Road of Queens - CKII India AAR

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-One : Battle Of Xainza

This chapter starts in late July, in the year 935 AD, and the rebellion was still putting up a fight. Slowly losing but continuing.

The Army of Timotheos was laying siege to the Castle of Lhunzhub. But the Empress had other plans for those soldiers.​

She ordered the Army to head west and attack a Rebel army. At that point she noticed one of the flanks was without a Commander.​

So she assigned Commander Arsenios to the empty position even while the Rebels noticed the approaching Imperial forces and tried to flee.

While this was happening Princess Ioustinia of Maurtya seemed to be having proboems. Seems she was envious of everything and everyone. Other children, Nobles, trees. It was pretty weird. The Empress decided to try to help her become more temperate.

It worked and the Princess became temperate. Which was a good thing for a future Empress.

“Now if we can only make her interested men,” murmured the Empress. “And get her to stop working out in the training hall. Men don’t like muscles on women.”

One Imperial Courtier whispered to another, “Let’s see how long that lasts.”

“I heard that!” remarked the Empress. “In the corner with both of you!”

Then, in August, there was more annoying news from within the Empire. Seemed Doux Lomapada of Tirabhukti was plotting of taking the Kingdom of Bihar away from, well, the Empress.

“HAHAHA!” laughed the Empress. “Tell him to stop. If he starts a war for Bihar I WILL kill him and all his kin. I swear on my mother’s grave.”

Then there was good news. The Battle of Xainza had started with the exchange of missiles, darts, arrows, and the first, and not last, use if air-launched Attack Pugs. (1)

Soon one of the enemy’s flanks collapsed and the Imperial forces focused their ranged weapons on the rest of the Rebels. Soon the Rebel center also collapsed and many of the Imperial Cavalry charged in. Being that the terrain was totally flat this gave the mounted forces a great advantage over the fleeing enemy troops.

Then the Empress was told that Anthe of the House Dysnomia had become 12 years old and needed the second stage of her education selected.

So the Empress picked a education that would teach the girl the way of the dagger and the way of the poison.

But there was also another child who needed their education continued. Anthemios of the House Dysnomia also needed his second stage of education.

So the Empress decided the boy learn diplomacy and politics. Hopefully he would make a good Noble or a good Commander or, at least, good arrow fodder.

Back in at the battle the Rebel forces were all either retreating or fighting rearguard actions.

By mid September the Battle was declared a victory. The Imperial forces had lost four hundred-forty soldiers while the enemy had lost one thousand-one-hundred-sixteen men. A MAJOR victory to be honest.

“Excellent!” proclaimed the Empress. “The Rebellion must give up now!”

---------------------------------​

Author’s Notes:

1. Modern Airborne Attack Pug. Known as AAPs they would be used for many invasions during the 20th and 21st Centuries. Their motto - Cuteness From Above.

(HA! You thought I forgot about the Pugs! I never forget the Pugs. They are everywhere and nowhere. They are masters of the dagger and the sword and the tacos….okay kind of lost the train of thought. Just fear them. FEAR THEM!)

 

[Bullfilter]

the first, and not last, use if air-launched Attack Pugs.

Given the likely propulsion methods available in the early-mid 10th century, this would surely be against the Geneva Conventions (if they had been agreed at that time, which of course they weren’t). A crime against caninity, at the least!

HA! You thought I forgot about the Pugs! I never forget the Pugs. They are everywhere and nowhere. They are masters of the dagger and the sword and the tacos….okay kind of lost the train of thought. Just fear them. FEAR THEM!

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Two : The End Of The Rebellion.

This chapter starts in mid September, of the year 935 AD, with the Army of Timotheos heading back towards Rebel territory.

But the Imperial Court pounted out that, at this point, it was likely the Rebellion was ready to give up. Or at least Countess Simonis might be willing to surrender.

The war with the Rebels had only two battle and ten sieges. It had cost the Imperial military one thousand-three-hundred-sixty men. Though many of those were hired swords and didn’t count.

The Rebellion had lost six thousand-six-hundred-twenty-eight. A crushing blow to those territories as many farms and business would now have nobody to run them.

