses = { 
        inf = 11617373.000 
        cav = 4448146.000 
        art = 1132.000 
        warships = 27.000 
        galleys = 4.000 
        transports = 0.000 
        } 
attritionlosses = { 
        inf = 9038688.000 
        cav = 2427295.000 
        art = 21.000 
        warships = 109.000 
        galleys = 44.000 
        transports = 9.000 
        } 
disbandlosses = { 
        inf = 970.000 
        cav = 1496.000 
        art = 53.000 
        warships = 0.000 
        galleys = 4.000 
        transports = 1.000 
        }

So something like 16 million in combat (of which ~1.1 million within the first two years of the civil war) and 11.5 million due to attrition.

Interestingly enough, I don't remember disbanding that transport.

Faeelin · May 28, 2002

....
You've killed more soldiers than there are people on the American continents in 1800.

Prufrock451 · May 28, 2002

Add civilian casualties to that, and Mr. Ebbesen has probably killed more than a third of the world's population.

Cool!

FrosT37 · May 28, 2002

Originally posted by Prufrock451
Add civilian casualties to that, and Mr. Ebbesen has probably killed more than a third of the world's population.

Cool!

he killed it for good of course

Grunthex · May 28, 2002

Yes, but the survivors can grow in a peaceful, utopian world.

Sharur · May 28, 2002

Professor, I guess I'll have to repeat my question. Is there any nation in Europe that I can play instead of playing as Japan? I don't like Asia.

Peter Ebbesen · May 28, 2002

Originally posted by Sharur
Professor, I guess I'll have to repeat my question. Is there any nation in Europe that I can play instead of playing as Japan? I don't like Asia.

And I don't like fish, but that doesn't prevent me from invading Atlantis, now does it?

*thumps Sharur's head against the wall*

How do you think you will ever complete a World Conquest if there are parts of it you don't intend to control?

Or should I take take it, that you do, in fact, intend to take control of the world, but don't feel qualified to start out with an Asian nation? In that case your score can be poodled.

While no nation in Europe in the simulation can mirror the particular challenges of controlling Nippon, you can get pretty close by playing a Cyprus that turns protestant, and later reformed.

*thumps Sharur's head against the wall again for emphasis*

Thanak · May 28, 2002

1. Which of the following statements most clearly reflects your style?
B) I need more diplomats for annexing

2. Which is your preferred annexation style?
C) The Way of the Conqueror: Why waste money on diplomacy when you can buy troops?

3. How do you feel about friendly casualties?
B) Standing in blood to my knees keeps my boots polished, or at leastred

4. Which of the following most clearly reflects your relations with your neighbours?
C) Neighbours?

5. How are your opinions regarding the support limit?
C) With enough troops, nobody dares bitch about the support limit anyhow

I would answer D) There is a support limit ?

6. Which of the following is closest to your opinion on rebels and revolts?
B) I dislike rebels, but I will not let them stop me. Nevertheless, when I get more than ten revolts per month, I immediately stop any and all wars to focus on the rebel problem.

7. How challenging nations do you prefer to control in the simulation?
C) Timurids, Tibet, or other interesting countries

8. How do you go about exploiting the simulation
B) I shall not loanshark, nor shall I artificially reduce my badboy rating

9. What is your opinion on freedom of speech
C) Who cares? You are all serfs, do you hear me. Serfs! Serfs! Serfs!

10. How much innovativeness will you tolerate
C) None. Innovation is the mother of revolts, and while I am an individual, you are all narrowly focused drones slaving your lives away to support the empire

11. How do you deal with inflation?
A) I never rack up any inflation due to my superior economic skills. I balance my budget even if it means delaying conquests, in order to avoid inflation

Bla, if you plan carefully, inflation don't build up. Inflation will crippel you in the long run.

12. How is your attitude towards religious conversion
C) Convert. CONVERT!. CONVERT!!

13. Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain
B) Is that a trick question?

Scoring:
Now, for each A) answer, score 5 points. For each B) answer, score 10) and for each C) answer, score 20) points.

175

I scored 161-200 points
Your spirit guide is an Eagle. Your assignment is the German one-province minor of your choice. You will refrain from exploits and base your campaign on blood and iron, and a slight bit of diplomacy to unite some of the other German minors. Your chances of success in your chosen profession is slight, but since when the the threat of imminent demise, disembowelment, and decapacitation stop a would-be conqueror?

Peter Ebbesen · May 28, 2002

Originally posted by Thanak
11. How do you deal with inflation?
A) I never rack up any inflation due to my superior economic skills. I balance my budget even if it means delaying conquests, in order to avoid inflation

Bla, if you plan carefully, inflation don't build up. Inflation will crippel you in the long run.

While your A) choice shows sound judgement and is a valuable trait in an underling, it also indicates that you are most probably used to not playing exotic and/or poor countries, your statement about inflation as crippling having been empirically disproven during this very class.

WHACK!

Ouch

Faeelin · May 28, 2002

Originally posted by Peter Ebbesen

While your A) choice shows sound judgement and is a valuable trait in an underling, it also indicates that you are most probably used to not playing exotic and/or poor countries, your statement about inflation as crippling having been empirically disproven during this very class.

WHACK!

Ouch

Or maybe it's because he's not exploiting the loan/economic system the way you've been.

Although in fairness, that is a disturbingly accurate quiz. Leading brandenburg to glory is a decent challenge.

Carolus Rex · May 28, 2002

I have some criticism :

Mt Ebbesen, u have written that u have lowered inflation. IMO, that is a crime against our and ur style of playing. Bad man!
The higher the better!

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