Big Bad Fishes need to be reeled in. Hopefully the Medium Bad Fishes can be hooked before they can be Big. The Small Bad Fishes should be netted before they grow bigger.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Thirty-Eight : Plotting Murder
Chapter Nine Hundred-Thirty-Eight : Plotting Murder
This chapter opens in the middle of January, of the year 937 AD, with the Empress noticing that the Province of Kumara Mandala was recovering, badly, from the Slow Fever.
Seems the Province had become known for a lot of mass graves.
In late January Doux Antonios of Magadha used a favor the Empress owed him to wipe his sins away. In other words he demanded a pardon and she could not refuse.
After he left the Throne Room she just laughed. “He wasted a favor on a pardon! HAHAHA! My Vassals are all idiots!”
After that the Spymaster brought her some interesting news.
Seems Dhireshwar of the House Visayapati was plotting to kill his…own wife. Of course, he was Deceitful, Lunatic, and Cruel, so that might explain it.
“Tell him to stop,” remarked the Empress on reading the report. “People killing family or spouses scare away the tourist trade.”
And then in February Exarch Mew cut his wife’s head off. No, really, he did.
“My Vassals are idiots and horrible spouses!” proclaimed the Empress as she looked over the report. “How do other Rulers handle this? Because, you know, drinking.”
And so we end this chapter with the Empress going to get a few drinks from the bar hidden behind the throne.
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Hemavati has cancer and is not dying fa.st enough to suit husband (he probably has a replacement waiting). Public beheadings of wives will probably bring in many tourists for the spectacle. Thank you and refresh yourself with the Basilissa as she should not drink alone.
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Well that was a bit grim. She must have surely done something serious to warrant that kind of treatment. Even Henry VIII went to the trouble of charges, trumped up or not, when a divorce was not deemed final enough.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Thirty-Nine : Mew So Crazy!
Chapter Nine Hundred-Thirty-Nine : Mew So Crazy!
This chapter opens in mid February, of the year 937 AD, with the Empress having a debate with herself about Exarch Mew.
While he was a coo-coo he now needed a new wife. So she wanted to get him one. But the choices were few. And two of them were of her Dynasty.
The Empress suggested that Mew marry Ioulia. It seemed he was impressed by the woman. She…not so impressed with her future husband.
So he agreed to the marriage. Almost right away. But the Empress noticed that Mew didn’t have a very high opinion of his Liege.
As the Empress liked to stack the odds in her favor she sent a gift to Ioulia. Which helped. A little.
The Empress also asked Mew for a Non-Aggression Pact. And was turned down. Seems he had issues with having a Non-Aggression Pact with his Liege.
“He is crazy or he is up to something,” murmured the Empress. “Oh well. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Then Exarch Mew let one of his daughters out of prison.
The Empress read this report and looked shocked. “Well….as long as he treats his new wife well.”
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How could the new wife not be impressed with Mew? Thank you
Treats new wife well = buys new blade for ax.
Treats new wife well = buys new blade for ax.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty : Dealing With A Trouble Maker?
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty : Dealing With A Trouble Maker?
This chapter opens in mid August, of the year 937 AD, with the Empress deciding it was time to deal with one of the most annoying Trouble Maker in her Realm.
In this case it was Doux Lomapada of Tirabhukti. She decided to wanted to arrest. But if he started a Revolt she wanted to be ready. So she needed to plan things out carefully.
The timing was pretty good. He was in debt and in a war. Which meant his soldiers were already occupied.
And nobody would care if she imprisoned him because he was already a traitor.
The military noticed the Host, the Host it had chased cross the border, was returning. And decided to meet it halfway.
The Host noticed, tried to retreat, and failed. And so the Battle of Chhonhup started.
Of course there was the traditional exchange of arrows, darts, and missiles. Soon the Host found itself overwhelmed and only the right flank was able to hold its position. Soon the Host was in retreat.
And the battle came to an end. Was it a victory for the Empire? Well, ,maybe, as the Imperial forces were still standing while the Host was fleeing.
While the battle had been going on other events were brought to the Empress’s attention.
“Tell her to stop,” said the Empress. “I have other things to deal with!”
And so the Empress returned to her plotting. Would she be able to deal with the Doux? Or would other events keep derailing her plot?
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The Empress has double standards. She feels free to plot murder, while hating on others for doing the same. Ratnedvi wants to prevent her grandfather spending her inheritance that he earned. Thank you for another in the life of the Empress.
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That's a failing of Kings and Emperors all over the world...
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-One : More Plots And Events
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-One : More Plots And Events
This chapter opens in early September, of the year 937 AD, with more news coming from the Mongol Empire.
Seems the Khagan had released another child from his dungeon. Looks like the kid’s mother was also in dungeons.
“I’m starting to think I need to call social services on the Khagan,” mumbled the Empress with a frown on her face.
A few days later another child, from the same Dynasty, was released by the Khagan. Interesting enough this kid stayed in the Mongol Empire and had the Khagan as their Educator.
By the end of September the Imperial Mauryan Army was ordered back to the Capital.