When she was asked to give in to the Empress’s demands the Countess agreed to the Peace Treaty.

So the Revolt against the Rule of Basilissa Eulalia “The Unfaithful” had come to an end. And the Countess Simonis of Kunggar was thrown into the Castle’s dungeons.

And so this chapter ends with victory.

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Three : Sing The Praises Of Slop!

This chapter opened in mid September, of the year 935 AD, and the Countess of Simonis of Kunggar was being escorted into the Imperial dungeons under the Empress’s Castle.

The men who were guiding her down the stairs were professionals. They made sure she made it down the stairs. Which, she pointed out to them, were without safety rails. They agreed to pass on her complaint.

When they tossed her into one of the cells she complained about the straw bed, the lack of proper rugs, and a bucket for her ‘needs’.

“I want to see a manager!” she exclaimed.

“Of course Countess,” replied one of the thugs. “Here he comes now. Terry, the Dungeon Master.”

“Hello Grand Countess,” said Terry as he approached the cell door with a torch. “Welcome to your new home!”

Terry was not a person the Countess would normally deal with. He was dirty, hairy, and not up to the fashion of the day.

“I want to see the Empress!” demanded the Countess Simonis as she glared at Terry.

“I am sad to report she had more important things to do,” remarked the Dungeon Master with a smile. “You see, there is a plot in which many of her Nobles and Vassals have joined in. A plot against her, funny enough. She had to demand that they stop backing the plot.”

“Some were up in the air about if they would stop backing the plot or not,” he added. “And a few said no, if I understand. Interesting times we live in.”

Terry then smiled at the Countess. “But I’m here for you. All my attention is on you. In fact I have some news for you!”

He pulled out a few scrolls and opened one. “First, the Empress has decided to send you into the Oubliette.”

“NO!” screamed the Countess as the thugs opened the door to her cell, which she had not even had a chance to ‘enjoy’ and carried her down another flight of stairs. Which also had NO safety railings.

The oubliette was a dark hallway with a bunch of small hatchways in the floor. Terry picked one, opened, and nodded towards it with his chin. “Down she goes!”

The thugs dropped in a ladder, helped her down into the dark water that filled a few inches at the bottom of the hole, and pulled the ladder out. *CRASH*SNAP*CLICK*

She was now in the bottom of a hole, water up to her knees, looking up at the smiling face of the Dungeon Master through the small hatchway door.

The cell she had just been in was a thousand times better than the hole she was now in. A couple of rats were standing by the Dungeon Master and staring down at her with their eyes glowing in the torch light.

“We try to feed you once a day, with slop, and we do check on you every week,” he said as the thugs marched off. “We don’t follow any clock of course. Your meals may be served during the day or the night. Time is an illusion. Oh, I have some more news for you.”

He dropped a scroll into the hole. She grabbed it before it hit the water.

“The County of Kunggar was taken away from you,” Terry explained. “Oh…and this…”

He dropped another scroll which she grabbed.

“The County of Monyul was also removed from your authority,” he continued.

“She also wanted to take the County of Lhoyu but her Courtiers warned her some of her Vassals might not like it,” he added. “True, you’re a scumbag traitor but more than two counties taken away from you would be a little too much.”

“And like I said she is busy elsewhere,” remarked Terry as he stood up and stated to walk away.

The Countess glared up at hatch as his torch light started to fade away. “So she is having trouble is she?” she said with some glee.

“Some troubles,” the Dungeon Master’s voice said out of the growing darkness. “But knowing her family…well…trouble makers better beware. Like you…if they fail to win their little conflicts they will end up here. You may have company soon. If you live long enough. Oh, and don’t harm the rats. They’re unionized.”

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Four : Back To Normal

Tax Farmer At Work
​

This chapter opens in mid September, of the year 935 AD, with one war over and things going back to normal. Mostly.

Basilissa Eulaia “The Unfaithful” of Maurya now had two new titles. Which she could give away if she wanted. And a mostly stable Empire. The roads were now mostly safe for travelers, caravans, and tax farmers.