By early October Doux Lomapada was starting to push back in his war against the Kingdom of Ayudha. In other words he was starting to win.
If the Empress wanted to arrest the Doux she would want to do so soon.
There was also more news from the Mongol Empire. A Khan of the name of Ozmish of the House Tangghut had started a Independent Faction.
Of course Chief Theophilos of Artux joined up right away because he wanted to piss off the Great Khan even more.
Then she received news from within her own Realm. The Count of Kunggar, of the House Mana, was plotting to take his Liege’s Duchy.
“Tell the Prince to behave!” the Empress told her Spy Master. “The House of Mana is a powerful House but the Nobles need to obey me.”
By November the Imperial Forces were redirected southwards. The Empress doubted the Doux would try to put up a fight when she tried to have him arrested, as most of his forces were already engaged, but she wanted to have troops there just in case.
The Protostrator was sent to the County of Kusinagara to be there to arrest the Doux when the time was right. The reason he was there was because it had become known that the Doux WAS now with his military.
Seems he had grown a spine.
But, just in case the Doux decided to put up a fight, the Empire’s favorite Mercenary unit was put on the payroll. The Alan Riders.
So now the Alan Riders were coming in from the east while the Imperial Forces came in from the north. And everything was ready.
Will the Doux allow himself to be arrested? Or use his army to protect himself?
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Khan Özmish wanted the Khagan not to be ahead of him. O, the Khan is now missing his head. Chief Theo the Foolish sat on a wall calling the khagan names, now all the khagan's riders can not find all the pieces to put Chief Theophilos back together (if any wished). Why hire mercs when they may not be needed? Thank you for holding the Basilissa's hand.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Two : Death By Elephant
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Two : Death By Elephant
This chapter opened in late November, of the year 937 AD, with the Empress, once again, getting news that had nothing to do with her plots.
Sees the Bhikkhu Niphon of Para-Lauhitya had died and Bhikkhu Nikephoros had inherited his titles.
The problem was Niphon was likely murdered. No doubt about it. But at least the new Bhikkhu Nikephoros had a high opinion of his Liege.
Still the Empress decided to send the new Ruler of Para-Lauhitya some cash anyway to bump up his opinion of her.
The Freelancers were told to try to bypass the conflict and join the Imperial Forces.
But the Empress soom became impatient. “Just arrest him! He can’t revolt against us while his troops are also on the field,” she told their Agents.
And it worked. He was grabbed and brought to the Capital’s dungeons as quickly as you could say “Shoots and Ladders”.
In fact nobody seemed to even notice among his own people and the war continued without him.
“Wow, that was easy,” remarked the Empress. “Well, tell the mercenaries we don’t need them.”
So the Alan Riders were released after just being paid to march around. They felt it was a fair deal.
The Empress also had to pick a new Commander to replace the Doux. The Empress picked Afsar, a Courtier on top of the list, to be the new Commander.
Then the Empress turned her attention towards her new prisoners.
She thought about taking his Duchy away from him but noticed it would upset a lot of people and, to be honest, he would still be a problem. So she had him killed by a elephant. If her Vassals get upset with her no matter what she did she figured she would just do away with the jerk.
No, really, an elephant crushed him. And the new Duchess had a low opinion of her Liege. No doubt because the Empress had murdered her father by elephant.
So the Empress sent the girl a purse of coins. And it worked. The Duchess had a positive opinion of her Liege after the gift. Not a high one but a positive one.
With this done the Imperial Forces were ordered east. Where it was noticed a Host was approaching the Capital. But…nothing wrong would go wrong with a Host approaching the Capital. Right? RIGHT?!?!
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To know, know the Empress is to love, love the Empress . . . so long as she gives you a satchel of small metal disks with her face. Please watch out for the mystery host.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Three : Are Things Better?
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Three : Are Things Better?
This chapter opens in early December, of the year 937 AD, with the Empress looking over her records to see if things had improved. After all the main trouble maker was…well..dead.
Sadly, there seemed to be as many plots as there had been before.
And even the list of Factions seemed to be as long as ever.
On top of that the war against the Kingdom of Ayudha still continued. But that was the problem of the new Duchess and had nothing to do with the Empress.
Then there was the Host approaching the Capital.
Then the Steward, Orestes, asked permission to hire thugs to help collect taxes from the peasants. The Empress decided against such actions. Beat up peasants were grumpy peasants and were less likely to dish out their taxes.
Then she was notified that Todogen’s Host was attacking her Castle/Palace. Which meant she might be forced to flee.
“Gosh darn it!” replied the Empress.
And she was also told that a young Freeloader had also appeared in the Imperial Court. How she got past the Host nobody could say.
“Damn it!” exclaimed the Empress on seeing the guest. Who was now just another mouth to feed during a siege.
Seems problems come in threes.
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Finding a babe in the reeds should be a cause for celebration. The host crossed a lot of territory to raid the capital. Any units handy to scatter the remains of Todogen to the four corners or at least to the Heavenly Mountains. (Usually, hosts conquer not raid.) Thank you
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Four : Rumors And Such
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Four : Rumors And Such
The grave digger, nicknamed Hades by the people of the town, was always a good source of information. Mostly on who died that day but also he always seemed to know what was happening in the Empire and most of India. Sadly, his news was always weeks, if not months, old.
For example the Imperial Capital was now under siege from a Host. No doubt annoying to the Empress who would now have to live on whatever was already in the kitchens and pantries.
“Of course nobody will roast the rats,” said Hades as he rested on his shovel for a few moments. “They have a strong union.”
“But let us go over some old news,” he added as he picked up his shovel to continue to work on the fresh graves.
In March near the start of the year, for example, the Empress’s niece, Melissa, needed the second stage of her education selected.
“The Empress decided the girl needed to protect herself against schemes and spies,” said Hades as he started a new grave. “And the best way to counter plots against was to become a great plotted. In other words learn how to work in the shadows with the dagger and the poison and the rope.”
The listening crowd nodded their heads knowingly. Even the toddlers. They always nodded their heads even if they didn’t understand what the grave digger was saying. They didn’t want to look like they weren’t in the “know”. Whatever that meant. They didn’t know.
But if you asked them what “being in the know” meant they would nod their heads.
In March there was news about Duchess Eupraxia II of Varendra. People were always interested in the future Empress and when the grave digger had news about her people came from miles away to hear the news from Hades himself.
“Seems the Empress sense her daughter needed some guidance,” stated the grave digger has he stopped to have his lunch. A pastry full of goat meat and cheese. Washed down by a skin of some weak, but cheap, red wine.
The crowd nodded their heads.
“In the end,” remarked the grave digger as he cleared his throat after drinking some of the wine. “The Empress decided to teach the girl about being Patient. Learning when to stay still and when to strike.”
“And it worked,” added Hades, “though it is said the Empress, herself, lost her own patience in the process.”
The crowd nodded their heads.
Later that month it became known that Hariyamandal of the House Bhar was plotting to kill Arsenios of the House Dysnomia.
“As you all know that’s a big no-no,” pointed out the grave digger as he tried to uproot a dead tree from where he wanted to dig out more graves.
The listening crowd nodded their heads. And, indeed, it was well known by all to never threaten the Imperial House.
“Of course the Spymaster told him to stop it,” added the grave digger as he pulled and pulled the tree stump. “And nobody, NOBODY, ignored a warning from Lord Mew.”
The crowd nodded their heads. Indeed, everybody knew about crazy wife murdering Spy Master of the Empress.
“And before the Todogen’s Host appeared there was Kuntuvdi’s Host,” pointed out the grave digger. “Attacking the County of Bumthang.”
“As Host was still on the march the Imperial forces were sent to stop them,” remarked the grave digger.
“This is old news!” shouted out one of the traders.
“Did all of you know about it?”
“Well, no,” murmured some of the crowd.
“Then shut up!” said Hades. “If you don’t like my news let me work.”
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Author’s Notes:
OOC : Found old images among the newer ones. So flashbacks! For example Kuntuvdi’s Host was the Host our army was chasing and fighting in the earlier chapters. Sorry about the confusion! These events, and the following few chapters, would have happened between Chapter 939 and Chapter 940.
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There is not a linear time continuum in Hades. Teaching a teenager patience will quickly test your patience. Thank you for braving an out of patience Basilissa (How could you tell the difference from regular Basilissa?)
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Five : More Old News
Chapter Nine Hundred-Forty-Five : More Old News
“Now,” continued the grave digger, “we all know in the middle of March that the Bhikshuni of Kesaria died a natural death.”
“And the new Bhikshuni was a man by the name of Pamphilios,” he continued. “Who now ran the Vihara of Kesaria in the County of Simaramapura All rumors suggest he had a good opinion of the Empress.”
“Boring!” shouted one of the men in the crowd.
“Well then you are in luck because the Imperial forces started a Battle with the Host of Kuntuvdi shortly afterwards,” Hades proclaimed. “The Imperial Commanders tricked them by switching directions and catching them off guard! And the Battle of Bumthang had begun!”
“Of course there was the traditional exchange of arrows and other missiles,” the grave digger explained. “As was the norm in those days.”
“It wasn’t that long ago! It was in April.”
“Shut up,” replied Hades. “Now, the Host didn’t do so well as their left flank collapsed.”
“Then the center fell apart,” he added. “As you can guess the Host was not doing well at all.”
“They lost didn’t they?”
“Shut up and don’t spoil the ending,” stated the grave digger. “Ahem. Soon the Host was fleeing the Imperial Cavalry.”
“And the Host lost-”
“Told you!”
“Shut up!” remarked Hades. “Like I said the Host lost the Battle. And three hundred thirty two raiders while the Imperials only lost one hundred eighty eight soldiers.”
At which point the grave digger passed around his hat for tips. He received a few copper coins, a onion, and a rock.
“Next story time tomorrow!” he announced as he picked up his shovel and went to the shack he lived in on the property.
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Author’s Notes:
These events, and the following few chapters, would have happened between Chapter 939 and Chapter 940. These images got lost among the others. My fault.
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