Both the Army Levies and the Alan Riders were dismissed.

Leaving the Imperial Retinue to march back to the County of Gyantse. One of the counties nearest to the Capital not inflected by Slow Fever.

Of course, not all parts of the Empire were at peace.

The Doux Rajyapala of Nadia was in his war with Punjab. And was losing it. Maybe he would make a come back but the Empress doubted it. His skill at warfare was….pitiful. And he didn’t like her anyway.

Then there was Exarch Mew “The Whisperer” of Kham and his war with Tishifan. Which he was very much winning. And the Empress was happy about that. Because Mew liked her and, therefore, was a good Vassal.

“If he wins maybe I will give him another title?” she said to her husband as she examined the Wall Map. Her husband just shrugged.

And so we end this chapter with two wars still going on. Next chapter the Seven Top Religions of the Known World!

 

[Surt]

So Mew is still going strong, a little rough around the face but still ...

 

[Bullfilter]

Terry then smiled at the Countess. “But I’m here for you. All my attention is on you. In fact I have some news for you!”

Oh, and it’s unlikely to be good.

“First, the Empress has decided to send you into the Oubliette.”

Tick. Just desserts. More to follow!

“We try to feed you once a day, with slop, and we do check on you every week,”

Terry’s got it in lumps, out the back.

and don’t harm the rats. They’re unionized.”

You don’t get them, they’re part of the union. Good thing for them they don’t have to worry about Lord Meow Meow. Just Lord Mew - who they’re unlikely to see, if he wins his war.

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Five : Seven Top Religions Of 935 AD

Medieval Religions​

This chapter opens in mid September, of the year 935 AD, with the Empress pouting.

Seems even after her little war there were powerful Factions and a total of, no less than, six known plots. And, remember, those were only the KNOWN ones.

The plotters, in most cases, were not being very cooperative. Some refused to stop backing the schemes of others.

So the Empress, in a pissed off mood, wandered over to the Wall Map. At the moment silver and metal smiths were working on it. Fine gold wires moved about the map, showing major roads, while different colored gems showed mountain ranges, rivers, and valleys.

And it had to be updated almost weekly.

“Does it show religions?” asked the Empress.

One of the artists, a Master Ferris, looked up from the work he was doing on the Map Legend near the bottom of the Wall Map.

“Er…no, not really,” he pointed out as he adjusted his goggles and gave the Empress a weak smile.

“Add it,” she said before walking off.

Ferris and the other skilled artists and smiths and jewelers all sighed and started to remake the Wall Map from scratch.

And so Master Ferris went to the Royal Library to research the known world’s greatest religions.

Most of the books were not in the proper order and a few were on the floor. The librarians were not very helpful as they spent much of their time trying to put books back in their proper place and seemed to treat visitors to the Royal Library as invaders and not as welcomed visitors.

But Master Ferris finally found out which Religions were the Top Dogs in the world. As it were. The Number One Religion of the Known World was the Reformed Aztec Church.

The Reformed Aztec Religion, which worshiped Huitzilopochtli, also known as Uitzilopochtli, or Xiuhpilli, or Totec. He, it, was the Sun and War God. In Aztec art this deity was often shown as an hummingbird or an eagle.

Most of the religion seemed to center of keeping the sun moving by sacrificing to this deity. Even other Gods were sometimes sacrificed to keep the sun moving.

The Reformed Aztec Religion had a proper Holy Book, a formal church hierarchy, and everything. Due to their history of victories and pretty much crushing the Rome Church, their Authority was pretty high.

The Head of the Aztec Church was Tlatoni Yayauhqui “The Just”. Whose military skill was…wanting. Still, as one of the most powerful Religious Leaders of the Known World he had to be doing SOMETHING right.

The next most powerful Religion was called Hinduism. It wasn’t really a single religion as so much a blanket of successor faiths of Ancient Indian polytheism as recorded in Vedas. It had no Head.

In fact due to the many sects within it, as well as the thousands of years of co-existing with Jainism and Buddhism, has made it a somewhat tolerant and pluralistic towards other Indian Religions. But it was still the most war-like out of the three. Which was why Hinduism had held its own in India against the invading Religions.

The Third Religion on the list that Ferris studied was Sunni. The most wide spread form of Islam. With Allah as the center of the sect and the formal head was the Sunni Caliph.

Ferris didn’t understand about the split with the Shia but didn’t try to dive too deep into the two sects.

The current Sunni Caliph was the 8 year old Qawurd. It was unknown how long he would be the Religious Head or the Ruler of his own House.

The Fourth was Tengri. Which made sense as this was the Pagan Religion of the Horse Lords. Including the Mongol Empire. Though, lately, many had joined Hinduism.

Tengrism was a mixture of Shamanism, animism, and ancestor worship but had the core beings of the Heavenly-Father and Earth Mother. Once again Ferris didn’t dive in too deep. But he did find it a powerful Religion on the steppes.

The Fifth most powerful Religion in the known world was a Heresy much to Master Ferris’s surprise.

Paulician was a Orthodox Gnostic Heresy. The library had little details on Paulicianism but it did suggest that the infighting within the Byzantine Empire, and its Imperial Family, had done some long lasting damage to the Orthodox Church.

The Head of this Religion…or Heresy was Patriarch Nikephoroes “The Pious”.

The Sixth Religion was Buddhism. As he knew all about that he quickly moved on to research the Seventh Religion.

Which was Monothelite, another Orthodox Hersey, in which the followers said Jesus was both a human man and the Son of God BUT of one will. A somewhat confusing and dangerous position to take among Christians.

Its head was Patriach Dositheos “The Cruel”. Not the BEST name for a Religious Leader.

“Well, at least I have someplace to start,” Master Ferris said to himself as he took his notes back to the Throne Room to meet with the others. They needed to decide how to insert Religious Symbols onto the Wall Map.

 

[roverS3]

A sweet victory, let's hope the internal peace lasts long enough for it to yield it's full economic benefit. I'm surprised the other vassals aren't prepared to give up their factions now that they have seen how the Duchess was crushed on the field of battle and dropped into a very nasty hole. Maybe a tour of the oubliettes should be mandatory for all of the unruly nobles, so that they fully realise the consequences of their silly schemes and rebellions. The rat unions are especially scary here, and they might object to so many annoying visitors.

I wonder it wouldn't be more efficient to make a second map wall showing the religions instead of taking down the regular one and replacing it, this could even be a good excuse to further expand the imperial palace. Of course, it is unlikely the Empress would have thought of that, preoccupied as she is with vassals that don't like her.

At least Mew is on her side, and doing his part fighting on the fringes of the empire.

 

[Surt]

All UR Buddhist holy sites R belong to us!

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Six : Long Distance Plans

The Meeting Room had no been used for years. The Council Members, those within the Imperial Capital, were somewhat surprised to called to a meeting.

The problem with this was most of the Council WASN’T in the Capital on the 18th of September when the Empress called for the meeting to be held.

The Magistros was off creating a fabrication claim in Kalinganagar. Or at least he was trying to.

The Protostrator was leading troops in Lhoyu and Exarch Mew “The Whisper”, who was also the Spymaster, was off crushing his own little revolt.

The Upadhyaya was secluded in his home. In other words he was hiding under his bed and trying not to get Slow Fever.

Therefore the meeting was between the Imperial Sakellarios, Orestes “The Sleepy”, who was also the Court Tutor, and Basilissia “The Unfaithful”.

When Orestes entered the Meeting Room he found the Empress the only other person at the round table. And on the table was a time piece. It was…weird looking.

And sadly there was no food.

“Greeting my highness,” said the Sakellarios as he bowed and took a seat as far away from her as he could. “May I ask the reason for this meeting?”

The Empress held two maps in her hand. She placed the first on the table.

The Sakellarios examined the map and tried to hide his shock. “The County of Devagiri which holds the Holy Site of Ellora.”

The Empress nodded silently and placed the second map on the table.

“The County of Bamian which holds the Holy Site of Shar-i-Gholghola,” added the Sakellarios with a glance up at the Empress. “These two Holy Sites are the only Sites NOT under Imperial control.”

The Empress smiled and said, “That is correct. We will add them to the Empire.”

Orestes looked confused. “Both Holy Sites are so far away…we would have to take ALL of India. That could take decades!”

“Centuries maybe,” added the Empress. “It could take generations. But we will unite all of Buddhism. Also Mew is a neighbor of one of the Sites. So it isn’t that far away. Any questions?”

“Uh….no…?”

“Excellent,” remarked the Empress. “I will pass on the plan to the others.”

As Orestes left the Meeting Room he had two thoughts on his mind. One, there was a plan? And two, he wished there had been cookies in the Meeting Room.

 

[Surt]

I fully agree with Orestes, there should have been more cookies, and not telling the most important minions of the plan could be a mistake, leading to problems when you do a surprise invasion in say ... Albania.

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Seven : Picking A Holy Site To Visit

This chapter opens in September, of the year 935 AD, with Basilissa Eulalia “The Unfaithful” of the (Second) Empire of Maurya worried about her control over her Vassals, Nobles, counties, and population.

There were a lot of Dangerous Factions out there who she would need to either destroy or make harmless.

On the other hand the Capital was no longer endangered by Slow Fever so she was able to open the gates of the Castle/Palace and move among the smelly populace.

After some pondering the Empress realized one way to gain some of the trust of the Vassals, at least the Religious Vassals, was to go on a Pilgrimage. But where to go?

Going to Sarnath seemed to be the best bet. The Holy Site was within the borders of the Empire AND run by a Vassal who kind of liked her. Which meant less chances of being stabbed in her sleep or her food being poisoned.

The best part was she could use the rivers, the Brahmaputra and the Ganges, to journey to the Holy Site in style. No shaking wagons, no road dust, no bed bugs in third rate inns!

As the Empress planned out her trip, picking the best tourist spots and riverside taverns, she peeked at “The Chronicles of the House Dynsnomia” and noticed that a tall woman had been crucified and there had two suns in the sky at one point.

“I miss all the good stuff,” she complained.

And so we end this chapter with the Empress organizing a river trip.

 

[Bullfilter]

A time to see if she can consolidate and thwart those pesky factional heavies. Particularly those arguing for increased council power and gavelkind succession: May the Buddha protect from such horrors!

 

[Surt]

Every ruler should go through the motions of apparent piety, you can always party on later.

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Eight : The Journey Begins

This chapter starts in early October, of the year 935 AD, with Basilissa Eulaia planning her journey to the west. Reading guide books, checking out maps, reading reviews of some of the inns and best taverns along the way.

While doing this she was brought some interesting news. Princess Sibylla of Maurya, her Aunt, had been imprisoned by Tishifan of the Kham Revolt.

In others words the Princess had been tossed into jail by her own son. Likely because she was still a member of the House Dysnomia.

“How rude!” proclaimed the Empress when she heard the news.

She continued to work on her plans. Renting the boats, assigning the Guards to escort her, working out the daily menus. Important work that only she could do. What style to wear? What colored shoes? Should she take capes or no capes?

By mid October she received news that the Non-Aggression Pact between the Doux of the Bhar Raj and the Doux of the Bangala Varman Raj had come to an end. Likely somebody had died.

“Maybe their father?” remarked the Empress as she looked up from the wine list she was making. “Didn’t they share a father or something? Eh, whatever.”

Near the end of October it was finally time to leave. The Empress loaded her staff, and supplies, onto a fleet of boats in the River Brahmaputra. The boats, of course, looked like normal fishing boats or cargo boats.

As the small ragtag fleet launched she left behind Doux Ioannikios of Tosali, her Son, as the Regent. He was kind of smelly but he was loyal.

Of course the Empress’s boat might have looked like a common fishing boat on the outside. But it had all the modern conveniences. Monkey powered fans, Queen sized bed, dining area, live band, gold toilets, and, of course, a hot tub.

As we close this chapter and the boats move westwards the Empress sat down to her first meal and complained about how she wasn’t looking forward to roughing it.

 

[roverS3]

Yay. Another river cruise. Seems like a lot of fun. Let's just hope that no one starts another rebellion while the empress is in her hot-tub on the boat...

 

[Surt]

Queen sized bed

they come in all sizes ...

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Nine : River Trip And Other Issues

This chapter opens in late November, in the year 935 AD, with the Empress enjoying her river trip. The good food, the chilled wines, the music, the monkey knife fights, and, of course, the sound sleep on the bed. The river even helped rock her to sleep.

One day the boats turned a bend in the river and before them was a splendid city. The houses of the wealthy and poor were made of stone and supplieD with water with a MASSIVEreservoir. And above it all was a citadel which overlooked the whole city from a hilltop.

“Boring,” proclaimed the Empress and ordered the fleet to move on.

In December, as the fleet moved over the rivers, a duck brought news for the Empress from the Council. Seems The Count of Mustang had his Lords pass the Slightly Tax Focused Burgher law. In other words the City Vassals would pay more in taxes while not having to supply levies.

“Good,” remarked the Empress on reading the letter. “Oh, and cook the duck for dinner.”

About a week later a grumpy owl brought more news from the Council. Two letters in fact.

The first letter reported that the old Bhikkhu of Para-Lauhitya had died and passed on his titles to Niphon. A Lowborn but learned man.

“Interesting,” said the Empress on reading the letter. “Cook the owl!”

“It already flew away Sire,” remarked one of the Courtiers. “And it took one of your pastries.”

“That’s why you never trust an owl,” pointed out the Empress. “Anyway, as the old Bhikkhu was also my Upadhyaya I need to pick a new one for the Council.”

She then opened the second letter.

Seems that Theodosia of the House Chikore was plotting to kill the official Heir of the man she was the Concubine of. If she killed Harendranarayan Chikore he own son, Jyotirishwar Chikore, would be the next in line for the titles.

“Well,” said the Empress on reading the letter. “At least this murder plot makes sense. I assume the Spymaster will tell her to stop.”

She ordered a list from the portable library on those available to become the NEW Court Chaplain. A new Upadhyaya had to be selected.

When the lists were brought to her she examined them and found that the person at the top of the list was really the only pick.

Konstantios, the Court Guru, was the only real pick. Who else would make such a good Upadhyaya?

In the return letter the Empress also ordered the newly selected Upadhyaya to the County of Samatata to help convert the Unfaithful.

Soon the fleet docked, the supplies was unloaded, and the Empress with her escort marched to, and through, the Holy City of Varanasi to the Holy Site of Sarnath.

This was the park where Buddha had given his first sermons. And now it was filled with thousands of priests, monks, travelers, street vendors, food stalls, pickpockets, and beggars.

As the Empress and her party settled in at one of the third rate inns she decided to send the Bhikkhu Ajmal of Dhauli a small gift. She wanted to keep an eye on Ajmal.

The days she spent with the worshipers among the shrines were amazing. People had come here for thousands of years. Many of her own Dynasty had come here over the years. It touched her like never before.

And so we end this chapter with the Empress becoming a Zealous Ruler.

 

[Eurasia]

Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Ten : Going Back Home

This chapter opens in mid December, of the year 935 AD, the Empress and her party were packing up to go back to the Capital.

As she prepared to return home she received a letter, via a owl, that told her that Bhikkhu Ajmal had enjoyed her gift.

As the fleet moved back eastwards the Empress wondered what her husband was up too. He had not come along and had stayed home.

Another letter was delivered that explained that the Doux of Magadha had passed the Late Feudal Administration Law.

The Empress didn’t really like the Vassals and Nobles of Magadha. They always caused problems.

This one had even married a Norse woman! Neither of them liked the Empress.

By January, of the year 936 AD, the County of Bikrampur’s populace had stopped shrinking.

Soon the Empress and her party were back at home. She was happy to be back. She could sleep in her own bedroom and eat meals at her own dining room.

At that point, of course, the Regency for Basilissa Eulalia ended and she was back in charge.

And so this chapter ends with the Empress back in the Capital.